Comfort

As JED grow older, they tend to be more disagreeable with one another. It is inevitable. All 3 have strong personalities and are not pushovers. Each want their way and is angered when their way is not the preferred way of the other two.

But on occasion, we see that there really is a connection between them and they really do have a soft spot for each other, under the often prickly exterior. Rather 'durian' relationship they have.

These are moments that fuel me and give me hope especially when they are so angry they stomp on each other and break each other's things.



Muffin

It was Muffin's birthday and we had a swim date gathering for him and his friends. On the day of the swim date, he came up to me to ask if I could invite his sister's friends so that she had people to play with instead of a pool full of boys.

Jordan was upset with being reminded of a memory of great-grandpa passing away and was sobbing in the back seat of the car. I couldn't get to her so I despatched her two brothers to sit and hold her while she sobbed.

Evan

Evan is the least physically affectionate. He likes when I hug him but not his siblings. He is great with words of comfort though he's logical at his most comforting. He's also calm and doesn't freak out. He will however, be a nightmare for future weeping girlfriends/ wife because he will offer logic and solutions as comfort and we all know how well that always goes down. But his logic helps Jordan see that it's not a spiraling abyss of despair and hopelessness. I'm not sure if he offers any comfort to Muffin because his tone with Muffin is often one of "I told you so". It toughens Muffin up though; he gets no sympathy from his brother and therefore knows it's not a big deal and he should stop with the whining.



Jordan

The most empathetic of the three, she acutely feels everyone else's dismay. Most evident was when Evan was leaving for camp and was anxious and worried about it. He couldn't be soothed by her stories of assurance so eventually she just threw her arms around him and held him tight. I think he appreciated that. 

They also tell stories to each other at night before they go to bed. After the initial excitement of having their own rooms, they have now reverted to camping out in one room with one sibling squished on a mattress on the floor. And that offers them comfort- for the child who is fearful of some movie he watched. The one who comes home late and knows that even if she is falling asleep by herself, she can do that to the sound of her brothers' breathing.  For the other whose mind is often racing just as he falls asleep, the inane discussions the other two have help slow his mind down enough for him to drift off.

All is good in the house when we see this happen and we shore up these moments because in the next minute, these loving siblings will be transformed into Gremlins out to get one another. 

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Small Business Enterprise

Jordan's exams are over. The semi-pall that has shrouded our house for the last few weeks has lifted. Somewhat.

Somewhat because Evan's exams aren't over yet. But it isn't stopping them from celebrating.

For Evan, any opportunity to play is a good thing. For Muffin, he is celebrating the fact that his play mates are free to play with him and he doesn't have to do work just so that his siblings don't complain that he is too free.

First order of business, was to literally, set up a business. Or rather 3 businesses.

Each kid decided on a business they were about to start.

Each kid came up with a business model including pricing, opening hours and rules and regulations.

Jordan set up a music school that promised that anyone could be a musician.
Evan set up a photo studio with his business partner, Eevee. 
Muffin was setting up a spa. He was CEO. Jordan was the massage therapist.

Working hours took into consideration school hours. Obviously, they weren't giving up their day jobs for this.

Their family benefits were great.  We got discounts and there were always freebies for those hapless enough to engage their services.

 

So we came home to signs on their door last night declaring their businesses closed for the day and early this morning, the sign had changed.

 

We found out that they subscribed to the belief that the 'early bird catches the worm' because they were all up at six this morning, voluntarily, for a business meeting before their businesses opened for the day.

Unfortunately, they didn't take factor in the size of their consumer base so there wasn't a lot of business to go around.

That didn't fuss them much. They closed early and went to the park.

 Their jobs certainly afforded them a great amount of work-life balance.

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The child becomes the teacher

Muffin has effectively completed the first term of Primary One. He's doing okay. He takes on everything with his usual cheeky outlook on life. Like his siblings before him, he isn't too big on homework.

Being the third child through primary education with older siblings whose academic demands regularly floor me, he ends up drawing the short end of the straw. On so many occasions, I've forgotten the spelling and ting xie and remember only to ask him the day after it's tested in school.

