Wind

According to the weatherman, this January has been extraordinarily windy. It's also been extraordinarily dry but the windy bit is more fun. I love the wind. I didn't love it so much when I was in Vegas and the wind caused what was equivalent to a sandstorm. Anyway, we're lapping it up. We drive with the car windows down, we sleep without the air-conditioning at night and we try to shoot the breeze when we can.

I heard that the Marina Barrage was the place to do it, so we packed up the family one Saturday evening to picnic there. In theory, a picnic in the open sounded like a grand idea. Open space for the kids to run while the adults lazed around and watched the kites being flown.
























But that was in theory. In reality, it was far too windy to feed the children anything. It was an effort trying to keep them from being blown away, what more the soup we were trying to spoon into their mouths. After a while, we gave up with the soup and just gave them the dry component of their dinner which was pasta. Even that had to be fed from a cup lest half of it ended up on an unsuspecting poor sod down wind from us.

























The twins loved the wind though. They loved being blown about even if they didn't love falling on the grass so much. The grandparents were paranoid that the winds would cause them to catch their death of cold and spent half the time chasing them to try to pull more clothes onto them. The twins took it as a "Catch me if you can!" moment and evaded capture most of the time. That in itself kept them quite warm.

























Packrat and I thought it was so cool to have somewhere this windy in Singapore. It reminded us windier places that we loved, like St Kilda Beach or Busselton Jetty where Packrat's lens cover got blown right out of his hand into the ocean.

























We liked it so much we went back on our own again, not quite learning our lesson as to how cold it was. T-shirts and shorts did not suffice. We ended up sitting behind a concrete wall just so that our hands wouldn't freeze. But it was great fun, lying on the grass, being able to pick out Orion, the North Star and the sliver of a crescent moon. That was until I started getting itchy on top of the cold.

The next time we do this, the kids are going to eat first, be dressed in pants so they don't scrap themselves when they get blown over and we're coming with blankets and jackets so that we can lie and gaze at the stars longer without turning hypothermic.


























Technorati Tags: babies, Marina Barrage, wind

Read More

Oriental babies

It's the 6th day of the year of the Cow and only now do I actually have the time to blog about the craziness that was the New Year. Those who read my other blog will now how much I hate New Year celebrations. But that hasn't stopped me from making it a big deal for my kids because they are not jaded and cynical and I recall how excited I got about the New Year, every year as a kid and I want them to have the same. I tried to do for that what I remembered about my childhood new years.

1. New pyjamas to wear to herald in the New Year.

I don't really remember the significance of it, but I'm guessing since it was important for one to wear new clothes on the first day of the New Year, it must be equally important to wake up in new clothes since by the time one awoke, a good 6 to 8 hours of the New Year had already passed.















2. Presenting oranges and wishes to the elders in the house.

For the past week, the twins had undergone rigourous orange presenting-hand shaking training. Each day, they were coaxed to put their hands together and offer good wishes "Gong xi gong xi". From there, they also graduated to presenting oranges to anyone who gave them time of day before offering them "gong xi" wishes. This was very effective in gaining the favour of the elders in the house. Evan had an especially endearing way of doing it where he would profer oranges, clasp his hands together, stick out his diapered bum a little, bend forward and shake his clasped hands while going backwards. That boy would have gained favour in the most unforgiving of Chinese Courts.

Hopefully, by next year, they'll be able to actually say the requisite generic "gong xi fa cai" or "xing nian kuai le" or the more traditional Teochew "xing jia ju yi" or Cantonese "gong hei fatt choy".
















3. Play dress up ala Shanghai Tang.

It was much harder for me to do this with Evan because my Mom had stipulated in no uncertain terms that whatever sam fu we put Evan in, it should not have any dragons on it. And I'm sure it is lucky in Chinese lore for the boys to be adorned in dragon gear because I could find nary a suit that didn't bear dragons. Baby J, with her bangs and jet black hair and tiny eyes looked like a little doll, until she broke out in a run or hiked up her dress so that she could navigate steps. For the first time ever, she was also in decent white, buckle shoes instead of her fake Crocs or rubber shoes. Unfortunately, that was just for the cheong sam. I had no shoes to match her red sam fu, so she borrowed Evan's bright red Gap sneakers. The girl was extremely confused and kept gesturing that the shoes on her feet belonged to her brother, all of which, we blissfully ignored.
















