The Stomach Flu Week; What we learnt from it.

The past ten days or so have been surreal. It's been a combination of dejavu and groundhog day. JED have taken ill in a way that they've never done so before. They've never really ganged up on us and plotted to consecutively fall with a 3 day grace period in between.

It was groundhog day because they fell in the same way. First, the complaint of the headache with lethargy, then the stomach ache, which is rapidly followed with  repeated upchucking followed by cramps that could rival contractions and spontaneous diarrhea.

Deja vu was the stronger sentiment because
a. When they were babies/ toddlers with less robust immune systems, if our clinic had frequent flyer miles, we would have got round trip tickets for the family to Disneyworld. In the last week, we were in the GP's office 3 times and the Emergency Room once in the middle of the night.

b. Both Packrat and I have been going to work on 3 hours of sleep and getting through the entire day on that and adrenaline. It's just that the last time we had to do this, we were much younger and we were more junior in our professions.

c. We were chucking out diapers on the hour. With such a virulent strain of a gastro-intestinal bug, the only way to save the furniture was to put even the eight year olds in diapers. My only problem was finding a diaper that could fit a 30 kg child.

d. The house smelt distinctly of oils, soiled diapers, anti-bacterial sprays and the washing machine was going on through the day. At the same time, there was this fog of exhaustion but hyper alertness that we were operating through that felt unpleasantly familiar.

It led both of us to unanimously declare that we didn't miss having young children or the sleep-limited- ships in the night - existence that we end up living through.

e. Children being very ill, like having infants around, bring about back seat nursing by everyone around us, family, friend, foe and even stranger. Everyone insisted on doing what they swear/ swore by. Since we did indeed have 3, we actually tried to take some of the advice. At best, we would have found something that works, But most of the time, it ended up with us changing more clothes, sheets and spraying down the house.

We were told to
a. boil rice with lots of water and feed the water to the ill child. - In theory, that makes sense. Carboyhydrates and liquid, necessary for a child severely dehydrated and retching. Unfortunately, the sight of white porridge causes not just one but all my children to retch and becomes counterproductive.

b. hydrate with 100 plus- Isotonic. Makes sense because there are the salts and sugars. Unfortunately, 100 plus itself is gassy and that makes it another trigger for the spewing. And if I'm going to replace 100 plus with another isotonic, I'm going to find a drink that they like, increasing the chances of them possibly keeping it down.

c. let sleeping children sleep- Dehydration causes disorientation and drowsiness. Muffin was rapidly getting to that point, his skin was scaly, he lay still and staring blankly in space drifting in and out of sleep. We kept being told, Muffin just needed to sleep and rest when I insisted on waking him up to force sips of juice/ ribena/ water down his throat. Thankfully, I'm thick-skinned that way and kept insisting.

d. get the child to drink coconut water- Full of electrolytes. Good for the spewing, purging child. Once again, good in theory but did not live up to expectations. My couch is testament to the failure in execution.

e. listen to the child- One of the meds was bitter beyond belief and required said child to leave it under the tongue and let the system absorb it. It worked like a dream but it required a high tolerance for the bitter and the fact that there was no food or liquid for half an hour after made it difficult. Of course, any child would protest a repeated dose despite it being necessary. Unfortunately, in a situation like this, there is nothing democratic about parenting. Unfortunately also, when the grown ups decide to listen to the child instead of the prescription on the bottle, the child ends up throwing up repeatedly till one of us, mean cruel parents returns.

What did however work was
a. oils- We did the whole gamut. I do the whole Young Living thing and threw everything at their bellies and constitution. While it didn't stop the virulence of the bug, it made them feel more comfortable and purified the air in the house. For Jordan, who had cramps that approximated labour pains, we piggy backed both the Young Living oils with the traditional Chinese Ru-Yi oil that they used as babies.

b. the hot water bottle- Cramping in small children apparently cannot be helped by adult type anti-spasmodics. So the only way to get past the cramps is to, like childbirth, let it pass. Easier said than done but the traditional hot water bottle did help quite a bit. Our kettle has been somewhat over-taxed.

c. the onion omelette- About the weirdest thing I've ever done. Once again, a throwback to baby days, this time to the early baby days when our beloved confinement nanny was with us. 8 years ago, the twins had horrific colic and our nanny chopped up shallots, dry fried them, beat an egg and poured it over the onions to fry. When cooled, she placed a muslin cloth over the baby's belly and placed the egg over it with another piece of muslin wrapped over it. Very bizarre to have an infant smell like something out of a nasi lemak dish. Half an hour later, all the excessive gas in the baby would come trumpeting out. Because we couldn't do much for Jordan's cramping, Packrat suggested we tried that. We did, despite her protests and an hour later, she was happily watching television.

d. feed the child whatever he or she can keep down- We ended up feeding JED Milo cereal balls, frozen juice lollies, copious amounts of Ribena and toast with sugar and Milo powder on it. Eventually, there would be a breakthrough and they eat something resembling a meal and we know we're in the clear. Till then, it truly was a matter of throwing high calorie, low irritant foods at them and praying that they pick up some of them.

