Baby shower

Some wonderful friends of mine threw me a baby shower earlier in the week. It's always great fun to have a gathering of girls with no men around. The husbands gamely disappeared leaving us to our own devices. Thanks to Tym, we had baby shower themed cookies that we could decorate. Unfortunately, it only served to prove why we weren't artists or in the baking industries. Most of our cookies, whether it was the rattle shaped, the pram shaped or the bottle shaped resulted in a royal mess of icing, sprinkles and whatever other toppings we so artistically put atop it. At the end of it, there was a sugar induced haze and high from our art experience.




Then there was the opening of gifts. Fun stuff. Toys for the offspring. No boring stuff. My friends had balked at the idea of getting me necessary items like milk bottles and diapers even though I was advised that they were the most practical. I'll save that for the parentals or the office when staff welfare is cracking its head as to what to send over in the hamper.


The unexpected outcome of the baby shower however was a mini meltdown on my part when I got home. I think it had to do with the fact that I was beginning to feel slightly more immobile and this was the last bit of fun stuff I could do before the offspring arrived. And that thought sent me into a depressing tizzy. All the unreasonable feelings of being alone in this big adventure and the insecurity of what the future held just hit me like a brick wall reducing me into a big soppy puddle of tears. Packrat had little idea what to do because this came right out of left field and he just let me cry and rant about how perhaps this adventure had been a misguided decision and how I may end up rejecting the offspring.

Most of it is unwarranted but I guess there is a growing element of fear and uncertainty about what is to come. It was a little bit like that right at the beginning but I think that was coping more with a sense of disbelief and physical discomfort. The second trimester was great because it started getting exciting and everything was different, the way my body was, the movements I was beginning to feel etc. Now, I'm faced with the reality that it isn't going to be all that much longer. That my life will be turned upside down and there'll be all these things I will have to contend with- breast feeding, screaming offspring, bathing, diaper changes, great amounts of parental interference, saggy flappy skin, stitches of one kind or another, my relationship with Packrat changing, the perpetual lack of money etc. The gestational period is coming to an end and with that, real changes that we've only talked about in theory till this point. I know I'll survive and I'll cope, but with everything else, the fear of the unknown is always scarier than the actual experience.

But then again, that's the rational me talking. For now, the irrational me isn't getting as much air time or rather, she's preoccupied with other things and leaving the rational me to sort out what needs to be sorted out at this point. I'm trying my best to keep her under wraps. I guess not putting her on a sugar high with its corresponding plunging mind altering withdrawal would be a good place to start.

Technorati Tags: Pregnancy, baby shower