All in, they had a good time although they were quite exhausted. They were given their first taste of pineapple tart pastry and it was good. Next year, it'll be harder to stop them from scarfing down whole tarts and whatever else they get their little hands on.

At the end of all the visiting, we were left with one very exhausted Mommy who could only think about going to the spa or take a vacation that entailed nothing more than sitting on the beach and reading her book.











Technorati Tags: babies, lunar new year

Read More

Linus and his blue blanket

For some strange reason, sleep is a big issue with my kids. Some kids sleep through the night at 6 weeks and some are 3 and still waking up for night feeds. My kids are the latter more than the former although until recently, Evan was a sleep from 8.30pm- 5 am kind of boy.

Baby J has always had issues because she didn't feed well while she was younger and she never quite caught up. She's much better now, clocking an 8.30- 4.30 night with an in between cry although that has been easily satiated with water. I envy the moms who have kids but manage a full night's sleep. I also envy the moms that have been able to sleep train their children. Even after 19 months, I still haven't managed to do that. Primarily because there are too many people in the house who cannot bear to hear the children cry. When I suggested it, I was accused of depriving my children of sustenance and accused of being heartless.

And something is always up with one of them. Either they're sick or they have issues with us having just come home from vacation or are starting work or some sort of anxiety and will wake up needing us at night.

For the last week, it's been Evan. We think he's insecure about something because he's clingy in the day and he doesn't want to sleep in his bed, in the night. He'd demand that we lie with him on a mattress, cry blue murder if we tried to get him to sleep in his cot and go hysterical if we left the room before he was fully asleep. Even when he manage to get him to fall asleep in his cot, hours later when he stirs, opens an eye and realises that neither Mommy nor Daddy are in the room, howling and big fat tears ensue. Strangely enough, his sister sleeps through it and offers no comfort.

I'm not sure what it is, I'm thankful that I'm not working as I weather this. But it is exhausting and sometimes I feel quite miserable when it's the nth time I'm in the room and the nth time he's screeching for me. I'm also sure that once he gets over this, something will bug his sister.

Tis the tale of the mother of twins.

Technorati Tags: twins, sleep patterns

Read More

Parents vs. Grandparents

The old adage is that regardless of how strict parents are, when they become grandparents, they spoil and indulge in the way they never did before.

I've seen that happen before my very eyes.

My parents-in-law were strict with Packrat. They caned him, they restricted him, they made him work for what he wanted. My parents were the same. They were harsh with me, they scolded me when I fell down because I wasn't careful enough. If I didn't say please, I'd be considered rude and get told off and a hard earful about it. If we wanted something, we had to save for it.

Enter the grandchildren.

They become overprotective. They watch their every step. They worry about everything. If anything went wrong, they'd blame us the parents and scold us for it. If they could, they'd put their grandchildren into a bubble. So why?

Incident #1

Evan has an incredible knack for falling. He gets very excited, he runs very fast and sometimes, he trips and falls and bumps his head. So much so that he has quite the perpetual unicorn bud on his forehead. It's painful to watch but we let him fall. Of course, we don't encourage it, but we let him run and if he falls, he falls.

His grandparents, on the other hand, think that he should wear a helmet and knee pads. They think I should take him to see a neurologist because obviously, there is something wrong with his coordination. His grandparents think that he should not be allowed to run at all and if we send him to school, his teachers should be told to not let him run as well.

Incident #2

We go to the Marina Barrage as a family. The big open spaces and the long slope down to the ground is an attractive area for the kids to run about. Jordan takes off down slope, chuckling as gravity allows her to go faster than her little legs can carry. Of course, it is a recipe for disaster and three quarters way down and I'm actually pleased that she managed all that slope upright, she trips because she's half on the walk way, half on the grass verge. It's a bad fall because she scrapes her knee. I try to carry her back to where everyone else is so that I can clean it up with some wipes and water. But she has other ideas.