We're hoping that the worst is over because I'm truly truly exhausted and would love a sleep holiday with a gorgeous pillow top mattress and lush sheets but I don't think that's on the cards at this point. So, I'm thankful for little things like the fact that it's a long weekend and that the house no longer smells of vomit and poop.

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Birds and the Bees Part 1

T'was inevitable that at some point, the twins were going to ask how babies were made.

This happened last night. In bed, just before they went to sleep. It started with Jordan lamenting that she didn't want to get pregnant or give birth because it was painful. And my telling her that it was okay to feel that now and she might change her mind later.

It's amazing that even at 8, they could fathom that accidents do happen because her anxious reply was concern about what would happen if they forgot they didn't want a baby and accidentally kissed and as a result, she got pregnant.

She missed a couple of steps there.

That's when I decided it was time that I took them through some basics. In that split second, I decided that I had to be as truthful and as informative as possible.

1. So I used the right terms. There was no couching of genitalia in more cutesy terms that we do on occasion use (though I try to be evasive here).

2. I laid down the ground rules.
a. Girls and boys have anatomy that work together to create a baby. But that doesn't happen till after marriage. Underline, underline, super bold, with exclamation marks.
b. Since the boy parts are more obvious, the definite curiosity must be tempered with the fact that asking a girl where her specific parts are could lead to very dire consequences; ranging from getting slapped to getting arrested for indecent propositioning.

3. I would explain the processes and the parts involved and talk about how to keep safe. (While I do firmly in abstinence, I want to be sure that if they chose any other path, parental wrath and chastity belts notwithstanding, they needed to be safe)

4. I would also explain where we stood as a Christian family.

I didn't quite manage to cover every bit of it. We never made it to the actual process of how a baby was made. What I had not counted on was so much laughter that it was hard to go on. There were obviously questions and here's the 8 year old's toilet humour laced FAQ.

Q. So I pee out sperm???
A: No you don't. You use the same equipment but different things can come out of it.

Q. What happens if pee came out into the woman instead of sperm?
A. You would have a partner who would be extremely pissed off with you (pun totally intended, which they actually got and sent them into greater gales of laughter) and might never ever want to let you go near her again.

Preamble:  I had explained that it was also something that ought to happen between 2 people who loved one another.
Q: What happens if you want to make love but not want a baby?
A: Then there are things that you can use, like a condom. (They had seen a condom before in a coke-Mentos experiment).
Observation: So you use something like a plastic bag to make sure the sperm doesn't swim out?
A: Uhm, yes.
Observation: Then you just throw away the plastic bag? Do you have to tie a rubber band around it so it won't spill into the bin?
A: Well, it's not exactly a plastic bag but it works the same way and yes, you'll have to tie it up to throw it away. That's only polite.

Q: It's like poking right? So won't it hurt?
A: It would hurt if it isn't done properly.

By which time, they were both convinced that copulating was going to be painful, troublesome and required the use of plastic bags.

I did make them both swear not to talk about this in school because knowing them, something would get lost in translation and calls from exasperated teachers or annoyed parents would be likely to follow.

There will probably have to be a part 2 because we never got to the actual bit of how the baby is made. Time to take out the book that I have called "How babies are made.".

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Peer Pressure; The Gadget Edition

Over the Chinese New Year season, one of mrbrown's updates was "Words I find myself saying the most to my kids during ‪#‎CNY‬: "Oi! Put the iPad/iPhone down!"

It was a refrain too true for us as well. JED know that iDevices aren't kosher when it comes to entertaining themselves. And they are all good about it until they are faced with some other kid whipping out their iDevice then everyone gravitates toward it. Moths, naked flame, that sort of them.

While they know the rules by heart, their sense of self-restraint is as strong as everyone else playing by our rules. Unfortunately, we are in the minority and that makes it hard for our soon to be 8s and newly minted 5 to resist.

We go visiting or, during the non-CNY season, go out with a bag loaded with non-tech entertainment. Crayons, colour pencils, paper, magnetic puzzles and books; all stuff that JED are happy to play with on a regular day at home. The problem is that these work at home because there isn't an iDevice for them to fall back on. But it's a losing battle that we end up always having to fight; an uphill battle when many around us whip it out as their first resort to resolve boredom. Analogue toys and entertainment don't stand a chance when they are put beside their loud, flashy and digital cousins.

We do need to state on the outset that occasionally, JED do get time on the iDevices, like the last hour of budget-non in flight entertainment- flights where we need a breather from the non-stop stream of conversation that they've held since the plane took off or when they've displayed incredible patience, maturity and resistance in a situation or when there are sharp instruments about and we need them to stay perfectly still.