So I try to remember.

If I forget, I deputise one of the twins to go through his spelling with him. That often sends him to tears because there is actually something worse than the tiger mom. The Tiger Sister who is stricter and more demanding than the mom. She will berate him in a tone worthy of the Tiger Mom and lay down her strict expectations of his corrections.

But that's where the difference ends.

Unlike the Tiger Mom, the Tiger Sis will be taken in by his tears. She will cave and will try and carry  him. That's when she'll change her tact and surprisingly coax him into trying again. She's has also learnt that yelling at him doesn't work so she tries to be a little bit more encouraging so that she doesn't have to deal with his tears.

His worksheets then end up having encouraging words planted all over like her teacher does for her, I suppose. And she gets him to re-learn the spelling words he isn't clear of on the white board or with magnetic letters which I used to do for her.

In short, she has learnt some pedagogy.

He'd just as soon not do it if given the choice. His toys are still a big thing for him and he still spends long hours just re-connecting with his Lego and his Transformers toy or reading. 

So it's a fine line that we tread on. To make sure that he revises the stuff he has to for school but to give him time to read and be silly. This is where the Tiger Sis empathises with him and totally caves in; when he looks at her with puppy eyes and says he wants to just spend some time reading.

The young teacher still has much to learn.

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Odyssey

There's been radio silence.

There's a reason for it. Every couple of years, we take the kids on what has become a traditional odyssey of sorts.

To date, our odysseys have been to the North American continent and this one was no different.

It was meant to herald the beginning of Muffin's primary school life. We did a similar one to Hawaii when the twins were entering primary school.

Our vacation this time was unabashedly non-educational. There was going to be no value in it in terms of exposing them to new lands, new cultures, geography or scenery. We went with one intention; to go on the Disney Cruise, which itself was just about indulgence and comfort. Add on to that, being in the theme park city of the world, we spent the rest of our time in theme parks, riding roller coasters and soaking in everything make believe and computer generated. In other words, we did not go to the United States, we went on a themepark holiday.

But JED had a great time as did we. And it wasn't true that they didn't learn anything. This trip was a first for them in many ways.

1. They had to look after themselves and they did so in a myriad of ways.
In Orlando, they slept in the upstairs bedroom while we were downstairs. They were in charge of getting themselves ready in the morning without any prompting. Many a morning, they appeared at my bedroom door all ready to head to the parks.

2. They had to look after each other.
On occasion, we would leave them alone to get groceries, get dinner and even do a spot of shopping. My paranoid imagination had them fighting and hurting each other or me coming home to a house on fire. But none of that played up. They watched TV, cleared the table at the designated time (as monitored by Evan), brought everything into the kitchen with no mess and nothing broken (supervised by Jordan) and then trooped up to wash up (closely watched by a hawk-like Muffin).

3. They looked after their own things.
For children who have a helper in the house, they can be awfully spoilt and messy. But on vacation and with my declaration that I wasn't going to pick up after them, after the nth time they were unable to find their toys or their pyjamas smelt funky because they left them in a pile together with a wet towel, almost everything got folded away or put away nicely. It wasn't perfect but it was good enough.

Granted, there was the non-Facebook- non Disneyfied version. That included
a) a bout of food poisoning which required a jab and quarantine
b) a hacking cough (that lasted all holiday and made it back 3 continents)
c) bad food (Poor Chinaman Muffin had nothing much to eat except for fries, hash browns, sausages and chicken tenders and even that got old quite quickly)
d) the occasional bad weather (either too hot or too cold)
e) too much walking causing exhausted, painful feet, whiny children too heavy to carry
g) bad airport queues causing us to almost miss on flights on multiple occasions
f) 13 hour long transatlantic flights with our girl child who was unable to sleep, kept throwing up and eventually only settled sleeping on the cabin floor at the back of the plane.

But even then, we miss it.

So, posterity, the a video that JED and Packrat worked very hard to make.



It'll be a holiday we all will be talking about for a long time to come.

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The Tooth Fairy

Muffin is growing up fast. He's shot up so quickly in the last few months that he's become gangly and clumsy. He's also started losing his milk teeth.

