Don't Put All Your Diapers Into One Diaper Bag

Geekness

2012-01-29T07:22:00.004+08:00

Just as Jordan is developing her artisitc, expressive side, Evan is developing his vast knowledge of all sorts of information. It started with distinguishing between Chinooks and Apaches and then the various types of Volkswagon cars. That progressed to identifying cars by their badges. Now, his knowledge in some ways is very specific, countries, flags that sort of them but at the same time, also very random.

The randomness comes from the stuff he picks up from watching television.

For the record, I hate that they watch so much television and they watch full length movies. But I can't help it. Packrat, on the weekends, has them alone and rather than chase 3 kids round the house, he watches movies with them. He makes it an entire experience, popping corn with them and cuddling up to them on the couch. It is his love and it is him sharing his love with the children.

No doubt it makes them bug eyed but it really isn't something I can fight so I just go with it.

Plus I see how much language they've picked up from it, albeit in strange American and British accents. Jordan's previous description of the Big Bad Mouse complete with the British accent was from the BBC animation. Evan however, has acquired very boy knowledge.

His favourite movie at this time is How to Train a Dragon. In it, there are different dragons that do different things and are lethal in different ways. The boy is able to spout all that information at the slightest association. So we drive down the street and see a truck with portable gas tanks in the back. And Evan will immediately chime in about how the Zippleback breathes out green gas and chokes its victims to death.

What entertains me the most about what he has picked up from watching television is the ability to imitate sound effects. So watching him fly his planes and crash his matchbox cars also includes listening to sound effects of cars crashing, speeding ahead, planes zooming up in the sky and occasionally crashing. All this can be discerned quite onomatopoeically.

The most stunning moment to date. Playing with two planes and making them almost crash (all this I hear rather than see because I am in the next room doing something else), suddenly this loud voice hollers "Disengage! Disengage! You're going to crash!"

My 4 1/2 year old son knows how to use the word "disengage" in an aerial dogfight? Has he been watching Top Gun in the middle of the night? I am later informed that it comes from the Incredibles.

Packrat thinks this boy will have a lot of "geek cred". I don't know about that since I wasn't really ever a geek. So I am going to trust the "geek" dad on that.

Technorati Tags: twins, television, How to Train a Dragon, The Incredibles

Performing Arts

2012-01-26T12:33:00.002+08:00

Slowly but surely, the distinct gifts or areas of interest of the 3 children are becoming clear.
Jordan is the artist. She draws, she sings, she dances and now, we've discovered, she can dramatise too.
Evan is the geek (and I mean this as a compliment). He loves tech, he loves figuring out how things work and machinery.
Muffin is the jock. Child of few words but can outrun his siblings and climb faster and higher than the both of them. The only thing that seems incompatible with his inherent jock-ness is his love for books and puzzles.

A parent of teenagers told me that I should nurture their interests and catch it at an early age. We are trying to but in a way that doesn't kill it for them. So we let Muffin climb, if he wants to (provided someone is there to break his fall if he does), Jordan draw/sing/dance/play act if she wants to and Evan watch the cogs turn at our MRT station's escalotor or examine the pulley system of our lift shaft if he wants to.

On our part, we try to record the interesting bits so that we won't forget and they can look back at it and figure out where it all began.

One of our favourite writers is Julia Donaldson. Ever since Olie bought the twins The Gruffalo, we haven't looked back. Packrat makes their reading experience multimedia and will hunt down the relevant videos. So, the video that the children watch on a loop now is the Gruffalo's Child and Jordan has seen it enough times and heard the story enough times to internalise parts.

Here she is describing the Big Bad Mouse from the Gruffalo's Child and even though she doesn't get all the words correct, it is very cool.

Send her to speech and drama? Don't know. If she asks, maybe. If she doesn't, she can just channel whichever characters she wants to at home.

Technorati Tags: twins, The Gruffalo's Child

The more we get together

2012-01-24T11:03:00.000+08:00

Thank goodness Chinese New Year is only once a year because all the travelling that is done on the first day of the new year is just down right exhausting.

There was so much travelling.

It went along the lines of going first to Ah Ma's house, then to Mama's house for lunch, back to Ah Ma's house to see the remaining relatives there, off to see my oldest paternal uncle, back to Ah Ma's for dinner and then back out to have dinner with Packrat's Tan clan.

By the end of it all, I couldn't remember who gave which red packets and had lost count on the number of oranges we had exchanged. The day passed in a blur the same way it did when I got married.

I used to hate Chinese New Year for this very reason. But now, I look back at the non-kid CNY days and think that those days were a breeze compared to now.

What did however stand out in all the blur was the fact that the children were old enough to enjoy the visiting and the playing with the cousins every where they went. Thankfully, collecting ang pows aren't a big thing for them yet, but finding peers to much around with, from chasing each other in the garden to forming human pyramids, they had a rocking good time.

The Ng-Tan girls were also chuffed to all be dressed up similarly as Little Nonyas with both mommies joining in the fun. It was good fun and made for good photographs.

If there is anything memorable about Chinese New Year, it is that. The children, discovering the joy of get-togethers and not realising how exhausted their parents are from all the running around.

Having said that, they were pretty flat out too and whispered to us as they were rapidly losing consciousness that they wanted tomorrow to be Chinese New Year too.

To that, both Packrat and I had the same thought. That we were thankful it was only once a year!

Technorati Tags: pre-schooler, Chinese New Year

School

2012-01-14T23:39:00.004+08:00

The new academic year has begun. Everyone is back in school, except me. This time, even Muffin.

Like the twins, I decided to send him to school early. We want him to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him and that he cannot get away with smacking and beating everyone who doesn't give in to him. Currently, that is what he does with his siblings.

So, off to a nearby childcare he goes.

There are the expected tears. With that, came the expected guilt. Even though this wasn't my first time, the crying still got to me. And it took all my effort to walk away from my child who was crying desperately for me. 2 weeks in, he still cries but not so much and from the teachers' reports, he is quite happy there.

It is a family effort to get him to school; not because he is difficult and refuses to go but because it is just too much for me to take him by bus and carry him and his accompanying paraphernalia. Thankfully, the twins volunteer to come along and each of them help carry a bag while I concentrate on heaving my little Muffin to school.

His favourite part of school? The playground where he scares the teachers by going down the slide meant for the kinder children.

My favourite part of his school routine? The fact that he lies down quietly and falls asleep nary a fuss. He doesn't do this at home. In fact, it is the opposite. He climbs, he disturbs everyone and the general peace.

At the same time, the twins are back at the same school. Unlike the past 2 years where we've had to move them every year, they are actually in for the long haul in this kindergarten. They seem happy to go back except their teachers and classmates are different.

What stresses me out about this year?
That they are in K1 and there is increased rumblings of increased academic pressure from school in the form of homework and other expectations. Inevitably, that pressure translates to me being stressed because I am the one that ends up teaching them all they need to know from penmanship to phonics, numbers to Chinese proverbs and idioms that I have surreptitiously photograph and send to friends to find out how to read .

What do I do? Now that everyone is in school? It sounds like it gives me a lot of time but this hasn't been the case. In the time that they are in school, I rush to do my groceries and other important errands. There hasn't really been time for facials, manicures and pedicures or fitness classes, unfortunately. Most un-tai tai.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, school

Bye 2011

2012-01-07T15:42:00.000+08:00

2011 whizzed by in a blur. Much of my life is a blur of sleeplessness, sickness and screaming kids. Granted the screaming kids don't scream as much now but when they do, it does feel like it will never stop. But it has been a good year and I have much to be thankful for. I am going to come up with 11 things for 2011.

1. The children and Packrat got sick, much less.

I spend a fortune on vitamins for them and make sure they take their vitamin concoction without fail, every morning. Even Muffin has started the regimen. I complain about how much it costs but Packrat assures me that their getting sick would cost much more. He too, seems to be much less ill, for which I am thankful for. I shove vitamins down his throat too. Without me, he would forget. Whatever works!

2. I finally gathered up the guts to resign.

Since the birth of the twins, I've been humming and hawing. I've been on No Pay Leave because I'm entitled to it. But I've finally taken a deep breath, shut my eyes and said "I'm resigning... despite your holding my bonuses!" Well, I didn't say the latter out loud but I did think it.

3. Muffin is a big boy now.

The little one holds his own against his siblings. He fights with them, he laughs with them, he cuddles them and kisses them. In short, he loves them and he has learnt to be fearless with them around. He climbs, jumps and runs like a 4 1/2 year old because of them. As a result, he is growing up far too quickly.

4. We went on 2 holidays with the children.

One short one in June to Phuket where we survived with all 3 kids and no help and the seriously long extended one that we just came home from. Shared experiences and loads of memories that the twins still bring up. The ship is their favourite topic of conversation. Of course, now they think America is round the corner and we can pop by anytime we want.

5. New job
Packrat started a new job and is doing wonderfully. He loves what he does and hopefully he grows further this year.

6. Exercising together.
Ever since I got a pair of running shoes for my birthday, I've been trying to run with Packrat. We also did some pilates together and realised how much we missed exercising together. Perhaps more to look forward to this year.

7. The children have a routine.
I'm such a stickler for routine. When we were on holiday, at the back of my mind, I was stressed because all semblances of routine were thrown out the window. But generally, they now have some idea of what to expect in the day and it makes things easier. Of course, there are times when they try to go against the routine and incur the wrath of a pissed off mom.

8. Enrichment classes loom
Not so much because we feel the need to send them for extra stuff, although Chinese was something both Packrat and I decided was necessary, we have started the twins on doing other stuff apart from going to school. Having said that, much of it is offered by school and blissfully for us, extends their school day. So our home is filled with their artwork, Jordan puts on an entirely pink get-up on Saturday for ballet and all 3 kids embrace their inner water baby by splashing around the pool (Muffin) and learning proper strokes (the older two). It hasn't made them supremely clever or anything but it has exposed them and given them a great deal more confidence and outlets of expression.

9. Jordan learns to draw
She draws on anything, parking coupons, serviettes, slips of paper, cardboard and glass. Anything that will allow ink to show through. Her favourite objects to draw are mermaids and princesses, gardens, trees and flowers. Her latest was to replicate a fish tank we got a Christmas and she did a pretty darn good job of it. The most impressive, which I wish we kept, was the replica of a scene from a performance we saw on the ship. It had people flying around and dancing and she managed to capture the essence of all of it.

10. Evan learns to read.
Both of them are picking up the rudiments of reading and blending words. While Jordan can draw, Evan can read. Both in English and Chinese, he picks up fast and has a marvellous memory that helps him along. I tell them I cannot wait for the day that they can read me a story.

11. Muffin can speak.
I constantly fear, hearing parents around me talk about slow speech development and learning disabilities, that my children will encounter the same things. Muffin has picked up words much later than his siblings. I do however know that it is because most of his cognitive capacity was geared toward him learning to jump, climb and run like a 4 year old. But he has in the recent months picked up a slew of words so that he can make himself understood and also gives us insight into what goes on in that funny head of his. "Cow....moooo.... Duck.... quack quack... Chicken... UHM!"

Hopefully 2012 will top this and at the end of this year I have more than 12 things I can talk about.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, 2011, family

Favourite bits of the trip 3- Bizarre Moments

2011-12-28T09:09:00.005+08:00

This will mark the end of my series of vacation posts. Partly because my MacBook is objecting to the 2000 photos I've tried to force onto it and partly because I need to move on. Every time I look at the photos and think about what to blog about, I feel sad that I am no longer on vacation and no longer in the US. So I have to stop reminiscing.

This one is the miscellaneous post. About nothing in particular but funny moments that we don't want to forget.

Top of the list would be the giant turkey leg.

1. A most definitely genetically modified turkey leg- Last year when Packrat and I were at Anaheim, we saw all these people eat giant turkey legs. We didn't buy it then because it was inconceivable for just us to eat the obviously genetically modified fowl leg by ourselves. This year, with more mouths, Packrat decided to attempt it. And Jordan was his most game helper. She whose Native American name could be Jordan-Small Meals- Tan.

2. Nationalistic Jordan- Then there was the whole pomp and pageantry of the lowering of the American flag at Magic Kingdom. The Main Street Band plays, they get a veteran to receive the flag. All pomp. It was great to watch but for Jordan, it wasn't much fun and she had more fun making friends. What floored us was the fact that even though she had never heard the Star Spangled Banner or America, the Beautiful before, she knew it was a patriotic and nationalistic event of sorts. The little American girl beside her was belting out America, the Beautiful and Little Miss Singapore turns to her and responds with "One People, One Nation, One Singapore"

3. Klepto- Jordan- My little girl is a little shoplifter though I mean it in the nicest of ways. She loves collecting brochures and maps and till San Francisco, all the stuff she collected was free information. Unfortunately, at Pier 39, she also took from a row of maps that were on sale. So, we're set on going to New York for one of our next holidays because we now have a map of Manhattan that costs $6.99 plus tax.

4. Scary American women shoppers- On board the ship, I encountered scary American women shoppers. They are much louder, more vocal and more likely to use violence if crossed. They are also less willing to tolerate any sort of impartial behaviour so they yell at security if there even seems a likelihood that security is going to let someone else jump the queue. All this I discovered standing in line, in the middle of a fake park on the 8th deck of the ship for a one hour flash sale at Coach even though I had no intention of buying anything.

5. Guerilla shopping- I Facebooked before I came back that I wasn't ready to leave the US because I hadn't been to Ghiradelli Square and I hadn't been to Sephora. When people ask if I shopped, I reply yes but the shopping was guerrilla shopping. On the go shopping, see-convert-take-buy. Even though I did hit the outlet malls, I didn't get to spend the day leisurely walking around. Of the hundreds of stores at the outlets, I saw a handful. A Kate Spade (obviously), a Tod's, an Easy Spirit (because I needed boots), a Banana Republic and a Gap. Oh, and a Disney store. This was unlike last year where we spent a good 3 days combing through the mall, literally leaving no store unturned.

So, the irony of it all was that despite not really having dedicated shopping time and feeling that I didn't do my retail addiction any justice, 12 people went with 11 pieces of luggage and came home with 28 pieces. We had a luggage train at the airport. Thankfully, 5 pieces being car seats weren't counted into the total and we were still under what we were allocated. That and the staff took pity on us having 5 sleeping children and allowed us to check in all unnecessary cabin carry too.

There are other bizarre moments I am certain but these I shall record first and add the rest on when my brain isn't so boggled by things to do.

Technorati Tags: The United States, Disney, Vacation

Favourite bits of the trip 2- Disney World

2011-12-27T14:24:00.004+08:00

Jordan's favourite part of our trip, even though she doesn't talk about it in the same way Evan does, was Disney. More accurately, meeting, greeting and hugging all the Princesses. Our daughter is a hugger. She hugs. Everyone.

Anyway, in Orlando, there are 4 Disney parks and a whole array of other parks that we didn't have time to visit. Of the 4, we visited 3 and we can say with great certainty that if there are kids under 6 involved, skip Epcot. Epcot is like Disney's Science Centre. And the twins were bored. There was too little for them to do because they were so young and short (most of Disney is governed by a height limit).

What was a hit was Disney Hollywood Studios which was fun and where the kids could go on Star Wars rides and train to be Jedi and Magic Kingdom which lived up to its name at being magical.

Anyway, Jordan's favourite part was the Princesses. And her favourite princess, Rapunzel from Tangled. What was interesting was that she wasn't just spellbound. She was intent. Intent on presenting Rapunzel with a colouring, she is a picture of concentration and focus even as we beckon her to join the queue. The only thing that broke her concentration for a split second was when Rapunzel skipped out then she returned to colouring with more ferocity, worrying that she wouldn't finish in time to present it as a gift.

She does and the relief is immense.

We would have liked to say that while Jordan loved her princesses, Evan enjoyed the Star Wars stuff and enjoyed the Jedi Avademy. Unfortunately, the pictures we have were of bravado. My young Padawans were only Padawans for as long as Darth Vader didn't appear. Once the Sith Lord appeared, ran helter skelter my younglings did.

Our mistake was that we had never shown them any Star Wars prior to the trip so they were in no way sensitised to Darth Vader.

This did not stop Packrat from building each of them a light saber and the "Voong Voong Voong" sound was a big hit.

And obviously, the rides were a hit. It's a Small World, spinning dizzifying Tea Cups, Flying Carpets and Dumbo and the car tracks where they got to actually drive cars subjecting us to diesel fumes and the high pitch whine of bumper cars.

Packrat and my vote of what was the best part of Disney was Magic Kingdom. It suckered us, hook, line and sinker. It was indeed magical and we went back a second day and were tempted to buy everything in the stores ( For the record, we didn't).

Technorati Tags: twins, Disney World, Magic Kingdom

Reading

2011-12-23T18:47:00.002+08:00

One of our favourite videos of Jordan is of her about 21 months or so pretending to read. She has no real words but she has wonderful intonations and expressions.

She still loves pretending to tell stories although much more coherent at this point.

Funnily enough, Muffin is doing the same thing at about the same age. While he doesn't have the same variety of intonation, it is still funny and funnier still that he, like his sister ends off with a resounding "UHM!"

It must be a common word in our household for both of them to have the same words in their unintelligble speech.

Pity we don't have one of Evan.

Technorati Tags: toddlers, reading

Kin

2011-12-23T09:17:00.001+08:00

One thing that was very clear during our 24 day vacation in the US was that the cousins had a great time together. The immediate Tan cousins as well as their little cousin who lives in San Francisco.

It warmed our hearts to see them play together and amused us to watch the dynamics form between them.

1. Jordan loved looking after her little girl cousin, Ler.

2. Evan would move mountains to give Ler what she wanted when he wouldn't budge an inch with Muffin.
3. Jordan and Evan gang up against their eldest cousin, Ning.

4. Ning would then seek alliance with Jordan against Evan, telling him he is a cry baby.

5. Evan would ally himself with Ning when he was pissed off with Jordan and they would hide her precious magic markers.
6. Nathan, their little SF cousin had only eyes for Ning and would follow her puppy dog fashion.

7. Muffin and Ler would ally themselves against the world. Perhaps, they knew they were the tiniest and they would constantly call each other, tell each other's parents that the other was crying or upset. Muffin would pick up Ler's pacifier and stick it back in her mouth when she lost it.

I have great memories about travelling with my cousin and staying over at her house during the holidays. Packrat has the same memories too and it is our wish that our children and their cousins would grow the same memories as they grow up.

Technorati Tags: twins, cousins

Favourite bits of the trip 1- The Caribbean Cruise

2011-12-19T21:20:00.010+08:00

Each child has a different take on what was the best part of our four-leg USA trip. That being said, I could probably only record two because Muffin is only semi-verbal and I think if you asked him, his favourite bit wasn't geographic as it was people based. I think for Muffin, his favourite bit was being able to limpet himself onto me.

Anyway, according to Evan, his favourite place was the boat. So we will start with the boat. Technically not a boat, but an almost 300 000 tonne ship with 17 decks.

Why did Evan like it?

He claims he liked the room. We didn't because 5 people in a cabin was a bit of a squeeze but he still talks about it. I suspect it is the balcony where they sit for long periods watching the waves and clowning around.

But it could also be that we had a great housekeeper who would surprise the children each night when he came in to turn down the beds, leaving them surprises such as Duck Duck and Ele watching television, Duck Duck or Ele donning my shades etc.

It could also be the wave pools that turned out to really be wave pools on our last day at sea when the winds were so bad, the pools were empty and the deck chairs were double chained to the rails.

Did Jordan like the ship?

Yes she did. She loved meeting and greeting characters. She loved the pool even though the winds combined with the non-heated pools turned her lips blue. She loved climbing up and down the deck chairs at dusk when no one was around and the carousel where she could choose which steed she wanted to be on. By the end of the trip, she was very good at sassy posing, with characters and pirates all the same!

Muffin, on the other hand was probably the least impressed but we really don't know. We do suspect he was seasick a lot of the time because he threw up a lot. And very publicly at that. At the formal dining room, outside our room on the corridor and in the room itself numerous time. All this throwing up made us very appreciate of our stateroom attendant and he got a great big tip from us; for cleaning up puke and surprising the kids every evening.

Did we like the cruise?

Yes. It had the first Starbucks on the Seas which meant I got Passion Tea Lemonades anytime I wanted. And we could order supper and have it on our balcony when all was asleep on the kid front. We also loved how crazy the wind was even though it was a little bit too cold for me to even stick a toe into the pool. I sat, primly wrapped in a sweater on the pool deck watching my kids. Only a drowning kid would have motivated me into the water!

As parents, we liked that the kids were safe. Well, as safe as they could be 16 decks above sea level on the high seas. As a couple with kids, we liked that after the kids passed out from the many activities onboard, we could slip out to the Comedy Club where jokes were adult and irreverent or just take a walk with stuff 24 hours.

But was there anything we didn't like?
The seasickness that came with being on a ship in open seas, regardless of how huge the vessel was. The fact that the kids' club sucked eggs and we couldn't keep the kids there for more than half a day.

Apart from that, Evan was right. The ship was great. Just more Dramamine next time. If there will be a next time.

Technorati Tags: twins, Cruise, Bahamas

Great Tan Vacation I

2011-12-09T12:48:00.004+08:00

The radio silence for the past two weeks has not been of my doing. Being in the middle of the Caribbean is as far away from civilisation as it gets and satellite phones on the ship cost $6.95 a minute and as one stand up comedian on the ship said, it would be easier and cheaper to get a 1900 girl to relay a message to our family than to call direct. Also wifi was $0.65 a minute so I just had to accept that I had no wifi connection, no Facebook and no access to the Cyber Monday sales even though I was in the USA.

The last 2 and a 1/2 weeks have been crazy and I have been grumpy for much of it because I am a full time maid to the 3 kids and moving destinations every couple of days means packing for the entire family every couple of days. I would like to not pack for a long time after this vacation, thank you very much.

