Kampong mentality needed

We are just back from a family vacation to Penang. It was a great 3 days of playing in the pool and the beach although by today, it wasn't so much that we the parents needed a break from the kids (although we did!), it was that they needed a break from each other.

Anyway, we went with my parents and the last time we travelled with them, the twins were 1 and we went to Bintan.

I'm not sure how much I am  going to blog about this trip since it was only 3 days long. But one thing that kept coming back to me was the fact that JED have been spoilt silly by creature comforts in Singapore.

Things they could not deal with.

1. The general non air-conditioned side of Penang which was everything aside from our hotel room. Even the restaurant was non air-conditioned. Evan took to asking whenever we announced we were going some where "Is it air-conditioned?". The answer "no" was always met with a sigh and slouched, defeated shoulders and sometimes a whine from Jordan.

The only way to get round the heat, strip the boys' tops

 

2. Dirty, wet toilets. I can't blame them but I don't remember being so fussy when I was that young. But then again, when I was that young, I suppose all toilets were wet and dirty and that was the default state of bathroom affairs. Evan would not go to the toilet till we got back to the hotel. Jordan would insist we leave where ever we were to go somewhere cleaner with a toilet she could use. Or she would threaten to pee, ironically, in the drain!

3. Insects; flies, bees and cockroaches. They were all over the place. Flies weren't discerning; they bugged us at breakfast at the hotel as well as on the road and at the hawker centre. Because we had told JED that they couldn't eat anything when a fly landed on it, they took it seriously and declared half their food inedible because a fly landed on the rim of the plate/ glass/ bowl. Muffin would freak out if he tried to swat a fly and the fly refused to budge; he didn't buy 'the fly was probably dead' explanation at all.

We went to a fruit farm where there were not only flies, there were bees. Evan was beside himself trying to swat flies and run away from bees at the same time. They only sat still because we told them running around would make them hotter than they already were and the only way to prevent the bees from coming round was to finish their mango juice.

4. Sand everywhere. This was more Muffin. The twins are way past having issues with sand but poor Muffin hates sand stuck to the soles of his feet. Because we are going away at the end of the year again to somewhere with lots and lots of sand, we saw Penang as an initiation of sorts. Unceremoniously, despite the whining and crying and begging to be carried, we plonked him in the middle of the beach. To get off the sand, he had to trek 20 m back to the hotel. It didn't stop him from futilely dusting sand off all his skin surfaces.

Another act of futility; trying to return the sand to the sea, in an effort to lessen the offending grains of sand stuck to his feet, legs, arms and face.

Hopefully, the next time we take them somewhere less developed than Singapore, there will be fewer complaints and wig outs with more coping mechanism at hand!

Technorati Tags: JED, Penang, kids, School Vacation

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Cramping Our Style

I remember reading about the Boston snow storms a few years ago and how the many days of keeping kids indoors had them climbing the walls and the parents going mad. I worry that it is going to be a reality in the coming days.

The haze is back and all the boys in my family, Packrat included are haze sensitive. The asthma, the eczema, the teary eyes and drippy noses hit in full force. That would mean, we have to stick air purifiers in every room in the house, shut up the house, switch on the air-conditioning and have the kids play indoors. This inevitably leads to us surrendering and breaking our "no tv on weekday" rule. In this case, it is an emergency and in case of emergency, break glass.

But I feel very lost at this point. We love being outdoors. JED love being outdoors. A friend of mine said that her daughter's definition of spending quality time with her was to do projects with her. When I asked JED what they enjoyed doing with Mommy and Papa, the unanimous answer was to go out on adventures. And trips to the mall (which we don't do often) don't count. It had to include bus rides, train rides and doing things.

And this holiday has been full of that.

4 hour treks just to see a floor to ceiling tall Despicable Me minion and then eat lunch at a coffee shop on Beach Road.
The zoo in the morning.
Sentosa with their baby friend.
Hours of clowning around and swimming in the pool
Painting out doors
Jumping over drains and chasing birds
Cycling everywhere

And we had more planned.

We were heading out to the River Safari because Evan wanted to see the piranhas and Jordan the panda bears. But I am guessing it the air doesn't clear, it wouldn't be wise to be in the open for the entire morning.