The first tooth he lost was at the gym. He left it on the bench but he couldn't find it after.

Tonight, he dropped his second tooth. We have been telling him, the last few days, to not swallow his tooth so that we could stick it under his pillow like the Jordan and Evan did.

Unfortunately, it was not to be. The tooth found the most inopportune time to fall out; as Muffin was rinsing his mouth after brushing his teeth. So it swirled in the sink and went down the drain pipe before anyone could react.

Evan tried. He tried to cover the hole in the sink. But the tooth slipped right through his fingers.

Muffin howled. It wasn't one tooth he was mourning. It was two. And he cried so pitifully, his usually combative brother came running to get us.

No amount of carrying and consoling soothed his distress.

Right till Evan offered him one of his own milk teeth (that he knows I keep in a container), to lay under his pillow so that the tooth-fairy would come.

Even with that, it took him another 10 to 15 minutes of sobbing, gulping and hiccoughing before he picked a tooth, laid it in the box and slipped it under his pillow. And then he cried himself to sleep.

But at least there was recourse.

Evan, the brother who fights so bitterly with him sometimes, rose to the occasion, put aside his own grumpiness and showed kindness and compassion. He did ask me to return him his tooth once we were done with it. To which, I gladly acceded. After all, the tooth was his.

So not only did we leave a note and 2 $1 coins for Muffin, we told him in the note that his big brother helped to make it happen and that he had a wonderful big brother. So we were leaving an extra $1 that he was to give to his big brother for helping him feel better. 

Sometimes, we don't give Evan enough credit. He's the oft-misunderstood, bullied, overshadowed middle brother. But he always, always rises to the occasion when it matters the most.

Like tonight, where he saved the day and was the tooth fairy through and through.

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Siblings

JED fight like cats some days. They really do. Sometimes it gets violent enough that toys get viciously stomped on and stuff gets thrown at each other. Inevitably, I get an angry and indignant phone call that makes me want to block our home number. Sometimes we think they need to be either separated, into different houses (put up for adoption!) or put together in a get-along t-shirt (A huge t-shirt they all have to wear at the same time).

At their most unreasonable, they are mean and sometimes even cruel to each other.

But thankfully, there are also times that I know they love each other, will look out for each other and all is good in the world.

There are times when there isn't enough of me to go around. Muffin wants to be read to. Evan wants me to play cards with him. Jordan wants to make stories or one of the twins has last minute stuff that I need to help them with and Muffin is going on and on about wanting to play/ read to etc.

So on occasion, I deputise the free-er twin to help. Both Evan and Jordan love reading to Muffin. They read in different ways. Jordan's more expressive and the true storyteller. Evan reads it deadpan, which is funny in its own right, but knows how to run a parallel discussion about the book that interests Muffin.

And then there is this. 

The twins are at the age where affection from someone other than their parents is 'gross'. Muffin is very affectionate and tries to hug and kiss them especially when we send them to school and the twins get all sputter-y and grossed out by his affections. I suspect the more they try to thwart him, the harder he tries, just to annoy them but to get them to 'love' him. 

But one morning recently, both Muffin and Jordan crawled into my bed and kicked me out. Jordan threw open her arms and said "Come Muffin, let me sayang you!" and Muffin leapt at the opportunity and they spent a good 5 minutes smothering each other in too-tight hugs and kisses all over each others' faces. 

Recently, Evan had a terrible nightmare that involved a plane crashing. He was crying in his sleep, just before it was time to wake for school. It was too real to him and it took him a long time to understand that it didn't happen and no one died. Jordan was worried, ready to bang down our doors to get us. She even tried to console him though he pushed her away.

Eventually, at wits end, she wrote him a note and left it at his seat on the breakfast table.

I don't know if it made him feel better but it was very good of her to keep trying, to let him know that she was thinking of him.

This and the fact that when each child is given extra money for an excursion for school, they choose to buy something for their sibling. Occasionally, they come home with treats for each other from the school canteen.

Hopefully, as they get older, there will be more days like this and fewer cat fight, fur and fluff flying days.