There are currently no photographs to upload because the wifi access I have is limited to one device and we wisely decided it would be the lap top because that made the most sense. So no photographs from my phone can be uploaded unfortunately.

At the point, we have spent 3 days in San Francisco where we had our first real American Thanksgiving, 2 days in Fort Lauderdale where we were actually meant to check into a real crack house that looked like something out of CSI, a cruise right into the Caribbean where we visited the Bahamas and various Virgin Islands which made me realise a girl's first useful Geography lesson comes from watching Miss Universe pageants because my sister-in-law and I pwned the boys when it came to naming the islands and pronouncing them all with the appropriate accents. And now, 5 days in Orlando where we have seen nothing else but Disney parks (Epcot was a damn big cop out and still puts me in a bad mood to think about the wasted day), supermarkets and one outlet mall (thankfully!).

We are returning to Magic Kingdom because by far it really the most magical and we should have just spent all our time there. The kids have been thrilled and wiped out by the end of the day. Evan has missed dinner two nights in a row and Jordan three because by 5 or 6 pm, they have given up and passed out for the night. It makes the nights easier for us but we've been so flat out as well that we haven't actually been able to take advantage of those early bedtimes.

I think I desperately need a vacation after this that doesn't require me to do more than go to the spa, get a massage (my aching body needs it because Muffin has put on a lot of weight and he has been a koala bear to me, insisting only I carry him and to carry him everywhere), sleeping a whole lot and hitting the shops for massive retail therapy. And this time, therapy is the right word to use.

Technorati Tags: travelling with 3 children, DisneyWorld

Master Manipulator

2011-11-21T23:42:00.001+08:00

Evan's school teacher told me that he is a smart kid. That he sees things that kids his age do not see.

We have realised that. The boy is bright and sharp and we are constantly floored by his comments and observations. His fascination for observing how things work has led us to think that something in the engineering field might be up his alley.

But today, we discovered also the side of him that has led us to conclude that our son could do well in politics too. Whether that is a good thing, I really don't know.

This was the conversation that led to the conclusion.

Papa: Evan, Papa is going to drop Mommy off in town, okay?
Evan: Why is Mommy going to town?
Mommy: To look for things that I need for our holiday.
Evan: Can I go to Ah Ma's house while you are in town?
Papa: Yes, you can go to Ah Ma's house, but no iPad.
Evan: Papa, are you going with Mommy?
Papa: No, why?
Evan: I think you need to go with Mommy. If you don't go with Mommy, Mommy will have no one to help her. And she will take so long that the shops will close.
Papa: Do you just want me out of the house?
Evan: (pauses) Yes.
Papa: Do you just want me out of the house so that you can have the iPad?
Evan: No, you must go and help Mommy. Mommy needs your help.
Papa: Okay, but I am telling Tita (our helper) that when we are not home, you cannot have the iPad.
Evan: Oh! If Tita doesn't give me the iPad, I will look for it and show it to her! And Papa and Mommy will not be home so I can play with it!

So, instead of telling us directly that he didn't want us around because he wanted some iPad time, he made it out to be of benefit to me. Him having the iPad was just something unexpected that came out of the Papa being out helping Mommy.

Fast forward thirty years, it wouldn't be all that much of a stretch for him to be doing this on a larger scale than just to his parents!

Technorati Tags: twins, words

Grand Vacation 2011 pt 1

2011-11-20T23:34:00.006+08:00

I am taking a break from the 7 meals that I promised to come up with. Reason being I have been far too busy to photograph the meals that I plan to. I promise I will get back to it once things are less crazy.

Things are crazy now because we are a day and a half away from embarking on a mega 24 day long vacation with the extended family. This has meant the desperate rush to tie up loose ends, picking up stuff to pack (we are going to different states in the USA with different types of climates which has meant massive, massive packing) and the actual packing for 5 people, 3 of whom are under 5 and require a large number of things, ranging from diapers to formula to milk bottles.

Thankfully, the twins are hyped up about it in a good way. They really cannot wait to go. Every morning, Evan asks what day it is and has figured out how to count down to Tuesday. I have managed to convince him to go easy on ginger bread cookies because he doesn't want to be fighting a cough on the plane. He willingly traded a ginger bread cookie for a bowl of apples after confirming that apples were good for him.

Jordan hasn't taken quite as academic an approach to counting down her days as her brother but she asks every morning if it is the "twenty- two of November" yet. She has taken very seriously the preparation for it. In a bid to get them involved, we brought down their trolley bags. Evan will just run around with it but is quite content to board the plane with an empty trolley, just as long as he gets to board the plane and the plane takes him to the US. Jordan however has obviously given packing a lot of thought and packed and unpacked several times.

This evening, when I decided it was time for me to actually pack her trolley bag, this was what I found in it.
1. A jacket.
2. A beanie
3. Some of her art work.
4. 2 books - That's Not My Fairy and Fuzzy goes to the Moon.
5. A box of flash cards.
6. A Princess Pillow Book.
7. A stuffed toy cat which she can decorate with the relevant fabric markers.
8. A pair of binoculars.
9. A Barbie cell-phone.
10. A whistle.

It really does make me smile because when you ask her, she explains very clearly why she needs everything. The cell-phone is of course for emergencies. The whistle, so that Mommy will know where she is. The binoculars, to see into the sky and see America from the plane. The drawings are to show Princess Aurora and Cinderella when she sees them in Disneyworld.

Packrat asked me to respect what she has packed. I would love to and have kept some of the things in, but the toys and stuffed cat and pillow have had to make way for extra clothes (which she didn't think to put in).

Now, that was the fun bit of the packing. The real packing is not as entertaining and considering the fact that internal flights charge luggage per piece and it is beyond me to pack light; I am stressed beyond belief.

All those out there who believe in prayer, please pray for us! Nobody gets sick, Muffin doesn't cry from Singapore all the way to San Fran and cause himself and his family to be put on the black list and we come back with the same number of people (12!) we left with. No more, no less!

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, vacation

Favourite Foods 3- Fried Rice Paradise

2011-11-15T18:21:00.002+08:00

Rice is a staple in the house. The kids like it. Packrat sees it as a comfort food. Steaming hot rice. Most of the time, the kids eat plain rice with steamed something and soup. But we do variations because I figure that if I can't eat plain rice every day with dishes, I shouldn't expect that of the kids.

So, one of the variations is fried rice. Even though fried rice is usually a dish to help clear the fridge of left over food, the kids' fried rice is cooked fresh. The first time we did it, we had grilled lemon grass chicken and used that. That was a hit. Evan had 2 plates and Muffin polished off one bowl by himself. Jordan was blase about it but Jordan is not a good gauge of what is good food.

Anyway, we've repeated it a few times since and it has always been well received. The trickiest bit is doing the lemongrass chicken. This is the chicken that we use to make Vietnamese baguette sandwiches from scratch.

To make the chicken.
Chicken fillet
Kikkoman Light Sauce
Oyster Sauce
Lemongrass
Garlic

*For children, I'd go easy on the Kikkoman and Oyster sauce.
Once chicken is marinated, grill at 180 degrees till cooked. (This is about 20 minutes)
Leave it to cool and then dice. Whether the skin is left on depends on how healthy the dish is meant to be. :)

Before even cooking the chicken, rice should be cooked and cooled. We use a mixture of brown and white rice for this. This is regular rice in our house unless the dish specifically asks for white rice.

Anyway, on top of the rice, what goes into the fried rice is really up to the individual. I enforce the 3 vegetable rule here, even with fried rice.

Carrots
Spinach
Young corn/ Parsnip/Broccoli
Fried omelette for garnishing.
Minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon of salt dissolved in water.
Dark sauce for colouring

Minced garlic fried with olive oil.
Carrots and young corn or whatever hard vegetable is thrown it and sauteed till soft.
If minced pork or raw meat is used, this is the point where it should get tossed in to cook too.
Once all the ingredients are cooked, rice gets tossed in and fried till loose and in separate grains.

I sprinkle salt water over the rice to wet it and give it a bit of flavour. And then I drip a few drops of dark sauce into the rice and mix it in just because the twins like 'brown' fried rice.

I usually add on soup because I grew up having soup at every meal and a meal feels incomplete without soup. The soup in the picture was simple pork rib, carrot and potato soup. Evan thought the soup was a waste of time because it made him go to the toilet more. His words, not mine.

I really should not blog about their meal recipes before dinner because I get hungry just thinking about it.

Technorati Tags: child friendly recipes, pre-schoolers

Favourite Foods 2- Pasta Casserole

2011-11-11T07:41:00.003+08:00

This is one of the more sinful meals that I like to make for the children. But the added advantage of this meal is that both Packrat and I like it too so it's a one dish, everyone can eat meal.

I love pasta. There's a comfort element to eating pasta. I can eat mountains of the stuff. So can the kids.

Why is it sinful? The sauce is a tin of Campbell's cream soup of the chicken or mushroom variety. But one tin for a huge Corning Ware pot of pasta with no added salt, I guess is not so bad. But is tasty yummy goodness.

Anyway, what goes in it?

Ingredients (all this is to make a pot big enough to feed about 6-7 people. We keep the leftovers)

Diced chicken (I usually use 6-7 chicken thighs and cut the meat off the bones. Save bones for chicken stock)
Loads of vegetables.
1 whole Zuchinni
Broccoli
2 packets of Young Corn
2 medium sized Carrots
1 packet of Mushrooms
1 stick of Celery (diced thin so that the kids don't complain)
Potatoes (if you want it more starchy. I don't usually do it with spuds though)
Garlic
Big yellow onion
All sliced or diced evenly
Chicken stock (boiled from the bones of the chicken thighs)
Pasta ( I use the tri-coloured spirals or shells for the kids and wholemeal spirals for ourselves. The pot is big enough to do a half and half)
Campbell's Cream of Chicken/ Mushroom soup. Can be replaced by healthier versions if desired.

Preheat oven to 180 degrees
Cook pasta al dente (not too cooked) bearing in mind that it is going to be baked after.
Drain pasta and run it through cold water and set it aside.
Sear chicken (flash cook and have pieces brown- don't need it to be cooked). This prevents chicken from flaking and falling apart when cooked again.
Saute garlic and onions in olive oil.
Add in hard vegetables to saute. Saute till relatively soft- not mushy!
Warm up chicken stock in whatever pot is going to be used to bake the pasta. Once warmed, pour out chicken stock.
Use warmed pot for pasta, sauteed veg and chicken. Mix well.
Slowly mix in tin of cream soup, making sure it dissolves. Slowly add it one cup of chicken stock as well to form moist consistency for the gravy.
If pasta is not wet enough, slowly add in another half a cup of chicken stock.

How much chicken stock is added depends on how wet you envision this dish to be.

Once you are satisfied with the consistency of the dish, put it in oven till pasta is bubbling and chicken is cooked.
The surface of the pasta will be crisp.

We've had it two nights in a row. Well, Packrat and I, that is. And to make it fiery, we add some dashes of Habanero Tabasco.

We tried it with melted cheese but it made it too rich and lemak and I didn't like it. At all.

Technorati Tags: child friendly recipes, pre-schoolers

Favourite Foods 1- Shepherd's Pie

2011-11-09T00:13:00.005+08:00

A friend asked me to blog about the food that the twins and Muffin eat. It was to give her some idea of what to feed her kids.

It would also serve as a record for the kids of their favourite meals as young kids so I thought that it wasn't too bad an idea.

I'm hoping to be able to come up with 7 easy to cook meals that they like.

This one is Shepherd's Pie. For the record, only Evan and Muffin like it now. Jordan has decided she is not keen on it. The boys like it because of the copious amount of potato and beef in it. Jordan likes her food more Asian and noodle-ly.

Shepherd's Pie is what we make if we need to boys to eat in a hurry. And the added advantage is that it is an easy meal to make as well.

Ingredients:
1-2 Russet Potatoes. (Only russets because they bake well and are not too sweet)
Carrot
Parsnip
Broccoli
Pumpkin/ Squash
Celery
Tomato
(I usually pick what is in the fridge and what needs to be cleared out. Usually it will be 3 vegetables)
Minced beef (100-150gm)
Minced garlic
Fresh milk
Oregano and other herbs (optional- dependent on whether children are open to eating herb-y food)
Shredded cheese (if available)

1. Quarter potatoes and boil till soft.
2. Set aside and use pot to cook the other ingredients.
3. Fry garlic with olive oil and then add in other vegetables to simmer till soft.
4. A minute before the fire gets turned off, add in minced beef to cook. Turn off fire when everything is cooked.
5. Mash potatoes with a fork, mixing in some milk to make it creamy and smooth.
6. Lay ingredients on a baking dish and plaster the potato on the top. Use fork to rough up potato so that there are peaks and it will crisp.
7. Sprinkle the cheese over the potato and bake it in the oven at 200 degrees Celsius till brown.
8. Keep warm in oven till ready to eat.

The shepherd's pie that was remaining in the container after Muffin finished his lunch was polished off by an Evan who eats adult sized portions. He follows his father, in terms of appetite and love for meat and spuds!

Technorati Tags: pre-schooler, twins, food, child-friendly recipes

Rules are (not) meant to be broken

2011-11-04T08:54:00.003+08:00

Someone called me a Tiger Mom. I gazed at her in amazement because I don't do the Amy Chua thing. The drill sergeant with a cane, sit and write or whatever for hours on end. Then she said she meant it in the traditional way instead of the Amy Chua way. Meaning that I was very strict and particular with my children. Ah, that, yes.

Some have actually suggested that I should ease off a bit and let the children be children and enjoy childhood. It's hard for me to be an easy going parent because my parents weren't entirely easy going with me. Very big on early bed times and manners, that has translated to my style of parenting too. And I don't really see it as depriving them of a childhood.

The Rules that govern the Tan children are as follows (and I am sure grow as they grow)

You must always love each other, help each other and take care of each other. So, no shoving, hitting or biting (for the case of Muffin). If one falls down, you must help comfort. If one gets told off and is upset, the rest console (not us, the one who inflicted the punishment)
Saying a loud hello with eye contact and a hug to all grandparents is a must. If deaf Bob Grandpa cannot hear you, you haven't said it loud enough. When Papa leaves for work, everyone must kiss him, give him a hug and say good bye.
You are always to be helpful. So, you have to set your own table and come get your food from the kitchen. You must clear the table after their meals. You are not to expect everything to be put out for you. You are to bring your milk tumblers back to the kitchen in the morning and dump your rubbish in the bins and dirty clothes into laundry baskets. If you can't get whatever you need, you are not to demand but to say please and thank you, nicely.
Whatever mess you create in the house, you are to clear it up. Even though we have a helper, you are to clear up. If you don't clear up, you don't get to go out. Remember how we called Evan's bluff and left him at home because he didn't clear up his blocks. And we have given away your toys after we threatened to give it to children who will love the toys more than you will since you leave it all over the floor.
If you break a toy or have lost it because you have been careless, do not expect a replacement. No number of "But I want!" is going to get you a replacement.
Dinner is to be eaten at the dining table. Not on the floor and not on the coffee table, in front of the television. Unfortunately, this rule often gets flouted by those who also feel that with the television on, eating is a fast and painless process. I will refrain from commenting.
Eat whatever is put in front of you. Do not ask for noodles if rice has been given. Do not chuck a fit because the broccoli can be seen. If the meal is not eaten, do not expect something else to be made in its place.
No sweets or chocolates if Mommy's permission is not sought.
Television is only to be watched for half an hour on weekdays after dinner if there is time. It is not an entitlement. It is a treat.
Bed time is non-negotiable. 1900 hrs means all activity is to be stopped, toys to be put away, good nights and thank yous to be said before all retreat to the bedroom.

It's strict and hell to stick to. It's easier to give in to them, especially when they become loud and unreasonable and tantrumic and you just want the screaming to shout. But we are seeing the fruits of sticking to our guns. More independent, responsible children. Even though it requires a lot of nagging and policing.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, rules

Days of our lives

2011-10-31T21:57:00.008+08:00

It is coming up to 6 months since I've gone on leave. As a result, people have asked me if I were itching to go back to work.

My response? A wrinkled nose that shows how reluctant I am to do that.

No, I don't feel the need to go back to the grind. I think I have been much happier without the aggro that is grading papers, intolerable people and waking up early.

That said, my life isn't filled with tai tai activities. I do everyday things like go to the market, do groceries and spend an inordinate amount of time driving the kids to and from their activities and school. It is filled with mediating between the kids. Jordan-Evan, Evan- Muffin, Jordan- Muffin (though this is uncommon) or Jordan and Evan- Muffin. It is about suffering great amounts of angst and stress as they run circles round me, refuse to finish their meals, mess up the house and not bother to clear it up or when they refuse to listen to me and ultimatums have to be issued.

But I also get to spend a lot of time doing things with them. On a regular day, there are early morning trips to the market (they cannot stand the smell of the market, so more trips there!), sending Packrat to work when he wakes up too late or it rains (the latter is more common these days) and trips to the playground or bike/ scooter rides round the estate.

On days they have no school, the outings are a bit more elaborate and it is often fuelled by their interests. Highlights of this include examining a Porsche that some SOTA art students designed because Evan is in love with race cars. Actually, he is in love with anything that has wheels, headlights and wipers.

And then, going on the Flyer for the 3rd time because it is another love of his. We had a beautiful pocket of one hour in between thunder storms and a lightning warning. One hour was enough to get through the one cycle on the flyer, be safely on the ground before the thunder and lightning storm scared all 3 children and have us stuck up high up in the sky with a lightning storm going on.

We've also gone to the beach, because it is a love of mine and I am determined to get Muffin to put his feet on the sand. No luck so far. He puts on a really pissed off face when anyone tries to lower him onto the sand and he goes all koala bear, clinging onto hips, knees, calves... anything to keep the grainy sand off the soles of his feet.

And most recently yesterday, Chilis. Food. A great love of Packrat and mine. While we are averse to junk food, we want to be able to take them to places we like, without them running amok and causing general annoyance and embarrassment.

Most of the time, these are great outings because everyone has fun and everyone is tired out after that. That means, a relatively easy time once they are home, settled and ready for bed. I am thankful that by not working, it gives me the opportunity to do all this. And it is so much part of my regular routine now that I can't imagine waking up and going back to the grind of 7 am days.

Technorati Tags: parenthood, family time

Disneyfied fears

2011-10-25T22:21:00.004+08:00

My mother brought me to see my first movie at the Cathay when I was about 4. The film she picked was Bambi. Till this day, she remembers it. Not because it was a particularly awesome movie but because her 4 year old screeched and was very traumatised when Bambi's mother got shot, off screen. Till this day, she tells the story to anyone who might listen. She must think that it makes her daughter seem extremely empathetic. Her daughter, me, is just embarrassed for having been one of those children who destroyed outings for others because she screamed and disrupted the peace.

And I also remember it being very traumatic. After all, Bambi lost his mother and I was terrified that I would lose mine.

Fast forward 30 years. It is no longer Bambi but The Lion King. It is no longer me, but Evan. He asked to watched The Lion King because he loves the Circle of Life song. I warned Packrat that it would be scary for him. Packrat waved it off. He said Evan seemed to enjoy it. But the minute it ended, Evan was looking for me. Even though he knew that I was only meant to come home later, he was inconsolable because he was certain I had been pushed off a mountain into a stampede of wildebeest.

Even when I did come home, he clung to me like a lifeline. Asking why Scar pushed Mufasa off the mountain. Why Simba was alone. Why Simba was angry with Mufasa. Why everyone thought that Simba was dead. Why Scar was a terrible brother. The questions came amidst sobs.

Clearly, he was terrified and the movie scared him. Packrat said we could have used that to teach him things like obedience, that Mufasa was angry with Simba for going into the elephant grave yard. Why it was necessary to follow instructions.

But it really wasn't the time. And it's been almost a week and he is still asking the same questions and swearing never to watch the Lion King again. Just like I have never been able to bring myself to watch Bambi again.

Technorati Tags: 4 year olds, Disney cartoons, The Lion King, Bambi

Expensive Bones

2011-10-18T09:07:00.003+08:00

I hate milk. With a vengeance.

The only time I've drunk milk willingly was when I was pregnant and was fearful that the babies would suck all the calcium out of me and leave me brittle-boned and osteoporotic before my time. And even then, I drank milk in the form of chocolate milk mixed in with Milo.

And because I know how much my mom worried and I assume still worries about my calcium intake, I make sure that my kids have all the calcium they need.

But I really don't have to worry about that because they are sucking me dry financially by inhaling so much dairy! In a week, we go through at least
1. 1 1/2 bottles of milk (that's about 3 litres or more) - $5.20 x 1.5
2. 1 packet of processed sliced cheese- $3.25 for 12
3. 1 box of Cheddar cheese - $5.60
4. 1 litre of yogurt- $7.05

And on top of that, there is cheese that we buy for their pizzas and Laughing Cow wedges that Evan eats as snack and Vitagen by the packs of 5 and the formula milk that they occasionally ask for in the dawn hours.

Evan is really the dairy boy. His bread has got to be buttered, even if there is going to be melted cheese atop. His pasta has to be covered in parmesan and he drinks an entire tumbler of milk just when he wakes up and then an entire mug at breakfast an hour later. That is with 2 slices of cheese on open faced sandwiches, a cup of yogurt, some cubed cheese and a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese if I allow him.

Jordan, while she doesn't have her brother's intense love for cheese will still demand cheese toast, a mug full of milk and cubed cheese. She usually pairs that off with two soft boiled eggs.

Strange that they are so thin after all that breakfast and are usually ravenous by 10 am before they even board their school bus.

Muffin eats the least amount of fresh dairy at this point. He gets fresh milk in the morning with cereal or yogurt with fruit with a couple of cubes of cheese which he loves. I suspect it is the sodium that he actually loves.