JED (well, not so much Muffin) have learned to say that there are naughty people in Indonesia who burn trees. And they turn to our helper, who is from Indonesia and ask her in all earnestness "Why your people so naughty?" In the midst of trying to recover from a laughing stitch she apologies on behalf of her naughty people.  

 So, I'm not sure what we are going to do with them for extended periods indoors. They go stir crazy and irritate the heck out of each other and us. There is only that many board games and craft that we can play before we resort to sticking them in front of the television. And there is only so much television they can agree on before they start lobbying loudly for their preferred programme.

Oh please let there be a storm of superstorm proportions, or in Packrat's words "a storm that would make Vivian Balakrishnan break out into cold sweat". And we will then don on rain coats, wellies and go puddle (or pond) stomping!


 Technorati Tags: JED, haze, Singapore

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Out of the mouths of babes

Packrat's a great Dad. I need to say that from the outset. He doesn't yell at them like I do, he always speaks to the rationally and calmly and they respond to him. Granted, he is happy to feed them cake as a meal because it's got all the main ingredients for a balanced meal. But when all is said and done, he loves them, he would go to the ends of the world for them and they worship the ground he walks on. For Jordan, he's her hero. For Evan and Muffin, they want to be like Papa.

Since the twins are old enough to do put their thoughts into words, here it is. Their thoughts about their Papa.



Muffin was struck shy by the camera. But he loves his dad too; he shows it every morning by petulantly wailing and crying when Packrat says bye to him, on his way out the door to work.

So Packrat, no store bought gift, no craft with the kids, just this video, with your kids, declaring their love for you and giving you that A you deserve for being a great Papa!

Technorati Tags: JED, Fathers' Day, parenting

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Hijacked Post! Dads Matter?

For Father's Day, the Daddy Matters group invited mum bloggers to allow their husbands to "take over" our blogs and say anything they want for one post. Here's Packrat hijacking my blog and writing about what he's learnt being a dad for nearly 6 years.  

 ---

When I became a dad, I realised early on that I really was all thumbs.

My first diaper change had me almost flipping little Evan over because I pulled his legs up too high. So, I settled for being the backup parent.

I mean, mothers matter. They are the ones who seem to have it all figured out and they have the instincts that I would hardly develop over time (or training) simply because they really do not figure in my thought process as a parent.

Ondine is that parent. She ensures that the kids have balanced (and nutritious) meals while I'd take a Bill Cosby approach to eating.

And that pretty much nails the main difference between Ondine and I as parents...And why I think that mothers matter. Dads? Well, we're the accessory that comes with the mom. Fun to play with but not really why you bought the doll.

But as time has passed, I've come to realise that dads are important too. And not in the "you are half my genetic material" way, but the impact that we have on our kids through our actions (or inactions).

My sons look to me to see how men behave. They will see how I react to other people. How I work. How I play. How I speak and how I react to the world around me. They already have started picking things up and I have realised that I have to be more careful about what I do or say because they are watching and learning.

My daughter is looking at how I treat Ondine and she will see that as the way that men are expected to treat women...and I'm hoping that she will expect to be treated the same. Her own sense of self-worth will be built upon a foundation of time and attention that people pay to her, and I think that I play a part in that...for better or worse.

For a guy who's lived a life in the avoidance of responsibility, that's a scary thought. It's scary to think that I have so much power to really screw up a kid (x3) and that I'm being held up as an example. But over time, I've come to accept that maybe, just maybe, I might be doing some good too. 

So this Father's day, perhaps I'll take some time to see what kind of dad I have been...and perhaps celebrate a little.

Maybe even indulge in a little chocolate cake.

Technorati Tags: JED, parenting, Fathers

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The fake birthday party

The twins' birthday isn't till the end of the month. They've been bugging us to throw them a party. Packrat and I are of the opinion that parties should be simple. The problem is that they get invited to parties which have magicians, bouncy castles and goodie bags and they want the same.

We've told them in no uncertain terms that
a. We don't print money.
b. We are already doing a class thing where we bring cake into school (But we have told them that this is their last year and we aren't going to be doing that when they hit primary school)
c. We will have a small and (emphasise) simple party at home with their playmates
d. And since we are doing a class thing, we are not going to invite all 60 (2 classes of 30 children) to a party at home.

They agreed, thank goodness. And since we are away on their birthday itself, we thought to do something earlier on and something to occupy them and their playmates from the neighbourhood. The twins called it their Fake Birthday and went about singing "Happy Fake Birthday to me!".