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Loose lips sink ships

Being on school holidays means that JED see a lot more of each other than on a regular school day and that means more opportunity to get on each other's nerves or in each other's way. As a result, there is much more conflict and many more situations where they tell on one another.

It is exhausting listening to them tell on each other. It's always something petty, it hasn't been anything life- threatening and it's always to get the other party/ parties into trouble with us. They tattle when they know that the other sibling has broken one of our rules. They want the other sibling to get into trouble with us. Without a doubt.

I can be asleep, having lunch, driving or at times in the bath when the petulant "Mommmy....." chord strikes.

It has gotten to the point where I ask them 3 questions with an extremely fierce glint in my eye.

1. Why are you telling me this?

2. Is someone hurt because of this?

And if there is no answer to 1. and the answer to 2 is "No one" then my next question...

3. Are you telling me this so that I will scold your brother/ sister?

At least they have enough decency to look a little bit contrite when I throw Question 3 at them and they dare not nod. Muffin tried once and he got machine gun questions to follow in ascending volume.

4. WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO SCOLD YOUR BROTHER/ SISTER?
5. IF I SCOLD THEM, I OUGHT TO SCOLD YOU TOO! DO YOU WANT ME TO SCOLD YOU AS WELL?

That's when he realised the best move was to back away slowly without breaking eye contact till he was out of arm's reach and run far away to hide.

If it weren't for the fact that I didn't need to wrestle with homework and waking up early, I would really be counting down the days till they are all back at school.

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A slippery slope

Once again, the kids were on the issue of pets. Just that this time, they wanted to adopt a cute little Korean girl they met at the playground. They were enthralled by her and followed her around, holding her, picking her up when she stumbled. The little one year old had a following of willing helpers twirled around her baby finger. They were smitten.

They wanted to bring her home. Because she was cute. Because she was small. Because they needed a pet. Because they needed a younger sibling. Because they needed a younger sister.

To get a pet, they know that the three obstacles in the way are our helper, Packrat and myself. And the following conversation ensued.

Jordan: What if we have a dog?
Our helper: Then Kakak will run away.

Evan: What if we have a cat?
Our helper: Then Kakak....
Mommy: And Papa will run away

Kakak: What if you have a baby? Kakak won't run away then.
Muffin: Mommy, what if we have a baby sister?
Mommy: Then, Mommy will run away!

Following that, a horrified, stunned silence from JED who suddenly understood higher stakes and what a slippery slope argument meant.

The conversation ended there.

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Brothers are awesome

I grew up always wanting a sister. I dreamed that she would be someone I could tell secrets to, play with and she could be my best friend. Instead, I had two brothers who made fun of me, mercilessly. I eventually did get a sister-in-law who pretty much became the surrogate sister I wanted, though much older. And by then, I had also decided that my brothers were pretty awesome too; that was when they stopped making fun of me and I wasn't out looking for someone to play Barbie with anymore.

My children pretty much follow the same gender configuration as my brothers and I though instead of being the youngest, Jordan is the eldest and the two boys follow after her. And because of their twin nature, Jordan and Evan are naturally close. Jordan and Muffin are close because Muffin is Jordan's 'baby' and she mothers him. Evan shoves her away when she tries to mother him. And while there is natural competition between the two boys, increasingly, Evan and Muffin are closer because they share more and more of the same language and I suspect work on pretty much the same wave length.

On top of that, Muffin hero worships Evan although at this point, Evan finds it an annoyance. Muffin wants what he has, does what he does and goes where he goes. Evan finds it as endearing as he would a buzzing fly. I try to convince Evan that Muffin only does that because he wants to be 'just like Kor Kor'. Evan is skeptical.

Anyway, this afternoon, Evan got through to Muffin in a way no one else could. And thank goodness for that. The little one decided to play with my bedroom's sliding doors. He took it one step further and latched the door from the inside. Because it was a latch, there was no corresponding key to unlock it. That meant Muffin was locked in my room with no way of getting out.