What ever it is, when Evan whines and begs me not to work, I tell him that if I don't, I can't pay for his expensive dairy habit. Usually that keeps him quiet for a while as he processes a world without dairy. Then he usually concedes and just tells me to hurry back.

When I go grocery shopping, the cashiers have commented on my dairy purchases because usually I buy everything in bulk. Processed cheese slices in bound packs of 3s and usually the low fat variety for me, 2 big bottles of milk, 3 strips of Vitagen, 2 boxes of Cheddar, 2 boxes of yogurt (1 for them and 1 low-fat one for me) and the big 30 pack of eggs (strictly speaking, not dairy). They ask how long I take to finish it or how many people there are in my family. Unabashedly, I tell them a week and a half, tops. And that the kids that are eating so much are under 5.

That usually causes their eyes to bug. And then sometimes, if the cashier is very motherly a bit of nagging that I should be taking a lot of it as well, especially since I have 3 kids. I usually just smile and nod. I never tell them I hate most of the stuff I buy and would throw up if anyone forced it down me!

Technorati Tags: twins, nutrition

Hoodwinked.

2011-10-13T23:03:00.003+08:00

It is times like these, when all three children are playing quietly or asleep that we, for a foolish moment think that this isn't so bad and perhaps having a fourth wouldn't be that bad an idea. Both thankfully and not, these moments are far and few between.

For the most part, they are bickering, annoying the heck out of each other and occasionally poking each other's eyes out. And during those times, in between yelling at them, I am left muttering under my breadth that it would be over my dead body if I had another Tan offspring to add to the brood.

Besides, Jordan, Evan and Dylan (Muffin) make for a very nice acronym- JED. It would be hard for a fourth to be added into the fold. The only conceivable letter that could be put into the acronym, would be "I" . And then, not only will that be truly cool, I will have a brood that are masters at the mind games. But even then, no.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, Having children

Ballerina girl

2011-10-08T23:37:00.005+08:00

I make it no secret that I am thrilled Jordan asked for ballet lessons and she has taken to it like a fish to water. I regretted every minute that I never got to start ballet when I was her age. By the time I picked it up, I had been trained in a sport that used muscles most counter intuitive to ballet dancers. That meant undoing a lot of what I had learnt over the years. But I loved it and I had a wonderful ballet teacher who taught me how to dance with my soul and how that could make up for less than perfect feet and turn out.

And when I had Jordan, I hoped that she would love it too. At the same time, I swore that I was never going to push her into doing it because I wanted her to do it for love, like I did. So when she asked for ballet lessons, I waited almost a year before I signed her up, to make sure that it wasn't just a passing fad.

I don't think she will ever be like my ballet teacher who, in my opinion was one of the greats in the world. Neither would she be the next Sylvie Guillen or Darcey Bussell. I don't dream of her winning awards or going to the Royal Ballet School. But I do hope that she will love it, benefit from it in terms of carriage, flexibility and musicality.

She is having a lot of fun. She gets to toss feathers, run and wave tassels around and mime dramatically. It's for 45 minutes on a Saturday and despite the fact that it is a ridiculously mad rush to get there, to see her having fun in a world of Tchaikovsky music and pretty pink chiffon seems to make it all okay. Even though she finds doing splits and kissing the floor painful, she doesn't quite give up. And that is where all those years of my ballet come in handy. To coax her and help her stretch up those hardly-ever-used inner thigh muscles.

And what does Evan do while his sister counts fingers to tinsely music and bunny hops across the studio floor? He sits in front imperiously and watches her like a stern ballet master. We've asked if he wants to take the class. The teacher has asked him too because when he fools around after class with her, she has been amused and impressed by his remarkable ability to jump. And in her words, "we need strong, good looking boys to jump and partner the girls".

Will he rise to it? Thankfully, if he chooses to, his father won't say no.

Technorati Tags: twins, 4 year old ballet, RAD

Deathly thoughts

2011-10-05T08:29:00.002+08:00

I wake up this morning to a little voice going "Mommy, I don't want you to die."

That was Evan, in one of his contemplative, introspective moods.

The twins have learnt about death.

They learnt it at Easter when they were taught in school that Jesus died on the Old Rugged Cross.

They learnt that it happens to people close to them because they have asked their Grandma and their Grandaunt where their mummy was and the answer given to them was that she had gone to heaven.

They have also learnt that if they do dangerous things, like allow a balloon to deflate in their mouths (Evan did that and we had to yank the balloon out of his throat), they might accidentally cause death to themselves.

We try not to scare them but at the same time, we try our best not to hide reality from them.

Jordan takes it in her stride, understanding that death happens when you are really old (just like teeth loss).

Evan, however, doesn't take it well at all. He gets weepy, emotional and panicky that we might die and leave him alone.

If that isn't reason to exercise, stay healthy and look after ourselves, I don't know what is.

Technorati Tags: twins, death

Tinsel town

2011-10-04T15:29:00.002+08:00

I love it when it rains because the air is cleaner and it is definitely a couple of degrees cooler.

But the problem with that is it means that we can't go to the playground in the morning after breakfast. And that leaves about half an hour to 45 minutes of time that I have the energetic kids running round the house, literally making a mess of everything. I have only recently truly understood what it means when we metaphorically describe children as tornados who leave a trail of destruction.

At the same time, the twins are very used to doing something academic before they go to school. They will ask for 'work'. It usually involves a reading, writing activity or math activity depending on what I feel up to that day. That is probably a reason why I could never home school my kids. The timetable for the day will depend on how much I am up for. And more often than not, that's not much. When we end up not having time to do something, they will ask me why they haven't done anything. So I can't even skip it, even if I really didn't want to do it.

Anyway, this week, the twins are doing the letter 'x' in school. X is one of those letters where there are few words that begin with it. The example list that the school sent home had 'fox' and 'box' among other words. I decided, since I needed to get the kids out of the house and that theoretically meant I had a bit more time to do something 'academic' with them, we would make 'x' words. And since the twins have also been asking to play with tinsel, we would make tinsel words. Outside. Too messy to be an in-the-house activity.

It was apt that I had a box to cut out cardboard from to make the words. The word 'box' made on cardboard from a box. Double sided tape to fashion the words is less messy than glue and plastic bowls and spoons to scoop the tinsel and we had a project that kept them occupied for a good half hour.

If we needed to put an academic spin to it, they were chuffed that their word boards look so pretty and they learnt how to read 'fox' and 'box' quite well, figuring that they could blend the sounds. On the side, I think they learnt also to pour, with varying degrees of success, the tinsel back into the bowl; spread tinsel over the tape. If I really wanted to add an inter-disciplinary dimension to it, I'm pretty sure there was some physics involved in watching the tinsel fly, land and swirl on the puddles of rain water.

Whatever it is, what pleased me was they had fun; they made a mess; they killed a couple of birds with one activity and by the time they were done, they had just enough time to bathe and go down and catch the bus.

Technorati Tags: twins, reading activities, rainy day activities

Bilingual girl

2011-10-01T10:00:00.000+08:00

I went to a Chinese kindergarten as a child. My parent's rationale was that it would help me in the uphill battle with Chinese as a second language in school. So, for the first few years of my academic life, I spoke fluent Chinese. But because no one at home spoke it to me, Chinese stopped being a language to me and instead became decade long vocabulary list to me.

I hope that all three kids don't have to go through the struggles Packrat and I did with Chinese. He more than myself. Perhaps because of the Chinese kindergarten or perhaps the SBC Chinese serial repeats at 3 pm every afternoon when television transmission opened for the day.

So how much can we do for the children, seeing that our own Chinese standards leave so much to be desired? I had a variety of options.
1. Send them to the Chinese kindergarten I went to, although the wait list for that one circumnavigates Singapore a few times.
2. Be the designated speaker of Chinese for the kids.
3. Hire a Chinese tutor to come over and speak to them, read to them and generally speak to them.
4. Bring them to Beijing for six months and ensure they pick up, not only Chinese but Beijing Chinese.
5. Send them to a Chinese enrichment class that doesn't intimidate them.

1 Was out of the question because I wasn't going to send them to two schools within a day. (I would be broke) And there was no way to get in anyway. Plus I heard it was a place where worksheets were abound and I was not going to be party to that.
2, While I am the one who converses with them in Chinese, I am hampered by the inability to name a lot of things are called in Chinese. I had also read that for bilingualism to really be taught at home, one parents must speak nothing but that language. Often the children are not as close to the parent who speaks the weird language.
3. Tried that but home is too familiar for them so they don't settle and listen to the teacher. They monkey around and the teacher got extremely exhausted and it was unproductive.
4. Packrat is unlikely to get posted any time soon to China, let alone Beijing, so I wouldn't hold my breath on this one. And if he ever did, the entire family would have to spend a fortune learning Chinese from scratch.
5. This is eventually what we chose to do. We picked an enrichment class that taught Chinese in a fun way and they seem to like it, enjoy it and get something out of it. And there isn't any pressure, at this age, for them to perform and excel or score full marks.

And from all evidence, both of them are getting something out of it. I don't think, I could at their age, read so fluently in Chinese.

Jordan is slightly weaker than Evan when it comes to reading because she is distracted. But even she is able to show off what she has learnt in class.

It's not reciting Chinese poetry or anything. But from a household whose combined Chinese standard might be Primary 4, it's something we are very proud of.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, speaking mandarin

Old MacDonald Had a Farm

2011-09-29T23:09:00.004+08:00

Muffin is slowly acquiring words. They come in bursts. So in a day, he will happily show off 4 or 5 newly acquired words and on other days, he will keep mum.

For the longest time, we couldn't get him to make animal noises. With the twins, even before they had real words, they had animal sounds. Old MacDonald Had a Farm had a lot to do with that. Muffin showed that he was entertained by the song and the concept of animals making specific sounds but he refused to replicate them.

Then in the span of last week, he could replicate all of them; dogs, cats, monkeys, cows, lions and tigers (granted lions and tigers make the same sound).

His favourite are dogs and cats. Possibly because he sees live specimens of them. That reminds me that I really need to take him to the zoo soon.

Anyway, all 3 kids love the cats that loiter around our estate. There is one in particular which they love. Obviously and most imaginatively, they call her CAT. And she is tame, nonchalant and accommodating towards the kids. She is also most tolerant of them. They throw leaves at her, holler at her and occasionally prod and poke her. I tried teaching them to use a stick to scratch her on her belly. But they end up prodding her despite my attempts to stop them. This is not done cruelly. I continually lecture them about NOT chasing cats. And most of the time, they are just trying their darndest to get a reaction out of Kitty Miss Nonchalant.

And the more she ignores them, the louder they get.

I spent half the time during this video worrying that Muffin would get his head stick between the grills and wondering how I would get his head out if he really did. I hear butter or oil really helps. But that is digressing and I have made a note to self to teach him, the next time he attempts to stick his head through that it.is.not.a.good.idea.

Anyway, the above video is of him hollering "MEOW" at the cat. This subsequent one is of him hollering "CAT" and the twins attempting to tickle CAT.

My personal suspicion is that dear CAT might be deaf or has offspring of her own and has mastered the art of ignoring noisy children.

Technorati Tags: toddlers, first words, pets

Fish tales

2011-09-26T21:39:00.002+08:00

Muffin has two favourite books. One of them is the perennial favourite of all my children- The Gruffalo. And the other is one of the twins' school readers Look Out Fish!

Granted, at this age, Muffin's relationships with books is a strange one. A book does not just possess the ability to spin an amazing tale for him. It is a weapon, a pillow, ammunition that is meant to launch and very often, books strewn on the ground become the paved footpath for Muffin across whatever tumultuous terrain he imagines he has to scale.

But pull out either of these two books and he seems to stop tripping and comes down from his speed high. He sits quietly, looks at the pictures and occasionally adds in his own sound effects.

With the Gruffalo, he growls at the Gruffalo and flaps his wings at the owl. With Look Out Fish! , he mimics the ending on every page where the predator fish goes "Snap snap!". Without fail, he repeats "Snap snap!" and sometimes nods his head to add emphasis.

In the background, you hear Evan chuckling and extremely tickled that his brother can 'read' his book. Both siblings seem very amused that Muffin is finding words. They spend a better part of their day trying to get their brother to utter new words and they laugh at the way he does it.

Perhaps I should re-imagine the story for him. "Look Out Muffin fish, the Evan fish is trying to attack you!" "Snap snap!"

Technorati Tags: toddler, reading, Look Out Fish!, The Gruffalo

Puppy dogs tails or sugar and spice

2011-09-25T07:55:00.003+08:00

There is a belief that girls were easier to manage than boys. I partially subscribe to that and think I would have cried if I had 3 boys. It's not so much that boys are more difficult to handle but they are just more energetic; a combination of both the Energizer bunny and the Duracell battery. They have to be doing something. Jordan on the other hand, is happy to just sit and draw for long periods of time. And I don't have to worry about her dismantling things.

That said, I think Jordan will worry us more than the 2 boys. She is friendly and disarming. She talks to anyone from the janitors in our block to the elderly. She seems to have this quality that allows her to wrap little boys round her fingers and she knows what it is to be pretty.

She covets long hair, to the point that she burst into tears when I cut off what she considered my locks. She only wears pretty clothes, preferably in pink and purples and fancies herself some princess. She improvises and uses crayons to colour her nails and was thrilled to pieces when she got skin art yesterday at a birthday party.

My Facebook post about it was "When she is 4, it looks pretty but when she is 14 and wants it permanent, that is a totally different story".

Evan, on the other hand, got himself into a staring situation yesterday and came away crying.

We sure have our work cut out for us.

Technorati Tags: twins, gender differences

Attitude

2011-09-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

Muffin has the strongest personality of all 3 children.

He is fiesty, he makes his opinions known and is extremely strong minded about them and he isn't afraid to fight to get what he wants.

All good things if tempered but it leaves his siblings with dread because they are regularly terrorised by him.

But they love him to bits because he has a most disarming grin and he uses it with impunity.

Even learning to speak, he marches to his own tune. He doesn't do party tricks. So he won't sing on command or moo like a cow on command. Perhaps, his thought bubble reads "Who do they think they're trying to fool, trying to make me moo like a cow in front of all these strangers?"

Whatever it is, his words are heard when he feels like it on when it is of maximum benefit to him. Having said that, I've been wanting to record how he puts himself to sleep. That's probably when his guard is down and all the sounds and words come tumbling out. But most of the time, he will yammer right to the point that I point the camera at him and then he will shut up or make random incomprehensible sounds.

This was the one moment that I managed to capture him saying something intelligible. And even then, he says it with attitude. Amen is a word uttered in agreement and reverence. The way Muffin does it, he could almost be gutteral and spitting it out with some sort of vehemence.

Since we're teaching him to say grace before his meals, we take whatever Amens come our way. We don't worry so much about God. We figure God knows Muffin has a sense of humour and he's just adding his bit of Muffin zest to it.

Technorati Tags: Saying grace, toddler speech

Party gifts

2011-09-22T09:07:00.001+08:00

One thing about having my own birthday during school holidays was that I never got to celebrate my birthday with my classmates. Having said that, I don't think very many people celebrated their birthdays in school then. Perhaps a smattering and I cannot recall or perhaps because I was in a neighbourhood school where my classmates included children of the Gurkha soldiers in Singapore, the socio-economic strata didn't allow for such extravagances, there really weren't all that many. Whatever it was, birthdays in school were rare and goodie bags were non-existent.

The problem is that this isn't the case today. Practically every week, the twins will come home from school announcing that it was 'so and so' s birthday and they got a present. Most of the time, the goodie bags are filled with little snacks or stationary, which I run through with such a fine tooth comb our Board of Censors could hire me. Sometimes however, they get really big gifts that stun me. Once there was a hooded towel with a cartoon character on it. That I know cost at least $20 because I contemplated buying it and then put it back because I don't even pay $20 for my own towels. Another stunner was a colour pencil/crayon/ magic marker/ water colour palette set. This came neatly wrapped in Toys R Us paper.

These gifts bug me. In fact, the whole concept of the goodie bag bugs me. It has taught the twins that at anyone's birthday, they have a right to expect that they too will walk away with a gift. What has happened with birthdays being meant for the one who was born that day and everyone trying to make it special for that one person? Is it some sense of misguided generosity that causes parents to feel that their child's responsibility on his birthday is to make others around him feel special? That doesn't sound like a bad idea, the beginning seeds of compassion and service but at the same time, there are other ways of sowing those seeds. And it has brought home a lot of plasticky toys that the twins chuck aside and forget about after rifling through the bags. I try not to throw them away because I am always mindful that I am throwing away plastic which does not degrade and when burnt, releases toxins into the air. But that means that my house is increasingly cluttered.

And it is a source of conflict. Because the twins are in separate classes, they come home with goodie bags just for themselves. That causes a lot of indignance and possessiveness which leads to a lot of fighting.

I could live without all that.

But it is so ingrained in them. I try not to perpetuate it. But when their birthdays came round this year, they insisted and expected that I would distribute goodie bags to their friends and to also bring cake into their classes. And I cannot be cruel and deny them that celebration. I try my best to water it down. I make sure the cakes are home made and that the goodie bags contain food that I would feed them. That way, I can tell myself that I am just providing the twins' classmates a healthy-ish tea snack.

But when these big whammer gifts are brought home, I feel very stressed because I can neither afford such gifts for my children's classmates nor do I want to indulge them in this way. I don't really want to play the game. I don't want to keep up with the Jonses or the Lims/ Tans/ Lees of my children's nursery class. I'm not the only mom who feels this way but we are all middle-income cowards. We dare not buck the trend. We dare not risk ostracizing our children. But we sure as heck know enough to feel guilty about it.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, goodie bags, birthdays

Mystery solved

2011-09-21T10:20:00.002+08:00

We've finally figured out who tossed Duck Duck out the window.

He incriminated himself.

When interrogated this morning, Evan pointed to Muffin.
When Jordan was asked, she shrugged.
When Muffin was asked, he went to the window, pointed outside and said "Duck Duck. Outside. Down"

That's as much of an admission and confession we'll ever get.

What was the motive?

We don't know.

But we know that he wasn't pleased that he didn't succeed.

This afternoon, he was found grabbing Evan's Duck Duck again and making a beeline for the window. When he was stopped and the window shut, he cried.

Could it be that he had some vendetta against Evan? We don't see him having just cause. Afterall, he is the one that is often channeling Godzilla and wrecking Evan's toys.

Did he do it to get more attention? Possibly. Although we don't see how that would make sense in his head apart from the fact that he would get a loud earful from both his parents.

Whatever it is, he remains unapologetic and even gleeful about it. Over and over again, when we ask him who did it and he would incriminate himself quite proudly. "Duck Duck. Outside. Down. Drop." He would repeat.

We need to teach him to not incriminate himself when he does something wrong. At the same time, this is behaviour (guileless honesty) that we want to see follow him through life.

Technorati Tags: siblings, toddler

A Father's worst nightmare

2011-09-20T08:41:00.002+08:00

My daughter is giving her father anxiety pangs and she is only 4. She is overly affectionate and boys are attracted to her like bees to honey. We had another twin boy who followed her around like a puppy dog, pushing other people out of the way and pulling up chairs for her to sit on. At this age, it is all very sweet. But the writing is on the wall for this girl.

As Packrat quips, thank goodness she has two brothers to help him with the screening and terrorising of the boys who come a knocking.

When I was a teenager and started to take an interest in boys, my father's rules were simple. No boys in the bedroom. Of course, he contradicted himself by saying that if I did have a boy in my room, the door had to be open and he was not allowed to sit on the bed.

Naturally, I rolled my eyes at my father and grudgingly obeyed him.

Now that I have my daughter, his rules don't sound so draconian.

Last night, we were reading the real Rapunzel tale. Not the Disney-tised version but the real one where the Old Witch shoves the Prince out the window and he falls into thorn bushes and ends up becoming blind.

Naturally, Jordan wanted to know why the Old Witch pushed the Prince out the window.

I seized upon the opportunity then.

Mommy: The Old Witch pushed the Prince out the window because he wasn't supposed to be in Rapunzel's room. You must never have a boy in your room.
Jordan: Otherwise you will push him out the window?
Mommy: What do you think?
Papa: So are you allowed to have boys in your room?
Jordan: No. But Muffin and Evan can?
Papa: Yes, they are your brothers. That's okay.

Using it as an equal opportunity lesson,
Papa: Evan, are you supposed to have girls in your room?
Evan: No. Only Jordan. Brothers and sisters are okay.

We thought that was the end of the issue.

Then, Evan asks: Papa, can I help you build a tower? So that we can put Jordan in it?

Anyone with daughters want to enlist my sons' help? I'm sure he will be willing to learn how to build a moat. And I'm sure Muffin could round up some crocodiles for the moat.

Technorati Tags: twins, boy-girl relationships

Fowl play

2011-09-19T22:25:00.005+08:00

Misquoting Hamlet, "There is something rotten in the state of Holland" (Holland here being our home.

Evan has a Duck Duck. He cannot be away from it for too long. Withdrawal symptoms are massive and we try to never be in a situation where he is without his Duck Duck.

This evening, a mystery unfolded in our home.

It was bedtime. Evan couldn't find his Duck Duck. We searched everywhere for it. Even in places that we don't usually look like our wardrobes, under the couch covers and even in the bathroom.

3 inconsistencies.

1. Evan was remarkably calm. He said he would sleep without it.
2. We gave the children a lecture about throwing things out the window because apparently, my belt was flung out the window in a bid to 'catch a bird'.
3. Evan accepted his substitute Duck Duck and declared that it was old enough now to become 'Old Duck Duck'.

We eventually found Duck Duck, 14 floors down, on the ground outside, below our bedroom window.