It was the first party that I had planned with games. Prior to this, I had felt that they were too young and were just as happy to run around. But this time, we had games and we had activities.

For the 3rd term in school, the twins will be involved in a project with their class. It is a big deal. Jordan's class is doing books. She's selected Charlotte's Web as one of the books she wants to bring into class. So, we had decided that the party should be run on the Charlotte's Web theme.

The party ran in 3 phases. So for a home-made party, it was extremely elaborate.

Phase 1.

There was spider web painting which involved masking tape on canvases, smearing paint all over the canvas and then stripping it after when dry to form very pretty spider web designs. Of course, with any activity which involves paint, it inevitably gets onto every part of their clothes and body. We used everything we could get our hands on, brushes, sponge rollers, big painter and foam brushes (all thanks to CraftPlay) as well as eventually body parts, But they really got into it and it kept them occupied for a full hour before all mess broke loose!

Spider Web canvas painting in the open

Pretty spider webs. Evan decided that his worked great as a car track too.

And while we got things organised, there were the perennial favourites like bubble blowing (which I tried to make from scratch with glycerin and dish washing detergent) and the change to graffiti with giant chalk.

The good thing about inviting neighbour's children was that when everyone got too dirty and soapy from the painting, chalk and bubbles we could send them home with instructions to reappear at our house for more games and cake. 

Packrat outdid himself by building a huge spider web out of masking tape in our living room. The initial plan was to see how many insects (insect counters to be exact) they could feed Charlotte. Unfortunately, the masking tape was too weak (perhaps packing tape next time?) and the insects too heavy. So they flung rolled up tissue balls at it and every time one stuck, they got an insect. Jordan fell so in love with the spider web that she was in tears when we needed to tear it down and only allowed us to do so with the promise that we would build her another one. 

Little does she know that we are planning to build a web outside her bedroom door, therefore trapping JED in, early in the morning! 

All sorts of fun. Chalk, Bubbles and Sparklers.

Feeding Charlotte

There had to be cake. The twins (more secretly for Evan) have a thing about My Little Pony at this point. We toyed with getting a 3D My Little Pony cake but that would have cost more than all the art, bubble and bug supplies. The whole family really loves these muffins from Shunfu market and so instead of cake, we opted for muffins, dressed with My Little Pony and Transformers toppers. Each kid got a muffin and brought home the topper of choice.

Muffins make a great alternative to cake.

Evan and Jordan were so chuffed from the whole day that they couldn't stop hugging me and thanking me. The thanking me was a nice surprise because they weren't told by some other adult to do it.

Even though the candles had been blown and the children had gone home, the children themselves had organized the THIRD phase of their party.

Phase 3.

They arranged to meet at 7 pm, after dinner back downstairs to play with sparklers. Even though it had been a long day and it would be way past bed time by the time they were done, we thought to indulge them. Muffin didn't because he was worn out with the rest of the day's activities and was fast asleep by then.

So, we were happy that our no frills party was a great hit and I was very happy that no kid, including my increasingly calculative twins, asked for a goodie bag. They did get to go home with stuff, but they 'earned' the stuff. Insects from the games, toppers from the muffins and a canvas of their very own art.

It's the morning after the party and while we do have time today to do something with them (i.e. the Children's Season at the Museum)  both Packrat and I are too exhausted by yesterday to embark on something like that today. So we are going on a bus ride where the scenery will entertain them.

Technorati Tags: JED, Charlotte's Web, birthday parties

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Hijacked post! (or a visit to the Science Centre)

Packrat has the kids every Saturday morning while I'm at work.
All 3 of them. And here he is, writing about what he does while I'm at work. You will see how the Mommy rules don't count when Mommy isn't around i.e. Incriminating evidence of Muffin scarfing down a hash brown. But who am I to say anything when I'm not there?

For Father's Day, the Daddy Matters group invited mum bloggers to allow their husbands to "take over" our blogs and say anything they want for one post. Here's Packrat hijacking my blog.
-----
I've never really forgotten the Singapore Science Centre. I was brought there as a kid in Primary school and I remember being fascinated by the various exhibits that we got to interact with. I remember a pin impression exhibit that I was particularly obsessed by because of the weird feeling you got when you put your hand under it and I remember that being the one thing that I kept going back to.