Naturally, he got panicky and started to cry. We tried to calm him down, asking him to play and read while we figured something out. I contemplated, as my parents did when I locked myself in the bathroom as a kid, calling the fire department. But Evan took over the crisis, went to the door and told Muffin on the other side what to do. Where he panicked even more and cried when we tried to tell him what to do, Evan succeeded in getting him to calm down and do as he was told.

It helped that Evan was specific and clear and Muffin understood him. A minute later, the latch was flipped and Muffin slid the door open with a large sheepish grin and teary, red eyes.

Of course he forgot to thank his brother and of course he made light of the situation. "I wasn't troubled, Mommy!" he claimed when we asked him about it later on.

Yes, right. You owe your brother big time for that one. Okay, to his credit, he was very nice to his brother after and sided with him when Jordan inflated Evan's balloon till it exploded loudly.

Earlier in the day when all he cared about was turning into a Ninja Turtle.

So perhaps if Evan's plan of being a scientist doesn't pan out, he can work as a crisis negotiator (though I wouldn't wish him the emotional stress of a job like that). But I think today only happened because he didn't know that I was contemplating calling the fire department. Had he known that, he would have just left his brother wailing and waited; because to him, the fire department breaking the door down would have been infinitely more cool than teaching his brother how to unlatch the door. Never mind the cost it would incur to Mommy and Papa!

But I think they are realising, as I slowly figured out while I was growing up, brothers are great to have around.

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Bad Cop, Good Cop.

The one thing that helps the early morning wake ups is when the kids wake up cheery and happy. It happens occasionally. When the moon is blue and pig sprout wings. Mostly, I settle for cooperative children in the morning.

What gets my blood boiling in the morning is malingering and whiny. The illusive stomachache and headache that responds wonderfully to the cure all dose from "stay home for the day" bottle.

Evan went to bed last night with a raging fever. So there was a high likelihood that he wasn't going to go to school today. Jordan figured that out through the night and woke up whining that she felt uncomfortable, her tummy and head hurt; the vague triumvirate of excuses.

I told her she could. Her eyes lit up. Then she realised that there was a big 'but' behind it.

BUT
1. She wouldn't get to make sandwiches in school (she was supposed to do it today as a class activity).
2. She would not be allowed to watch television or go out. After all she was sick.
3. She would have to catch up with all the homework she had missed today, tomorrow at Papa's school. (Her Friday afternoon treat is to hang out at Papa's school and play with his students)
4. She would have to re-revise her spelling that was supposed to be today. That would eat into her playing time this afternoon. 

Even with that, she was still weighing it out in her head and she was still coming up on the side of the instant gratification of staying at home now and chuck what happens tomorrow aside.

At 6 in the morning, it takes triple the effort to stick to my guns. And play the bad cop. After all, if she didn't go, it would mean I could have a lie in and I wouldn't need to pick her up from school.

Eventually, I stumbled on the trump card. I told her I wasn't going to write her an excuse letter because I believed she wasn't actually ill. And I wasn't about to lie to her teacher. So she could stay at home, but she would need to explain it to her teacher. 

Perfectly fine to go to school.

She sought me out after she had showered with tears in her eyes. She apologised. I asked what for. She apologised for lying that she was sick so that she could get out of going to school. She apologised that she was going to make me lie to her teacher just so that she could stay home.

I told her, the up side to her going to school when Evan didn't need to was that we would have extra time and if we left early enough, we could perhaps make a run to McDonald's for pancakes before school. That plan was foiled by the McDonald's nearest her school being closed at 7 am in the morning. She settled for a packet of Milo from 7-11. But it seemed to do the trick.

There, my being both the split personalitied bad cop- good cop. It is truly exhausting, especially when it is still dark out and every bone in my body is screaming to go back to bed. And I now owe her a McDonald's breakfast.

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Only Children

Jordan has been making comments lately about wanting to be the only child. She explained that it was because she had to keep giving in to her brothers; after all, there are two of them and their demands often make her feel cornered; my words not hers.

Her most recent remark was about how 'of course Muffin gets to do special stuff'. An insight into how she sees Muffin getting to do things that both she and Evan do not do.

It gets exhausting to hear the complaints. It's a recent thing.

I don't think things have changed much. Perceptions have however.