The point is that we don't want them to rely on the gadget as a first pick antidote against boredom. Because truly, they are harder to parent with the gadgets as child-minders. We've seen how when Muffin gets too much screen time and we try to take it away, there is much screaming and tantrum throwing. We've seen how the twins fight over a gadget because each feels that they haven't had enough time on it. We've seen how they turn into mindless drones unable to answer the simplest questions when they are watching pissed off birds attack alien green pigs. Our solution then, is to remove offensive gadget for more peace round the house. And every time we are at gatherings where these devices reign supreme, we go home with more angsty, demanding and indignant children.

In desperation, Packrat and I eventually resorted to telling them to pick between being able to watch television at home (another rare and treasured occurrence) and crowding around an iDevice to watch someone build something or plant crops. Yes, perhaps it is replacing one evil with another. Our defence is the television is more easily controlled by us and JED have to always come to a common consensus as to what to watch before the television goes on. That and the fact that television is purely a public holiday or weekend indulgence for them.

It is a sad day when the least of all the evils is the television set and it is a viable alternative to 5 kids staring at the glow of one tiny device. 

We've tried everything.

a. Rationalising with them that non-screen games where they can include everyone else are more fun.
b. Lugging about the aforementioned bag of tricks.
c. Rewarding them for not being on the device.
d. Warning them of a future of rapidly increasing myopia.
e. Intoning the dangers of how these devices cause their brain cells to disintegrate and dribble out of their ears.

Sometimes one works better than the other, sometimes they need to work in tandem and sometimes none work at all.

While I love my gadgets as much as the next person, I really don't love how complicated it's made child rearing.

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A Sort of Review: Tackling hard issues like adoption

Adoption.

An extremely loaded word these days. And because it's been the centre of some very heated debates, people forget that adoption is in fact an emotionally charged issue, for everyone involved.

When Packrat and I were trying to have kids, we had to face the distinct possibility that we couldn't have any of our own. That started us talking about adopting. For some reason, I got it into my head that I wanted to adopt a child from Vietnam. Over the course of our discussion about adoption, it came to light that if we went through with it, there would be people in our immediate circles that would have frowned upon what we would have done. And even though we hadn't even begun the process at that point, I was indignant on behalf of the child that we could have potentially adopted. At the same time, it made us very aware of the obstacles we were to face if we went through with it.

Packrat constantly tells me that I need to be more like Teflon. I need to let things roll off my back. But I haven't ever been able to and the more I thought about adoption, the more I wondered and got angry at the imaginary comments that would be either whispered or blatantly said to us. "Why are you adopting? Why don't you just try a little bit harder? Aren't you scared that the baby you adopt has some strange disease or worse, was the offspring of some axe murderers? " I realised that these weren't just voices in my head because the few people I did mention something to, about our considerations, their comments approximated the above.

We never had to go through with adopting but those months when we pondered gave me a glimpse into what parents who adopt must go through. Granted most people would be thrilled and supportive but oh! the tongues that could and would wag, especially with the older generation. Packrat's response to all this was to shrug and to say that the only thing we could do, as teachers, was to make sure the next generation wouldn't react in the same way.

Enter Darren and Melanie.

2 1/2 years ago, they adopted Christian when he was about 3 1/2 months old. Darren stunned Packrat one day by whipping out his phone and asking "Want to see my son?" with no preamble whatsoever. After Packrat picked his jaw off the ground and told me about it, we rushed over to visit and brought Muffin along. In fact, we brought a whole bunch of Muffin's clothes and toys for Christian because Darren and Mel were given about a week to prepare for bringing Christian home. Every one including Muffin was excited about the new baby. He kept trying to put toys on Baby Christian.

Over the course of the last two years, Mel and I have had conversations about the various reactions she's experienced with Christian and some of them were unsurprisingly small-minded and mean. And that's where my admiration for Mel lies. Mel has dealt with the comments in a more constructive way than many others, myself included, would have done. While I am certain she has ranted and raved about people who have said mean things about her kid, like most of us do, she also went on to write The Adventures of Squirky to introduce the idea of adoption to children. I am sure part of it was to prepare herself and Darren for the time where they would have to talk to Christian about it. But at the same time, for her to write it meant that it was out there in Singapore, for many Singaporeans to pick up and read. And that is what will help to slowly change things.

Mel sent us a signed copy of  Why Am I Blue? for Muffin recently and JED descended upon it. We read the book together so that I could explain certain things to Muffin and the twins read it on their own. It's still sitting on our dining table and that, in our family, is high praise. It means the book is still being read and flipped through at meal times so often it is futile to keep it on the shelf.

I asked JED what they thought about the book and the twins reply was that it was special. Muffin was still trying to understand why Squirky was blue.

Anyway, there are many reasons why they thought the book was special.
1. The Mommy and Daddy are like us. (Meaning they are Asian). They don't have very many Asian based books so it was novel to see the characters in the book drawn like them.

