Pack ratting

My husband's online moniker is Packrat. A pack rat is someone who keeps everything and throws nothing. In this age of trying to have live with less and to simplify our lives, pack-ratting is non kosher. I'm the one who goes into these decluttering frenzies where things are mercilessly thrown out. Jordan remembers how I packed off one of her fairy books (That wasn't because I wanted to declutter, but because I didn't want her reading the fairy books). Evan reminisces about the kiddie bed that he had and we gave away. Muffin fears it when I brandish the bin at his toys that are carelessly strewn across the floor. They all know that when Mommy threatens to throw stuff out, she means it.

But recently, I've been thwarted. My mother's to blame. She's been clearing things out and asking if I wanted them. And that's how I fell off the wagon. The things that she was asking me if I wanted were old stuff. When my dad saw them, he scoffed at them and asked why my mom was trying to unload 'old junk' onto me.

The thing is I wanted all of 'old junk'. All of it.

To me, none of it was junk. All of it was tied to a one childhood memory or other and it's a sign of age that they mean something to me.

I ended up home with a set of fish knives and butter knives made from ivory - I am sorry, elephants who died for them!- (even though we eat fish with our fingers and I abhor the taste of butter) and 2 painted food carriers.

Why?

Because I used to use the butter knives when I was young, for everything (except butter); Spreading Nutella, peanut butter, kaya and jam on bread, slicing and skinning fruit (unsuccessfully) and cutting up loads of play dough, they are intricately linked to my childhood.

Because I grew up seeing the food carriers in my grandma's house. My grandma's house holds a very dear place in the hearts of all the cousins of my generation. We all, at some point or other lived in the house and I grew up first, visiting it and later on living in it. The food carriers, when I first saw them,  were actually used to carry food; rice at the bottom, vegetables and meats on top. As I got older, they were behind the glass doors, on display where I could look at the floral design in detail and muse at how beautiful they were. That was until my grandma passed on and we sold the place. And that's when they went to my mom. 

So to hear that they might be thrown out, despite my lack of space and despite my house already looking like a child care centre from all the toys all over the place, I had to take them.

I really didn't need to think twice.

Read More

Grandpa's 70th: The undelivered speech

A part of Grandpa's dinner celebration involved speeches honouring Grandpa. The plan was for Packrat and his brother to say something followed by Grandpa's best friend saying something and then, us the daughters-in-law saying something. It was going to be a night of speeches and with a bunch of young kids running around, we decided on a truncated version of the list of speeches. Inevitably, the daughters-in-law round was the round to get cut.

But Grandpa still wanted to hear what we had to say and it seemed like an apt way to round off the my entire series for Grandpa's 70th.

What we were going to do was to tell those gathered some things that they didn't already know about Grandpa.

And this was what Jordan and I came up with.

1. Dad always wanted a daughter but we think he got more than he bargained for with his wife, two chattering daughters-in-law and three non-stop nattering grand daughters who occasionally rise to decibels that only dogs can hear. We all love him very much but we sometimes wonder if he misses the quiet.

2. Dad loves and cherishes making memories. He isn't big on treating himself to big luxury items but has brought us all on holidays and never says no when we ask him to come on holiday with us. JED will grow up remembering both grandparents in all their early holidays. They do not stop talking about the holidays they have gone on, with their grandparents. In fact, when we travel without Grandpa and Grandma, JED ask where they are. 

3. Dad is a great cook and loves cooking for those he loves. We all look forward to Sunday lunches because it's always a feast. When we were in Hawaii last year with them, Muffin went through a phase where he only ate fried rice and it HAD to be "Ah Gong's" fried rice. Grandpa's dream is for his grandchildren to ring him over the week to let him know what they want for Sunday lunch. God bless him and Grandma when all 5 children each demand something radically different!

4. Dad's been a great influence on our children. We have two 7 year olds who are as excited to watch BBC's Blue Planet as they are to watch Tom and Jerry and Scooby Doo. And our 4 year old went through a time where he only sang the Prologue from Les Miserables. Only Grandpa and Grandma understood why Muffin would spontaneously bellow '24601!'. (It's a Les Miserables thing)

5.This is from Jordan so it's Grandpa rather than Dad. Grandpa dreamt of being a hairdresser. How do I know this? He always has a comb in his back pocket. And when my hair is messy, he takes it out and combs my hair beautifully.

So there, the bits that were going to make up my speech to honour my 70 year old father-in-law, father to Packrat and Ah Gong to JED.