Good times.

So I was thrilled when JED were finally old enough to be brought to the science centre and curious enough to geek out about the exhibits like I used to.

Boy, have things changed.

The Science Centre has upgraded itself completely and I'm glad to say that it's still a lot of fun.

Of course, there's a McDonald's there now where there is the obligatory hotcakes meal to begin the day with. And we had the great company of JED's Uncle Mark and Auntie Sylvia in tow, who they promptly took advantage of.

The focus of the day was the new Megabugs exhibition (On till the 18th of August, 2013). As has been the case with JED, Giant Bugs? Yes, Please!

The kids all got age appropriate activities books and they dived in immediately.

There was an interesting exhibit just outside of the annex hall where there were insect inspired fashion designs. Very cool.

We were taken through a "time tunnel" which brought us to prehistoric sized insects which both fascinated JE while making Muffin a little uncomfortable.

Well, they didn't lie about the mega bit of the megabugs. The exhibits were big!

While the exhibits did capture the kids' imaginations, the highlight for me was the guide that took us through it all. A retiree volunteer at the Science Centre, he was an engineer by trade but also a lifelong learner that supplemented what he had studied about the exhibits with nuggets of information that he had learned from other visitors to the exhibits. I was inspired by the man who had such a great passion for learning and teaching and I could see that beyond all the cool "stuff" that the Science Centre had for kids to play with, it was a place for learning...and I could see no better guide than the gentleman who took us through.

He engaged the older kids and was very informative about the various bugs that we saw there. If you have an opportunity to catch him there, ask him about the Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches or Stick Insects. He's quite the treasure trove of information.

All in all, the kids had a grand time going to the Science Centre. And as a father, I'm glad that I got to share this with them. I'm also glad to say that there's still a sense of wonder that bubbles to the surface when I enter the hallowed halls.

Technorati Tags: JED, JED, Mega Bugs, Fathers' Day

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The beauty myth

In case I sounded like I am googly-eyed about having kids in the previous posts and entirely clueless to the challenges and reality of them, I am not. I think that even if they don't read them till much later, I would like, on record some affirmation of why we enjoy them, challenges notwithstanding.

And challenges, there are many.

The biggest challenge with having girls, actually having boys too is to make sure they grow up with a good head on their shoulders. And I'm not talking about academic achievement here.

Packrat and I agree on how we don't want Jordan to grow up focusing on being pretty. As it is, with people telling her that she is 'beautiful' and 'such a princess', she is already very concerned about it. When Muffin swiped her on her face some time back and actually broke skin, it wasn't the pain or the blood that upset her; it was whether or not she was still pretty and whether or not she could get married. Some people think that I am an inherent contradiction because I enjoy the fact that she does pretty things, like ballet and art and I actually insist that she dresses properly. But there is a difference here. With ballet, art and all the pretty things both she and I enjoy, it is about teaching her to appreciate the beauty of it, the beauty of things around her (which has she a great inclination for) and not about her per se. Thankfully, she seems to know that the make up is part of the performance and the make belief.

Many around her love to indulge in her prettiness. Yesterday, she was having a conversation with an adult about her being gorgeous. I asked for her not to be called that. Of course, I got a "WHY?"

I think from Jordan's point of view, it might have sounded as if her mommy didn't think much about how she looked.

Dear Sweetheart, I was in no way saying that you weren't pretty or commenting on your looks.

The reasons why I have an issue with gorgeous which in itself means "dazzingly beautiful" or words like 'beautiful' and 'pretty' are as follows.

1. If she goes away thinking, at 6 that she is 'dazzingly beautiful', what will her standards be when she is 12 or 18 or 24? And even then, should any girl be growing up with aims of becoming even more beautiful? Semantically, it's got to do with the idea of the extreme superlatives so early on. Tangentially, it's got like telling a kid who swipes a paint brush across a canvas that he's Picasso.

2. The constant complimenting of her looks will reinforce 'beauty' as part of her identity. Who is Jordan? She is a pretty girl. The danger of that happening is that one day someone may tell her otherwise and her whole world and self-confidence will crumble around her. While her father and I and her uncles will fight to yank off the head of anyone who says that to her, girls can be mean and there's no stopping what they can say. What we can do is to mediate the amount of damage such things will have on her.