2. The book isn't just about being happy. Muffin was very fixated on the part where Squirky and Emma were both in tears. (Once again, while they have read books where someone is chucking a fit or there is little bit of sadness or gloominess in it, they've never experienced a book where the characters are genuinely upset and distraught.)

3. There was no ending to the book (It is a series of 6 books).

4. The book had questions and answers at the back. "Are we supposed to be able to answer these questions, Mommy?" (It is an FAQ to help parents deal with the questions that their young adopted children may ask; though the twins, newly introduced into the world of comprehension exercises worried that it was the longest comprehension passage in the world.)

This last point is what makes the book truly great. It is what makes it more than just a kid's picture book. The questions do not just help parents who are unable to answer difficult questions. It also gives other parents an idea of what might go through the mind of an adopted child or any other child wrestling with the concept for the first time and how to talk about different types of families to their own children.

Much of the resistance and taboo in society regarding this issue isn't going to go away even if we clubbed every single person over the head. (I have thought about that but there just aren't enough clubs out there). The way to actually do it is through little people like JED, who are still tiny enough that their prejudices haven't yet been formed. With stories like that, about people that look like them doing something so simply extraordinary, it becomes a slightly easier feat.

For Packrat and myself, it was an opportunity to talk to the twins about how there are different ways families are set up; that the children don't really have to be born of the parents for parents to love them. Both were fascinated by the idea though they couldn't fully wrap their heads round the idea.

Jordan couldn't really see the difference between adopting Squirky and Squirky being a pet. (We told her that Squirky was more than just a pet and Emma saw him as a brother. Evan chimed in that pets didn't need to go to school but Squirky did.)

Evan couldn't understand why Squirky needed to find his real parents if Mummy and Papa were there and loved him so much. (We asked Evan about the times he stayed at Grandma's house and was perfectly happy there and he still wanted to know where Mommy and Papa were.)

Muffin wasn't sure he liked Squirky being so blue and couldn't understand why Squirky was part of the family since he was so blue. (We asked him if Evan or Jordan were blue or red or purple, would they still be his brother and sister?)

I don't think we've fully made a dent in helping them understand the myriad of issues behind it but I do like that it gave us the opportunity to talk about some things that we don't generally talk about and at the end of it, they still wanted to go back to the book again.

That in my book, is what makes a good book.

Squirky's adventures will be available to the public from 23 August onwards and everyone is welcome to its launch. It promises to be great fun.

Melanie sent us a signed copy of the book as a gift. We reviewed it because we can never resist a good book and this is more than just a good book. So, there was no monetary compensation in any way and all views and opinions here are ours and JED's two cents worth. 

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2B or not 2B

One of the things that amused me when the twins started school was that I got an email from Evan's form teacher about pencils. It was an email only about pencils. I like this teacher very much and I think she is great. But I was highly amused at the amount of effort she was putting into discussing pencils. It stated clearly that pencils could not be sharpened on both ends (boys might end up poking their eyes out. I know this could happen, but it still tickles). She also stated that, in his pencil box, there ought to be 5 'good quality' pencils. By that, she meant pencils with lead that didn't break too easily. Her rationale? So that the boys would not need to spend all their time sharpening pencils.

Pencils. I really wasn't thinking very hard about the pencils I was going to buy them. I was ready to buy them funky neon pencils and whatever fun ones that tickled my fancy. After all, since I was the one doing the stationery shopping, I ought to be the one having fun with it. But in the end, I just bought the boxes of 12 since I did have two kids to equip.

5 pencils for Evan meant 5 for Jordan and 2 spare. I imagined, very optimistically that I was done buying pencils for the better part of the year. The box, however, did.not.last.

By Chinese New Year, the pencils were beginning to look terribly worn down and we sub-ed a new one in. By week 8, I had to go to Evan's bookstore and pick up another box of 12. But alas, even with 5 pencils rotating in and out, we were pretty much down to stumps by now, the last week of term.

A pencil that had the beginnings of another tip. Obviously, he remembered what the teacher had warned him about.

I cannot figure out why.

Yes, I get that they do all their work in pencil and I get that they drop their pencils a lot but still, to power through 5, actually 6, full length pencils in under 10 weeks; that is quite a feat.

While it probably isn't the strangest or most important thing I have discovered since the twins have started Primary 1, it does rank somewhere near the top for the most inane discovery.

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Mom's homework woes

Since the twins started P1,the most common question I am asked, by parents who have primary school going children, is how do I cope with homework from two different schools for the same level. This is especially so because they are in Primary 1 and the concept of independent homework has yet to be mastered.

So to say the least, two different sets of spelling in English and Chinese and different paces at Math and various different pieces of oral work have left me extremely confused and frazzled regardless of my efforts to keep everything organised.

But there are little things that help me give up, retain some sanity and have some lunch while making sure they get homework done.