To many more years of love, laughter and long vacations!

Read More

Grandpa's 70th: Song and Dance

The minute we found out that there was to be a dinner to celebrate Grandpa's 70th, we knew that JED would be expected to be on stage. Jordan and Evan pulled it off spectacularly at their Grandma's 60th 4 years ago but they were just past 3 and were much less self- conscious than they are now. On top of that, they are three of them now to coordinate. 

Of course, being still in the midst of the Frozen frenzy, Jordan insisted on singing "Let it Go" to Grandpa. But her brothers refused to budge on that one and we didn't think that it was all that appropriate for a birthday offering. Eventually we chose to have them sing a Chinese hymn that they all had learnt in kindy; 我要向高山举目 (I lift my eyes to the hills). It was a song they knew well and they knew the actions to and was meaningful. And because Grandpa is special, to do something that required more effort rather than something that came easily to them. 

It required hours of practice and us feeling like rehearsal task masters with them. We had to make sure that the actions were expansive enough to be seen from the back, that they would sing in sync with each other as well as harmonise the bits where the boys sing a different bit from Jordan. Muffin, the youngest and the one that didn't quite realise why the presentation was important, had to be sometimes cajoled and occasionally coerced into action.

But eventually, they all rose wonderfully to the occasion, singing loudly with expansive actions, mostly in sync with each other and with diction that belied their true Chinese ability. Jordan and Evan even did an introduction and pretty much fooled all the guests into believing that Chinese was a language they were confidently proficient in.

It really was a true testament of how much JED loved their Grandpa. The usually shy and self-conscious Evan put aside all the butterflies in his tummy and asked for as long a speaking part as we gave Jordan. He confided in me later that he was terrified but he didn't back out because it was for "Ah Gong".

At the end of the night, JED's biggest complaint was that they didn't have enough mike time (especially Muffin) but the important thing was Grandpa thought everything awesome and had a grin wide enough to split his face.

Read More

Grandpa's 70th: The Gift

Grandpa turned 70 on Boxing Day and it was going to be a big do. The celebrations began at the beginning of December when we all went off on the cruise. It was Grandpa's way of celebrating his birthday with the family; all of us on the ship with him.

In between coming back from that and Christmas, we decided that we needed to get a present done for Grandpa. Something large enough to be presented to him at dinner. When Sher-maine blogged about the gift she gave to her kids' pre-school, we decided that would be perfect for a 70 year old who pretty much has everything.

We spent the entire Saturday morning at the Mosaic Workshop and some of the afternoon doing it. The first thing was to decide what we wanted on the mosaic.  That wasn't difficult. It would be the cruise we were just on and we would have the word "US" emblazoned onto the hull and stones representing Grandpa, Grandma and JED (though if you count carefully, there are more stones than there are people!). Jordan, our resident artist sketched out the ship on the ocean from a photograph we had. Packrat transferred it onto a 2 ft x 1 ft plank and the rest of us descended on it.

It took a lot of patience and it was very repetitive, placing one tile after another. It was pretty much, slather the glue and place the tiles, rinse and repeat a couple of thousand times. Thankfully, it moved quite quickly and even Muffin did a significant bit of it. They all lay claim to different parts of the mosaic. Muffin did all the cabins. Evan did all the sun, some of the cloud and sky. Jordan did the ocean and the different shades of it. Packrat and I just filled it where ever we needed to. 

 The owner, Nanette and her assistant Nerissa chipped in to help as well. Nanette made some suggestions, like leaving a blank space on the hull of the ship so that we could actually stick a photograph of us onto it. About 5 hours, with lunch in between, later, it was pretty much done though there was grouting and wiping to be done.

Nanette very helpfully tiled the edges and touched it up for us while we dragged 3 very exhausted and cranky children home. It wasn't the physical exhaustion but the mental exhaustion that came from focusing and tiling that killed them. Packrat and I actually found it very therapeutic though after hours of staring at it, when we closed our eyes, we were still seeing in mosaic. 

We loved the gradated ocean floor, the rainbow coloured "US" and the sun. I think if I did it again, the only thing I would change is to grout it in a darker colour but even as is, it was pretty awesome. 

Unfortunately, we don't actually have any pictures of JED presenting it to Grandpa. Everyone was focussed on making sure the hefty piece didn't drop on anyone's toes. 

But it did look plenty gorgeous and Grandpa's already figured out where to hang it in the house.