She perceives Muffin to have more privilleges than they (she) do.

1. He gets to sleep in our bed.
2. He doesn't have homework to do.
3. He gets to spend time with Mommy alone.
4. And according to Muffin, he and Mommy do things like go to the park while they are hard at work in school.

 

The reality is that the twins had the same opportunities when they were his age. They slept in our bed, they had no homework, they got time with Mommy on their own or together. We remind them of the numerous outings and adventures we had after we dropped Muffin, bawling, at child care when he was younger. And we used to take them out on breakfast and lunch dates while Muffin stayed home to nap.

They also do get special time on their own with us. Mommy picks her from school and Mommy has lunch with just her. On another day, Papa picks her up and she gets Papa all to herself all afternoon.

Evan gets both Papa and Mommy all to himself after school while Jordan and Muffin are otherwise occupied. And Papa and him get to do guy things on their own.

But she stares at me in disbelief when I remind her of all that.
 

Like I said. Perception.  

On top of that, because Muffin is the youngest, the twins are often told to give in to him.

And that has been the only thing that we can do anything about and we have. Muffin has been explicitly told, if his siblings say no to him, he has to accept it. That regardless of the fit chucking that ensues, he doesn't get what he wants till his siblings see it fit to let him have it. At the same time, we tell the twins that at some point, when they tire of playing with whatever it is they are playing with, they have to let Muffin have a go at it.

On days when my nerves are frayed and I am frazzled, these comments are hurt a little bit because I'm exhausted by the effort of trying to keep up and be what every one needs. Then I just want to grab my book, go somewhere totally alone, leave them all to their own devices and not be a mommy to anyone.

All of them want to be the only child. Unfortunately, the name of the game is that they gotta learn how to share Mommy and Papa because there really is only one set of us. 

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Axis and Allies

JED are growing up to the point where their play has organisation and structure (self-created structure). They imagine a game and make up the rules along the way. For most part, the twins understand each other perfectly and are often in sync. This isn't surprising. They are after all, at the same developmental markers and have been exposed to the same type of 'rule' education. Most importantly, they have shared a womb with one another, grown up with one another and instinctively 'get' each other. Muffin, on the other hand is a little bit of the outsider.

He is younger; so his understanding of playing together is less developed. He doesn't know to abide by the 'rules', wanting to create his own much to the chargin of his older siblings.

They end up bickering and taking sides. They form alliances. Jordan with Muffin against Evan. (That causes Evan to sulk and go do his own thing). The twins against Muffin (reducing Muffin into a 'hurl himself onto the floor' tantrum and in no way advancing his cause) and seldom but not unusual, along gender lines, boys against girl.

Jordan and Muffin occur when Jordan is feeling particularly maternal and adopts Muffin as her pet. And Muffin, being the all faithful puppy/ cub will follow her around and allow her to 'feed' and 'comb' his hair. Evan is too old to play house and will then roam the house declaring he is bored.

The twins will always have that special bond with one another and we see their closeness more obviously now. They chatter, they tell each other about their days and they play. More often than not, Evan will not want to go to the playground if he doesn't have Jordan to go with him. He has declared it boring with her. It's finally paid off. Those years of having to bear with two screaming infants/ toddlers/ pre-schoolers are finally past and they are each other's best friends. It does reallly warm our hearts to see them this close.

The least often seen alliance is between the two boys. Probably because Evan and Jordan have grown up with one another, possibly because Muffin is younger and irritates his brother while trying desperately to just be like him and most likely because Evan sees Muffin as competition. He is younger, less rational and often we tell him that he needs to give in to his younger brother. It has helped that we call Muffin on his brat behaviour and insist that he shares with his elder brother. He has no choice but to petulantly do as he is told. But their common interest in Star Wars has brought them together, against their sister. They plot and negotiate with her because they want to watch Star Wars ad nauseum. They talk non-stop about the characters and in his more nurturing moments, Evan explains the characters to Muffin and they have long discussions about the plots. When Jordan comes to me, feeling all dejected and left out, I take her to do girly things like craft or stringing necklaces or just watching one of her favourite movies. The lines in the house definitely run along gender lines on these occasions.