She takes off again, to finish up the bit of the slope that has not been covered. It doesn't occur to her that her knee hurts and it'll become stiff in a bit. Which it does and she trips and falls. Again. Scrapes the same knee. By this time, the grandparents are about. And shocked that I had actually allowed her to run off again after she scraped her knee. I got a lecture about how it was the time of day that she'd be tired and therefore more uncoordinated which then corresponded to her possibly falling more.

And how did I see the situation? She fell down. She picked herself up. She cried a bit. But was determined to finish what she had started. That, in my book was something to be proud of. And to stop her from doing that would have meant my sending her the message that it was okay to allow a little obstacle to thwart her, in whatever she was doing. Add to the fact that I was so proud of her for picking herself up, I wasn't going to stop her. If she was brave enough to go at it, why stand in her way?

Incident #3

Also at the Marina Barrage. During that week, it was quite windy. And we were on the roof garden of the barrage. The twins, being small for their age were swaying like bamboo in a storm. Nonetheless, they were having fun running about. While I was off chasing Jordan down the slope, Evan was with Packrat and his grandparents. By the time they caught up with the bruised knee one, Evan who had gone to the Barrage in a t-shirt with sleeves cut off, was by then dressed in not one, but TWO sleeveless t-shirts. His grandparents were concerned that the boy was going to catch a cold from the wind and one of our helpers was running along side Jordan trying to slip her into a long sleeved t-shirt that I had left in the bag. Of course, she was shoved aside by my little speed machine.

I think, both Packrat and I agree that as long as the children are not in mortal danger, they should be allowed to explore and learn and if that takes a little bit of falling and a couple of scrapes, why not? I have battle scars from my childhood that I'm quite proud of and I had a childhood that wasn't all that closely watched. Packrat thinks that grandparents have the prerogative to be protective. I guess I'm okay with it although it irritates me to have my son wearing two t-shirts or a towel under his shirt to soak up his perspiration. But at the end of the day, I guess it's because they love them so I can't fault them for that.

I can mock them and roll my eyes at them behind their back but I guess their intentions are good. Plus I guess I'm going to do that with the twins' children next time. What a scary thought! I just got over the 'being a parent' and 'being an adult' scary thought!


Technorati Tags: babies, grandparents

Read More

A video a day 7

The twins are great parrots. They copy everything we do. This means we need to watch our language and what we do around them. It's great because it's getting easier to get them to open their mouths, brush their teeth, lift their arms etc. We just do it and the little parrots just copy us to the best of their ability.

Packrat and I make it a point to read to them. They watch their grandparents read the paper at breakfast. Their grandma reads to them after their baths. So they're quite familiar with the action of reading. Recently, they've taken to 'reading' to us. They'll take any sort of material with words or print out of our hands- books, magazines, newspapers, slips of paper and babble away. And they'll do it with the finger on the page as if the finger is pointing to what they are reading.
They've been doing a swell job reading in both Jordannese and Evannese. No one gets them but there's no mistaking their attempt at reading.

If they're smart enough and have real words, they might be able to fool us even more. My brother used to know his books by heart and could point to the word and utter the corresponding sound all by rote. He couldn't read but he sure fooled a lot of people until a wise aunt flipped to the middle of the book and asked him to read. The little genius began his spiel and that's when he got found out. Otherwise, they might have enrolled him in Mensa. Haha.

Well, I don't know if my kids are that smart but right now, it is entertaining to watch them pretend, with the most intelligent look on their faces. But then again, I'm partial since I'm the Mommy.





Technorati Tags: babies, baby babble

Read More

A video a day 6

The twins fight over everything. It's a matter of possession. It doesn't matter if they have the exact same thing, they'll still fight over what each other has because that one is better. Jordan uses strength to get what she wants, Evan uses his teeth to keep what he has; he bites down hard on it, be it a book, a stool, every time he feels that what he has is in the danger of being taken away, his teeth chomp down. It often doesn't work and leaves me worried that Jordan will yank his teeth out as well. Thankfully it hasn't gotten to that.

Thankfully also, they have started to realise that bargaining sometimes works. I have something, you have something, how about I give you my something for yours...? It only works when whatever it is, isn't a treasured possession and a treasured possession is difficult to define. It could be a rubber band or a supermarket receipt or it could be their sleep toy or pacifier. It varies.