How it got there is the mystery.
1. Could Evan have accidentally thrown it out, inspired by our lecture to not throw things out?
2. Could Jordan have done it, the same way she tossed out my belt? Perhaps this time to see if the bird a.k.a duck could fly?
3. Could it be Muffin, our usual suspect? I did see him standing by my window with his arm outstretched.

What ever it is, I suspect foul play. The fowled towel probably didn't go skydiving on its own volition.

The problem is only 2 of the 3 suspects speak.

Technorati Tags: twins, security blanket

Portioning Time

2011-09-19T08:27:00.005+08:00

There's a book being made into a movie called "I Don't Know How She Does It". It's about a mom who has 10 balls in the air. But apparently it's a terrible movie because it "reflects an idealized version of someone failing. If only all such bad mothers could be so good."

The reality is that we all fail because we want to be able to do everything and we really don't have the time to do so. Then, I read this somewhat harsh article about time, motherhood and those without kids. And she says this about time, efficiency and productivity and how she does it.

She’s four years old. I discovered that I get as much done now as I did before she was born. How is that possible? It’s because I’m a whole lot more efficient now. I only have a fraction of the time to read, work, exercise, watch TV, etc. that I used to. Because of that, I do things faster and I’ve eliminated people and eliminated things that aren’t important. My productivity has remained level but my efficiency has gone through the roof because of my daughter.

In this case, I know how she does it but I don't think I can do what she does and I say it without envy. I think she does it better than I do because I think my productivity and efficiency have taken hits. It's inevitable when sleep is one of the things that gets partially eliminated.

If I had to prioritise my time it would look something like that.
1. Kids and Packrat tie for first place.
2. Work.
3. Errands.
4. Sleep.
5. Me time.

Because Me time is at the bottom of the list and I am often in need of just down and chill time, I spend it reading, seeing friends and just becoming one with the couch. It feels like it takes too much effort to exercise. Plus exercise means making sure that all 3 children are otherwise entertained, expressing so that I don't feel like my boobs are going to detach themselves from my chest wall and rallying remaining strength to put on my running shoes. That is hard enough, let alone drive myself to an exercise/pilates/ballet class that I paid money to join. I know all about how exercise releases endorphins and that makes one feel good after that. I know it helps with detox and therefore helping me feel less tired, bloated and overall bleagh. But the excuses come fast and furious.

And this is a strange sensation for me because I spent the better part of my life running and later dancing and staying still and sedentary is not a natural state for me.

But recently, I have begun to mourn the loss of the old active me. I'm not sure what brought that about. But discovering a photograph of me from 7 years ago completing a triathlon relay, ultrafit with abs to boot did not help.

Then.

So when my birthday rolled round and I was asked what I wanted as a gift, I requested for a good pair of running shoes (Pregnancy and childbirth has wreaked havoc on my knees and joints).

With them, I have started running again. It's meant running after the kids go to sleep. And that's meant having dinner close to 10 pm at night and going to bed with a full tummy and damp hair. But it has made me feel slightly better although I don't think those abs are ever going to make a come back. 3 kids will terrible things to the abs especially when two were gestating together.

Now.

Once I get into the hang of this, perhaps I will start taking part in runs again. But for now, it really is gingerly taken baby running steps. A far cry from the pre-kids days but this is about all the time I can carve out right now. And at least, I am getting my leaden legs moving. Now to buy more running shorts and sports bras.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, personal time, exercise

Dreams

2011-09-16T07:28:00.004+08:00

The twins have recently been able to tell me what they dream about at night.

It has been a great source of amusement to me because they have as whacky dreams as I used to have.

Granted, some of the time, the dreams consist of monsters and scary things which mean that they migrate to my bedroom in the middle of the night in terror. But most of them time, they are benign and bizarre dreams.

Evan has dreamed about people he hardly sees walking on train tracks that don't exist anymore.

Jordan has dreamed of ponies who can talk and tell her to braid their mane. To which she replies that she has to ask Mommy to do it for them because Mommy braids her hair and she can't do it by herself.

The most amusing one by far that Evan had was that he dreamed that he was a piece of garbage and someone threw him away. Then he went sailing in the sea and saw many fish and whales.

I used to dream about bizarre things like having babies but realising that they were labrador puppies. I also dreamed once that I had a polar bear as a pet and kept it in a glass bowl full of ice. Packrat once dreamed that I had triplets but that when they were born, they were Caucasian. He was not amused.

But what seems to be common amongst all of us is that we all share the same propensity to dream weird. I cannot wait for Muffin to be able to add to it.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, sleeping

Food Nazi.

2011-09-14T15:05:00.004+08:00

The twins have got to a stage where it is difficult to actually control what they eat out of the house. They are at their grandparents and their grandparents think it is the grandparents' prerogative to feed them junk. They are in school, they have parties in school and on school field trips, the only place that can accomodate such a large number of children is often MacDonalds. That means, I sometimes don't have a say about what they eat.

I wish I did. I am particular about what they eat. On a regular day, their dinner consists of a mixture of brown and white rice, 3 types of vegetable and a meat or fish. They get fruit, eggs and often milk for breakfast. Lunch, they have in school so it's a black hole to me. So whatever is within my control, I make sure that they eat within my rules.

Why am I so nuts about food?

Perhaps it is because at 13 years old, I learnt about macrobiotic and natural science diets. I learnt about uric acid and how it collects in muscles, rendering athletes unable to perform their best. Then I learnt from Jamie Oliver and Supersize Me the evils and conspiracies of the food conglomerates out there. So, I watch what my kids eat like a hawk. Much of what other children of their age, the twins haven't eaten much of. Fishballs (MSG!) (Although occasionally, I give it to them as a treat and then, it is just one!), french fries (deep fried and salted!) (We bake our own and they like it just as much), nuggets (processed chicken beaks, feet, throats with a whole bunch of emulsiers thrown in!) (We make our own). It's my crazy Mom thing. I admit.

Having said that, I won't impose it on other people, so if the kids get invited to parties and such food exist, I let them eat it although often I try to feed them at home first so a) they won't eat so much b) they actually have some good food in them already. At the same time, I couldn't be a full nazi about it because I don't want my kids to grow up weird. I want them to grow up knowing what healthy, good food is and that junk food, on occasion can be acceptable.

So, in recent months, I have become a bit more relaxed with them. They go to MacDonalds. They've had fries. They've had nuggets. They eat the hotcakes and they eat the butter (which in my opinion is about the grossest thing in the world). But they have tired of the hotcakes and they now hanker for the Iced Milo. While I accede to it, I cannot in good conscience give them an entire cup. So, I buy one cup, take away, bring it home, split it into 3 and top up the other 2/3 with fresh milk.

So I adulterate the junk food that they get.

When they discover junk food at home; Packrat loves crisps and I love cookies, we occasionally give them some. Or we tell them the truth. That it's bad for them and it will make them constipate and they can eat it when they are all grown up.

Packrat thinks that when they discover real and unadulterated junk food, they will realise that they've been stiffed all their childhood life! It's like my nephew growing up thinking that red wine tasted like Ribena because when he asked for red wine one Christmas, we gave him Ribena.

I know it is a losing battle and that when they hit primary school, they will eat more junk than ever. But hopefully by then, their early eating habits would come natural to them and it will temper the evils of junk and fast food that will inadvertently be available to them.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, healthy eating, junk food

Playschool search

2011-09-12T21:25:00.003+08:00

Once again, I am hunting for a playschool. Initially, we thought we would send Muffin back to the same child care that the twins went to. But apparently, they are bursting at the rafters with kids so they can't take in anymore, even if it is only 10kg and under a metre tall, in the shape of Muffin. So, there has been a search for one.

My conditions stay the same although after the twins, I am better able to articulate it.
1. No worksheets.
2. Open airy classrooms.
3. Good teachers that love the kids.
4. Clean.

Packrat's conditions are that
1. There should be open areas for Muffin to play.
2. It should preferably be in an old rambling house.
3. There should be tricycles or other play vehicles.

I have narrowed it down to two schools. The others were dismissed rapidly for various reasons.
One had great open airy rooms in a rambling house but I couldn't get my head round the fact that 18 month olds were sitting round a table doing worksheets. On top of that, they didn't let parents sit in with the kids as a transition period. I was supposed to chuck Muffin into the deep end on the first day.

Another had no outdoor play area and while it boasted a very nice pool, I found out the pool was freezing cold. On top of that, the kids were crying a lot and the fees were exorbitant.

So the two that I am looking at.

School A.

What is good about School A.
1. Cheaper than School B.
2. Has a very articulate principal who managed to get Muffin to stop crying and play peekaboo with her.
3. Has a very organised and structured curriculum.
4. While structured, does not believe in worksheets.
5. Clean and bright.
6. Has a playground and trykes that can be ridden.
7. Conscientious about health checks.
8. Small class size for the toddler bunch.

What is not so good about School A.
1. Slightly further away than School B.
2. Is in an office building.
3. School has no classrooms but is partitioned.

School B.

What is good about School B.
1. In an old rambling house. Actually, 2 rambling houses.
2. Has a great playground.
3. Has a trampoline that all 3 kids loved and were fearless on!

4. Is nearby.
5. No airconditioning.
6. A mixture of kids from all over the world. We saw some Caucasian and Eurasian kids. We like that because it exposes the child to other races and possibly other festive and cultural celebrations.

What is not so good about School B.
1. Unclear curriculum.
2. Dark and grimy.
3. Cluttered.
4. Ventilation is bad and it is stuffy inside.
5. Does not seem as vigilant with health checks.
6. It is more expensive and I think I am paying the premium for the trampoline and the nice playgrounds.
7. Muffin will be stuck into a big class where he will be one of the youngest.

So I am torn. I am inclined to pick A because it is cheaper and I don't think the quality will differ as much as the fees would. But that being said, Muffin was much more at home in School B than A. In fact, I had to haul him, kicking and screaming out of the school. So, do I go with my instincts or my son's?

I read through my blog posts from the first month the twins were in school and I can't believe I will have to go through all the tears, germs and guilt all over again!

Technorati Tags: playschool, Singapore

While we were away

2011-09-09T08:24:00.004+08:00

Packrat spirited me off for a short 3 day break in Bangkok the minute school was out this last week. This was despite my declarations that I would miss Muffin and the twins would be whining for me and giving his mom a hard time. He would not hear of it. He wanted some time to hang out with his wife without her being distracted by her Mommy duties. And he claimed that the twins would be fine because they had been hankering to stay over at their grandparents so that they could watch copious amounts of television anyway.

So we went, me with a painful heart at leaving the littlest who moaned and cried as we left the house with our bags.

And from all accounts, he was right. The twins had a blast and Muffin was none the worse for wear.

The twins did indeed watch copious amounts of television. They also went to an art camp and were giggling and clamouring to show off their art pieces. Evan discovered foosball and went round the house searching for dollar coins that he could use for the machine.

Muffin went swimming, scared his grandparents with his fearless, dunking antics. He also over ate on two occasions, proceeding to imitate the Merlion and upchuck, much to the chagrin of the helper and the grandma.

He also managed to convince his grandfather into allowing him to watch television at 6.30 in the morning. Something I was extremely horrified with but the soft hearted grandfather melted as my youngest clasped his hands to his chest in an earnest gesture to say please; add to that, his big, soulful eyes and soft pleading voice. When his grandfather showed signs of hedging, he tried a different tactic and proppelled him by pushing his knees toward the television set and brought him the DVDs and remote controls. All this was reported to me by an extremely sheepish grandfather who knew that I would disapprove but felt he was under the spell of his charming grandson.

When they saw us, there was great excitement as they tried to unload upon us all that they had done for the past 3 days and Muffin wanted to sleep with me last night. Apart from that, it seemed like there was no permanent damage.

On my part, I missed the kids muchly but I did manage to get some sleep which was much needed and according to Packrat, my colour improved from a shade of pale green to a slight tinge of flushed radiance. I attribute that to the divine spa we had, in a suite larger than our hotel room and a masseuse who took seriously my request for wanting a massage that I could sleep through.

When I woke, I felt like I had slept for 10 hours. And that was what was much needed.

Now, I am back, single-parenting today. The down side to going away for a divine break is that the return to reality is a rude and depressing downer that's going to need some readjusting time.

Technorati Tags: parenthood, coupletime

Childhood ambitions

2011-09-03T23:41:00.007+08:00

The twins are at the age now where they talk about what they would like to be/ do when they grow up. After listening to their ambitions, Packrat and I came to the conclusion that if both kids or for that matter all kids, grew up and did what they wanted to do as children, we would not need to hire foreigners.

When my brother was little, he wanted to be a firefighter and use the fire trucks to water all of my mom's roses. I wanted to wash the drains for a living and Packrat wanted to be a farmer.

Now, Evan spends his time obsessing about trucks, construction vehicles and garbage trucks. If he had his way, he would be a garbage truck driver because then he gets to control the lever in the truck that raises the bins and tips the rubbish into the truck. In his more serious moods, he would like to be a teacher so that he can mark papers like Mommy and Papa. It was at that point where both Packrat and I hollered that it wasn't a good idea (the marking bit, the teaching bit is okay). He has also occasionally displayed very good busboy skills, clearing plates from the table and doing the dishes.

Jordan changes her mind every day. So yesterday, she had this conversation with me about wanting to be a ballet teacher. When I asked her the same question today, she said she was going to be a princess and she would be a ballet teacher tomorrow. Some time ago, she also wanted to be the air traffic controller she saw in Toy Story 2.

For Muffin, right now, we think he would just like to be a bus driver or a crazy race car driver. But anyone who sits in a bus he drives would feel extremely ill and convinced that their driver was out to kill them.

Whatever it is, they have stipulated (well, two out of three of them anyway) that they must be able to wear their rainboots to work. For Evan, any construction job with rain boots would not seem too out of place. For Jordan, she will be a tomboy-ish princess, rain boots with her evening gowns or ballet outfits for that matter. Alternatively, she could be a rocket engineer but she would only design rockets that were girly and grew flowers in them. Never mind that the flowers would all wither and burn to ash from inter-galactic heat! But at least she gets to wear space boots.

At this point, I am supposed to say that I would be happy with whatever they want to do as long as it makes them happy. I don't really know about that. Yes, I would like them to be happy in whatever they do, but I would also like them to not have to worry about money so let's see what kind of balance they can strike.

Technorati Tags: twins, childhood ambitions

Counting shells

2011-09-02T00:57:00.004+08:00

The last time I was on long leave from work, the twins were about 20 months and I discovered how to make coloured pasta shells and decided they were the best toy/ learning tools/ entertainment system etc. Two years on, I am once again on leave and I still love pasta shells. My repertoire for what I can do with them has grown.

Added to my arsenal are the big egg cartons. Together with a couple of flash cards and we've got a game for the kids. It's colourful, it's entertaining and it's educational. I have tricked a reluctant Jordan to read in this manner and I have tricked a dexteriously clumsy Evan into manipulating his fingers to drop relevant numbers of pasta shells into the relevant rows.

And it's a great game for them. We play it early in the morning or in the half an hour between getting them ready for school and going down to catch the bus.

I like doing these sorts of things for them because real sets that do the same thing cost a whole lot of money. This way, I get to save the money, recycle items, make colourful pasta shells and custom make it to the needs of my kids. I had decided that not only did my kids need to be able to count (1 to 5 is easy for them), I wanted them to be able to read the cards, follow instructions and carry out the combined tasks.

So what is needed is
1. A 6 x 5 egg carton
2. A bag full of pasta elbows (preferably the cheap ones).
3. Hand and body lotion for sensitive skin.
4. A pack of white debate cards and a pack of coloured cards.

We got a few note cards. Coloured ones for the corresponding colours. 6 cards with the numbers spelt on it (6 because the egg carton was a 5 x 6 carton). The twins needed to

a) Draw one card from each pile
b) Combine the cards to read something like "four yellow"
c) Proceed to find four yellow pasta shells and place them one by one in the egg carton
d) Place the cards at the end of the row
e) Go on to the next one until the entire egg carton is filled with different coloured, different numbered rows of shells.

I am certain one can use the egg carton and pasta shells for other Math related activity. I suspect that introducing division on this would be a lot easier and fun with this. But that's a while more. For now, I am trying to enjoy the bright hues of food colouring colour on the pasta shells.

It's time to make another batch of it soon. Baby Muffin-zilla has crushed and stomped on more than I care to remember.

Technorati Tags: twins, home made games, counting skills, reading skills

Inherent contradiction

2011-08-29T23:59:00.006+08:00

Jordan is an inherent contradiction.

She is a girly girl. She loves pink, she loves princesses, she loves dressing up. She will also speak to you gently, because that is how young ladies should speak.

But at the same time, she will unceremoniously holler at her brothers. She is equally at home in an ugly pair of rain boots and is secure enough in her femininity to carry around a Thomas the Tank Engine umbrella.

At home, she fashions outfits out of whatever scraps she can find. She will use anything, biggish pieces of cloth, towels, her dresses, my clothes to create a particular look. Often it is to have her legs and feet covered. Thankfully, her idea of Princess fashion is somewhat puritan and I am going to let her keep it that way. Her latest creation was with a big piece of gauze a friend passed to us. Hold it up with a hairband and hours of pretend 'wedding' fun will follow. Evan occasionally obliges to be her prince and will dance with her and kiss her in a way that, if they were not 4, would be disturbing on some level.

Funniest fashion moment so far was when she berated her father, who had bought a pair of Air Jordan's. She accused him of wearing her shoes. Obviously, there was no arguing his way out of that one because as she very sternly pointed out, the box had her name on it.

Packrat's response was that he was looking after it for her. While it calmed her down and went in search of Mommy's heels instead, I don't think that in a million years would Jordan ever fit into a size 10 but then, at least Packrat got his shoes back and they fit. Talk about a Cinderalla complex re- inventing itself in the 21st century.

Technorati Tags: little girls

10 days of being home from school

2011-08-22T21:18:00.006+08:00

The twins have been home for the last 10 days. Their school had to shut because there were 16 cases of HFMD in a school that was 800 big.

Anyway, when that announcement was made, there was a great collective gasp among the parents. Our thought bubbles could have all combined into a loud, resounding big one that would have read "WHAT THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THEM FOR 10 DAYS?" Upper case included in the thought bubble.

But as with most things, we get through it as best as we can and there are some moments of great annoyance and exhaustion but some priceless ones too.

So here are 10 things that they did in the last 10 days.

1. Make a grand mess of the house.

I got a delivery package that was totally environmentally unfriendly because it was packed with styrofoam. Before I could stop the children, they were playing at it being winter time and throwing 'snow' off chairs onto the ground and singing "Frosty the Snowman". The house looked terrible after that, but the twins and Muffin included knew enough to get the cleaning equipment, brooms, dustpans etc and cleaned up the mess as best as they could. I stepped in but they did most of the work, thankfully. And only at 1 1/2 and 4 is sweeping actually a fun activity.

2. Engage in expensive extra activity.

I was toying with the idea of just keeping them with me without spending an extra cent but that would mean
a. I wouldn't have any time to do errands like buy groceries.
b. I wouldn't have any time to get any of my work done.
c. Selfishly, I wouldn't have any down time at all let alone time to myself.

Packrat told me not to be ridiculous and just put them in the art class that they wanted to go for. So I caved, took out a big stash of my hard saved money and paid for them to be entertained and out of my hair for 3 hours a day, 3 days in a row. The outcome: They had a lot of fun and created many pieces including, a plaster/ clay genie lamp anda nice canvas of the genie from Aladdin.

But one thing for sure, I am not sending them back there. The paintings are identical because the teacher maps out similar things for them to paint. Only the colours vary. And the little bit of individual touches on their work, the teacher actually complained and explained to me that my children were always too interested in exploring painting through other means, like using their fingers to dot instead of the brush that they were to use. In my book, it's art, it's their work and it's fully legit. In my book, an art teacher that says that should.not.be.an.art.teacher.

3. Play with toys.
This sounds like something they would do all the time but the truth is that there is so much for them to do that they sometimes miss playing with their toys. Evan has developed a great love for vehicles. So toy cars, ambulances, trucks and planes are his flavour of the month. He is looking thrilled here because his beloved Uncle Mark bought him a new seaplane. He had an old jetliner but it was looking more and more like just a tube because his Destructosaurus brother Muffin had managed to break off the wings and one of the wheels. When I demanded one morning that he was to share his plane with Muffin, he burst into tears. He claimed that if he lent it to Muffin, Muffin would break it and he would have no more airplane and Muffin had already broken everything else of the plane. And even then, because I ordered him to share it, he weepingly passed it to Muffin who thereupon went round banging the already banged up plane around the house while Evan sorrowfully looked on. On the quiet, I asked Uncle Mark if he could pick up one for Evan and Evan was chuffed at the new addition to his fleet. He still seems to have a soft spot for his banged up one though.

4. Playing make believe and dress up.

Just as Evan loves his Hotwheels and and cars, Jordan loves playing make believe and dress up. Of course, she loves everything related to princesses and getting married. I let her figure out what props she can use to transform herself into a princess. Afterall, Cinderella did that too. So she uses blankets, my old maternity skirts with elastic waistbands and random pieces of cloths to fashion long gowns that cover her toes, which is apparently a true sign of a princess.
Her latest acquisition was a long piece of gauze, which with the aid of a hairband turns into a long train for the Little Miss Make Believe. She occasionally ropes Evan in to be her prince and he has to dance with her, escort her and kiss her.

5. Children's Season at the Art Museum

I am very late to this, but it was always hard to find time. With their time off from school, I took them, together with their grandma and it was great fun. My only complaint was too much sensory stimulation and when I came out, my brain felt immensely tired! Both kids liked the empty room where they could build train tracks up the wazoo and send trains down their engineering feats. From the experience, I am clearly not cut out to be an engineer. I could never get the tracks to go in the shape and direction I wanted them to.