We were totally in love with the place and what I would give to actually have a work table totally tiled in mosaic. Now I'm itching to go back and do one in hydrangeas or irises for my mom but to be able to find a pocket of time to do that is another story.

Read More

Heat

The most important thing that I brought to Hawaii, after our passports and money, wasn't the medicines for the kids or diapers for Muffin but sun block.

Beach heat

 In Oahu where JED literally lived in the pool and on the beach, the sun was baking them a different shade of brown. The words "Slip, Slap, Slop" (the Australian-put-on-sun-block-to-prevent-skin-cancer campaign slogan) was constantly on the tip of my tongue. Even when we weren't on the beach, the heat was formidable.

To combat the Oahu heat and mindful to prevent heat stroke attacking my extremely stoked JED, I demanded

a. They dunk their heads constantly in the sea or the pool. Muffin was most displeased when I emptied an entire toy watering can over his head.

b. Constantly dragging them out of the water to drink water. Muffin proceeded to tell me that he peed in the ocean.

c. Go back to the apartment for lunch at mid day when the sun was at its fiercest.

d. Go back to the pool that was the shadiest; though that caused Muffin's lips to turn blue. The sun really made a difference in Oahu. The temperature between sun and shade was remarkable.

e.  Wear hats when they were on the sand or out with us. Pearl Harbour was beautiful for its significance and carefully manicured surroundings but there was so little foilage that JED sought refuge in the strangest places i.e. a cactus of sorts and under a Polaris Submarine Launched Ballistic Missile (SLBM).

 Desert Heat

On Big Island or Kona where we are now, the heat is different. Dry heat. The Big Island is basically volcanic rock so the air is dry, the heat is dry and the brush is dry too. the threat of bush fire is always high. Desert heat, essentially.

Evan would not let us get away with being in Kona without going to see the volcano crater. He had fantasises of seeing red, molten lava flowing.

Note to anyone who wants to go visit a volcano, remember that a volcano is many thousand metres above sea level and is therefore very, very uncharacteristically windy and cold. So despite the idea of the intolerable heat from molten flowing lava, we were stunned by the cold winds with Jordan declaring it colder than freezing Korea.

The saving grace? Steam vents emitting volcanic steam that schizophrenically blew comforting hot air on us followed by chilly winds making everyone shriek.

So this holiday has had us occasionally thankful for the heat and other times dreading it and now JED know that heat isn't generic and not all forms of heat are equal.

Read More

Food

One thing we do a lot of when we travel is to book accommodation where we can cook. It cuts costs, is much healthier and reduces the aggro of eating out with 3 children. In the Northern Hemisphere and in the USA, eating out is expensive. For a party of 8, just eating Tex-Mex pushes the bill over $100 easily.

So where ever we go, one of our first stops is always the supermarket. When in the US, shop like the Americans. Well, sort of. I take full advantage of the fact that a million grained, organic, hormone free, non-processed alternatives are available at a quarter of a cost they are in Singapore.

Jordan loves the fruit that we are able to get, Evan asks for spaghetti and meat sauce every moment he gets. He is in heaven because there is so much cheese and potatoes available at every meal. Muffin just keeps asking for fried rice, which is difficult to produce when we are out.

Their unanimous favourite, the Horizon milk that we got for them. In 4 days, they drank 6 litres of the milk.

Their grandparents derive a great amount a lot of joy seeing them eat with voracious appetites. Muffin and Evan have truly chubbed up in the recent months though Jordan still stay lithe (then again, she doesn't eat all that much)



I remarked to no one in particular that the children were getting rapidly Americanised. Milk at meals instead of water, something they have never ever requested in Singapore. They claim the taste of the milk is 'yummy'.

Every mother worries about how much their kid eats and it is a relief that they are eating well here. My only fear is that they demand the same kinds of food in Singapore. That truly, will break the bank.

Read More

I woke up over Afghanistan

I meant to post this yesterday. But I forgot. And this morning, I woke with a start over Afghanistan and realised that I had forgotten to post this.

So, here I am, doing it in Frankfurt while waiting to board en route to JFK in New York.

For the next ten days I'm on leave from being a mom to JED. I am however, not exactly scot free. I'm going to be my mother's tour guide over the East Coast of the USA. It's a tad early for the fall foliage but this is the only time that I can get off. JED are on vacation and Packrat can stand in.