1. Show me the work
Rather than dig through their bags for homework, I make them dig through their own bags and pull out everything they need me to look at, sign as well as homework. It doesn't really save a lot of time but at least they come to me rather than my going to them. That way, I can be having lunch and barking at them to bring out their stuff. By the time I am done with lunch, they would have finally gotten everything out onto the table. Yes, it takes them that long, in between chatting, running off because something caught their eye or a bird flying by.

2. Combine the spelling lists

Cruel but convenient and I'm sure all the tiger moms out there would approve. Evan has 10 spelling words, Jordan has 8, so for the week, they get to learn 18 words. They haven't caught onto it yet but I'm sure when they have, I can't do this anymore!

3. Level the playing field

The homework isn't consistent. As a rule, Jordan seems to have more than Evan does. So to prevent the complaining, Evan gets to do Mommy's homework while Jordan gets through her stuff. I try to work on Evan's Chinese while purposely ignoring Jordan while she does her work. This is in the hope that she will slowly learn to read instructions on her own and work out what she has to do without my sitting beside her. Eventually, I hope to graduate to not being there during homework time though I would want my presence to still be felt!

4. Make it fun

We have taken to making spelling fun by deliberating telling them to make the most ridiculous of sentences or stringing all the spelling words together into ridiculous sentences and having them write it down. Purists would probably burn us at the stake because we are totally ignoring semantics here. Anyway, it gets them chuckling and raring to hear the next ridiculous thing that has been made up.

The truth is, for the life of me, I cannot remember how I learnt how to spell; possibly why I spell so badly as an adult. But I know for a fact that writing it down a million of times is not just boring and may not be the most effective way of getting them to remember the words.

Both of them love using different mediums to learn it. Physical letters, writing it on our glass door, using chalk, sticks, paint and playing word games. Occasionally, I get the opportunity to do something fun that totally appeals to them. Jordan had to learn how to spell her shapes. Muffin has a set of shape stencils. So, I told her that after she did the boring write-the-word a couple of times thing so that she could draw out the shapes and label the shapes (not using the word 'spell' in my later instructions). She loved it and insisted on cutting each one out and then use them to teach Muffin.


5. Playing Teacher

I think because children are exposed to teachers so much of their day, they inadvertently want to be teachers. I suspect it has got to do with the fact that their teacher wields ultimate power and subconsciously, they all want the same thing.

I let them take over the testing of each other. They are way more Nazi than I am with their 'student' not a lot of time in between words and great mocking and teasing ensues when mistakes are made. But they take it in their stride, revel in getting their own back when it is their turn to be teacher and all the while, not just having to learn their own set of words but their student's set because Mommy doesn't allow the spelling list to be used during the marking.

These don't solve my problems but they make things slightly easier or slightly more entertaining and easier to bear. I never thought I would dread homework more than I did when I was in school, but we discover new things about ourselves everyday!

 

    

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Mom the Reluctant House Help

This is the second time our helper has been out of action. And this time it's worse because she's been hospitalised with a mysterious localised pain under her right rib cage. That has meant, prior to the hospitalisation, she was already out of action and now, she isn't around.

That translates into Mommy springing into action and becoming all around house help, teacher, chauffeur, cook and logistics officer.

Even though we've had practice with it before, it's worse because it's term time and it's crunch time for Packrat and I.

The days are 5 am days to make sure that everything and everyone is ready so that I can leave immediately for work when they go off to school. It's also meant that I've had to figure out who can be home to get Muffin off the bus if I can't do it.

And the only reasons I haven't really reduced into a puddle and shoved my head into the ground ostrich-like style are

1. The twins are older.
They respond to instruction. And if that fails, they respond to threats. They also know that Mommy is really not in the mood to be pissed off. So the only one that actually does the pissing off is Muffin. And he's learnt also to do as instructed because Mommy's not very merciful when stressed. The twins have been helpful picking up laundry, making beds, making breakfast and keeping toys.They also try to get Muffin to help on my behalf, usually ending in him in tears because he doesn't take kindly to being told by them what to do.

2. The village around me that chips in to help.
There is great benefit living near the parentals. The grandparents let us drop them off so that we can run errands or see said helper in hospital. For the week, dinner is at their house so that it is one less thing I have to worry about. Our neighbour who is happy to help us pick up the kids from the school bus and keep them with her if necessary. She pops down to help me in the mornings just so that we can get everyone out of the house in time. That means that the number of times I have needed to channel the F1 driver has been reduced. Could. Not. Be. More. Thankful.

3. Thank goodness for frozen reserves.
I love leaving myself surprises. The last time we made salmon potato patties, we froze an entire batch. That meant that all that is necessary to do is to stick the patties into the grill and Evan would have a filling tea after school.