The other twin pleaser was where the kids could slip giant discs down panels to create panels. They liked the shopping baskets they used to cart the discs up and down and running up and down to see what pattern they had created. They have asked to go back and I think we're going to try to find some time despite there being only 7 days left in this month!

6. Watch a lot of television.

The twins have learnt that Mommy doesn't like it when they watch too much television. So they unabashedly tell me to leave the house or tell me to bring them to Grandma's and leave them there. I am not to stay. I mostly accede because it gives me time out from them. I am mostly amused by their ability to know who to play and who not to mess with. It is a wise skill for them to learn from so young.

7. Play with Muffin

When they are not fighting and trying to wrest something out of his vise-like grip, they have lots of fun playing with Muffin. They play catch with him, hide and seek, peekaboo and generally run amok round the house. There is lots of screeching (Muffin), screaming (Evan) and squealing (Jordan). There have been many moments where I leave the house to go sit at a cafe where it is quiet and I can hear myself think.

There is Muffin in the picture but you can't actually see him because he's whizzed by.

8. Learn strange phrases

Possibly a product of watching too much television but the twins have taken to exclaiming very loudly gems like "Oh my goodness!" or "Oh man!" or "Cheese Gromit!" I suspect if we gave them another year or so, they'd be able to actually hold a conversation with quotes from their various favourite shows.

9. Eat grown up food.

In the week and a bit that they were home, they tried eating in increasing grown-up-ness, granola with milk, scalded baby kailan with no taste whatsoever and crocodile soup. And they loved the crocodile soup which is more than I can say for myself.

10. Exert their independence in strange ways.

We live on the 14th floor. The twins will either take the lift to the 13th floor and walk up one or take it to the 15th floor and walk down one. They throw us out of the lift and want to do this on their own. Baring the lift breaking down inside, I think it's a great thing for them to be learning.

So, there, 10 things. And more importantly, I survived although I am desperately in need of a long kid-less holiday right about now. And someone please throw in a spa too!

Technorati Tags: twins, HFMD, Art Boot Camp,

18 months of Muffin

2011-08-18T18:20:00.005+08:00

Muffin turned 18 months this month. It's so quick. I still call him baby but at the same time, I am well aware of how quickly he is growing up. This is further accelerated by the fact that he worships the ground his siblings trod on and he imitates them, making him grow up seemingly faster.

All the child development books divide development into the different aspects. So let's see where he is on the different planes.
Cognitive development
Muffin is still pre-verbal although he surprises us with nuggets of difficult words occasionally. The regular rhetoric is usually repetitive sounds- "Mama", "Papa", "Korkor", "Bear-bear", "Duck-duck", "cold-cold", "no-no". But when he feels like it, "Bubble", "Bathtub", "Turtle". His favourite family of words are words denoting action including verbs. "Go!" "Jump!" "Up!" "Down!" And of course, "NO!"

He also loves imitating his siblings so he can hold a crayon and scrawl. Unfortunately for us, it sometimes ends up on our walls. He has favourite songs that he will clap and groove too and he clasps his hands together in front of his chest to indicate "Please!"

He understands instructions and is a wonderful little helper, bringing things back to the kitchen or helping to clear up the big messes after their mega play sessions.

Social and Emotional Development
Muffin has a fiery temper. He gets pissed off when he doesn't get what he wants. He screams and he throws himself dramatically on the ground and wails. But it passes as quickly as it appears and he is soon laughing and has forgotten what he was so royally annoyed with.

But he has a great time playing with his two siblings. They fight a lot, he terrorises them with his teeth and he has no qualms hitting them. Nevertheless, his siblings include him in their games and he has learnt to play with them. Getting them to chase him. Seeking them out when they are hiding and waiting for them to catch him at the bottom of the slide.

He is also happy to shower everyone with hugs and kisses, waving at strangers and giving everyone a nice big grin. But that is on condition that I am with him. Without me, he is suspicious and will not budge if a stranger approaches him. Thankfully, somewhat kidnap proof.

Kinesthetic Development

This is where Muffin excels. He walked at 8 months, started running at 1 and is one tough cookie. He has no fear and doesn't cry when he falls and hurts himself. The only time he really cried was when he whizzed down a wet slide so fast and landed on his face and bled through his gums and lips. Even Mommy cried with that one!

Anyway, our little Speedy Lightning McQueen owns the playground. He jumps, he hops, he throws balls and attempts to catch them. He goes up and down stairs with confidence only slightly less than his siblings 2 1/2 years older than he is. And he also does scary, heart stopping things like jump off the dining room chairs, my mattress which is about 2 feet off the ground and his latest- flipping himself backwards off the arm rests onto the couch.

The number of scraps he gets himself into running around like Speedy Gonzales and hunkering down to tackle whoever is in his way, I think I need to get him an American Football uniform to keep him safe from himself. Sigh. I miss Baby Muffin more than anything. The one who didn't bite and kick so much. But then when toddler Muffin flashes that toothy grin at me, it's hard to resist. He's totally got me suckered.

Technorati Tags: 18 month old toddler, developmental milestones

Good things come to those who wait.

2011-08-13T23:10:00.005+08:00

It took 3 years to get the twins into their current kindergarten. It is the living in the west curse where the good schools have waitlists that could snake round SIngapore twice over. I tried to call when they were 9 months old to find out a little more about the school only to be told that they would be number 66 and 67 on the wait list.

So, while we waited, I put them in other schools that were less than desirable.

The first was a childcare playschool that had great and caring teachers but failed to meet the exacting grammar standards of a parent who is also an English teacher. It took all my restraint to not whip out a red pen and circle a poster that announced proudly that "SHEEPS eat grass". The only thing that stopped me was that my children were looked after by these teachers and I didn't want them poisoning my kids or anything.

The second was a highly desirable school by local standards but once again failed me, the parent who desired a creative and experiential learning experience for my children. So the school we were on wait list for rang to say they were ready for the twins, I grabbed them, turned tailed and ran away from the cloistered classrooms plastered with worksheets, dark corridors and severe lack of playground space.

So was the wait worth it?

In a nutshell, yes. No school is perfect and this school isn't either. But it's great by most standards and most clearly shown last Friday.

Friday was their project open house. For most of this term, they've been busy with projects, Jordan on flowers and Evan on sand. This meant field trips to the Botanic Gardens, planting sunflowers, eating sunflower seed sandwiches and craft, poetry and song about flowers for Jordan and a trip to the beach, a mega art project of a sandcastle in the sandpit and sand plaster craft also coupled with song and poetry.

Friday was their showcase. And Evan, my usually reticent in crowds Evan was flushed with excitement as he pointed out very knowledgeably all the different pieces that he had done. He told me about different sand textures and and showed me the plant he was growing. He was most proud of the mega sand castle that they had built in their sandpit and it was complete with moats and all.

Jordan, on the other hand, was a little bit distraught because I didn't make it in time to her class for her big show. The little show star was put right smack in the middle because she sang the loudest and was the most animated. But because her main audience wasn't around, she decided it wasn't worth performing. But even with her, I was floored by the chalk art that she had done, the little laundry bags with flower print and puff paint. And she was so obviously proud of what she had done and she could tell me exactly what she was doing in every photo that was put up on the wall.

All in, it was great and I was happy to see that they were having so much fun learning. And because they are in different classes, they end up having more to talk about and tell with one another.

I do hear that some of the children from the kinder find it a problem when they get to primary one because it is so regimented and so different from spending time walking round visiting the rabbit hutch and vegetable plots. On one hand, I want to worry about that but on the other hand, I wouldn't trade it for another different programme. More open house photos are on the JED Facebook page.

Technorati Tags: twins, school, learning through play

Eat worms

2011-08-12T08:53:00.003+08:00

I love that I can teach my kids silly things like that.

It all started with me moaning that "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms!" and eliciting the response of "Mommy! But I love you!!" and "Don't eat worms Mommy! You will get a stomach ache!" which I thought was very sweet and very funny!

Now, it's their favourite ditty and I love it!

Technorati Tags: twins, Nobody Loves Me Song

Playing it Safe

2011-07-31T14:42:00.005+08:00

Yesterday, we were at a school function with the children. We let the 3 kids run amok because it was an open air area but at the same time, it was enclosed. It was on a roof top garden. The 3 of them had a whale of a time, making friends with Packrat's students and being greatly entertained and indulged in a manner that we, the parents do not.

The issue came later when I was told that I should have kept a closer watch on them, especially Jordan because she was a girl and things can happen to little girls. I understood the concern but have not stopped wondering whether the people who told me that were being too paranoid or I was being too relaxed with her safety.

If it was an open area, filled with strangers we didn't know, obviously we would have not allowed them to run off the way they did. Because these were students, most of them knew Packrat and there was really no place they could disappear to, we set them free. But of course, it takes just one freak incident for any situation to not be safe anymore.

And that is the problem. And that makes it hard for me to figure out how safe is safe and how safe is paranoid? One of the big things on my list to teach them is independence and to be streetwise. I really have no desire to bubble wrap them and to police their every move.

On top of that, there is Muffin. My little fearless tornado that gets into all sorts of scraps. Just last week, he whirled himself into the lift and before anyone could hop in with him, the door closed sending him on a vertical tour of our block! Thankfully, he stayed put and didn't go a wandering. All he did was bawl his eyes out while he waited to be rescued, which he was, on the sixth floor by a couple who recognised him and brought him to the ground floor where we were waiting.

Of course, there was great temptation to point fingers and assign blame. Especially when I imagined all the horror scenarios that could have befallen him. But I think the incident made me also realise that much as I want to protect my children, it takes a split second for circumstances to move against us. And I can't be hyper-vigilant and watch all 3 twenty four hours a day, every day.

I suspect all I can really do is to hope teach my children to look out for themselves, trust those that help me care for them when I am not around and pray really really hard that their angels continue to deliver them from harm. More than that, I really don't know what I could do!

Technorati Tags: Children, safety

Little piranha

2011-07-28T11:03:00.004+08:00

My parents- in- law and Packrat both regale with fondness and glee how my brother-in-law used to go around biting people. They also regale with much glee how they eventually scared him into stopping by slamming down a pair of old, rusty pliers in front of him and threatening to do a psycho-dentist thing where they would yank out his offending enamel coated weapons one by one. That apparently stopped him in his tracks quite effectively.

I am contemplating the same thing for Muffin. Muffin is a biter. He goes around biting everyone willy-nilly. Sometimes for no reason, sometimes because he is majorly pissed off, sometimes because he wants to tell you he loves you. Whatever the reason, out come his little fangs and he sinks his teeth into whoever has either pissed him off by denying him something or as a sign of affection, like a puppy.

The problem is at 18 months, he has no concept of what rusty old pliers are and how yanking his teeth out one by one will hurt a lot. That makes the threat useless.

But we must put a stop to this biting behaviour. He doesn't have a snout we can smack when he does this. I did smack him on the thigh this morning when he sank his teeth into his sister, forming quite a perfect dental mould on her arm. He cried pitifully and lay there weepy and sobbing for five minutes.

But knowing the little piranha, it's not going to be long before he gnashes his teeth and sinks it into another poor unsuspecting sibling slash parent slash caregiver. He's very inclusive that way. He doesn't discriminate. He bites all, everyone, all the same.

Technorati Tags: siblings, biting

Own Time Own Target

2011-07-23T20:32:00.005+08:00

Before I got pregnant with the twins, I read a book by Naomi Wolf called Misconceptions. It's Naomi Wolf using her unplanned and somewhat traumatic C-section as a springboard to talk about how the maternity system in the US is highly interventionist and possibly takes away power from the mom. That set the stage for what I wanted and didn't want from a birth when I had kids. With the twins, I was sorely disappointed that I couldn't have the natural birth that I wanted. But the safety of the twins came first. But the minute the babies were out of me and I was lucid enough, I was able to articulate very clearly in my head that my next birth was going to be natural.

When I was pregnant with Muffin, I fought very hard to get that natural birth. I contemplated changing doctors, I read up on VBACs (Vaginal Births After C-sections), I talked to people and I bugged my doctor no end. I resisted his suggestions of planning a C-section and I threw rocks at the sky when it was nearing T minus 0 and Muffin hadn't made an appearance. And until today, I am still supremely awed by Muffin's birth and it makes me glad that I stuck to my guns and that my doctor while pushy did not pressure me into making a decision I didn't want to make.

The problem is I have come to realise that Muffin's birth story isn't very common. The above sight isn't the norm in Singapore. No epidural, not strapped to a machine (I opted for the wireless tracer), the ability to walk around the delivery room and if you spy in the corner, a MacDonald's Iced Lemon Tea that provided sustenance, relief and cold sweet distraction. Most doctors in Singapore are pro-intervention. They were obviously not schooled in the Packrat school of thought that believed that everything happens in good time (this was what he kept telling me while watching me hurl rocks in the sky and yell at God). And this makes me very angry.

I am hearing stories of doctors, I know not all are like that, but enough for me to be angry at a large section of obstetricians in Singapore, who 'force' their patients to abide by what they want. Packrat and I were very clear on how much risk we were going to take with the VBAC. As long as Muffin was okay and I was okay, we were sticking to that birth plan. But what of doctors who tell their patients, many of them first time moms that they should induce at 38 weeks because the baby is fully formed and there is a risk that the baby might at some point go into distress or have the cord wrapped around the neck? Never mind that there is no evidence of that. And what of doctors who induce their patients who have not even entered the early early stages of labour. No cervical dilation, no bloody show, no Braxton Hicks even? I was led to believe that those were signs that the body gave out to signal that the baby was ready. But when these signs are not there, why induce?

It really irks me. Of course, the same doctors provide caveats. "Oh, you don't have to if you don't want to." What lay person would take up the challenge of openly defying their obstetrician? Particularly if the patient was a first time mom? No mom would dare to take that risk. Shouldn't it then be the responsibility of the obstetrician to provide the best options for the patient and her child? How can it be right to scare and bully the patient into agreeing to an induction just so that it is convenient for doctor? I mean, what other reason is there when there is no imminent danger to the mother or the baby?

I feel so helpless when I hear about these things. Especially when I've seen how they don't work out and end up with a very unplanned, painful and drugged out C-section. And I feel so helpless that countless women think that this is their only option and they follow it blindly, be in more pain than necessary and be more traumatised than necessary. And who am I to tell them? I hold no clout. I am no obstetrician. I only have my own experience to go by.

This makes me sad. This makes me angry. But this reminds me that I can't do a damn thing about it no matter how much I believe it is not the way babies should be born.

And all I can do is pray or call the New Paper.

Technorati Tags: pregnancy, natural delivery, intervention free births

Parting is such sweet sorrow

2011-07-21T23:08:00.002+08:00

The twins are not in the same class at school. People always ask if they are. The common perception is that they should be because they will feel lost otherwise. I used to think that too. After all, they did spend most of their waking time together, even if it was fighting with one another. So, when they went to play school and pre-nursery, I asked that they were put together.

In the current kindergarten they are at, they are in separate classes. It is policy there. I was nervous about it at first and the twins were a bit lost as well. But they seem better for it. We have discovered that Jordan was used to depending on Evan. She would wait a split second before answering or she would just follow whatever he did. And in that way, being on her own has forced her to focus her attention on the teacher and to learn to follow instructions independently of her brother who is many classrooms away.

When I was in primary school, I had a set of twins in my class. I used to think it would be cool if they took turns to come to school. After all, they were identical twins and I could only tell them apart on PE days when they wore different house t-shirts. I thought of all the ways I could get away with half the amount of work and half the amount of time in school if I had a doppelganger of sorts.

But that was me as a kid. This morning, as a mother and an educator, I was reminded why I should never send the twins to the same school, let alone they be in the same class.

I had asked Jordan to write some numbers while I took a shower. Evan was off doing goodness knows what. When I got out of the shower, Evan comes up to me to show me Jordan's book. When questioned about what he was doing with his sister's book, his response was "Jordan did half, I did half! Good right?" True it was cooperative effort, but not in an area where it should be.

We can tell very clearly whose half was whose. But two halves here don't amount to a whole. And then, my GP's (who has teenaged twins) ominous warnings about twins and the shenanigans they get up to, resound loudly in my mind and I know I am in for a lot of trouble in the not too distant future.

Incidentally, the squiggles and attempted star are Jordan's way of rewarding herself for numbers well written.

Technorati Tags: twins, learning

The Colour Pink

2011-07-18T22:27:00.001+08:00

Evan loves pink shoes. He doesn't like anything else pink. He doesn't have a pink shirt or any pink clothing but he loves wearing his sister's pink Crocs clogs. He would choose them over his blue ones or grey ones. And I have no objection to him wearing them out. He looks good in it and he's happy with it. I have even let him wear a different coloured shoe on each foot.

Anyway, Evan wears the pink Crocs on a school trip and returns home with his first lesson in gender stereotyping. We are about to go out again and I tell him to just put on the Crocs that he had worn earlier. He shakes his head and rummages in his shoe collection for a more 'presentable' pair all the while muttering that his friends had laughed at him and that boys couldn't wear pink.

When I asked him what happened and he repeated out loud what he'd said, I was extremely saddened because he had this injured look in his eyes and a resigned acceptance that it was undesirable behaviour. It wasn't like he had spat on someone. But the judgements of four-year-olds are harsh.

Part of me felt that it should be left alone with no intervention on my part. Packrat and I did make a point to tell him that if he wanted to wear pink shoes, he was most welcomed too and should he get laughed at again, he should say that there was absolutely nothing wrong with wearing pink shoes. The other part of me, the more protective part of me wants to go to school, find out who said that to Evan and smack him silly or dress him in a pink tutu fairy dress.

I am in the midst of reading this article that talks about how kids learn resilience when they have to fight their own battles and when their parents don't make a big deal about it. Much as it pains me to see my son hurt by such accusations, I can only arm him to defend himself against rude little kids who only parrot what their parents say to them. The rest of it, is up to him to figure out.

But out of all this, I truly hope he doesn't stop wearing pink Crocs. Personally, I think it gives him a bit of spunk. But that's Mommy talking.

Technorati Tags: twins, gender stereotyping

Hand Carry

2011-07-17T22:10:00.004+08:00

We are going on a big family vacation at the end of the year. And when we went to Phuket in June, our friends' daughters had their own cabin bags. The twins then started pestering us for one each. We promised that we would buy them one for our year end vacation.

Two days ago, I spotted these bags at Isetan. They weren't prohibitively expensive so I thought I would get them for the twins. The Very Hungry Caterpillar one for Evan and the Charlie and Lola Mermaid one for Jordan. There was another Charlie and Lola one, so I grabbed that one for the twins' cousin who would be going on the same trip.

To say that they were chuffed would be an understatement. They spent the entire afternoon playing at going to the airport and packing their bags to go to America. They wouldn't let me look at what they packed but they put a lot of thought into it and in a most grown up fashion, wheeled it to the car.

I finally managed to sneak a look in after they fell asleep and was extremely amused. Evan packed like a boy. All toys, Thomas the train, some musical instruments, a box of flashcards, a fake birthday cake and a pair of boots. He will be entertained and his feet will be dry. Never mind that he will be naked. Jordan was a little bit more responsible. She packed a dress, a pair of underwear, a story book, a note pad and some jigsaw puzzles. Of course, in the rocking and bumping around in the back of the car, the jigsaws have dislodged themselves and good luck to her trying to figure out which piece belongs to which set.

It's funny to get a glimpse into their heads and actually see what they deem as important.

My conclusion, boys will be boys. I think Packrat is only just a bit better when he packs.

Technorati Tags: twins, travelling, hand carry

No fear

2011-07-10T22:22:00.004+08:00

Every other day, Packrat reminds me that it was all my doing to use the Mandarin term for speed as Muffin's Chinese name. It is something he does not let me live down. The reason for that is because, truly, Muffin is a combination of Lightning McQueen and Dash from the Incredibles. And on top of that, totally fearless.

This means, he gets into a whole lot more trouble than his siblings when they were his age. It also has to do with the 'Monkey See, Monkey Do' syndrome where, despite the fact that he is 2 1/2 years younger than the twins, he follows them without thinking.

We love watching his exploits although there are times when it is hair-raisingly frightening. Him, coming down 10 steps all by himself or scaling to the top of our gate when my back is turned are incidents that are definitely not good for my blood pressure. I sometimes feel that he needs to be put in a hard hat and some bubble-wrap just in case. On top of that, the littlest is on his way to being underweight. His growth pattern seems to show a little bit of a dip rather than on the regular growth curve. But since his favourite activity is jumping/hoping/ skipping, it's no wonder.

This is his latest exploit where he hops off the step. He doesn't whine when he doesn't stick on his landing. He just gets up and does it again. I just hope he doesn't get it into that fearless head of his that if he can hop off one step, what is two or three or ten?!

Technorati Tags: 17 month old, kinesthetic ability

Taking the bad with the good.

2011-07-07T23:01:00.004+08:00

I've been at home from work for the past two weeks.

It has been a strange sensation.

The good things about it.
1. I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn. I am often mercifully left alone till about 0630 when the onslaught of children descend upon Packrat and myself. If it's been a really bad night, meaning it was so hot I didn't sleep well, I snap at them grumpily and try to snooze for another half an hour. Most of the time, I try to allow myself to lie around till close to 7. I am in the midst of training the twins to only come into the room when it is light out. So far, not to very much success. But still, it is better than 0530.

2. I get to hang with the kids when they are at their best of moods, well, most of the time anyway. They are happy, rested and chatty in the morning. We have breakfast where I end up serving them a buffet of food. I am constantly amazed how much my below average to average 4 year olds consume. On a typical morning, Jordan requests for one to two soft boiled eggs, a cup of milk and fruit. If she is hungrier, a slice of cheese toast and some cheese cubes on top of that. Evan eats at least 2 slices of cheese toast, another slice of cheese on its own, a pot of yogurt, an apple and a bunch of grapes. Sometimes, he tops that off with a cup of milk as well. I stare in wonderment at my fruit bill. It comes up to as much as my meat bill every week. But there is great joy in seeing the twins scarf down everything I set before them. Now, if only Muffin ate the same way.

