Where have the Mogwais gone?

I didn't believe it when other parents told me that ten was the magic number. That it heralded a new stage of parenting. Where a switch gets flipped and cute, obedient young 'uns turn into surly, smart mouth, sassing tweens. It's like in the Gremlins. The Mogwais are cute and adorable and you want them as pets. But heed the warning.

Do not expose the Mogwai to bright lights or sunlight which will kill it, do not let it get wet, and never feed it after midnight. Feeding them after midnight makes the Mogwai turn into a Gremlin. Getting them wet causes them to multiply.

A tween is what you get when you feed the Mogwai after midnight. I think that happened the day the twins turned 10. We must have accidentally fed them at midnight.

Because my formerly sweet-natured twins turned Gremlin-like.

1. Language:
Where did they learn to be rhetorical?
When asked a question, the choice answers are "Obviously", "What do you think?", "Good luck with that."

Fighting words
"You're always cheating!" "I hate him/ her!", "I wish I were dead!"

2. Physical Aggression:
Shoving, hitting, spitting, anything at their disposal. When warned that the sibling might one day hit back, they ignore me. I'm told that they need to feel the physical pain of the sibling turning on them and socking them back as hard as they gave it.

3. The eyes.
Oh the eyes. The eye- rolling. The eye rolling that communicate "Are you kidding me?" "How stupid are you?" "How stupid is that?" "Who died and made you God?" all in a split second of ophthalmic calisthenics. I know it is necessary for tweens to be able to do that and I know JED  have it encoded in them to roll their eyes since I do it so effectively but it's still riling and it's too easy to say "Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady/man" But I run the risk of sounding like my dad.

4. The moods
The moods are getting dark and twisty and thunderous for now apparent reason. It could be all bright and shiny and all of a sudden, thunder clouds gather and we're all at the risk of being stuck and fried by lightning. Mercurial is a nice word to describe the climate in the house. Not quite global warming yet but definitely, climate change big time.

I know it'll get worse when the hormones catch up with the motor-mouths and the poor hapless 7 year old bears the brunt of it. Us adults, we understand treading on egg shells but it's a minefield for Muffin and he's getting a crash course on how one thing that works today won't work tomorrow.

He retaliates the only way he knows how. He matches their tempers and angers with tears but his physical size and 7 year old vocabulary puts him at a disadvantage.

We can only ride it out, shower them with affection when their moods are right, attempt to express understanding and empathy even when they are being difficult and explain why their behaviour isn't what we expect of them.

On days, there is still the sweetness and consideration they showed to each other as siblings.

 

On other days, the tween-ness is reflected in hilarious ways with illustrations that give us an insight about how they are processing information. Even the illustrations are filled with eye rolls.

On other days, I want to dig a hole in the ground and hide from the strafing and indulge in looking at cute baby pictures of them.

 But no such luck. It's about wearing the kevlar and hitting right out into the minefield and hope for the best.

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Missing friends

The school year has begun in earnest. And there has been a change. This time, the twins feel it acutely. It's not like the last big change where they went up to P1 as slightly gormless, guileless and very young middle schoolers. While that was a huge change, the adjustment problems were more to do with routine.

This time, the adjustment is social. And being smack in the middle of their middle school years and on the cusp of being almost tweeny, they are very affected by it. They miss their friends.

Each are in a new class. For Jordan, it's worse because she's not only in a new class, she's in a new school. Evan is almost there, being in a class where he has only 2 classmates from his previous class. So they're pining in different ways and I feel sorry for them.

Evan is constantly asking if I can arrange play dates with his friends. He's a bit miffed at how Jordan seems to be going out on all these play dates, that he isn't invited to, are full of girls and where girly things are done. He feels left out. It makes him want to hang out with HIS friends, without his siblings tagging along. I get it. I suspect that it's also an age thing. They're developing their own identities, interests and don't really want to exist in a combined life in all aspects. He doesn't really want to play 'family' with his sister or have his younger brother tagging along and trying to copy him in every way and usurping his friends.

Jordan, on the other hand, has been busy making new friends. That and the excitement of starting a new school has distracted her from reality. It didn't hit till last night, Sunday night before the 3rd week of school. This was after a weekend of one of her ex classmate's ringing her every day just to chat and another one declaring that she missed Jordan on the bus and school wasn't the same without Jordan. Upon realisation that come Monday, she was yet again not going to see her old friends, she melt down into a puddle of tears lamenting how the school hours in the new school are longer (by 15 minutes; 10 minutes of which are an in class break) and how she's homesick when she's at school. We gently tell her that there were things she didn't like about her old school either and sometimes, she and her friend on the bus fought like cats and swore they weren't ever speaking to one another again!