4. Let some things slide.
The house isn't immaculate. The twins do not do as much work as they usually would. What I did was to actually keep them all in one room this morning and tell them to play with the door shut. That way, the mess gets limited and they cannot shirk the responsibility of the mess because all 3 are in there and all 3 are party to the mess. That gave me time to finish cleaning up after breakfast. By the time I was done, they were sweaty and more than ready for a bath. That worked out. Bed times have also become slightly later because it has had to take into account us coming home from the grandparents' from dinner and my needing to unpack and wash up their day's rubbish.

5. Give ample time for everything.
I have been up at 5 every morning to get the kids ready. Rather than rush, forget things and be shorter-tempered, I wake up earlier, put on some music in the kitchen and start doing the necessary. By the time they are up at 7, most things are done and I actually have little pockets of time to cuddle them, accede to ridiculous requests like replacement batteries for remote control cars (Evan), look for his lion hat (Muffin), look for her colour pencils because she HAS to have the right colours for the dolphin she is colouring (Jordan).


6. Most importantly, an extremely supportive and helpful Packrat.
Exhausted from my day that began at 5 am and had not stopped and being faced with overflowing baskets of dirty laundry, I am torn between the need to sleep (my eyes closed over dinner) and the need to see empty laundry baskets (that is one thing I can't let slide. There is smell associated with it!). Packrat, equally exhausted gallantly steps in and volunteers to wait till the laundry is done to hang it up before heading to bed. That way, all I needed to do was to dump everything into the machine, climb into bed and lose consciousness in ten seconds. I know he went to bed quite late as a result and and I am thankful for him doing that and watching JED while I was at work on Saturday. It couldn't have been easy for him because when I came home, he had the stressed out look of someone who was alone with 3 kids under 7 who weren't particularly cooperative.

I know my brother would say it builds character. And part of me enjoys having the house and JED to ourselves but the other part of me is exhausted and crying out for some reprieve and possibly a vacation that comes with "all you can go for" spas.

Till then, I shall just keep repeating "this too shall end."

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How to Survive travelling with JED -A Review and Discount Code-

We are vacation whores. We live for vacations. Pre-kids, the way we got from one school term to another was to look forward to the vacation that demarcated a break. We do the same thing now, except we bring JED with us. We still spend quite a bit of time travelling without JED. Travelling with and without them are different experiences and we do both for different reasons.

The first time we travelled with just the twins, we were extremely stressed about everything. We suffered from the Goldilocks syndrome. We worried about the food, the water, whether we brought enough, whether we brought too little or that we had brought too much and were too weighed down. 

We are off for an epic 28 day vacation in less than a month's time and I've had to start thinking about what to pack. With 3 kids, I can't pack the night before anymore. 

People with less than 3 kids ask how we manage such long breaks with them without wanting to drop them off at the orphanage on the way home.

We've had 6 years of doing it and while we haven't gotten it down pat, we've discovered a couple of tricks that actually make things easier.

1. We vacuum seal all their clothes either according to kid or according to location, depending on how far, how long or how complicated the trip is. On shorter trips where space and volume of clothes aren't a concern, I allocate a bag of clothes for each of them. I have to use my JED Packs connections to benefit us when we travel as well.

2. Where ever possible, we stay at serviced apartments or just apartments in general. Airbnb is our best friend because it allows us to book apartments for the entire family at a fraction of the cost of a hotel stay and it's reliable. By doing that, we get to do laundry and we can cook and occasionally even do a barbie.



3. We've also learned to either order online and ship to where ever we are headed, only in the USA or we bring what is needed. While I hate over packing, I hate being stranded even more. So, I spend a great amount of time looking for travel size bottles of whatever I need. Someone said just buy the travel bottles from Watsons and transfer whatever we needed from the big bottles we have at home. We did that once. But until today, I have a couple of travel sized Watson's toiletries bottles sitting on my bathroom counter top with unidentifiable stuff inside likely to give me some sort of rash.

4. I also found that the best place to find the travel sized kid friendly toiletries and essentials I needed was at an expo. Only with my travel list complete do I ever feel that I am ready to travel and can officially be excited about it!

5. To make sure before hand that whatever we are bringing for JED- milk, diapers, vitamins, food, medicine or toiletries- are things that they aren't allergic to. Nothing increases the stress of travelling with kids as much as travelling with sick kids.

6. The last thing I do that helps with the stress is to actually get the older kids to look after themselves where ever possible. The twins are now at the age where they carry their own bags and they actually do like to take ownership of what they have in there. They consciously check that they have an extra set of clothes, toys or books, wipes, plasters, tissue paper and sanitiser.

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So, at a recent kid expo that I went to, I spent an inordinate amount of time at one booth. I was riveted by shelves of products from Human Nature.

It was like Christmas come early. Everything on the shelves was organic, naturally scented, they smelt great (the Kids Nature Shampoo smelt of divine tangerine and while I have never really like the smell of pineapple scented products, it made me change my mind) and most importantly, for the reason I was there, most things came in travel sized bottles. Christine, the owner of Human Nature was happy to let me have some of the travel size versions to try out and I chose what I needed for travelling.

