The Stomach Flu Week; What we learnt from it.

The past ten days or so have been surreal. It's been a combination of dejavu and groundhog day. JED have taken ill in a way that they've never done so before. They've never really ganged up on us and plotted to consecutively fall with a 3 day grace period in between.

It was groundhog day because they fell in the same way. First, the complaint of the headache with lethargy, then the stomach ache, which is rapidly followed with  repeated upchucking followed by cramps that could rival contractions and spontaneous diarrhea.

Deja vu was the stronger sentiment because
a. When they were babies/ toddlers with less robust immune systems, if our clinic had frequent flyer miles, we would have got round trip tickets for the family to Disneyworld. In the last week, we were in the GP's office 3 times and the Emergency Room once in the middle of the night.

b. Both Packrat and I have been going to work on 3 hours of sleep and getting through the entire day on that and adrenaline. It's just that the last time we had to do this, we were much younger and we were more junior in our professions.

c. We were chucking out diapers on the hour. With such a virulent strain of a gastro-intestinal bug, the only way to save the furniture was to put even the eight year olds in diapers. My only problem was finding a diaper that could fit a 30 kg child.

d. The house smelt distinctly of oils, soiled diapers, anti-bacterial sprays and the washing machine was going on through the day. At the same time, there was this fog of exhaustion but hyper alertness that we were operating through that felt unpleasantly familiar.

It led both of us to unanimously declare that we didn't miss having young children or the sleep-limited- ships in the night - existence that we end up living through.

e. Children being very ill, like having infants around, bring about back seat nursing by everyone around us, family, friend, foe and even stranger. Everyone insisted on doing what they swear/ swore by. Since we did indeed have 3, we actually tried to take some of the advice. At best, we would have found something that works, But most of the time, it ended up with us changing more clothes, sheets and spraying down the house.

We were told to
a. boil rice with lots of water and feed the water to the ill child. - In theory, that makes sense. Carboyhydrates and liquid, necessary for a child severely dehydrated and retching. Unfortunately, the sight of white porridge causes not just one but all my children to retch and becomes counterproductive.

b. hydrate with 100 plus- Isotonic. Makes sense because there are the salts and sugars. Unfortunately, 100 plus itself is gassy and that makes it another trigger for the spewing. And if I'm going to replace 100 plus with another isotonic, I'm going to find a drink that they like, increasing the chances of them possibly keeping it down.

c. let sleeping children sleep- Dehydration causes disorientation and drowsiness. Muffin was rapidly getting to that point, his skin was scaly, he lay still and staring blankly in space drifting in and out of sleep. We kept being told, Muffin just needed to sleep and rest when I insisted on waking him up to force sips of juice/ ribena/ water down his throat. Thankfully, I'm thick-skinned that way and kept insisting.

d. get the child to drink coconut water- Full of electrolytes. Good for the spewing, purging child. Once again, good in theory but did not live up to expectations. My couch is testament to the failure in execution.

e. listen to the child- One of the meds was bitter beyond belief and required said child to leave it under the tongue and let the system absorb it. It worked like a dream but it required a high tolerance for the bitter and the fact that there was no food or liquid for half an hour after made it difficult. Of course, any child would protest a repeated dose despite it being necessary. Unfortunately, in a situation like this, there is nothing democratic about parenting. Unfortunately also, when the grown ups decide to listen to the child instead of the prescription on the bottle, the child ends up throwing up repeatedly till one of us, mean cruel parents returns.