So, we've promised to arrange something soon with just her friends and sworn blind that they haven't forgotten her. We've made the same promise for Evan, swearing that he'll be able to go on his own, without his limelight stealing siblings.

Now, to find enough hours and energy on the weekend to do all that.

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Glimpse into the future

I had a glimpse into the future recently. I didn't need Doc from Back To The Future and the Delorean for that. I just needed a day out with Jordan and her bestie.

School was out earlier for Jordan and her bestie than for Evan. So, I took the two girls out to celebrate the end of term. It was interesting watching them play and chat with one another. Their conversation never let up. They were very animated and involved with one another to the point that no one else existed, mom included. I was just there to keep an eye on them, hold on to their water bottles, escort them to the wash room and eventually take them home. For all intents and purposes, I could have been the helper or their bodyguards. 

There was no malice intended and it wasn't because they were being brattish or spoilt or anything. It was just a real sign of them growing up, disengaging from their mums and becoming their own little people. It was like weaning all over again, feeling slightly out of place and not needed.

Both the twins are slowly doing this, in their own way. Both of them are establishing their own identities and choosing to do things separate from each other. Jordan wants to stay with her cousin. Evan wants to stay with his grandma.

It makes me feel slightly sad because we are no longer the centre of their universe. Packrat assures me that they will always look to us but we have to face up to the fact that while the space we inhabit in their world does not shrink, their universes grow and begin including more people and more stuff.

Part of me feels proud of them, that they are stepping out from under our metaphorical skirts and becoming their own little people. But at the same time, we do seem to be on the inevitable road towards growing up and not needing Mommy and Papa as much.

I suppose this is when some parents decide it is time to have yet another child. But since that just delays the inevitable by a couple more years and prolongs the sleepless nights and further deepens the lines around the eyes, no thanks. I think I'll just accept the truth as is.

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Problem Solving Evan

Evan is great at Math. He is a natural. But it isn't why this post is titled Problem Solving Evan.

Today is an ordinary day. But after today,  I can worry a little bit less for Evan.

Evan is shy and hesitant by nature. He cries when things are difficult or intimidating.

And he did that today, when he wanted to join Jordan at our neighbour's on a play date but experienced first hand how girls could be mean and exclusive. They told him he couldn't play with them because he was a boy and they were four girls.

He came home sobbing and crying pitifully, rejected. My heart ached when I heard it.

But he stopped after a while, took down a bag full of sweets that I had amassed (all their goody bag sweets go into the bag and when the bag is full, I take it to work and encourage cavaties and sugar highs in my older students) and took it out to of our house.

He didn't return till we went over to get them back for dinner. And he was all chirpy, all previous tears dried up. His sweet bag was also obviously much lighter.

When asked what had happened with the bag of sweets, he gleefully told us that he gave the girls the sweets and they allowed him to play in their tent.

On the one hand, I know I should teach him that he can't go around bribing people to do his biding but at the same time, I can't help but be a little proud. He had a problem, he cried and wailed about it then figured out how to get himself out of it instead of sulking, whining and moping over it.

I also heard from a teacher in his school today that he now walks in from the bus with Chloe (another neighbour of ours). I didn't think much about it till it was contextualised for me. When they first started school, the twins would walk in from the bus together, holding on to each other for dear life. Because they were in different classes, they had to be separated and it was always accompanied with miniature wailing and gnashing of teeth. So the teacher's point was that they were growing up and becoming more independent and confident of themselves. They didn't need each other as much, as a crutch anymore.

Since they go off to Primary One next year, to separate schools, I worry about how they will cope. I worry especially for Evan not because he is a weak or frail but because I know that some boys can be feisty,  thuggish and will overwhelm him in size. But this shows that perhaps, he will figure out smarter, left field ways to outsmart them.

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 Technorati Tags: JED, growing up

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Amazing Muffin

Muffin will be three in about a month's time. And my, has he grown! We aren't just talking in terms of developmental milestones although thankfully, he seems to be speaking a bit more. What is impressive to us is that he has finally grown physically too! That should be the first thing that occurs to anyone. A child growing physically. But then again, I've always had small sized children. The twins were small because they were born small and had lots to catch up with. Muffin was born smallish for a single baby too and was actually of concern to the doctors because his weight seemed to be increasing at a decelerating speed. But in the recent months, his appetite has grown in mammoth proportions; to the point that he out eats Jordan and equals Evan on some days.

This in itself has led to some remarkable developments.

The little one has figured out the 4 wheeler and cycles as quickly as his two wheeler siblings.

He has acquired a bit of a barrel belly which thrills me to no end because all I have had to this point were skinny kids.