3. Beauty shouldn't be the most important thing to her. I want her to learn what the world sees of her, and I'd be kidding myself if I said that wasn't important, is about carriage, about how she puts herself together and what comes out of her mouth from her brain and heart as well as how it actually comes out.

4. My last reason has got to do with boys and Packrat. Packrat gets panic attacks thinking about Jordan as a teenager. As is, she is disarming and charming and she goes up to everyone and makes friends. He worries about the boys that will come knocking and the fact that Jordan will smile beatifically at them. He wants that to happen as late as possible. And one way that we can think of to delay the inevitable is to teach her that there are other things that are praiseworthy and to bask in. As a teenager, it isn't going to be us or her family that she is going to seek approval from. And she will need to seek affirmation on what she deems as important in her life. Woe is Packrat if she is going to be out there seeking affirmation for beauty because the boys that will give it to her, will be given too much time of day. And that's how boys get invited into the equation.

So, for those reasons and more, we try very hard to debunk the beauty myth with her.

When Jordan posed like this, we told her in no uncertain terms, "no, that's not how you stand for a photograph." Of course, I added that she looked like a North Asian tourist which totally went over her head.

I like what was said in this article about how to talk to girls and I am glad that Jordan does indeed loves books and loves talking about them and drawing parts of them out. I am glad that she has more interests that go beyond just pretty dolls and princesses although they do feature.

Technorati Tags: JED, Bringing Up Girls

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Puppy Dog Tails and Snails

My favourite game growing up was an adaptation of playing tag. The person tagging others had to be hopping on one leg and the area we played within was marked out before hand.

Evan recently discovered the joy of playing tag and we spent the afternoon taking turns to tag and be tagged. I tried to convince him to do it on one leg but I think that was being ambitious.

I taught him to run in spurts, stop and reverse his direction or to fake a reverse to confound his catcher. As I chased him, he did just that although the giggling and chuckling never stopped and got louder as I closed in on him.

I had to call a time-out as my lungs threatened to explode out of my chest, I wondered how I did this all through recess in primary school. Recess was always about inhaling food and hitting the basketball courts to play 'one-legged catch'. I remember tired legs but never tired lungs. Eventually, the girls were banned from playing it because as we hopped and ran around, our pinafores would ride up and the teachers thought it was unbecoming for girls to be playing it. We protested, of course. 

Evan just wanted to go on. It was hot and humid and we got sweaty but the simple thrill of being chased down by his mother far surpassed the heat and stickiness.

I am certain I could do this with Jordan too but there comes a thrill to rough and tumble with the boys although I'm sure that if Evan took a tumble, I would have hell to pay as the tears flowed and the howls echoed through the estate.

I have heard the refrain, 'you're a girl, you shouldn't be sweaty' implying that boys can be sweaty but girls shouldn't. I do not have problems with Jordan being sweaty, but the way I really like my boys are when they are rosy cheeked, flushed and extremely sweaty and grubby. 


 Technorati Tags: JED, boys

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Sugar and Spice and all things nice

Jordan's been away at Princess Ballerina Camp. Every day for 3 1/2 hours, she danced and sang. It culminated in a showcase on the night of the last day.

She was exhausted but you couldn't tell from the photographs.

A friend with boys once told me that nothing made her want to have a girl as much as seeing Jordan decked out for ballet.

And I agree with her.

As a rule, I veto nail polish, heels and make up on a daily basis; her performances, whether ballet or school concerts are the only exceptions I make.

And I enjoy these exceptions.

My ballet teacher once told me that all the pain and long rehearsal hours were worth it the minute she stepped on stage; the sets, the costumes and the make up, made it all seem magical. 

I suppose, for Jordan, when the music comes on and she's in make up and costume, all the make belief becomes real and she revels in it.

Packrat said that he could tell when she was flubbing the steps, when she was copying those around her because she was momentarily distracted (and there were quite a few of those moments) and when she was actually dancing full out.

 

Once again, I recall my ballet teacher, who had also said that a big smile and bright eyes made the audience forget a litany of sins. 

When all the hair pins were removed, the hair gel washed out and make up wiped off, she transformed back into my exhausted 6 year old who fell asleep the minute her head touched the pillow, regardless of wet and entangled hair.

But as I looked at her, I really couldn't remember if the lines were straight or the toes were pointed. All I could see was that great big smile on my daughter's face as she twirled, pranced and danced her heart out.