What did however work was
a. oils- We did the whole gamut. I do the whole Young Living thing and threw everything at their bellies and constitution. While it didn't stop the virulence of the bug, it made them feel more comfortable and purified the air in the house. For Jordan, who had cramps that approximated labour pains, we piggy backed both the Young Living oils with the traditional Chinese Ru-Yi oil that they used as babies.

b. the hot water bottle- Cramping in small children apparently cannot be helped by adult type anti-spasmodics. So the only way to get past the cramps is to, like childbirth, let it pass. Easier said than done but the traditional hot water bottle did help quite a bit. Our kettle has been somewhat over-taxed.

c. the onion omelette- About the weirdest thing I've ever done. Once again, a throwback to baby days, this time to the early baby days when our beloved confinement nanny was with us. 8 years ago, the twins had horrific colic and our nanny chopped up shallots, dry fried them, beat an egg and poured it over the onions to fry. When cooled, she placed a muslin cloth over the baby's belly and placed the egg over it with another piece of muslin wrapped over it. Very bizarre to have an infant smell like something out of a nasi lemak dish. Half an hour later, all the excessive gas in the baby would come trumpeting out. Because we couldn't do much for Jordan's cramping, Packrat suggested we tried that. We did, despite her protests and an hour later, she was happily watching television.

d. feed the child whatever he or she can keep down- We ended up feeding JED Milo cereal balls, frozen juice lollies, copious amounts of Ribena and toast with sugar and Milo powder on it. Eventually, there would be a breakthrough and they eat something resembling a meal and we know we're in the clear. Till then, it truly was a matter of throwing high calorie, low irritant foods at them and praying that they pick up some of them.

We're hoping that the worst is over because I'm truly truly exhausted and would love a sleep holiday with a gorgeous pillow top mattress and lush sheets but I don't think that's on the cards at this point. So, I'm thankful for little things like the fact that it's a long weekend and that the house no longer smells of vomit and poop.

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Surviving the Vacation

There is always a sense after a family vacation that we, the parents, actually need a vacation of our own to recover from the previous one. Thankfully, we've gotten more seasoned at travelling with JED and JED have become older, so it is a little bit easier. There is less of a compulsion to drop them off at an orphanage and jet off to the Maldives.

But we also do try to make it a point to make it easier on ourselves.

1. We rent self-service apartments or houses.
This meant we didn't have to bring enough clothes to last the duration of our vacation. Travelling light becomes important especially when flights land at odd hours and we have to wrestle sleeping children as well as luggage and car seats [thankfully, that (car seats) should stop being a problem soon!]

It also meant we were able to cook and not need to subject ourselves to ridiculously priced restaurant food. Plus the nutrition conscious nut in me felt better knowing what JED actually put away into their bodies. People find this troublesome and it could be. But it's was much cheaper, we didn't have to wrestle with cranky children back into the car and we didn't have to worry about them making a scene in a public place; all of which could have been even more stress inducing.

 

2. Not be ambitious.

We did not pack our itinerary at all. It was a ' one thing a day' type of vacation. If we were going to the beach, we would just go to the beach. The Kids being kids took a long time to move and there was always toileting, feeding and stopping for no reason to be done. Plus the kids got tired after a bit. Cranky kids meant difficult kids. So in the words of our travelling partners, where ever we went, however far we intended to travel, we would to take into consideration time back and most of the time, that meant the 'exercise cut' (using an NS term) time was usually about 3 pm so that we could get back in time to start dinner, get the kids bathed and ready for bed without too much hysterics. 

3. Keeping them occupied. 

By this, I don't mean gadgets though it did get inevitable at times. A 5 hour flight with no in flight entertainment meant pulling out entertainment stops of our own. By the 5th hour, I wanted to just sit and read a bit so we gave them the gadgets for the landing. This was also to distract them from the ear popping pressure of descent. 

Anyway, we used some of the luggage space we saved from bringing clothes to bring all sorts of distractions. Games, play dough, books, puzzles and Jordan's rainbow loom set. We set writing tasks for the twins to do in the mornings before the day started. So they would sit down and write about their day before and what they wanted to do in the day to come. By the middle of the vacation, they were used to doing that and that would be the time I would use to get breakfast for them ready.

The rest of the time, they just mucked about with each other and came up with their own games. So even though I had to be up when they were up, I could pretty much sit and read my book while they "parted the Red Sea" and kicked an odd shaped ball (a footie ball) around in the garden at the back.