Anyway, woe is Mommy for not buying 2 of everything in the same design. I refuse to duplicate everything in the house because that's really just sending out the wrong message and I refuse to go the way of DVD stores that buy multiple copies for new releases and find myself stuck with the extra stuff when they tire of it and they will tire of it. So, the word they have learnt to hate is "Share" whether it is "Share Mommy" as in one gets one lap each and not shove one another out of the way, or "share the apple" or to "share _____" (insert name of toy). And the name of the game for me is to find worthy alternatives that are worth the same in terms of value. Like I said, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Thankfully, this time, it did. Evan had the watering can and Jordan was happy with a cup. It served the same purpose. Getting themselves soaked and occasionally watering the plants. They will be helpful domestically next time the way they are going- the love for sweeping, cleaning, taking out trash and watering the plants. Mayhaps I can pay them $0.20 to water the plants next time and clear the garden of dried leaves although judging by the way Jordan is going, she'll eat the dried leaves instead.




Technorati Tags: babies, chores, water

Read More

A video a day 5

When food is a constant battle, any time the kids enjoy their food, it is a time of celebration. They particularly enjoy grilled chicken. The day before this video was taken, they'd finished an entire drumette each and wanted to take one another's because that was obviously not enough. So, here, they are attacking a chicken thigh each.

Chicken means they probably wouldn't finish the rest of their food but I'm non-fussed. It also means that they're dirty and grubby and likely to wipe it on us, so a bath immediately after dinner is in order. I'd take a video of that, but I'd worry about what would become of the video once I put it up.

So I leave it at just the gleeful devouring of grilled fowl.

Read More

A video a day 4

This is really late because Youtube has decided that uploading my video wasn't on its "to do" list the last 3 days. It's been loading for 3 days and is still loading, so I've given up and resorted to using the blogger video function. In your face Youtube!

Anyway, someone told me I should start the kids on music lessons because it's good for them. So's eating brussel sprouts but you don't see me shoving it down their throats. Primarily also because I can't stand the stuff. The kids aren't averse to music but I wouldn't say they're musically inclined. My little niece dances every time she hears any sort of jingle. The twins are a bit more discerning. Only certain songs do they break out in dance. Other times, they just like it on, in the background. White noise.

But they do know how to make noise. They love banging at the piano. They love the muscial instrument set their aunt bought them. They love figuring out that when you bang certain things, the sounds are actually different. So, I have them, well, Jordan actually, discovering what you can do with a water scoop and a big metal basin. Evan was off on the side, trying to fit himself into a smaller basin, which is humourous all by itself.

Read More

A video a day 3

I grew up with two brothers who were much older than I was. Because of that, I thought everything they did, I could do. And possibly better. Who knew that because I was a girl, I couldn't pee standing up, I couldn't go to St Andrew's and I couldn't play rugby. It was also frowned upon when I ran outside barefooted, trekked through storm drains and fought with boys and not realising that I wasn't supposed to be doing all that.

Fortunately or unfortunately, despite those early years, I grew up disliking being in the sun for long periods of time, loathed being stuck dirty, would not be caught dead peeing anywhere that did not have paper and a flush and feeling abused if I didn't have access to beauty treatments.

At this point in time, my daughter resembles the earlier me. She loves mucking around rain water, drain water, dry sand, wet soil, grass, pebbles, basically anything that can be found in the garden or outside. 2 days ago, her grandmother flipped because she was crunching down on a dried leaf. Yesterday, our helper flipped because she was pretend drinking out of a cup that she used to dig up earth from the garden. Yes, she is quite at home with getting her hands dirty. I keep being nagged to stop it but I am reluctant to. Primarily because I spent much of my childhood outdoors and all the nagging of wearing footwear and being proper falling to deaf ears while now, those who nagged me then tsk at me now for having too many pairs of shoes and not being willing to go on vacation if accommodation wasn't at least 4 stars.



So at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if Baby J thinks the best thing in the world is to climb all over the place, pour water into sand and then stir it around with her finger and get her hands and feet streaked with gate grease while everyone else thinks she should be playing with tea sets. Because she'll grow out of it and when she does and is made fun of, at least she can categorically state that she's done more things than those making a big fuss out of it. I know I do. And I do it with great glee and pride.