Most of the time after breakfast, we head down to the playground. There are many reasons for this.
a. To get out of my helper's hair. If I am stressed by having 3 kids within an apartment, she must feel worse.
b. To expend some of the energy of the littlest. Muffin is a mixture of Lightning McQueen from Cars and Dash from the Incredibles. Either of which spell destruction in a small apartment. Combine the two, that's why the playground time is important. And often, after that, he goes down for his morning nap, no problem.
c. The twins get playground time in school but not everyday. Call me old-fashioned but I think kids should be out in the open and climbing and chasing one another round most of the time.
d. It's a non-threatening environment for all three kids. Their inhibitions are down and they are not trying to compete for Mommy's attention. It is then that I can really see the older two looking out for Muffin and taking care of him. Of course, this doesn't come without instruction and orders from me. But they willingly include him while playing catch, wait at the bottom of the slide for him and take his hand when they are walking. When I have to tend to one in the event of a fall, crash or stumble, I am able to order the other older sibling to stay by Muffin's side and they obey.

3. I get to schedule some sort of routine that doesn't revolve around the television. At their grandparents, the easiest way to sedate the children was to switch on the television. It meant feeding, clothing and medicating them was a breeze. I don't say very much because I know it is already to great inconvenience that my children are at their grandparents'. But now that they are home with me, I get all the say. And the kids know I am not kidding. So we manage to find time to do a little bit of reading in English or Chinese or a little bit of Math or dough time. Once they are done with that, they get 10 minutes on youtube while I take a shower before they go down to catch the bus. It works well. They are cooperative and they know they need to keep up to their part of the bargain before they get their 10 minute iridescent fix.

4. Muffin time. Muffin time is hard to come by when the older two are constantly asking, doing and fighting. So when they are in school and he's had his nap, he hangs out with me. We sing, we play silly peekaboo games and I try to encourage him to speak. He's not cooperative there but he does have strong powers of association. Why he is wearing boots in the photograph is because he found a toy boot. When I told him what it was, he toddled up to his rain boots and brought them to me. He clomped around in them for the rest of the time I was home.

The bad things.

1. I feel slightly lost. I spend a lot of my time ferrying them around. I figure now that I am not working, why pay so much for bus fare for the twins. So on days that I can, I pick them up from school. And now that they do swimming and Chinese, I am the one that takes them about. So at the end of the day, all I often comment on is the state of traffic on the road. Not much else. At school, I would be as exhausted at the end of the day but I would know why. Now, I can't quite account for it but am similarly knackered by the time all 3 kids are asleep.

2. I worry about money. I got my last official paycheck. I suddenly understand the phrase 'eating me out of house and home'. As I said earlier, my fruit bill is equivalent to my meat bill. And the twins go through bottles of fresh milk like it were water. I don't stinge when it comes to their food but seriously, how come my 4 year olds eat so much?! On top of that, Jordan has started ballet lessons and we figured it was high time we attempt to asthma-proof our children by enrolling them in swimming. And all this adds up.

3. Because I worry about money, I try not to spend a lot of it. I yearn to go to nice tea places with my friends. I yearn to shop. I yearn to get new skin care products. I yearn to go to the spa. I yearn to restart ballet. But I dare not do any of it. But the bad thing about that is I end up feeling slightly resentful that even though I've stopped work, I haven't done much for myself.

But would I go back to work?

When I see Jordan share her food with her brother willingly, when I see Evan read his Chinese words perfectly and Muffin attempting to bunny hop in his oversized fisherman boots, the answer is clear.

Not. A. Chance.

I just gotta figure out how to get round the bad things.

Technorati Tags: twins, motherhood

Christmas 6 months early

2011-06-25T23:04:00.006+08:00

Every year, at the end of June, we are inundated with birthday cakes and parties. It's because 4 years ago, on my birthday, my doctor decided enough was enough and took me off the meds that were keeping my body from going into labour and sending the twins out into the world. And since we'd made it to my birthday and there was no danger of the twins sharing the same birth date as me, I agreed.

Who knew that even then, they had a sense of humour and popped out the next day.

So, since then, we've had our birthday celebrations together. And of course, because I am at the age where I don't particularly like being reminded that I am no longer young, most of the attention goes to them. Of course, in the odd moment, I do feel a little bit left out and sidelined.

Packrat is great because he tries to make it about me. He tries to bake me a cake (last year), orders my favourite cake (this year) and encourages me to get my friends over to celebrate the day.

But most of the time, it is about the twins and this year, we were caked out. A Strawberry Tinkerbell cake for Jordan, a Chocolate Tom and Jerry cake for Evan, an ice cream cake for all three of us and a Lana cake for me. Too. Much. Cake.

But it wasn't only about the cake. To them, it was finally also about the presents. They are at the age where they know how to play with toys and are appreciative of presents, especially Evan. Now, as a parent, I finally understand the thrill behind setting up toys after they go to bed to see their reaction when they see it first thing in the morning. Evan looked like he couldn't believe he had a Hot Wheels car set that sent cars whizzing off the track into oblivion. And Jordan woke me up wearing the Cinderella dress I promised she could wear on her birthday. And to temper all these material excesses, we explained to each twin that since they got so much for their birthday, they had to give something to those who didn't have the same privileges as them, especially on their birthday. So they each put in some of the money they were given for their birthdays into the offertory bag. And our intention is to go round the house with a bag and have them pick out toys that they are willing to give other children.

Because my birthday always fell within the vacation, I never had it celebrated in school. Plus I think it wasn't a big thing when I was a child. But the twins are conditioned by their schoolmates to expect that Mommy will bring something to school for them and their friends. This goes against my whole stand against goodie bags and how it promotes waste and materialism so my compromise was we get their cousin to bake little cupcakes for everyone and my goodie bags consisted of healthy snacks that I would feel my own children as an after school snack.

They reacted very differently to the experience and it was very much in line with their personalities. Evan was sheepish and didn't really like the fact that everyone was making a fuss, rejecting his birthday crown and opting for a less ostentatious birthday sticker. Jordan, on the other hand looked like she had been named Queen for the Day.

Sheepish Evan versus beatific Jordan with destructive Muffin who toppled over some of the cupcakes.

The only family photograph we got from the 2011 birthday season.

And this, I felt was the funniest photograph of the lot.

Now, on to the 2012 birthday season. They will be five then. Too quick. Me? I have 3 kids and my oldest two are already 4. Judging from the spots on my face and the muscles that are not as tight as they used to be, man, I am old!

Technorati Tags: twins, birthday

Breathing space

2011-06-24T21:02:00.007+08:00

The one thing I hate about the children being in kindergarten rather than childcare is the fact that they have holidays. Regular school holidays. As opposed to them being in childcare where they only get public holidays and certain other days off! That means that during the vacation time, we have to entertain them and figure out all sorts of things to keep them occupied because otherwise, the house is the mess and our helper would go nuts because of the mess they would create.

So, even though, on a regular month kindergarten is cheaper than child care, come holiday months, the amount of money we fork out to keep them occupied is about the same as a month in childcare! We became philosophical about it. And we drew the line at anything academic. So we signed them up for fun stuff and physical stuff especially (so that they would be tired out).

By the end of the vacation, they had
1. Learnt how to do forward and backward rolls and a variety of jumps (Gymnastics $170 for 3 days)
2. Painted on umbrellas, made photo frames and t- shirts ($130 for 2 days)

3. Learnt various dances from the Wiggles and created hats and swords for props ($200 for 5 days)

4. Tried out swimming classes ($70 a month)

5. Tried out ballet classes ($160 a term)

Verdict?

The gymnastics class wasn't that fantastic although I think it is something they would have enjoyed if it was taught in English (this one was taught in Chinese) and there was real equipment. The art class was well worth the money and they were most proud of their umbrellas. The Wiggles Dance Camp exhausted them the most but I think it was there that they really had a lot of fun. The highlight for Evan was the water-cooler that dispensed cool cool water and for Jordan, it was the fact that she could wear pseudo ballerina clothes to class. What amused us the most was how they'd decided that dancing meant spinning around and becoming as dizzy as possible and taking down as many people as possible.

Was it a waste of money? I don't think it was. It occupied them, it gave us some time in the morning to do our errands or spend with the little Muffin and it was much better than the year I put them in child care for a month and they ended up with HFMD and seemed traumatised by the experience. On top of that, they were only in school for about 5 days that month. Was there a better alternative? I know moms who planned excursions every day for the kids. We did our fair share of that in the afternoon but most of the time, we just included them in the running of our errands. And most of the time, they seemed perfectly happy with that. But to purposely plan to do stuff with them, sometimes. But not always. Of course, it wouldn't be a holiday if they didn't watch copious amounts of television so that would definitely be on the list.

But I am glad we have resumed regular programming and they are back in school and some semblance of peace is restored. Now to find time to do my own stuff like my eyebrows, my nails and perhaps even a facial. After a month of just being Mommy, it's time to go out and have a little bit of fun.

Technorati Tags: twins, June vacation

Survival

2011-06-21T23:47:00.003+08:00

An ex- colleague once complained that everyone in Singapore sent their children for swim lessons. Very few people taught their children how to swim. She claimed that her husband did; in a rock pool in South Africa. While I am in awe of her husband doing that, I don't think I trust myself to teach my kids to swim.

To me, of all the silly lessons out there for parents to waste money on, this is by far the most necessary.
1. It is important to be water safe. Not because we live on an island but because generally, water safety is important.
2. It strengthens their lungs. Every national swimmer that has been interviewed talks about how they started swimming to get rid of childhood asthma. While I don't particularly want the children to become national swimmers (the broad shoulders on Evan or Dylan would be okay but definitely not Little Miss Petite)
3. It teaches them coordination as do a lot of other things but I think learning how to breathe deeply for swimming is a great endurance builder. I was a swimmer before I was an athlete and I think a lot of my endurance came from the gazillion laps I did in the pool.
4. I never want them to be in the situation I was in when I was about 5 and tossed into the pool by my brother, who had totally forgotten that I didn't know how to swim. He got a earful from my mom and I got swimming lesson after having my lungs fill with water as I slowly bubbled my way down 3 metres of chlorinated pool.

So the twins start lessons. The original plan was to start before Club Med so that they wouldn't get too much of a shock while at Club Med being elbow deep in water activities. But cough caused us to switch it to after and it was a good thing too. Because they spent so much time in the water at Club Med and much of it under hawk eye supervision and with floaties on, the twins though became extremely water-confident.

This was more important for Evan than Jordan. Evan, having slipped and gone under before had been tentative about water worried that he would once again choke and consume a gallon of water through his nose. Club Med proved that he could be in the water without that happening and that was a great confidence booster for him.

Jordan, on the other hand, has no problems with water confidence. In fact, she is so confident in the water, it is dangerous. For her, the importance is water safety. Despite the fact that the waves were hammering at the shore line, our fearless girl runs straight into the waves that we were warned had great rip current.

Initially, I hesitated. I worried that the chronic coughs that the kids get would return once they get into the pool. But Packrat stood his ground and said that there would never be a good time and since we ALWAYS have cough meds on standby, we should just bite the bullet, let them build up their immune system and toss them into the deep end.

So swim lessons. Once a week for 45 minutes. It's a start and perhaps, I will change into my swim clothes and laze in the water while they learn how to blow bubbles and kick!

Technorati Tags: twins, swimming

To Papa, with love.

2011-06-19T08:06:00.001+08:00

Last year, we made a banner and tried to video the kids. This year, just on the brink of turning 4, the twins are aware that it is Fathers' Day and way more cooperative in shooting a video. Even Muffin got a little bit more involved although most of the time, he wanted to watch what was actually being shot.

Anyway, this is an ode to Packrat- the Dad who is in most part responsible for teaching the children popular culture from a young age, has taught them to eat independently, calms and soothes their nightmares away and always tries to make it easier for the Mommy.

Happy Fathers' Day and no other Dad would do for JED!

Technorati Tags: twins, newtag

Post Mortem

2011-06-14T17:16:00.005+08:00

We're back and the sheer fact that I have severe post-holiday blues lays testament to the fact that we not only survived our first solo vacation with 3 children under the age of 4 but we actually found some time to enjoy it. But even though it was great fun and we weren't exhausted during our days in Phuket, I am flat out exhausted now. I attribute it to the blues. So just highs and lows.

Highlight of the trip for us

Body surfing in the waves despite the warnings of rip current. But that meant we had swim wear filled with sand and sand everywhere.

Highlight of the trip for the twins

Swimming twice a day. Toasting them to a crisp. Thankfully the Club Med GOs took the sunblock rule very seriously so the twins were sun kissed but didn't have the pain that Packrat had from forgetting to sunblock his shoulders.

Highlight for Muffin

It's a toss up between chasing his siblings round the room, watching television with them and letting the waves crash over Mommy and sending torrents of sea water over him.

Most bummed out moment for us

Discovering that Evan left my precious Ipod on the shuttle service to the airport.

Most stressful moment(s)/hour for us

Muffin not being able to settle all through the flight back and and crying and struggling so hard he threw up all over me. We became one of those parents that other passengers hate and talk about.

Most stressful moment for the twins

Well, Evan actually. Being dropped off at Mini Club and realising he had to do big boy things like play basketball. He was more mollified when he was told he could stay in the complex and ride around in cars.

Most stressful moment for Muffin

Being dropped at at Baby Club every morning. He began to recognise the path we took to Baby Club and would cry in protest. It was hard for me to do but we thought it a necessary introduction to separation and childcare. So, it was actually stressful for all involved.

Most proud moment

When Evan ran straight into the waves, overcoming his water phobia. I guess that's what being in the water twice a day for 4 days would do to you. If that doesn't build water confidence, nothing does.

Favourite food from the buffet table

For Packrat, it was pork. Done all ways and one meal, we swore, every part of the pig was used in some dish or other. For me, the Thai curries. One word. Lemongrass-y.

Favourite meal of the day

Lunch. All the kids would be fed at their respective clubs. And us adults could sit and chat leisurely and pretend we were 6 adults, unencumbered by young 'uns. Plus lunch seemed to always have a better fare than dinner.

Most bizarre thing(s) we saw

A fat millipede that was a foot long and a lizard that looked like a snake with legs.

The one thing I am glad I did was bring Muffin. Even though he was the one who was the most trying, crying because he wasn't used to the bedtime routine, the flight, the food and of course, Baby Club, I think he genuinely loved being with us. He was a last minute addition to our travel plans and I was thrilled to spend time with him and enjoy hearing him chuckle and laugh.

So, verdict: Would we do it again? In a heartbeat. I miss it already.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, Club Med Phuket

Trains, planes and automobiles

2011-06-09T22:58:00.005+08:00

We survived today.

Packrat exclaimed over a very late dinner that today was the first time he's spent an unbroken 24 hours with the children. His point was that he was pooped. My point was that he survived and only Evan cried today because his sister took the window seat on the plane on take off. Well, Muffin cried occasionally, but he wasn't the toddler across the aisle who cried herself hoarse, but not without spewing all over the carpet of the plane.

Even though Phuket is an hour and a half away from Singapore, it has been an exceptionally long day. It began for Packrat at 9 am when he left the house to take the twins, by MRT all the way to the airport. It was a brilliant suggestion because packing for 3 children under 4 was a difficult task to complete on its own even when one didn't have 3 children underfoot.

And underfoot they got because they were so wired about going. So much so that the older two threw up in the morning. I would have panicked, except for the fact that the vomitting was followed up with many excuses as to why they threw up rather than the usual claim of "I am sick, I need to go to the doctor."

The trip from the airport to Club Med itself was another hour and by the time we got there, we were exhausted by all the travelling.

It would be very unlike me if I wasn't stressed about something. Today, it had to do with how and what to feed them. We hadn't really solved the problem but each child had something to eat, whether healthy or not. Following that, a shower, some tv time to wind them down. Strangely enough it was Muffin who took longest to fall asleep.

Packrat says he's keeping his fingers crossed that the rest of the days would be less frantic. I am just glad we survived the journey unscathed.

Technorati Tags: vacationing with 3 children, Club Med, fatherhood

We're going on a vacation

2011-06-08T23:40:00.002+08:00

Parodying one of the twins' favourite books,

We're going on a vacation. (to Phuket)
We're going on a big one.
What a beautiful day.
We're not scared! (Well, actually, Packrat and I are! It'll be our first vacation with all 3 kids and ZERO reinforcements)

Check back in 5 days to see if we've survived.

Technorati Tags: vacation, 3 children

Exasperation

2011-06-07T06:26:00.001+08:00

Whoever said that there were perfect children in the world obviously had not had children. As parents, much of what we talk about when we meet fellow parents is to talk about the exploits of our children. It is also the reason I came up with the JED page. Because I wanted to record the exploits as it happened.

Most of the time, the exploits are harmless and funny to us. But once in a while, you get one way out there in left field that makes your blood boil and make you wish you didn't have a 'no-cane' policy in your household.

Jordan, a few days ago, decided that it was too troublesome to thread her Mary Jane shoes. These were pretty dinner/wedding/party frock shoes that I had bought from the US. But Little Miss had gone up to her doddering Great Grand Father who is 94 years old and asked him, most prettily to help her make her shoes more comfortable.

Between the two of them, they came to the conclusion that snipping off the straps was the best thing to do.

This elicited an almost audible WTF reaction from me. My brain practically exploded when I saw what had been done. And the wrath of Mommy was unleashed onto the unsuspecting little girl. I told her that she that she wasn't going to get another pair of shoes in a while and every time she went out, she had to wear her shoes of shame. There were many tears from her but I stood my ground and made her traipse home in them. Of course, because of the fact that her shoe had no straps, she kept losing them as she walked. Cruel Mommy told her too bad. She made the shoes, she had to walk in it.

Of course, Packrat thought it was just funny. He didn't think it was a big deal. Clearly, he didn't buy the shoes and he didn't know how hard it was to find her pretty shoes. Admittedly, I have had a great time telling people about it. But I am still mad at her for doing something so silly.

Perhaps, leaving the shoes around will remind her of the silly thing she did. And I am determined to not buy her a pair of shoes to replace it for as long as I can.

Technorati Tags: twins, parenting

My Decision

2011-05-31T10:05:00.002+08:00

For the past half a year, I have had more balls up in the air than I am able to catch, despite how much octopus training a mother naturally gets by sheer virtue of being a mother. Because of how much effort it has been just to go through the motions of everything that needs to be done, I've fallen sick more times than I can care to keep track and in more serious ways than I have ever experienced, requiring two surgical procedures, albeit minor and thousands of dollars in medical bills. At the same time, I apparently have become thin enough to be a poster child for 3rd world hunger and have ground my teeth in my sleep to the point that my molars are beginning to crack. And all that, is just me. I think I have neglected my children somewhat even though I have tried very hard not to. But because there is only one me and I have had to spread myself very thin across job, children, husband and running the household, everything has had to suffer.

So my decision, which has been 3 years coming is to stop work. Yes, I did that once before but not to great success because half way through that, I found myself pregnant and in need of going back to work to cover the expensive maternity bill and the sheer fact that I had another child to feed. This time, the exhaustion and the sheer lack of inspiration at work has made the decision much clearer and easier to make.

There is no doubt I will miss certain aspects of my job. I will miss my students who have been the only reason why I stuck it out for so long. But as I told them when I announced I was leaving, much as I love them, I love my own children more and they are the ones who really need me. I will also miss very dearly my medical benefits (which I hope I need not utilise when I am less stressed out and less exhausted) and my monthly income that gets punctually deposited in my account every month on the same day. But when I weighed it out, I really couldn't justify my professional existence.

So I look forward to a life of financial uncertainty where I will be able to spend the mornings with all three children, afternoons hopefully doing something relatively meaningful and most evenings with my husband. Perhaps this way, I will save my molars, Muffin will start uttering more words and the twins will continue to blossom in their funnily insightful ways and I will have more energy to hold coherent conversations with my husband at the end of the day.

I just need to remember not to get pregnant this time round.

Technorati Tags: motherhood, raising children

Equal Partnership

2011-05-23T06:15:00.002+08:00

Recently, I found myself explaining to a bunch of students the idea that bringing up children in tomorrow's world was challenging. I cited cost of living and the massive influx of values as the main reasons. But I did add that the one aspect that might actually be slightly easier would be parenting. The reason for that assertion that was within an increasing number of young families, the father's role was no longer the silent-distant- bring home the bacon one.

I am thankful that Packrat is a father like that.

Recently, I have been massively, way over my head swamped. And despite him working hours that are longer than mine, he has gallantly stepped up onto the plate and taken over much of the parenting. He revolves everything around my schedule, makes sure that I spend as much time as I can with the children before rushing off and then takes over with a smile that reassures me that my children are in good hands.

Of course, the anal slightly obsessive me cringes when he tells me that the children watched the entire Toy Story movie (Eyes!) and that when he took all 3 out to breakfast, Muffin had a little bit of hotcake (Junk food!) or that Jordan concussed in the car after a busy morning and proceeded to take a 2 hour nap (Late bedtime!). But I grin when he tells me with such pride that he made roast potatoes for the twins and they polished off one (Jordan) and three (Evan) potatoes each and that Muffin took a long nap on our bed.

And when I see how happy (but tired) he is and how the children are chirpy and in high spirits, I am thankful. It is not because they have been fed, bathed and had their teeth brushed. But because all I want, when I am not around is to know that they aren't missing me and are having a ball of a time. Never mind the small things (That is my somewhat unsuccessful mantra about parenting). It is something that I really need to learn and Packrat is a master of. I think he has a much less stressful time parenting because he just rides the crests of their moods and doesn't try to fight it. Me, I am constantly in the the 'children must not get away with doing something wrong/disrespectful/defiant and we need to get things done' mode. But that is why I am constantly stressed and Packrat isn't.