4. Make them accountable for one another.
It wasn't just about making the older two look after Muffin. It was about everyone looking after everyone else. When they crossed the road, they had to be holding onto someone else's hand. If they ran off, they had to look back to see where everyone else was. If someone fell, they had to help pick the child up and someone needed to come and tell us. That meant, everyone had to keep an eye out on everyone else. Even Muffin knew to look out for his siblings and his friends and they were often a gaggle of wandering children, the operative term here being 'gaggle'. While not fool-proof, it meant that we didn't have to worry as much about where everyone was at any given time, even if we were in a supermarket.

 

5. Find the playgrounds.

At this age, the favourite things for JED to do were to go to the beach or the playground. So we found playgrounds for them. If in Perth and you are headed south, head to Donnybrook, the apple capital of Western Australia. It's home to the Donnybrook Apple Fun Park, the biggest free playground in Australia. All the kids loved it and we went back 3 days in a row and they never tired of it. Because we were on vacation and regular Aussie school terms were still in session, the playgrounds were empty. They had the run of the place and keeping an eye out for them was relatively easy.

I would have lain in the sun and taken a nap if I wasn't so fascinated by how much fun they were having and what they were doing on the apparatus. 

And even when we didn't feel like driving to the Fun Park, we were flanked by parks and playgrounds all over. So every day, all the kids went to a new playground. They relished the wood chip playgrounds and the open fields where they could tumble and roll around. 

By the end of it, they were wind-blown, hungry and ready to call it a day. For most days, this was how our days would end. 

No real big secrets but just the little things that made it a little bit easier for the kids and by extension us. It was by no means peaceful and it didn't mean that I didn't lose my cool with them or yell at them. But it did mean that the flashes of annoyances passed more quickly and there weren't periods of extreme and extended stress. And that meant, relatively speaking, we managed to have quite a bit of fun as well. 

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BFFs

The idea of friends only occurred to the twins when they were in K2, where they started to become independent of one another. Their friends and interests diverged round about that time and slowly, they had their own little group of friends. Even then, their primary playmates were still each other.

This isn't really the case for Muffin. The twins are Muffin's playmates the way siblings are but he isn't always in sync with them. First of all, there's an age gap. Secondly, they didn't share a womb.

So, sometimes he feels slighted and left out. Perhaps, because of that, he is more forthcoming about being friends with other little kids.

He talks about his little friends in class more than the twins did at his age and he is more keen to play with them than they were.

His favourite friend right now is Jack.

Jack's mom and I are friends from college days so we are have often hung out with the kids around us. But it has been only the younger two that have got on like a bush on fire. They talk about one another and pester us, the moms, to organise play dates for them. They even arrange their own dates between themselves.

They play with each other, they egg each other on and they laugh at each other's lame jokes. They even try and help each get out of sticky situations even if it would have meant one falling into the pond.

They even make up games with one another.

Inadvertently, they fight and the ultimate warning of "you're not my friend anymore!" gets issued; a much more grammatically accurate version of what it was during our time in school with the abbreviated but very powerful "Don't friend you ready!"

But even with that, they are still asking for play dates and Muffin constantly talks about the things he and Jack did. Jack's first words the morning after the play date was to ask when Muffin was going over again. Obviously, there were no hard feelings.

Watching little people is always amusing. Watching them negotiate the social world and figuring out what works and what doesn't is even more amusing. Muffin declares Jack his 'best friend' right now.

For the moms, we are pleased because it gives us more reason to hang out and since they can keep each other occupied, even better. 

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Mom's homework woes

Since the twins started P1,the most common question I am asked, by parents who have primary school going children, is how do I cope with homework from two different schools for the same level. This is especially so because they are in Primary 1 and the concept of independent homework has yet to be mastered.

So to say the least, two different sets of spelling in English and Chinese and different paces at Math and various different pieces of oral work have left me extremely confused and frazzled regardless of my efforts to keep everything organised.

But there are little things that help me give up, retain some sanity and have some lunch while making sure they get homework done.