Technorati Tags: babies, Botanic Gardens

Read More

A video a day 2

Grocery shopping is a big thrill for the twins. They go with us or they go with their grandparents. When they return, there are always tales to be shared. 2 days ago, an apple had to be bought because both of them did a Snow White on an apple to the point that by the time they got to the cashier, there was just a little bit more than the core left. And this was a sour green apple! The backs of my ears hurt just thinking about it.

At the same time, the twins are getting much more self-aware and are able to express their likes and dislikes quite resolutely. Evan on this occasion, has decided he likes the aroma of the Fruit and Nut loaf and one cannot fault his olfactory preferences because it did smell pretty darn good. But still, to see an 18 month old get so much joy from it makes the bread as yummy as walking past a bakery early in the morning does.

Read More

A video a day 1

Everyone seems full of glee at the fact that I am now a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM). There are some parts of it that I absolutely love. Being able to hang out with my kids when they are in the best of moods and skedaddling when it comes to feeding because that stresses me out and I refuse to get stressed out by it so that I won't stress them out about it.

What I dislike about it is the quiet low level hum of uneasiness I feel about not being salaried. It's uncomfortable, it's disconcerting and I get upset every time I break a fifty.

But the best bit has got to be me being around to catch the kids doing the funniest things. So, here's to 7 days of funny videos.



Call it the Cinderella complex, call it doggedness, call it sheer desperation to be out of the house knowing that the rule is that feet need to be covered outdoors, it is hilarious and amazing. Amazing because no matter how large the selected footwear is or how high, she doesn't fall or trip. On occasion, it gives out under her, especially in shoes this high, but she is unfazed and just keeps going.

Read More

Little School House

In the recent weeks, I have discovered, almost by accident an entire community of moms in Singapore who believe in homeschooling. And I am filled with great admiration at the dedication and commitment they put in to not go with the flow and to not be caught up with grades, over- achievements and competition not between the kids but between the parents.

People I tell about this inadvertently ask me if it inspires me to do the same. In one word...No. Not because I don't believe in it but because I know my limits and I know that I'm good at spending pockets of time with my kids but I can't spend 24-7 with them trying to come up with things to stimulate them. Someone once told me that it took her a year to be able to accept that it was ok for her kid to not be doing anything. That she didn't need to make a lesson out of everything. I haven't gotten to that point yet. Well, I do leave the twins to do a lot of nothing but I haven't gotten round to not feel guilty yet. And at the same time, I don't have natural patience. Ironic that I am a teacher but I really don't have the ability to be repetitive and that's how children learn. Even when I was teaching, I hated repeating myself even though I had to out of necessity and professional obligation. I don't want my children to get the short end of the straw because I just didn't have enough patience to do what needed to be done or because I was shallow enough to want to go to the spa and get my nails done rather than come up with something for them to do. So I'm being honest, while I would like to be able to give my kids the best, the most fun, the most creative and the most beneficial intellectual experience, I don't think I'm up to it. Like I said, I can do it in pockets, but ask me to do it all hours of the day and with every single thing I do, I may be worse than sending them to school. Or I'd get a nervous breakdown from it.

But at the same time, I would like to keep myself from falling victim to the Crazy Parent Syndrome that most parents in Singapore are wont to. Moms are amazed that I don't know what Shichida is, that I frown at Glenn Doman (possibly because I am lazy) and I hate what Kumon represents. I know that there is always the danger that I could become one of them. I am a naturally competitive person. You can't be an athlete without it and you don't win races by being blase. And it's important that I don't channel my competitiveness negatively into my children. Some element of competition I guess is necessary. I think being totally chill could possibly be dire but once again, I'm coloured by being naturally competitive and being a product of our education system.