I told Packrat a few nights back that I was nervous about going because I was leaving JED. He told me that they would be okay though my reply was that of course I would be nervous since I was in control of most of their lives. Even in the dark, I knew he was giving me a look. And obviously, I have control issues.

But I've planned as best as I can. Work's been sorted out and I've given him a Tiger Mom-esque list of work that the twins have to complete. There's also a schedule of all their activities next week, lest he forgets.

 

So all that is left for me to do is to pack my bags and go. The twins don't seem to care. They know they get to stay at Grandma's. Muffin knows to parrot that "Mommy is going to America on a aeroplane." But I doubt that he gets the full weight of what that means. The twins were fine right till the last moment when I got them to bed, then mega water works ensued as they imagined every single bad thing from coughs and cuts to leeches and crocodiles attacking Mommy. It made me cry too. But Packrat assured me that once they got it out of their systems (me too), we would all be fine.

I know I'm going to totally miss them and Packrat. But I think for a little while, it's time to be a daughter again instead of a mom! Goodness knows I haven't done enough of that in the last few years!

Read More

Ohana means family

One reason that constantly keeps us from uprooting and moving to a country much less stressful, cooler and with cleaner air is family. Packrat and I both believe that our families are important and moving would never be permanent unless we could move the maters with us. Now that we have children, that message is all the more important so that the children get wind of it.

Packrat believes very strongly in us modeling behaviour for our children. Why demand something from them if we can't do it ourselves? On top of that, we believe in setting up family traditions so that our kids will know what is important to us and hopefully bring it into their own families in the future. As is, they are beginning to figure it out. Both Jordan and Evan demand that where ever we go, we go as a family. Their greatest moments of joy are when all five of us are squashed in our bed and we're fighting for space to sleep. Muffin gets hysterical if one of us isn't present even if it is just getting into the lift. He also insists on holding both Packrat and my hand when he walks.

So some of the things that we do so that our kids will learn that family and grandparents are important people in their lives.
1. On the weekend, we kill ourselves getting from one house to another to share meals. And it is a half an hour drive sometimes for just a one and a half hour visit. If we can't go to the grandparents, we bring the grandparents to us.
2. We try to take vacations with the grandparents. That way, they are in a good mood and can spend time with the grandparents who are also chilled and in a good mood. 
3. We have meals with the children's great-grandfather, Tai Gong, even when the wanderlust grandparents are away, even if he already has had his cup noodles and wants to snooze.
4. We get the children to say hello to them, loudly for my hearing impaired father, goodbye and big hugs and kisses.
5. We celebrate their birthdays with them in a big way. The children get to pick out the cake, stick in the candles, make cards, bring presents, the whole works.

And we see even the gruffest of grandparents unbend under the smothering, joyful attention of the grandchildren. My father is not only deaf, he is grumpy and impatient with any sort of loud kiddish misbehaviour. But he allows his grandson to clamour all over him and his other grandson to sit on his lap and regale tales of cars, trucks and spaceships, even if he can't quite hear what the boy is saying.  It brings us joy to see it and I can only hope that it brings them joy as well.

Today is Packrat's mom's birthday. We celebrated it on Sunday. But I think it would be sucky if people didn't remember my real birthday just because I had a luncheon a few days ago to celebrate it. So, I got the children going. Every bone in my body screamed to not do anything this morning (I think I am either coming down with something or am just vibrating at an extremely extremely low frequency today). Anyway, I took a deep breath, hustled them out of the house to the nearby flower wholesaler. My plan was to buy a bunch of flowers, a vase and bring it over to Grandma's. But apparently, the wholesaler hasn't sold fresh cut bunches in years. Only pots of garden plants. That would do. Orchids, though not the newly christened Wills and Kate ones and off to Grandma's by way of dropping Muffin at school. 

Grandma could not stop grinning as the twins jointly hauled the pot of orchids into the house for her while hollering Happy Birthday. I think they made her day. She showed Tai Gong the flowers and proudly placed on in the middle of the dining table. She beamed. The twins beamed. I breathed and then hurried them off back into the car to go home to catch the school bus. Mission accomplished.

I wasn't all that close to my grandparents although I lived with both grandmas at one point or other in my life. Even then, I remember seeing my mother make the effort to visit the one we weren't living with, always going armed with tea snacks and me in the back seat. I now know why and I hope that it is something the children will also pick up from what we have done.

But for now, I want to curl up in the corner and just phase out from the morning's activity before resuming my parenting duties in an hour's time.

 Technorati Tags: pre-schoolers, grandparents

Read More