Divide and Conquer

I haven't slept in the same bed as Packrat for weeks. No, we haven't been fighting and I haven't relegated him onto the couch. In fact, we have a luxurious, new, hotel standard mattress that the both of us love. We love it so much we look forward to going to sleep each night.We gave the children our old mattresses. So out with their old little beds and in went our mattress. Now, all three children sleep on one huge King sized mattress.   But more often than not, one of us still ends up  sleeping on the old mattress with the children. And no matter how plush the new mattress is, it becomes like an empty hotel bed.

There are various reasons and they are all child related.
1. We are trying to get Evan to go to the toilet at night. By we, I mean Packrat. Evan is far too heavy for me to carry while groggy. And because he does that, on some nights, he is so exhausted he just collapses onto the kids' bed and spends the night there.

2. Nightmares. Screaming kids who dream about their fathers sitting on the precious bird eggs that they found to monsters of different shapes and sizes. It takes so long to settle them, we inadvertently pass out there.

3. A migrating army. Our children understand military strategy at its most basic. Send in waves at a time. So, first, Evan will come over muttering and whining; only to stop when his head burrows into our quilt and pillows. Following the advice of Supernanny, we walk Evan back to his bed and tell him that it is night time and he has to sleep in his bed. Before we are able to fall back to sleep, in comes a sleep walking Muffin looking for Mommy. Muffin will refuse to settle where ever as long as Mommy is not within smelling distance. So, off we go again. By the time I wake up, aching from having tried to contort my body into whatever available space left by the children, Jordan is staring at me, smoothing my hair at 6 in the morning. Wanting to at least enjoy my bed for an hour, I stumble back and crawl under the covers beside a sleeping Packrat, only to have a little Jordan wiggle herself between her father and myself. Then I ask myself which is more important, enjoying the mattress or another hour of sleep? The latter wins so I move once again back to the children's room where there is more space since Jordan has snuggled up to her Papa.

4. Being sick. It sucks when I am sick. I think I am only to be allowed to be sick for a day before everyone's patience runs out and I have to suck it up and just do what needs to be done. Thankfully, Packrat understands that and will try and give me space to recover meaning that he will sleep with the kids so that they won't wake up and come wandering over. It is also a matter of self-preservation. If I am breathing into his face while I sleep, he will get my bug as will the children. So he splits till the germs are less lethal.

I remember sleeping in my parents' room, on the weekend. The deal was I could sleep with them then. I wish my kids understood those rules. My new mattress' cost-per-use is still very high and Packrat is often late for work. There isn't a working alarm clock in the children's room and his 'alarm' is me being woken  by a screeching Muffin, angry that his sibling weren't giving in to him in whatever it was he wanted. 

So on the rare weekend where the older children have opted to spend the night at their grandparents, it is when we really look forward to just languishing in bed. Of course, there is still Muffin rolling around to kick us back into reality. 

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