We have realised that these axis- ally permutations occur because there are three of them. When the number drops to two, the house is peaceful and the remaining two just play and just get along. This happened recently when Jordan went to stay with her cousin and the two boys, for the want of playmates, just got along with one another. They watched television together and on occasion when Muffin tried to push for his way, we overheard Evan just explaining very clearly to him why it was that he couldn't get what he wanted. Of course, part of it was Evan pulling rank but Muffin seemed a lot more willing to concede.

We did see how much 'toll' this took on Muffin; when he finally saw Jordan and burst into tears, clinging onto her with dear life, declaring how much he missed her and wanted her home.

But when all the stars are aligned, all three get along like a house on fire. They play, they guffaw and they collude against us. That's when we sit back, smile and revel in the chaos.

                                             

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Daddy's Girl

There is a saying, "Mummy's Boy" and "Daddy's Girl". Much as we would like to refute the cliche, Packrat does insist that I have a softer spot for the boys and am harsher on Jordan because my expectations of Jordan are based on myself. For the boys, I have no means of comparison. But at the same time, he does admit too that he has a soft spot for our only daughter. He and the rest of our Daddy friends sit around and earnestly plot against the imagined boys that will come a-knocking when their daughters become teenagers. It has gotten to the point where they fantasise about forming a group and training their sons to protect the girls. There is nothing more than the fear and paranoia of what a teenage boy might do to their daughter to raise the red-neck hackles of these dads.

A few days ago, it was raining and the children were stuck in doors. On a lark, I put on Jordan and Evan's concert Christmas songs for them to dance to. To get into character, Jordan insisted on changing into her concert gown and start to dance. Her item required a partner, that Evan obliged for a while before he scampered off to play with Muffin.
 

Packrat then took over and as I was watching them, I knew for a fact that while I would be crying on the day my little girl gets married, those emotions will be nothing compared to what her dad's going to have to go through.

I am thankful that it will be many more years to come before we get to that point and before that, Packrat will be busy training Evan on the sniper rifle (because he is calmer, more patient and more mathematical) and Muffin on the shot gun (brute, close combat force) to protect their sister.

So I'll probably make t-shirts for all 3 of Jordan's immediate bodyguards; Dad/ Brothers Against Daughters/ Sisters Dating.

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Capturing Concern

There's a bug going round our house. It began with Evan on Wednesday night, causing us to end up in Emergency at 3 am in the morning and him to miss his excursion to the zoo. Jordan fell on Saturday evening. Her symptoms were different but she was similarly miserable. Muffin is the last man standing and we don't have much hope but for now, he goes around being the doctor.

He worries about his sister. Why she won't play with him. He worries about his brother. The brother that fights him on everything seems to be too lethargic to fight back and gives him whatever he wants, however much Muffin pushes his buttons.

So he goes around with a stethoscope and his 'doctor' box. He listens to Jordan's chest and when she says her tummy hurts, he listens to that too. He gives Evan an injection but before he does so, he tells him "Kor Kor, don't cry. Is good for you. Make you feel better. I not putting anything in your bum bum" (The boy remembers all too well the medicine that got shoved up his bum rather unceremoniously.)

It's nice  to see him all concerned even though they fight like cats most of the time. Grandma commented that he 'could' become a doctor. Okay, if he wanted to but the hours and grunge work suck and if a patient threw up in front of him, he would join the patient, gag and throw up too. And of course, his bedside manner would need work, especially if he roared at patients. But I'm not going to push it.

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Spoil Market

I get very stressed with Teachers' Day because JED aren't old enough to fully take charge of Teachers' Day gifts. But Jordan and Evan can do some of the bits with minimal supervision. They can make cards.

Except, Jordan doesn't just make a card. She insists on writing a book for her teacher; fully illustrated and coloured. She even tells us very specifically where the 'conflict' is in her story.