1. Show me the work
Rather than dig through their bags for homework, I make them dig through their own bags and pull out everything they need me to look at, sign as well as homework. It doesn't really save a lot of time but at least they come to me rather than my going to them. That way, I can be having lunch and barking at them to bring out their stuff. By the time I am done with lunch, they would have finally gotten everything out onto the table. Yes, it takes them that long, in between chatting, running off because something caught their eye or a bird flying by.

2. Combine the spelling lists

Cruel but convenient and I'm sure all the tiger moms out there would approve. Evan has 10 spelling words, Jordan has 8, so for the week, they get to learn 18 words. They haven't caught onto it yet but I'm sure when they have, I can't do this anymore!

3. Level the playing field

The homework isn't consistent. As a rule, Jordan seems to have more than Evan does. So to prevent the complaining, Evan gets to do Mommy's homework while Jordan gets through her stuff. I try to work on Evan's Chinese while purposely ignoring Jordan while she does her work. This is in the hope that she will slowly learn to read instructions on her own and work out what she has to do without my sitting beside her. Eventually, I hope to graduate to not being there during homework time though I would want my presence to still be felt!

4. Make it fun

We have taken to making spelling fun by deliberating telling them to make the most ridiculous of sentences or stringing all the spelling words together into ridiculous sentences and having them write it down. Purists would probably burn us at the stake because we are totally ignoring semantics here. Anyway, it gets them chuckling and raring to hear the next ridiculous thing that has been made up.

The truth is, for the life of me, I cannot remember how I learnt how to spell; possibly why I spell so badly as an adult. But I know for a fact that writing it down a million of times is not just boring and may not be the most effective way of getting them to remember the words.

Both of them love using different mediums to learn it. Physical letters, writing it on our glass door, using chalk, sticks, paint and playing word games. Occasionally, I get the opportunity to do something fun that totally appeals to them. Jordan had to learn how to spell her shapes. Muffin has a set of shape stencils. So, I told her that after she did the boring write-the-word a couple of times thing so that she could draw out the shapes and label the shapes (not using the word 'spell' in my later instructions). She loved it and insisted on cutting each one out and then use them to teach Muffin.


5. Playing Teacher

I think because children are exposed to teachers so much of their day, they inadvertently want to be teachers. I suspect it has got to do with the fact that their teacher wields ultimate power and subconsciously, they all want the same thing.

I let them take over the testing of each other. They are way more Nazi than I am with their 'student' not a lot of time in between words and great mocking and teasing ensues when mistakes are made. But they take it in their stride, revel in getting their own back when it is their turn to be teacher and all the while, not just having to learn their own set of words but their student's set because Mommy doesn't allow the spelling list to be used during the marking.

These don't solve my problems but they make things slightly easier or slightly more entertaining and easier to bear. I never thought I would dread homework more than I did when I was in school, but we discover new things about ourselves everyday!

 

    

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Mom the Reluctant House Help

This is the second time our helper has been out of action. And this time it's worse because she's been hospitalised with a mysterious localised pain under her right rib cage. That has meant, prior to the hospitalisation, she was already out of action and now, she isn't around.

That translates into Mommy springing into action and becoming all around house help, teacher, chauffeur, cook and logistics officer.

Even though we've had practice with it before, it's worse because it's term time and it's crunch time for Packrat and I.

The days are 5 am days to make sure that everything and everyone is ready so that I can leave immediately for work when they go off to school. It's also meant that I've had to figure out who can be home to get Muffin off the bus if I can't do it.

And the only reasons I haven't really reduced into a puddle and shoved my head into the ground ostrich-like style are

1. The twins are older.
They respond to instruction. And if that fails, they respond to threats. They also know that Mommy is really not in the mood to be pissed off. So the only one that actually does the pissing off is Muffin. And he's learnt also to do as instructed because Mommy's not very merciful when stressed. The twins have been helpful picking up laundry, making beds, making breakfast and keeping toys.They also try to get Muffin to help on my behalf, usually ending in him in tears because he doesn't take kindly to being told by them what to do.