So I am thankful. Not only for him being able to both metaphorically and literally scoop up all three children but because he reminds me, not just by words but by his actions that parenting doesn't always need to be stressful.

And when I ask the more verbal of the kids what they did with Papa, in the terse-to-the-point way that 3 1/2 year olds speak, I am told by one, 'We did silly things.' and 'We had fun' by the other.

That just about sums it up.

Technorati Tags: parenting, fatherhood

Creating worlds

2011-05-08T21:50:00.001+08:00

The twins' two favourite books right now are Zog and Harold and the Purple Crayon. If given a choice, it would be some Disney Princess' interpretation of a fairy tale or Thomas the Train and his coal carrying exploits.

I was told that I should let them read whatever they want so that it inculcates in them the love for reading. So, because of that, we have tons of Disney and Thomas books. But these are hand me downs. I refuse to pay money for those.

What I am willing to pay money for are books that offer a different take on things. Even for 3 year olds. I discovered Zog in a bookstore one day and decided that it was a good book for Jordan particularly. It had to do with dragons in dragon school and a princess who offered to help Zog out by letting herself be captured by him. She also thought regular princess things like dancing in the castle with pretty frocks were a waste of time and she wanted to be a doctor.
If that's not a message to rival Disney's not so subliminal programming, I don't know what is.

The same for Harold and the Purple Crayon. I was so taken by it because it was about a little boy who drew his own adventure. And when he got into trouble, he drew a solution out of it. I love the idea of the little boy out exploring the world. And when he got himself into a jam like falling off a cliff because he forgot to draw the other side, he drew a hot air balloon to save himself.

The first time I read it to the twins, Evan was particularly puzzled because he couldn't understand how Harold was making it all happen by drawing with his crayon. But in the last week, he has slowly come round to it, telling me to pretend when he gives me fake food and creating stories.

I like that they enjoy these books. I hope that it'll teach them how to come up with their own stories and to realise that no one should tell them what they can or cannot do with their lives.

Tall order?

Technorati Tags: twins, reading, Zog, Harold and the Purple crayon.

Only Child

2011-05-05T06:02:00.003+08:00

Being the youngest of three children, Muffin hardly ever gets our undivided attention. It doesn't seem to bug him much because there are always people, including his siblings, who are around to play with him. But it bugs me, as a mom. And what bugs me more is that I am hardly able to do anything about it.

So when the opportunity presented itself for me to take Muffin away for just a night by himself, I took it. And I am glad I did. My littlest relished in the new experience of being in a hotel; jumping on the bed and burying his face in the crisp sheets and soft pillows. He didn't need very much else for entertainment. He loved just having his parents all to himself, constantly laughing and grinning and taking ages to fall asleep. When he did, he snuggled in between us and woke much later than usual for his milk.

We didn't do anything extraordinary. We did regular things, like having dinner, having a bath and having breakfast. We just did it in what was an irregular place for Muffin. And by changing the environment, even regular things became a novelty.

I know parents who struggle with one child would hate me for saying this but I really loved just having one child around. The sense of freedom and the very much reduced level of stress were enjoyable. We could have dinner, for the most part while he entertained himself by making a mess out of a bowl of rice. We enjoyed a semblance of conversation with friends and we got to sleep for a reasonably long time.

I'd like to do this again if possible.

And what happened to the twins while we took this little sojourn with our youngest? They were in the hotel earlier in the day while Muffin was home napping. They played with cupboards and watched snippets of the Royal Wedding. When I took them home and picked up Muffin, Jordan fell asleep for the night in the car and Evan got to watch whatever he wanted when he got home.

All in, everyone was happy. The twins weren't all too perturbed about us not being home, especially with their beloved grandaunt around and the knowledge that they would return to the hotel for breakfast with us. Muffin was happy basking in the attention of being the only child and we were happy and excited about just enjoying the increasingly funny and cheeky boy that is growing up very rapidlybefore our eyes.

Technorati Tags: third child, staycation, Singapore

Home Alone

2011-04-28T06:11:00.003+08:00

I had a long day yesterday. I came home about 12 hours after I had left the house. That meant the kids hadn't seen me nor I them for 12 hours. I missed them dreadfully. And so did they.

They all showed it in different ways when I got home. Evan was whiny and clinging. He burst into tears at any slightest provocation. Jordan was all hyper and had a grin that threatened to split her face in half. She kept wanting to cuddle up to me. Of course, that irritated her needy brother who wanted Mommy's space all to himself. And then, there was Muffin, who was already asleep when I got home but woke a little while later and stayed awake for another hour slapping and poking at my face while I pretended to play dead.

I didn't change out of my work clothes till near 9 and had barely any time to put down my bags before I was descended upon.

It really is an exhausting role with many balls to juggle. And after they all go down, I turn and look gratefully at my long-suffering husband who had been deflecting the "Where's Mommy?" "Why is Mommy taking so long to come home?" "Why is Mommy so late?" questions the entire evening and sigh. We are too exhausted to hold a conversation with each other. We just have dinner and watch television, relishing in the silence and peace, at 10 pm in the evening.

It's no wonder some moms choose to stop work.

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, working mother

In Conversation with Muffin

2011-04-26T05:54:00.002+08:00

If Muffin could speak, this would be how he would answer the following questions.

Q: What is your favourite time of day?
A: 5.30 in the morning when I've had enough sleep. Never mind if everyone else hasn't.

Q: Who are your best friends?
A: Evan and Jordan. They recently taught me how to stick out my tongue at Papa and blow raspberries. Papa was pretending to be displeased.

Q: What do you like doing best in the day?
A: Climbing. I like climbing on tables and chairs. I like climbing on the table and watching the world go by. I like the chairs because it helps me get to the tables. Or the things on the table.

Q: You are coming to 15 months. Do you know any words yet?
A: I know more than I let on. And I'm not letting anyone dictate when I'm going to say them. But when I feel like it, I call "Papa" and "Mama". I know "Up", "Down" and "Jump".

Q: What are your newest hobbies?
A: Dancing and speaking on the phone. I didn't know my body could move that way.

Q: Who do you talk to?
A: I talk to anyone. I tell them about what I've done the whole day and I tell them about how I'm annoyed that they won't let me talk on the phone for long. Something about how other people might be trying to call in.

Q: If there was one thing you could lay your hands on, what would it be?
A: Mommy's phone. She keeps pointing it at me. And after that, sounds that sound like me come out of it! Perhaps a mini Muffin lives in there!

Technorati Tags: 15 month old toddler, cognitive development

Gun Control and Easter

2011-04-22T20:54:00.003+08:00

Some time ago, I was having a conversation about the Church's stand on Harry Potter. It wasn't unusual for the Church to preach from the pulpit that Harry Potter was evil literature. The person I was talking to pointed out that our senior pastor's view of the whole uproar was a rather condescending one.

"They think that God needs looking after and protecting?" he chortled apparently.

I took that to heart because I really liked Harry Potter and I wasn't about to give the series up.

Today I had a conversation with Evan that made me think of that and made me chortle.

Today is Good Friday. I told Evan that. He asked me to put on the song the Old Rugged Cross in the car. I used the opportunity to tell him that Jesus died on the Old Rugged Cross today thousands of years ago. The following conversation ensued.

Evan: Why did Jesus have to die on the cross?
Me: Because he loved us and so that we could go to heaven.
Evan: We have to go to heaven to protect God.
Me: Who do we have to protect God from?
Evan: From the soldiers, with guns.

We have always maintained with the children that guns were not a good thing. In their mountains and mountains of toys, there isn't a single gun. On the rare occasion when they ask, we tell them to use their imagination. So the conversation continued...

Me: Why do we have to protect God from the soldiers with guns?
Evan: Some soldiers with guns are bad. Some are good.
Me: So do we have guns?
Evan: We only have pretend guns. Almost all good soldiers have no guns. Papa has no gun. So we need Jesus to die for us.

I hope they continue down this path.
And, of this, I am at least certain; that the NRA isn't going to get his subscription. And the thought of Evan having God's back is both absolutely heartwarming and hilarious at the same time.

So, Happy Easter everyone!

Technorati Tags: twins, Good Friday

Father's daughter

2011-04-22T08:52:00.004+08:00

I failed art in secondary school. And I failed it dismally! One of my best friends and I became best friends because we were the only two in class that couldn't make a still life of a papaya look like a papaya.

Packrat, on the other hand, was the president of the Art Club in his school. On one hand, the jockette in me mocked it mercilessly. On the other hand, I was filled with admiration because he could illustrate quite expressively without much effort.

Jordan takes after her father. In the recent months, she has taken more and more to drawing, colouring and writing. And we are proud of her etchings. Me more so because of my inability to draw beyond a flower and a snail.

I had also blogged previously about her reluctance to read. It is still an issue but I have figured a way around it that she seems amiable to. She likes writing and I've taken to getting her to label every drawing she does. And hopefully by doing that, she will also pick up some words.

Evan is a little bit more like me. He can't quite draw and he can't quite write. Some people say it is a boy thing. So I leave him to it. I sneak in little bits of practice here and there to get his grip stronger. He loves scrawling, especially on glass. So erasable marker pens are his thing. He's attempted some drawing but they are no where as detailed as his sister. But I give him credit for trying. Plus he can actually read the days of the week.

Technorati Tags: twins, art

Christian education

2011-04-13T06:33:00.008+08:00

One of the things that Packrat and I decided on before we even had kids was the fact that we wanted to bring up God-fearing kids.

Proverbs 22: 6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." was something that resounded strongly with us.

And on top of that, we had made a commitment way back, when we were trying so hard and failing so miserably to have kids, that we would dedicate our kids to God.

So, we've tried to keep to our side of the bargain. We baptised the kids the minute we got a chance to. Muffin recently got baptised and in true Muffin style, he shoved away the hand of the minister with a "why are you getting my head wet?" glare.

But we are most pleased with the twins and their seedlings of faith. We made the decision to send them to a Christian kindergarten because we wanted them schooled in a Christian environment. And it is heartening what they have learnt.

It being the Lenten seasson, the twins have been told the story of the Crucifixion and the hymns attached to the season of Lent and Easter. They come home asking to sing the Old Rugged Cross and talking about Jesus dying on the Old Rugged Cross.

Even on a regular day, Evan's current favourite book is the Bible. Our Bible. Not the colourful children one with child-safe pages, but ours with thin paper pages. They know the difference between the Hymnal and the Bible and love singing hymns with their Great Grandfather. When Evan is upset with the stormy, thundery weather, Jordan will volunteer to pray and ask God to protect Evan. Evan, in turn, asked us to pray for God to heal Jordan's tummy when she was ill recently.

That has greatly warmed our hearts.

Their foray into the Christian faith is also amusing. I posted on The Amazing Adventures of JED the funny comments that Evan has asked, reflecting his curiosity about God.

Evan: Jesus died on the old rugged cross. There were 3 old rugged crosses.
Mommy: Why were there 3 crosses?
Evan: So that Jesus won't be lonely when he dies.
Evan: Mommy, what is the Holy Spirit?
Mommy: Erm... The Holy Spirit is part of God.
Evan: Can you switch off the fan?
Mommy: Ok. Why?
Evan: Because the Holy Spirit is in the Bible and the fan is making it fly away!

I like that he is asking and I like that they like it when we read from the Bible to them. Although to them, it's just a boring ol' story book with pictures. I like that Jordan is sensitive and empathetic enough to want to pray for her brother and I would like to keep it this way.

A lot of it is our responsibility and it's a big one to shoulder. We try to do something every night but what with us being busy and tired and the children sometimes being disagreeable and brattish, it can sometimes be a challenge. But it was explicitly told to us at the baptism class that this was what we were expected to do for the children. So we will endeavour.

It is also times like that, that make me think creatively of how to get Jordan into the mission girls' school of our choice. It is virtually impossible to get her in. The alternative option is a secular, competitive, hot-housing girl-eat-girl school which I am reluctant to send her to but might not have any other choice about.

For Evan and Muffin, it is set. They will go to the mission boys' school their father went to. It is my daughter that is school-less. And in the past few months, seeing the spiritual growth in the twins, it has made me rethink long and hard about trying to get the girl in!

Someone asked me, in all honesty what I would do if Evan asked to be a minister (a religious one, not the political type although both wear white). She thought that I might not approve of it because some parents don't see it as a good career path for their children.

My response is a God-fearing one. If God tells Evan to go into ministry and serve Him, who are Packrat and myself to stop him?

Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, Christian education

Why girls shouldn't serve National Service

2011-04-11T06:46:00.002+08:00

Girls should not serve NS because they might insist of serving it in pink.

Girls should not serve NS because they might insist in wearing a dress to do it.

Girls should not serve NS because they might want to wear a shawl over their dress while marching.

Girls should not serve NS because they might not be able to keep their helmets on their heads.

Girls should not serve NS because they might try to still look cute while trying to shoot.

Technorati Tags: girls, National Service, Singapore

Guilt

2011-04-08T23:09:00.003+08:00

Guilt.

Guilt is when you worry that you are not spending enough time with the youngest.

Guilt is when you are so exhausted that you wish you didn't have kids just so that you could get a good night's sleep.

Guilt is when you feel that you never have enough time to spend with each child and are shortchanging every single one of them in one way or other.

Guilt is when you have someone point out to you repeatedly, how much your children miss you while you are work.

Guilt is when you are told quite clearly that you should not be working.

Guilt is being told how much wrong you are doing to your children by working.

Guilt is when you are told that the only way your children are happy is for them to have you by their side all the time.

Guilt is believing that you are a lousy mother because you want to work and be intellectually challenged and not to mention financially independent.

Guilt is what makes you believe everything that is said even though you know you couldn't possibly try any harder.

Guilt is you wanting to say f$&k it but instead you just take it because part of you actually believes that you deserve it.

Guilt. A word that tears down rather than builds up.

Technorati Tags: raising children, motherhood

Malingerer

2011-04-08T06:26:00.004+08:00

Jordan has been very ill. High fevers that only occasionally break. No appetite and a runny tummy that has sent her scurrying to the toilet 6-10 times a day. She hasn't been able to go to school.

Initially, Evan seemed okay with it. He would get on the bus on his own, stay back for his enrichment classes quite happily. When we pick him up, we brought him fro-yo and all sorts of little treats to reward him for doing the difficult.

This was until yesterday.

Yesterday, was Day 4 of Jordan's illness.

Evan decided, enough was enough. He wasn't going to do what he was supposed to do. He was going to do what he wanted to do. That was to stay home and play with his sister. And he was going to do whatever it took to achieve that.

So it started with complaints of a stomachache, a headache and a sore throat and that he couldn't go to school. When that didn't work, there was crying, kicking and flailing and hiding when the school bus came to pick him up. So he got his way, he didn't go to school.

But that didn't last.

When I came home, I was puzzled that he wasn't dressed to go out and asked why. I was told, in a most annoyed tone by his grandma, that he had said he was sick and didn't want to go. She let on that he hadn't been in school earlier in the day either.

Much of the time, when I get angry with the children, it is out of annoyance or frustration. It was different yesterday. It was pure, unadulterated anger at the child for skipping school. It may not seem like a big deal. I am way beyond being a child and I still fantasize and long to be able to skip work and do nothing.

But I wasn't going to let him get away with that. It would mean setting precedence for him to do it again when his sister got sick again. And it would allow his sister reason to do the same thing.

So it let loose and unleashed the horror of a mother angry. And because it was also for show so that he would think many times before ever considering doing it again, it was louder and more dramatic. I told him that I was very angry with him for what he had done. I told him school was good fun and he was missing out on fun because he wanted to be sick like his sister whilst his sister was begging to go to school. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to get dressed because we were meant to go out. I told him that the present I had bought for him because I had been so proud of him for having gone to school the past few days was going to be withheld. I told him that he was not going to go to his favourite bread shop to buy bread. And I told him, as I was told when I misbehaved as a child, to wait till his father came home.

The clincher was when I threatened loud enough for his grandparents to hear, that if he ever pulled a stunt like that again, I would drive home from where ever, cane him (even though we don't own a cane!) for misbehaving despite being having been warned of the consequence, chuck him into the car and take him to school.

Perhaps he will see that as a reason to act up, so that I would come home and take him to school. But at that point in time, it seemed like the right thing to threaten. I am not sure parenting books or the Supernanny would have a lot to say about what I just did and it makes me doubt if it was the right thing to do. But I did what I thought was necessary and I think he was stunned at how pissed off I was with him. He did have enough sense and decency to be sheepish when his father came home and asked what he had done in the day to make Mommy so angry with him.

Round 1: Mommy 1 Evan 0.

I just don't know if I have the energy to keep this up though. As a non-parent, I used to wonder why it was that parents would let their kids with almost everything but murder. As a parent, I think I know why. Sometimes, it is easier to just not fight those battles.

But with regards to school, I think it will be a battle I will fight and am not about to lose. I think it's brought out the inner Tiger Mom in me.

Technorati Tags: twins, kindergarten, Tiger Mom

Security blankets

2011-04-03T08:00:00.007+08:00

The twins have security blankets. Well, in the case of Evan, it is a security Duck Duck and Jordan has a security Ellie (Elephant). They bring it everywhere. I break out into sweat whenever I imagine Evan losing his Duck Duck because it seems like they don't make it anymore and nothing else would suffice. We even have difficulty prying it from his strong little hands when we have to get it washed.

We've pretty much accepted that Ellie and Duck Duck are permanent fixtures. Evan has conversations with his Duck Duck and is surprisingly gentle with him. Jordan has given Ellie a bath before because she felt that Ellie was just a bit too dirty.

The ones we've managed to get rid off have been Jordan's pacifier, their milk bottles and most recently and hopefully permanently, Jordan's night diapers.

The pacifier was the most urgent because Jordan was lisping because of it. We had to constantly tell her to take her pacifier out of her mouth when she talked. It was her source of comfort. When she fell down and was hysterical, while still sobbing with tears, she would drag a stool to reach the box it was kept it. I worried. I didn't want her to be one of those children who looked like they'd obviously outgrown the dummy.

As with everything we need the kids to do for us, we give them ample warning. About 2 months before their third birthday, we started psyching Jordan about throwing away her pacifier. We wanted her to do it instead of us. She had to want to. But the problem was how to do that. It took 3 months, 2 plane rides and a week in another country before she let it go. Thankfully, without much of a fuss. Actually, we were the ones that made the fuss. We had a whole ceremony where we gave her each pacifier, told her to suck it for the very last time and then spit it into the bin.

We were plain terrified that she would look for it and make our lives a living hell because she used it to go to sleep. Surprisingly she didn't.

The same thing with the milk bottles. I was quite embarrassed that they were still on the bottle but I had heard horror stories of how children stop drinking milk when their bottles got taken away. And since my kids were already on the small side, I kept hedging. All the while, at the back of my head, a voice kept nagging; it's bad for their teeth, American child care centres wouldn't take in charges unless they were off the bottle (so it could be done!) and so on.

Once again, the twins surprised me. I presented them colourful sipper cups and told them they were big children and didn't need the bottles anymore. Evan even added "Only babies drink from bottles." Indeed. Of course, if given the opportunity, they would prefer the bottle. Afterall, it is easy, it is familiar and they have had the same bottle since they were 1!

So I learnt two lessons from getting rid of two of their security blankets.

1. It's a breeze when they are ready. And it's much easier when you've already pom-pomed them into a state where they believe that they are.

2. Always get rid of the temptation to fall back. Throw it away. I left the milk bottles in their box and in a moment of collaborative weakness between caregiver and child, the bottle was used when I was not home.

Evan hasn't gotten rid of sucking his thumb. That's my next big project. I've told him that he doesn't need to get rid of his Duck Duck. He just needs to stop sucking his thumb. But the 2 are inextricably linked. Hold the Duck Duck and in goes the thumb. I just need to get rid of that association.

One battle at a time.

Technorati Tags: preschoolers, weaning, security blankets

Saucy

2011-04-01T05:56:00.004+08:00

Jordan is an adventurous eater. This is ironic because she is also a very fussy eater. She is fussy with her own food but adventurous with ours.

To date, she has tried dry chilli mee pok, sandwiches with lettuce and tomato, granola bars, seaweed, sour plum and curry. Her most recent discovery is ketchup and mustard.

It probably had to do with what she could eat the ketchup (french fries) and mustard (sausages) with and that inspired her to try them. It was the same with both. First she sniffed it, then she licked it, then she gobbled it up.

And then after that, she tries to offer it to her brother. He, however is more conservative and is unwilling to try new things unless it is deep fried and looks obviously tasty. He eyes the unnatural red of the ketchup and the sickly yellow of the mustard with its sour smell and decides that he will pass. Unfortunately for him, his sister is quite dogged and pursues him with the spoon of mustard.

The health-conscious nut in me goes "colouring!", "preservatives!", "sugar!". But the Mommy part of me is proud of her sense of adventure when it comes to food. This time, the Mommy part won!

Technorati Tags: twins, food

When I grow up, I will be a... (III)

2011-03-29T05:53:00.003+08:00

When I grow up, I will be a zookeeper or something.

One of the most important things that we teach the children and value as highly as honesty and humility is kindness to animals. I constantly warn the twins not to trample on ants, snails and anything that induces their Godzilla complexes. I use it to teach them empathy.

Mommy: Don't step on the ant?
Evan/ Jordan: Why?
Mommy: Because the Mommy ant will be said if the ant died. Just as if something happened to you, Mommy would be sad.

I haven't been able to teach Muffin that yet because he isn't cognizant enough and is pre-verbal.