Evan looks up at his effort, looks over at hers and while he doesn't say anything, it's written all over his face "Spoil market!" and possibly the formings of expletives that he doesn't yet know. I work with him and we come up with something passable but he doesn't allow me to photograph it. To his credit, he ties bows on their gifts to their teachers much more deftly than she does (his shoes have laces). And Jordan's reaction to his being able to do that was pretty much the same as his was earlier.

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Childhood wonderment

Occasionally, I hear the twins use phrases that sound far too old for their age. We're not talking about swear words or anything. Just words and phrases that run incongruous to their six year old voices, stature and worldviews.

So, we try very hard not to dampen any sort of belief or view that while is common for a child is deemed as rubbish and stuff fairy tales are made out of for adults.

One of those things is the Tooth Fairy. Both of them love the idea of the Tooth Fairy. Yet, on some level, they know that the Tooth Fairy isn't real. I neither deny or confirm that fact for them.  On their part, they don't really want to face up to the reality that she may not be real either.

Recently, both Jordan and Evan had their teeth come out. This isn't the first occasion so it was much less dramatic. But yet, they wanted their teeth under the pillow.

I think it was in Modern Family where the Tooth Fairy left a note when 'she' collected the tooth.

So that gave me an idea to do the same where I left personalised notes for them from the Tooth Fairy.

Predictably, I was rudely awoken the next morning by 2 six year olds brandishing the familiar orange Post It note at me. Evan demanded to know if I had written it. I turned the question back on him and asked if he thought I did and whether it looked like my handwriting. That made him doubt himself a bit before breaking out into the biggest of grins and announcing excitedly to his sister that it was indeed the Tooth Fairy that left the note and the money.

Once again, I did not deny or confirm it. I just pretended to go back to sleep.

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Small Mommy

If you ask Muffin who his Mommy is, he will tell him that he has 2 mommies.

"Big Mommy" which is me and "Small Mommy" which is Jordan.

There was a period of time where he would go round the house hollering for Mommy and when I replied, he would chide "Not you, Mommy. Small Mommy. You, Big Mommy."

Humph.

But I am thankful. She picks up the slack for me. And gives me quite a breather at times.

She succeeds in feeding him when we fail to and she plays with him in the morning when I am begging for another 5 or 10 minutes of sleep.

Of late, she has become quite fluent in her reading and she practices on Muffin. She reads to him and makes him repeat words after her. On cooperative days, he does and he learns names of insects, Little Ponies, different types of sharks and whatever might have struck her fancy that day. 

Muffin allows himself to be taken care of by her. If I am not around and he is in need of comfort, he seeks her out. She gladly obliges and takes him into her arms, disregarding the fact that both of them are round about the same weight. 

Last night, she offered to read to him before he went to bed. He agreed and laid beside her as she read him Lars the Polar Bear, complete with making Lars swim and voices. Usually, he's like a koala bear on me during bed time and it makes it difficult for us to go out to dinner. But with Small Mommy reading to him, he was blissfully unaware that I had slipped out.

It's useful to have 2 mommies in the house, even if the other one is 6 years old and sometimes, not the most reliable. But her heart is in the right place and she does a pretty good job standing in for me.

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When all the stars were in alignment

I cannot imagine not having a phone with a camera. For years now, I have mostly blogged with pictures and looking back at the pictures that I have posted, it reminds me of how much I have forgotten about JED and how different they were. Being with them everyday means I don't get to notice the difference that other people sometimes comment on.

This blog helps me see them from the eyes of others through the photographs of days yore.

And photographs do freeze in time moments of pure unadulterated joy in JED that are fleeting or are easily forgotten; especially by an unwell, exhausted and irate mother (i.e. me)

It also freezes the moments where their eyes are full of love and affection for one another and the only sound that echoes through the room is laughter; to remind them on days when they absolutely hate each other that it isn't this way all the time.

Realising that they could laugh till their tummy hurt

Fish mouths

Sandwich crush

All fall down

Muffin, after multiple attempts to spoil the photos

Enjoying the snuggling

Finally, a perfect shot.

So these photo-booth string of photographs are for me, for Packrat who was at work and for them to remember this moment in time, where for just those few minutes, everything in the world was right and all the stars were in alignment.

  Technorati Tags: JED, siblings

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