His cheekiness has hit new highs. Our helper is convinced he is eating more because he is speaking more and that takes up more energy. I am not sure about the correlation but she is right about the speaking more and with that comes amplified cheekiness.

He tattles on his siblings. "Mommy, Che Che/ Kor Kor naughty."

Mommy: Muffin, let's take a walk.
Muffin: No Mommy, take car.
Mommy: Why take car? Let's go for a walk.
Muffin: I tired. No walk. Drive. Zoom Zoom.

Muffin: Papa, wake up. It's early in the morning.
Papa: *mutter, growl, splutter splutter*
Muffin: Papa, wake up. Muffin vomit! Quick Papa! Wake up!
Papa: -wakes with a start- What? Where!
Muffin: Haha! Papa wake up!

Mommy: Muffin, are you a boy or a girl?
Muffin: I baby!
Mommy: Are you a baby boy or baby girl?
Muffin: Muffin baby. No boy, no girl. BABY.
And proceeds to pout. 
 

And he is becoming old enough to have favourite things.

His favourite books are ones that involve marine life. Sharks (The Scariest Shark). Whales (The Snail and the Whale). Wild Beasts (Where the Wild Things Are).

And his favourite toy is Lightning McQueen. He goes everywhere with Evan's spoilt Lightning McQueen. We suspect his affinity for it comes from the fact that he, like Lightning McQueen are super duper fast.

His favourite Transformer (Thanks to Evan's Christmas haul of Transformers) is Bumblebee and when he sees the yellow and black Lamborghini on the road, he is most thrilled and hollers Bumblebee for all to hear.

His favourite song is a tie between Hakuna Matata and Circle of Life.

His favourite animal is the Lion. He fancies himself the Lion King and tells us so.
Mommy: What animal are you?
Muffin: Lion King! ROOOOOAAARRR!
Mommy: Oh!
Muffin: Are you scared Mommy? ROOOOOAR!
Mommy: What animal is Che Che?
Muffin: Che Che Bear. Kor Kor Dinosaur! Papa Dragon! Mommy Elephant!
Apparently we are all ferocious creatures!

His favourite food is porridge or rice and soup which is effectively porridge; much to his siblings dismay because porridge to them is baby food.

He is a contradiction in himself. He is the cheekiest little one around but is also very shy and is the only one that hides behind my legs. Both Jordan and Evan were happy to walk up to people and make friends.

Of course, he is also old enough to miss me and dreads us leaving the house for work. His mouth turns down on a good day and he goes into hysterical sobs that lead to upchucking on bad ones.

My heart aches a little that even the youngest one is growing up so quickly. But the never ending amusement makes up for it.

Technorati Tags: 3 yo preschooler, development

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Muffin Power.

All through this week, I have woken up to war cries or what sound like war cries. The twins and Muffin have been watching Leap Frog's Letter Factory where the monster cries "Wooga wooga wooga" to incite everyone to go "Aaaah!" for the A sound. They have taken upon Wooga Wooga as their own cry. Chasing each other round the house, they take turns shouting it while charging, William Wallace style at the other two. The other two will then disperse squealing in mock terror. Moments like that, I wish we lived in a house because I feel sure that one morning, I will wake up to a policeman at my door informing me that my neighbours have reported us for disturbance.

It is, however,  Muffin's choice word and weapon.

To scare his siblings, he chases them with his arms flailing crying "Wooga Wooga!" interspersed with gales of laughter.

To show displeasure, it is a frown coupled with "Wooga Wooga".

To inform us that he does not want to eat or clear up his toys, it is "Wooga Wooga!" with his back turned and him at top speed fleeing the scene of the crim

To announce his presence outside my bathroom as I take a shower it is "Wooga Wooga!" followed by fierce banging.

But the ultimate that sent me into side splitting stitches was when a bigger girl took his ball at the playground. Only reaching the girl's waist, he stares up, conjuring up his most angry knit eyebrow look and shakes his both fists angrily at her and hollers "WOOGA WOOGA!" while stamping his feet. The girl is taken aback by the effort and force of the 2 1/2 year old that she hands over the ball almost lamb like.

           

 Of all three, I think I am least worried about Muffin being bullied. With the Ng stare of death, the mega knit Tan brow frown and tough little battering ram disposition, it is unlikely that anyone would stand much chance against him. And if all that doesn't work, he always has his secret weapon, his cry till vomit DefCon4 defence that promises to stop any bully in his track. Superman had X ray vision and could fly, SpiderMan had his spidey sense. Muffin has his war cry, Death stare and Stink Puke and is pretty much set. 

Technorati Tags: twins, Learning through Play

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