The first on my request list was obviously 2 bottles of Kids Nature Shampoo (one in each of the scents, Pineapple Pawikan and Tangerine Tarsier) and 2 bottles of Kids All Natural Spray Sanitiser that were 50 ml bottles so the twins could take them aboard the plane in their trolley bags. When I let the twins pick the ones they wanted, Jordan naturally gravitated towards the pink Candy Cane flavour one and kept wanting to use it. She had over clean hands and the air around her smelt like candy cane. Evan was the opposite. He liked it so much, he refused to use it unless necessary lest it ran out before the trip and what if he needed to sanitise his hands then? (Evan's worry wart nature surfaces at strange times!) 

Since we were going to be away for close to a month and since we had rented apartments with laundry equipment, I also chose 1 bottle of Tough Love 100% Natural Laundry Detergent that was naturally scented with grapefruit and orange and 1 bottle of Tough Love Natural Dishwashing Liquid also scented with grapefruit and orange.

I wondered whether or not to bring the laundry detergent because at 900ml, it was a little bit on the hefty side. But where we were going to be staying for most of the time was an island which meant, anything that was not grown on the island  was priced in the 'daylight robbery' category. Packrat insisted that since we had so much luggage space (5 people meant 10 pieces of luggage weighing 23 kg each!) and the amount of space and weight we save in packing clothes, we could bring the detergent. I was happy to oblige.

The dishwashing liquid, I was most definitely bringing. Muffin still drinks milk from his sippy cup while we are out and I hate the idea of milk going bad and curdling into yogurt in his sipper in my bag. The twins drop their water bottles with unbelievable frequency requiring them to be rinsed out as often so the 250 ml bottle was going into the diaper bag when we got there and it would stay there till it ran out or we came back, whichever happens first.

In accordance to Rule number 5, I've test run both dishwashing liquid and detergent even though we're not leaving for another month as well as the shower gel. Pragmatically, I needed to make sure that JED weren't allergic to it, though unlikely since it was 99.97% natural and 100% free from harmful chemicals. And everything passed with colours. JED loved the shampoo and voted initially to bring both. Eventually, the Mommy's executive decision was to bring the Tangerine but it was a tough decision. There was nary an itch or rash in sight. And when the clothes came out of the machine, they didn't smell cloyingly sweet . They just smelt crisp and clean with a slight whiff of orange with the winds blew right.

All in, I was happy to have gone to the expo and discovered Human Nature. Not only did I find all the travel sized toiletries I needed, I found a new brand that was going to save me money off international shipping. JED are addicted to the shampoos and I'm going to be ordering more for them!

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And to give everyone the chance to enjoy the goodness of Human Nature, Human Nature is giving all Diaperbag readers and their friends a storewide discount of 15%. Just use the code HNDB15 by 27 October 2013.

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Disclaimer: Some people might roll their eyes at the fact that I'm bringing stuff that I don't really need to. Hotels provide shampoos and bath gels and we can easily buy detergent there. Generally, with kids who have sensitive eczema proned skin, I don't take chances, especially when the climate's markedly different.

I received the Human Nature products for purposes of this review; all opinions are my own.

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Barbie hair

I was having a conversation with a friend about when or whether we would ever let our daughters play with Barbie Dolls.

I had Barbie Dolls, so I don't think I would deprive Jordan of playing with Barbies. But not at this point. I got my first Barbie when I was 9 and I am using 9 as a benchmark.

I might get flayed for allowing Jordan to play with Barbies. After all, they send out the wrong body image message; making the big boobs, small waist and endless legs the ideal body type. The same kind of body type that will probably cause Barbie to trip over her own feet. That is a problem and I acknowledge that. But to me, the main reason why I have any objection to Barbie and why I'm waiting is that I don't want her to grow up so fast. Everything in society is rushing little girls to grow up, the Princess manicures, the heels on their shoes, the types of clothes that are available for them and of course the toys, not just Barbie but all the make up kits and the tween stuff. So, I'm trying not to be party to it, for as long as I can.

So, with all that bad press, why haven't I dumped all the Barbie Dolls that I have hidden in my cupboard?  Because I think Barbie playing is not all bad. I remember creating grand adventures for Barbie. The conversations and adventures they would have with one another were all very good company for a little girl whose brothers were much older and had grown up in a generation where mums did not go out of their way to arrange play dates. I didn't really mind because I had the Barbies, I made them a house and got them to date my brother's Action Men because I didn't have Ken Dolls (Much to the chagrin of both brothers!). Then, when I made friends with the girls in my compound, we bonded over the dolls. My Barbies made friends and we dreamed up even more epic stories and Barbie got grass burns, went swimming in the pool and spent all the rest of the time trying to get the water out of her body.