And it is this, that I am a product of our education system and now a sometimes unwilling perpetrator of it that causes me to think the way I do. I would like my children to go to school, because socially I had some very fun adventures in school, even though I think I had more horrendous, emotionally scarring ones. I would also like them to go to school because when it was there that I eventually found my friends and like-minded people. But I don't want them to come home with worksheets everyday (I used to hide mine under the couch, in the hope that my mother would not notice). I don't want them to be told they had to read but not given the time and opportunity to. I don't want them obsessing about physics when they would never ever use theoretical physics again after sitting for the exam. And I particularly don't want them to come home in tears because they were made to feel like failures because they didn't top the standard in what ever subject they were doing. And yes, this is me chanelling my experiences.

So the happy median? I don't know. Probably not homeschooling, although while I'm home, I plan to try to show them stuff and muck around, constructively and nonconstructively. I just know I don't want to start them on the wrong foot and send them to a place where they will be literally be forced to learn how to write before they know what drawing is all about. And while I do that, I will do my best at home to show them things, like how dough squishes in their hands, like how different it is to have wet and dry sand to play with. What hot is and what cold is. And to allow them to figure out what a snail is by trying to dig it out of its shell, although eventually I took it away from Baby J because I felt sorry for the snail. And I promise not to introduce the word "study" into their vocabulary until it is necessary. It is absolutely unnecessary to be studying flashcards at this age. At any age actually. Well, maybe when you're in med school and that's the only way to learn anatomy or physiology. But that's another battle for another day, somewhere far far down the road if they so choose to want to go to med school.



Technorati Tags: babies, homeschooling

Read More

Soup Spoon

The battle of the wills continue, especially with Baby J though I've learnt to get round it by feeding the girl in two parts. First, at her designated high chair, to make it a point that she needed to sit at her place at the table and then the rest in the sink when she got fidgety and had her initial fill. I think I've talked about it before but Baby J eats to just not be hungry rather than eat to be full. So, once she's not hungry, it's hard to keep her seated in her seat. The sink's a great place to feed her because of the mess she inadvertently makes especially if she chooses to method act bulimia.

I've figured out that the girl doesn't like huge chunks of meat, so invisible slivers are fine as are vegetables that are finely minced and don't irritate her gag reflex. The girl is also Mommy's girl because she loves her soup. Any sort of soup.

Last evening, her adoring Grandfather made cream of mushroom soup from scratch and far be it for me to reject food on her behalf, I let Baby J and Evan have supper even though they were bathed and their teeth had been brushed. Here she is, being all adult, eating at the table on our chair, from our crockery and cutlery and nodding her assent and approval at the taste of the soup.



And this was towards the end when she already had her fill but was still going at it like Goldilocks and the bowl of porridge. We love these moments because she seems so grown up, far beyond her 18 months and while she spooned a lot of soup onto the table and herself, she managed to also get quite a lot into her mouth. Now, where was Evan while all this shennanigans was happening? He was happily slurping the soup at the back too. It wasn't his minute in the spot light and he was just happy with food. I was happy because it was cream soup, made with milk and the boy, still not drinking milk in the day was getting an extra dose of calcium.

So, it was quite a win win situation. Ironically, Mommy didn't drink the soup. Cream soups, unless fake ones that come out of the Campbells tin are just a bit much for my gag reflex.


Technorati Tags: babies, feeding, asserting independence

Read More

First day no go.

The twins were supposed to start school today. I spent the weekend in an anxious flurry, about whether I should actually send them, them being so young, second guessing our decision to do so coupled with trying to get their things organised for them to go. This meant labelling their bottles, getting name tags done for their school bags, which incidentally look larger than they are.

It all came to naught though because last night, Jordan's drippy nose developed into a full blown congested, wheezing cold which evolved into a fever, a phlegmy cough and a drippy nose that could rival a crack user. And because Evan shares the same room with her and occasionally puts things like Baby J's pacifier into his mouth just to get a rise out of her, he has a drippy nose too. I just hope his won't develop into a full blown thing like hers.