Technorati Tags: JED, ballet, daughters

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Bubble Joy

The holidays means spending a great amount of time outdoors. And the perennial favourite is still bubbles; especially now with us unearthing some huge bubble wands that make giant bubbles.

And there is still something about bubbles that makes me feel happy and peaceful too. The only thing is that I now suffer from tired jaw muscles and perpetually soapy fingers.

Now to find time to make my own!

Technorati Tags: JED, blowing bubbles

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Domestic Helpers

Our helper threw out her back on the first day of the term vacation. This meant utter chaos in the house. Evan had a Lego camp to head to at 7.30 am, Jordan- Princess Ballerina camp at 8.30 and Muffin and I had a breakfast date after dropping her.

The older two still went ahead with what they had to do but from the words "Mommy, Kakak is crying and cannot move!" at 6 am, it was non-stop action for me. Breakfast, showers, snacks and getting dressed had to be organised at break neck speed, all the while trying to figure out how to help our poor incapacitated helper.

Thankfully the twins sprang into action without my asking. They cleared their breakfast table, Jordan made the beds and Evan cleared the laundry. Even Muffin got into the act and cleared his own toys and put away the books on the floor.

While I was thankful that they helped, I actually thought much of it was novelty that drove them to pick up after themselves.

They surprised me by jumping into action this morning without prompting.

This was what Jordan did. 

She showered herself and her little brother, pronouncing that he was 'squeaky clean' after running her finger across his arm.

She helped take all the dried laundry off the hangars, meticulously putting all the hangers in a pile, clothes pegs in another and clothes in the third pile.

She hung up the freshly laundered clothes, neatly spacing them out.

She dressed herself for ballet and packed her own ballet bag, filled with snacks, water bottle and her sweater.

It showed her very careful and meticulous approach at doing things.

This was what Evan did. 

He made his own bed. 

He showered himself, dressed himself and got his own breakfast. 

He dragged into the laundry area our laundry baskets and helped load the washing machine. 

He mopped the floor in the evening.

He did the dishes.

He helped butter our helper's toast for breakfast.

It showed him to actually be a more empathetic helper. He does things that he knows will cause our helper more pain if she had to do it.

 

This is how Muffin helped

He copied his siblings. Whatever his siblings were up to, he wanted to do. So he ended up doing a bit of everything and making a big nuisance of himself as he slipped on wet floor and bruised his bum. 

His one only job was to clear up his toys. He would do so most of the time although occasionally he needed to be prodded around by the appearance of a bin and the suggestion that everything that wasn't picked up from the floor was rubbish and ought to be put into the bin. 

For Muffin, it really was about the thrill of playing with the mop and playing with clothes poles.

I know it is not much and we are privilleged since we actually have help. But as I am falling asleep writing this; exhausted from a day of soccer mom driving, work and ensuring the house is still standing, I know I could be more tired if not for them. So, I am thankful that the older two know how to help and have risen to the occasion. I am also heartened to know that I haven't spoiled them to the point that they are helpless and whiny. Now to figure out how to factor their doing of all these chores into their daily routines.

 Technorati Tags: JED, helping behaviour, children

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Saturday Morning Snapshot: Kidnapped to Phuket

Friday was our anniversary.

I got kidnapped on Friday.

Well, sort of.

I was told to pack a bag with 2 days worth of clothes and to meet Packrat at work.

When I did, he flagged a cab and told the cab driver to go to the airport. It was only when we checked in at the airport did I realise that we were off to Phuket.

 It was a part of Phuket we'd never been to before. We were on a cliff, overlooking a bay. It was a stunning view.

It was a great weekend, full of food, uninterrupted sleep and absolutely nothing to do (no wi-fi) except hang out with one another and enjoy the view.

This was our view, early Saturday morning.

If you squint hard enough into the distance, the aircraft carrier is there.

My biggest geek thrill? Spotting an American aircraft carrier and its fleet right outside our balcony.

Like I said, geek moment. We were much saddened when it turned around and left while we were at breakfast. And the geek in me wondered if it was en-route to Singapore for the Shangri-La Security Dialogue.

After ten years, Packrat just rolls his eyes at my -right out of left field- non-sequiturs.

Technorati Tags: JED, couple time, Phuket

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