I also developed very deft fine motor abilities, putting on clothes and buttoning the teeny, tiny buttons on her clothes. And although I never mastered it, I acquired some rudimentary sewing skills while trying to very clumsily sew clothes for Barbie (I don't know why I bothered since she had such a vast wardrobe!)

But what left a long lasting skill was doing up Barbie's locks. Perhaps it was hair envy, because my hair was always a boring and unattractive short bob, that I paid great attention to her hair, brushing it, tying it up and eventually learning complicated braiding that I ended up being able to do on my own hair and now, Jordan's.

Jordan loves her hair done up; thanks to her Chinese enrichment teacher. Every Tuesday, she emerges from Chinese class beaming, not because she had a great class but because her teacher had once again weaved her hair into a complicated braid with all the ends stuck in neatly. So she asks that we do it for her at home.

And if I have the time, I do oblige because even though I am way past the Barbie age, I still find it extremely therapeutic and fun to mess around with hair. And thanks to all my prior training on my little plastic mannequins, I can weave her hair too albeit not as intricate as her teacher. Now, if only her hair wasn't so flyaway. But she loves it because it's something that Mommy does for just her.

What she must never know is that I also massacred many a Barbie's hair, leading to the conclusion that I could never be a hair dresser!

  Technorati Tags: JED, toys

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Christmas Necessities

Christmas is increasingly chaotic as JED get older and older. The older JED twins already know that Christmas is great and is filled with presents that they can open and lots of pretty new things. They were chuffed for days and by the time Christmas Eve rolled by, they were literally vibrating on the spot from all the excitement.

Even though they received gifts as early as a week before Christmas, I forbade them from opening them till Christmas. Note to self: That built suspense really great but it does accumulate A LOT to open come Christmas morning. And the twins knew that so first thing Christmas morning, taking note that they had gone to sleep at almost 11 pm on Christmas Eve, they shook me awake.

I dragged myself out of bed muttering something to myself about how Bill Watterson had it right in Calvin and Hobbes. Everything I remember reading in Calvin and Hobbes about his parents' reactions to him storming the house Christmas morning, was going through my head. 

Their excitement was certainly contagious and I woke up enough to participate and oooh and ahhh at their presents. Being there when they opened their presents meant that I had to also assemble what they got. As the present pile grew bigger and bigger, I realised that I was repeatedly using the same things to get the presents into work worthy conditions.

1. Philips Screwdriver- important instrument that opens up all the battery compartments for the blasted toys that require batteries.
2. Batteries (Mostly double As)- Toy companies must get a big kick back from Energizer and Duracell for making toys that require batteries. The attraction of the bright flashy lights that can cause seizures and the tinny, repetitive music that can wake the dead is just too great for the kids and they play it till the batteries go flat and we go broke buying new batteries. We have gone rechargeable but it still annoys me nonetheless because I have to go hunting for lost batteries and account for them in the various toys round the house.
3. Scissors- There is so much tape on the box to keep the toy down. And it is taped down in such a way that we can't use our fingers to break through it. I think it is a conspiracy to keep more workers in the production line.
4. Nimble fingers- The same people who figured out how to wire tie the blasted toys to the cardboard backing in the box are probably the same people who came up with the flexi-cuffs that cops use today or perhaps these are the people who evolve and make wire ties, earn a boat load of money and retire before they hit 30.
5. Wire Cutters- When said fingers are numb from all the un-doing and the child is driving you nuts with the millionth "please open my present!", cut through with wire cutters. Why I don't use it as the first option? 3 kids under 6 with wire cutters on the floor? Just asking for trouble.

            

And I have also learnt some key things about opening Christmas presents 

1. Never throw away instruction manuals. Evan is nuts about Transformers now. He discovered them after bringing home an encyclopaedia of Transformers. So, he got a ton of Transformers. Unfortunately, while he loves them and can go off at length about their stats, he can't transform them. Nimble fingers he does not have. So, he gets us or more specifically Packrat to transform them and to do that, Packrat needs the instruction manual. Unfortunately, Deadend's manual got tossed out accidentally so he remains a Deceptacon stuck in a car's body. Too bad for Deadend. 

2. If you know what the big presents are, get the kids to open the smaller ones first, because once the big ones are opened, the small ones stand no chance. And while this was happening, I was thinking of the poor toys in the Toy Story trilogy. 

3. Don't open all the presents at a go. Stagger them. Give presents air time and it helps prevent present fatigue. The 'wow's are louder this way. 

Anyway, we can finally see the bottom of the tree now and JED have enough toys to open a toy store all by themselves. But before they could do that, I made them pick toys from their new stashes and give them to our helper, for her son. I told them that unlike them, her son wasn't getting anything on Christmas and they should share some of what they had. And they picked some very nice toys for our helper's son. This fits into the bigger message we want to send out at Christmas. The same one that I wrote about for JEDPacks! And I hope that JED will remember all these little acts and will do these things without prodding when they get older.

 Technorati Tags: Christmas, Pre-schoolers

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