It's ironic really. We decided to send them to playgroup so that they have time to build up their immunity whilst I was on leave. Once again, the irony doesn't escape me. Send them to school now that I'm on leave? That must be a mistake because it does not make sense. But this is how I saw it. When I was at work, I dreaded (over the regular amount of dread a mother feels about her child falling sick) the kids falling ill because it meant total and utter exhaustion for me. While I was at work, I subsisted on 4 hours of sleep on a good night and that had to get me through being on my feet, being intellectually coherent and alert enough to make sense and intimidate a whole bunch of 18 year olds into thinking that they knew nothing compared to me and therefore had a lot of catching up to do in terms of smarts. When the twins got sick, that 4 hours whittled into 2 hours if I was lucky and I could only do that much, running on fumes. That was when I would catch myself falling asleep in mid-sentence, blanking out, unsure of what I had just said or fall asleep walking and catch myself just before I was about to trip and take a tumble down the stairs. And all this while the twins existed in a bubble called home.

Everyone warned of how when the kids first started school, they would fall sick a lot as their -until that point kept in a glass jar -immune systems got a load of the germ and toxic loaded air around us. And I would marvel at how 4 hours of sleep could be luxurious. I would also be amazed at the number of germs out there that would make them sick and render them needing Mommy in the middle of the night. I couldn't imagine doing that on a more regular basis than I did last year and work at the same time. So, how to get round it? Send them to playschool at a time when I didn't have to be answerable to anyone else except my husband and my kids, in theory because I'm still answerable to alot of people I don't want to be answerable to, but that's beside the point.

So, now that they've turned 18 months, although I admit that's still abit young, and I'm on leave, it feels like the best time. But part of me was loath to let them go because sending them meant couple of hours in the morning, nap when they got home and that would be a better part of the day gone and when would they play? Although Packrat pointed out, quite rightly that it was PLAYschool where they would PLAY with toys they didn't have at home and make a mess of things that we didn't have to clean up.

That's the other thing. We've been asked about the type of school we're sending them to. When we started hunting for schools, we had a certain criteria we'd check off. The programme needed to provide the children fun experiences that were varied. I'm not sending them to school to do things I could do with them easily. The school needed to take creativity seriously. Once again, oxymoron, but true. I didn't want somewhere that paid lip service to creativity and spent all its times drilling the kids on the alphabet and their multiplication tables or something. For me, if possible, I didn't want to put them some place they needed uniforms since they'd be spending a large part of their lives in uniform and my theory is why start them doing something now that they'll have no choice but to spend the rest of their young lives doing. Once again, going back to the varied experience thing.

The easiest route and the one that seems to attract the most number of parents is the one that promises geniuses out of their kids even if their kids are 18 months old. That fortunately for my kids, and unfortunately for the playschools, is not on my check list. In fact, it's on my - stay away from- list. Unfortunately, these are the cheaper playschools, the more affordable ones, the ones that have the most government funding or whatever. I guess, if you tow the party line, it does become much cheaper. Be the renegade and you and those who want to go that way, have to pay a little bit more.

Now, there's irony for you or not.


Technorati Tags: babies, playschool, sickness, education

Read More

Breastfeeding woes

Breastfeeding is one of those issues that gets lots of attention. It gets people riled up. It is an issue that polarises society and brings out the nazi in people. If you don't do it, you get crucified, if you do it, you get frowned upon if you do it outside the expected parameters. So it's a dicey issue that's once again caused a furore and this time on Facebook. This time it's got to do with photographs of moms breastfeeding. It's apparently obscene.

But so were those who chose to breastfeed in public. They violate other people's sensitivities and misguided propriety. And from what I know and have done, when we nurse in public, we do it discreetly, we don't go about flashing our whole boob. Plus how is it a sexual thing, when the boob is mapped with green veins and generally doesn't look how boobs are sensationalised to look?

It's down right annoying that such a big deal is made about breastfeeding, either way. I feel sorry for moms who can't breastfeed because they are cast into the role of the uncaring, selfish mom who isn't giving the best she can to the kid. I remember being chided about putting Baby J on the bottle, for giving Evan the occasional bottle of formula, for letting Packrat feed them through the bottle and so on. It didn't matter that it helped me in terms of sanity and sore nipples and Packrat in terms of bonding. Then I remember being chided for not giving my kids enough nutrition because breastmilk is very 'thin', because formula is more filling and formula fed babies are bigger and healthier. This was because my children are at best on the 50th percentile for their age and weight. For hogging space in the freezer and being pressured to stop nursing because I had the 'happy' problem of having enough milk to store. Of course, there was also the freeriders. Moms who wanted the breastmilk without doing the actual feeding. I was happy to give away some milk to those who needed it but there, once again, were people who were either very supportive or down right selfish and calculative.