I am however pleased that I haven't needed to introduce animals to Muffin in a non-threatening way. The twins needed slow introductions to dogs because of a big fierce German Shepherd near their Grandma's that would constantly bark boomingly at them. He seems to naturally gravitate towards them, nattering away ninety to a minute in Muffinspeak.

Muffin's experience with dogs are the smaller, apartment variety. He has learnt a word that approximates "dog" when he sees them. He is excited and thrilled to see dogs. But what he really looks forward to doing every morning, when he sends us off to work/school is to look for his cat. This cat is tame and is looked after by the animal-loving residents around our neighbourhood. In fact, all three kids love him. The twins tumble out of the lift full speed, looking for the cat, yelling "C-A-T! CAT!" while they search for him. Sometimes, their loud shouting scares off other cats and the twins have often given chase. I do stop them, once again using it to teach empathy.

Mommy: Don't chase the cat, please!
Evan/Jordan: Why?
Mommy: Would you like it if someone chased you just for fun?

So they don't. And Muffin takes his cue from them. They approach the cat quietly as I have taught them and they let the cat come to them. Then they descend upon the cat in a cloud of unbriddled affection. That scares me, slightly, because I know cats are unpredictable and could all of a sudden give a swipe. On top of that, I worry about the combination of sensitive, asthmatic lungs and cat dander. Thankfully, that cat is unassuming and allows us to to do almost anything with him. And the kids all know that they need to clean their hands after they play with the cat.

One reason why I would like the children to have the experience of living overseas is so that they can have a pet. Not a hamster or something from the rodent variety but a nice big dog that they can look after and take for walks. But until then, the neighbourhood cat will have to suffice.

Technorati Tags: toddler, prosocial development

When I grow up, I will be a... (II)

2011-03-27T00:43:00.003+08:00

Packrat keeps reminding me that I insisted on giving Muffin the trait of speed with his Chinese name. He complains that Muffin is too quick for everyone, getting into scraps, putting things into his mouth that he is not supposed to and climbing up on chairs and platforms and giving us a heart attack a minute.

But admittedly, the boy is kinesthetically fast. He can catch balls, kick them and is quite adept at chasing them around.

Everyone is amazed at the amount he eats and drinks and marvels at the fact that he is so wiry (read: small). But anyone who spends any time with him would know that the reason for that is that this little one does.not.keep.still. There is never a still movement with him. He is always doing something or off somewhere. I have thought about belling him so that we know where he is in the house but I think we would be driven to distraction by the constant 'ring-a-ding-ding'.

So, here he is, enjoying a spontaneous game of 'racket-the-ball' with Isaac. I am thankful that Isaac indulged him and sent him off chasing the ball up and down while Mommy attempted to have lunch while fobbing off his older two siblings.

Because I ran track and harbour a secret hope that at least one of my kids would like to run track, I always wonder if this is the one. Right now, I think he takes after his father more, with the ball sense and spatial awareness that I never quite had.

Technorati Tags: toddler, kinesthetic development

When I grow up, I will be a...

2011-03-25T06:17:00.002+08:00

Since I did a series on the twins, I figured I should do a series on Muffin. He is coming into his own nicely; developing a fiesty personality that is disguised by an easy grin.

We were at a class to prepare him for baptism recently and the speaker was describing research where parents (both Asian and Caucasian) were asked what were their dreams for their children. The Caucasian parents all wanted their children to be happy. The Asian parents all listed vocations. They dreamt for the children to be doctors, engineers, lawyers, architects etc. Very Tiger Mom I imagine.

Anyway, in the spirit of that, I've decided that I should do one of the 7 most likely professions Muffin will end up doing. Well, actually, I don't know and I don't really care but I think it will be funny to follow him around and see how much I can over-read his antics and translate them into lofty career dreams for him.

We start with him being an engineer. I never really thought of an engineer as a dream job. I didn't know parents wished it upon their children. Anyway, now I know. And perhaps, my son might grow up as son, seeing his affinity for building blocks. Or is that him being an architect? Although I have heard, it is quite difficult to make a quick and big buck being an architect.

He is also an impatient and intimidating one, constantly growling and threatening the 'evil' blocks that don't seem to want to do his bidding.

Even if he doesn't become an engineer or an architect, at least I know he'll have fun with Lego.

Technorati Tags: toddler, building blocks,

Chalk and Cheese 7

2011-03-23T13:24:00.006+08:00

The most obvious difference between the twins would be differences brought about by gender. Obviously there are the girl and boy bits differences that they are all too happy to point out very loudly to anyone who would give them time of day.

But they really are typical boy and girl.

Evan

What he loves that makes him a typical boy.
1. Buses- all kinds. Double deckers, the bendy ones that he calls the caterpillar bus, the single deck ones, school buses. He knows the buses that ply our roads and which MRT stations they serve.

2. Trains- Like buses, all kinds. MRT trains, Sky trains and he loves loves loves the Tanjong Pagar railway station. If I had had enough foresight, I would have taken him on the train before they shut operations. He also loves train tracks because trains run on them. Strangely though, while he has some affinity to Thomas the Tank (check out his clothes), he doesn't really LOVE them the way I know some boys do. I suspect it had a lot to do with an episode of Thomas that he watched where the coal that Thomas was carrying tipped over and covered all the trains in soot.

3. Cars- Actually, I need to be specific. The insignias of the cars. Walking out of the car park sometimes takes 10 minutes because he will go car to car, trying to identify the car by the badge in front. His favourites are the VW because my brother drives it; the Honda because Uncle Shaun (his bestest friend in the world) drives it and we used to drive it before Muffin came along; the Subaru because his Uncle Mark and we drive it and the Toyota because his grandparents drive it. He will chide anyone who pronounces Toyota with the emphasis on the last syllable and correct them emphasising the middle syllable. Did I say that my son also possesses a somewhat Type 1 personality?

4. Helicopters- His favourites are the Chinooks and the Apaches. Chinooks being one of the first words he uttered clearly. His grandma's house seems to be on the training flight path of the Chinook and once he hears the whirling, where ever he is, he will come running out of the house with his eyes peeled to the sky. Even when he was at child care, this love for helicopters was so obvious, it was written in his year end report to us!

5. Anything with movable parts- Toys that have mechanisms, wheels on axis, he will sit and spin them or watch them. I think if I brought him to a Krispy Kreme outlet where they make the doughnuts on site, I would never get him out of there and that would be before even letting him near a doughnut.

So, there five ways that he is very boy and all in a way that Jordan couldn't care less about. But she has, by osmosis and sheer proximity absorbed some of that knowledge just like I did, learning about military hardware just by listening to my brothers converse at the dinner table.

Jordan

1. Obviously, her Disney Princess obsession. So much so that she has named her dresses. The Cinderella dress. The Belle dress. Her latest spiel is that she will wear her Cinderella dress for her 4th birthday. She has no concept of time yet so she tells me this everyday and I pray for patience as I hear it for another 3 months and 2 days to her birthday itself.

2. Dancing- Give the girl some music and she will immerse herself in it and twirl. And she will close her eyes and prance. It's really her thing. Her brother will stand around and watch at best. Occasionally, she drags him in to be her partner but he will have none of that. I guess it's just her going to dance class.

3. Trinkets- In the picture where she's wearing her pink "Belle" dress, she is also wearing her Grandma's necklace. She loves accessorizing. And there, she's already one step ahead of Mommy because Mommy doesn't know how to accessorize. Our helper spends afternoons stringing beads for her in all lengths, making her necklaces, bracelets and anklets. All of which she will wear at the same time. Even though the school rules prohibit it, she seems to have gotten away with wearing various pieces into class.

4. Drawing and Colouring- It's true what they say. While Evan is the more intellectual of the two, Jordan is the one who has the patience to sit and colour. Usually it's coloured all in pink but there's effort put into it. She also draws, beautifully. Her drawings of girls have them with long lashes and she makes sure that their lips are red.

5. Playing house- This is a past time that occupies both children. They take on roles. Mommy, Daddy, baby and occasionally the bird on the tree. But Jordan is the one who will carry the baby, put her animals to bed and cover them with blankets. We have come home to various stuffed animals tucked in comfortably into our bed with the covers pulled up.

There are a lot of things that are supposed to separate them down gender lines but in those situations, they don't stick to their 'category'. Evan loves watching me put on my make up in the morning and Jordan catches the basketball like a pro.

But that's another post for another time.

Technorati Tags: twins, gender

Chalk and Cheese 6

2011-03-21T05:51:00.003+08:00

Yesterday's JED page update for the twins was this.

Evan was upset because of the thunder.

Jordan: Let me pray for Evan. Dear God, please make the rain go away because Evan is scared of thunder. Then, Evan can be a good boy and not cry. In Jesus' name Amen.

Both parents were stunned into silence.

Indeed we were.

Evan has many fears. The biggest fear of his is the sound of thunder. From the point of infancy, he would jump out of his skin when Packrat or either of his grandfathers' sneezed or cough. It would be followed by a woeful wail. The 'how dare you scare me like that, don't you know it terrifies me?' cry.

He still hates loud noises although he has made an exception for Apache and Chinook helicopters flying by as well as fireworks. Thunder however, remains his arch nemesis.

This is Evan dealing with a particularly bad thunderstorm during the rainy season.

Very obviously from the prayer above, Jordan has no such fears. She is a tough cookie.

This is not to say that she is fearless. Her fears, strangely enough stem from her imagination. Ask her what she is scared of, she will tell she is scared of monsters and dark caves; neither of which she has ever encountered.

She also sees how people comfort her brother when he is upset and fearful and plays off it.

On a visit to the airport, Evan discovered how intimidating looking policemen were. After that, he declared he didn't like policemen because they were scary. We tried our best to undo that fear by telling him that policemen were there to help him when he needed help. We are very much not of the school of discipline where policemen are called in times of extreme disobedience or naughtiness.

He seemed to have accepted our explanation of that when Jordan declared her imaginary fear for soldiers and he told her a matter-of-factly "But the soldiers are there to help you. They are there to help you. When you are scared, you can run up to them and say "HELP!". This was quoting us verbatim inserting soldier every instance we had said policemen.

Brave words from my timid son.

Technorati Tags: twins, fears

Chalk and Cheese 5

2011-03-10T06:19:00.004+08:00

Change bugs everyone. I get stressed by domestic change. Packrat gets stressed by professional change. Naturally, our children react to change too. All children do. But the way, they respond differently to it.

Evan

Hates change. He's weepy, clingy and whiny. He will show very clearly that he is dreading it and will remember to dread it for days after. In 3 years, they have gone to three different schools. And it's always him at the beginning that is crying buckets, sometimes to the point of throwing up.

But that's just him. He hates new things. New foods, environments and most especially, the new Duck Duck we tried to give him as a stand in for his old one while the old one took an occasional shower. Once he gets over it, it's fine. The road to him getting there often has got to do with me talking him down or distracting him by 'high fiving' him. We have a ritual every morning before I leave for work where he 'high fives' me , 'low fives' me and then subsequently 'baby fiving' me.

I have heard however, that he is blossoming into a responsible little boy who knows how to look out for his big sister who is dreamy and slightly Luna Lovegood-ish.

Jordan

On the surface, this little girl is fearless. She doesn't tremble at new experiences and has walked into new classrooms and owned the class. She is curious and she likes and is excited by new things. The only thing that will hold her back is her brother's tears. She sees her brother get attention for his tears and she thinks she deserves the same attention. She feeds off his insecurities.

But on her own, I suspect she loves the challenge. She's not very outgoing at first because she's watching and figuring things out. But she doesn't resist it. Perhaps, her Luna-Lovegood dreaminess helps because she is only aware of what she wants to be aware of and that sort of helps her deal with new things bit by bit.

I am obviously not a Tiger Mom because right now, my kids are at a sleepover at Grandma's. When we left they were still bouncing off walls because they had so many cousins there and the potential for fun was endless. Jordan didn't blink when she said goodbye. Evan needed a bit more cuddling and assurances that we would be back for them and that they were in for a whale of a time.

It's the journey for them that's different because at the end of the day, Evan has a ball as well. It's just that he is tentative at the beginning where as Jordan dives head in. In different situations, those characteristics are both good and bad.

Technorati Tags: twins, separation anxiety, changes

Chalk and Cheese 4

2011-03-07T06:31:00.005+08:00

Muffin hasn't featured in this entire series. It is supposed to be about the twins and their differences. So, it's not really about him. But he is their baby brother and one of the ways that they are very different is how they actually respond to him.

Right from the get go, there was a difference. Evan was the typical boy. Ambivalent and amused that he had a little brother but generally treating him tolerantly, because we told him to. But more importantly was that Muffin's arrival played up Evan's little insecurities. He wanted me all the time and didn't like that I had to feed, nurse or get Muffin to sleep. He whined a lot and behaviours regressed a little bit.

But as Muffin got older, he grew more protective of his little brother. He was still very boy with the way he dealt with Muffin. Not knowing how to stop him from falling or not knowing how to help me if Muffin was stuck in a mini-quandary. But at the same time, he showed consideration with his brother, would ask about Muffin's absence and would come and tell me if Muffin was crying. He also learnt how to play with Muffin. Chasing him, pushing him around in the car and showing him things. He is actually much gentler with Muffin than Jordan is; he doesn't scold Muffin and order Muffin imperiously the way Sister Dowager does.

Strangely enough, he has become very protective over his older sister who constantly gets mauled by the little baby. And that in itself was heartening to watch as well. This video was taken last August and I'd blogged about it then.

Jordan on the other hand is the BIG sister. Disregard her small size, she's a Nazi sister. She polices her siblings, especially Muffin. Evan, I suspect, she sees as an equal rather than a little brother. So most of her effort goes toward disciplining the little Muffin. She says NO to him, she takes things away from him and she heaves him out of danger quite regularly.

And we never really taught her any of this explicitly. We tell her the same things we tell Evan. Look after their brother, don't let him get hurt, don't let him walk on the road. But she seems to have taken it more to heart and taken it much more seriously. When Muffin cries, she grabs tissue paper. She does the same thing for Evan too but with Muffin, she is more forthcoming.

But at the same time, she is in love with him. She is very amused by him and wants to always kiss him and hug him. We've always had a problem trying to keep Little Miss Hacking or Little Miss Drippy Nose away from Muffin. As a result, when they have a runny nose, Muffin has one too.

Generally, their differences boil down to the gender stereotypes. She behaves typically girl and he the typical boy has possibly enough nurture ability to fillhis little toe. But the way they've reacted to Muffin has rubbed off on him. He is gleeful and makes a types of bird like shrieky noises when they come home from school and he has learnt from them how to take care of them as well. He pats Evan on the head when Evan tries to play with the stray cat despite my warning as if warning him; "Be careful, Mommy says be careful!". He strokes his sister when she falls and cries.

I want them to continue being so close as they grow up. And hopefully this looking out for each other, in their own little ways continues.

Technorati Tags: twins, siblings

Chalk and Cheese 3

2011-03-05T21:43:00.004+08:00

People always assume that I will send the twins to the same school. It makes sense. They start school in the same year and putting them in the same school saves either school bus fees or an extra trip for Mommy. But as of now, we're still inclined towards sending them to different schools. There are many reasons for such an inconvenient decision.

1. Both of us would like the boy and the girl to go to single sex schools. Call us archaic but single sex schools.
2. We think it's important that they have the space to develop without the inadvertent comparisons. They will suffer from that enough by virtue of being the same age.
3. Packrat is immensely loyal to his school and cannot imagine sending Evan or for that matter Muffin anywhere else.

But of the three reasons, I think the most important one is so that the twins get a chance to be their own person. It is the reason for this series and we think it is important for them to figure out how to be on their own. This is important not just for their character development but also their learning development. Both of them have markedly different learning styles.

Evan.

Evan is more conventional. He is academic and it is easy to teach him things like how to read. He is happy with flashcards and words. He laps them up. It can be in English or Chinese, he loves the idea of words and finding out what they are. When I first made flash cards for him, I couldn't do it fast enough. "Table!" "Chair!" "Soldier!" (Packrat was serving reservist at that time) and so on. It's the same with numbers. He recognises, when he doesn't know, he asks, when the numbers make sense (106 goes to Chinese class! Chinese class is in Orchard Road) he draws the link. He is the ideal student.

That being said, I couldn't for the life of me get him to sit down and colour or write. He knows he is not so good at that and we have sneakily incorporate it into the things that he enjoys doing.

Jordan.

Jordan is the exact opposite. She hates reading with a vengeance. Anything with words, she resists. It doesn't matter what language it is. She resists just because they are words and she has to read. But we have discovered that it is the case when the words are abstract or did not interest her. When she learnt to read "I love Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa" in Chinese, she read it perfectly and was happy to do it again and again.

I fashioned a game in desperation to get her to recognise the Chinese words for the more common body parts. She'd brought home a Chinese book from school with flashcards attached. So, with some masking tape and a living mannequin in the shape of her father, she went round attaching relevant Chinese characters to the relevant body parts. She had a lot of fun doing that although she depended a lot on her brother recognising the words first.

For her, it has to be work alone because her brother, ever ready with the answer will pipe in and she's learnt unconsciously that if she waited long enough, he would supply the answer for her.

She does however have the focus to do craft, string beads to form necklaces in a pattern dictated to her. So sneakily, I incorporated letter beads into it to make her name.

It's a big challenege, to teach them in the ways they learn best especially when in this case, they learn in such different ways. That's why I always think pre-school teachers ought to earn more money

Technorati Tags: twins, learning, reading

Chalk and Cheese 2

2011-03-05T07:38:00.003+08:00

As I am around more with the children, I end up disciplining them more. Packrat and I have an agreed upon list of things that we will not tolerate and when either twin does it, we descend upon them with the wrath of Zeus, or one of the other mighty Greek gods.

One of the things on our list is lying. At this age, they haven't really figured it out yet. Most of the time, they give us the answer they know we want, so that they can have what they want. And when we catch them at it, we are harsh with them and we make it very clear that they must tell us what really happened. It's an ongoing challenge because I think their minds haven't really gotten to the point of understanding such moral lessons yet.

But even here, they display differences.

Jordan generally tells it like it is. I won't call it the truth because at this age, they don't know what the truth is yet. Ask her a question and she will tell you what she thinks.

Evan, call it diplomacy in action, will give you the answer he thinks you want to hear; whether or not that was what really happened. We often have to corroborate his story and when found out, we nag him about how if that wasn't what happened, he ought not to have told us that. This has happened a few times.

Yesterday, the boy's desire for what he wanted trumped everything else. He wanted to watch television while having dinner. I asked if he had watched television at all the whole day and he said no, thinking that I was likely to look upon the request more favourably if he hadn't. One questioning look at the helper revealed that he had so I asked him again and he insisted he hadn't.

I had to go wash my hands so I mentioned that I would ask his sister when I got back from the bathroom.

What transpired while I was away was him scurrying up to his sister and telling her this. Our helper was still in the vicinity and heard the whole thing.

Evan: Jordan, you must tell Mommy we didn't watch television okay?
Jordan: Why?
Evan: Tell Mommy we didn't watch television this morning okay? Then afterwards we can watch television and eat dinner.

When I returned, already being told by our helper that such a conversation had taken place, I asked Evan again if he had watched television in the morning.

Evan: No, I didn't. You can ask Jordan. .

Hmph.

Asking Jordan the same question, the answer I got astounded me.

Mommy: Jordan, did you and Evan watch television this morning?
Jordan: Erm, Mommy, the television was on. Evan was watching it. But Jordan was eating breakfast.

She gave the answer Evan wanted but did not implicate herself and called it as she saw it.

Needless to say, they didn't watch television while having dinner and Evan was told that the reason why was because he told me he hadn't watched television in the morning when he did. He was very disappointed and tried to bargain.

Evan: How about if we eat at the table but the television is on, over there?

Fat chance kid. You're lucky you didn't get sent to your room without dinner.

Technorati Tags: twins, watching television, moral development

Chalk and Cheese

2011-03-03T05:54:00.004+08:00

Everyone says twins should look alike. They constantly remark that mine don't. I don't know how else to say "Of course they don't. They are boy and girl!". Anyway, they look alike, like siblings would. But the similarities stop there. I have never been the kind of mom that gets a kick out of dressing them in the matching outfits. I think that's cruel and unusual punishment. Perhaps we've always valued the sense of individuality too highly to do something like that to them. We are afterall, going to punish ourselves by sending them to different primary schools just so that they are not in each other's shadows.

Anyway, I thought I would start a series about how different they are.

Every month or 6 weeks, we take them to get their hair cut. We have long given up trying to cut it on our own. Too much squirming and it never looked straight. Plus the hairdresser has a shaver and Evan has never looked spiffier.

How differently they react to the hairdresser probably has to do with their gender.

After I mentioned that we were going to the hairdresser, Jordan bugged me no end. "I want to go to the hairdresser. I want to go now".

Evan seemed to liken it to getting his teeth pulled except he'd never had that done before but the sense of dread was almost palpable with that one.

The entire time at the hairdresser, I am struggling not to laugh. I stand between them and Jordan sits beatifically. She tells the hairdresser "Don't cut too short okay? I like it when Tita (our helper) ties up my hair".

Evan has not stopped whining about wanting a sweet. That is the only way we manage to get him to sit still. With the bribe of a tip of sweet. He squrims under the cover, struggles to dust of hair as it snows down and prickles his neck and fights all instructions to stay still and look down.

Jordan stares at herself in the mirror, as if hypnotised. She obeys all instructions even though they are given to her in Chinese and she gets a sweet but that's just because her brother got one. She doesn't need prompting.

Even then, she takes longer than he does. His hair gets taken off with the shaver, hers is labouriously snipped.

They both look good at the end of it. Jordan, a little China doll or Dora and Evan, a spiffy and handsome boy.

Technorati Tags: twins, hair cuts