So, yes, breastfeeding, one of those things that cannot just be part of life. Whatever it is, breast milk is food for a child. And it's basic sustenance. It's not foie gras grade. And unless we force feed moms the way ducks and geese are force fed, I don't see what the issue is.

Incidentally, for those curious, yes, I'm still breastfeeding. For various reasons. The primary reason, I don't really know how to stop. Well, I do in theory, but I can't bring myself to do it in practice. Then, there's the cost. One tin of formula costs just under $30. It apparently lasts about a week for a child. That means, in a month, I'm going to use about 4 tins, multiply that 2 kids, that's $240 a month, just on formula alone. There's also the issue of how Evan hates the taste of formula. Would rather starve than drink formula. And the case of how Jordan lifts my top to look for my boob, although for her, it's a comfort thing. She does it to feel close to me, I know that because she throws her arms round my neck while she feeds. And since, I'm not going to be at work for the next few months, I thought why the heck not? Although, like I said, breastfeeding is an issue that polarises the crowd and there are people that have said less than pleasant things about my decision. Well, I'm not answerable to them. I'm not flaunting my boobs, though on occasion, I accidentally flash a bus driver or a truck because I express in the car. But even then, I'm pretty covered up and if they actually look, they'll need some IQ to figure out the contraption stuck to my chest. So, I think I'm pretty safe there. Hopefully.

But for those on FB, put it up, don't put it up, it should be their choice. I wouldn't put up photos of me nursing but that's just because I have more fun photos to put up. And I'd rather put those up. But if other people did, why are we complaining? We put up pics of obscene amounts of food, all the time. Why not a mom breastfeeding? There's nothing sexual or obscene (in fact, I find people who find breastfeeding obscene offensive, but that's another story) about it. And if someone found it disturbing because it was sexual, then that person should get his head checked for rocks.

If not, leave the mommies alone! That's all we want, really.

Technorati Tags: babies, breastfeeding, Facebook,

Read More

Fare Thee Well

2008 will be remembered as the kids' first year and therefore there have been many firsts for us, both good and bad.

Good Firsts.

1. We took them on vacation the for the very first time and are now dreaming of taking them further and more exotic. Actually more temperate. But we need more reinforcements. 2 parents and 2 kids will mean nothing much gets done. Anyone want to go on vacation?
   
2. The twins learnt how to walk, run and show how much they love their parents and all around them. What else can one ask to come home to?
3. Both Packrat and I have officially crossed from the Pre-PTSD Zone to the We are No Longer Afraid of Our Kids Zone. That said, it doesn't mean we're hankering to have another kid.
   
4. We have discovered that we don't really need domestic helpers to help us care for our children. We have done it on our own and on occasion, I've done it on my own although mealtimes are still a little bit of a problem. But it's a great revelation because we always thought we'd be stuck without a helper. Turns out, everyone else was right. When the occasion calls for it, we WILL rise to it.
5. We are slowly teaching the twins to speak with hilarious outcomes that easily become the highlight of the day. Two days ago, we taught Baby J to string together a 3 word sentence. Of course, there weren't auxillary verbs, 1st person pronouns of any sort but still, "Papa ball please" is quite impressive.
   

Bad Firsts.

1. We learnt first hand that domestic help can create trouble fit for soap operas. And because of that, we learnt how to fire employees. By extension of that, we learnt how to be parents first and humans second.
   
2. We spent early mornings in Paediatrics Emergency Wards. Not something any parent wants to ever have to go through.
   
3. Our kids have learnt to fight.
   
4. Our kids' carers show obvious preferences for one child over another.
   
5. Baby J has learnt fear. She is no officially afraid of dogs, cats, lizards, spiders, fruit flies, flies, pirates and the list grows longer everyday.

Thankfully the list of Bad stuff is mostly inconsequential and we thank God for protecting us and our brood through the year and we pray for more blessings in the year to come.

Happy New Year everyone!


Technorati Tags: babies, New Year

Read More