2. The village around me that chips in to help.
There is great benefit living near the parentals. The grandparents let us drop them off so that we can run errands or see said helper in hospital. For the week, dinner is at their house so that it is one less thing I have to worry about. Our neighbour who is happy to help us pick up the kids from the school bus and keep them with her if necessary. She pops down to help me in the mornings just so that we can get everyone out of the house in time. That means that the number of times I have needed to channel the F1 driver has been reduced. Could. Not. Be. More. Thankful.

3. Thank goodness for frozen reserves.
I love leaving myself surprises. The last time we made salmon potato patties, we froze an entire batch. That meant that all that is necessary to do is to stick the patties into the grill and Evan would have a filling tea after school.

4. Let some things slide.
The house isn't immaculate. The twins do not do as much work as they usually would. What I did was to actually keep them all in one room this morning and tell them to play with the door shut. That way, the mess gets limited and they cannot shirk the responsibility of the mess because all 3 are in there and all 3 are party to the mess. That gave me time to finish cleaning up after breakfast. By the time I was done, they were sweaty and more than ready for a bath. That worked out. Bed times have also become slightly later because it has had to take into account us coming home from the grandparents' from dinner and my needing to unpack and wash up their day's rubbish.

5. Give ample time for everything.
I have been up at 5 every morning to get the kids ready. Rather than rush, forget things and be shorter-tempered, I wake up earlier, put on some music in the kitchen and start doing the necessary. By the time they are up at 7, most things are done and I actually have little pockets of time to cuddle them, accede to ridiculous requests like replacement batteries for remote control cars (Evan), look for his lion hat (Muffin), look for her colour pencils because she HAS to have the right colours for the dolphin she is colouring (Jordan).


6. Most importantly, an extremely supportive and helpful Packrat.
Exhausted from my day that began at 5 am and had not stopped and being faced with overflowing baskets of dirty laundry, I am torn between the need to sleep (my eyes closed over dinner) and the need to see empty laundry baskets (that is one thing I can't let slide. There is smell associated with it!). Packrat, equally exhausted gallantly steps in and volunteers to wait till the laundry is done to hang it up before heading to bed. That way, all I needed to do was to dump everything into the machine, climb into bed and lose consciousness in ten seconds. I know he went to bed quite late as a result and and I am thankful for him doing that and watching JED while I was at work on Saturday. It couldn't have been easy for him because when I came home, he had the stressed out look of someone who was alone with 3 kids under 7 who weren't particularly cooperative.

I know my brother would say it builds character. And part of me enjoys having the house and JED to ourselves but the other part of me is exhausted and crying out for some reprieve and possibly a vacation that comes with "all you can go for" spas.

Till then, I shall just keep repeating "this too shall end."

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Something old to something new

We have 3 playgrounds near where we live. JED have visited them so many times that they are bored of them and bug us to take them to new play spaces.

But on Thursday when it rained as if the gods were crying and the whales starting beaching at NUS, there was little for them to do to in the house except to drive us all insane. I decided to take them to the playground in the rain.

That was the one guaranteed to make sure that the old folk that sit at the void deck spaces tsk and hiss at me disapprovingly. Didn't I know that allowing them to play in the rain was a sure way to have them catch a bad cold?

In such a situation, it is always good to not be able to speak very much dialect. Then all that can be done is to smile and shrug your shoulders and walk on, guaranteeing that the whole block will know how bad a mom you are but at the same time also ensuring that JED get to do something they don't often get a chance to do.

Part of the fun for them was outfitting them; raincoats, wellies and even umbrellas.

There was more tsk-ing and hissing when the aforementioned folk realised that I had put Muffin in Jordan's old rain gear; a green rain coat with pink lining and pink wellies.

But just adding that extra novelty made it a whole lot more exciting with lots more squeals and chuckling. Swings, swinging on their bellies, climbing up and down slippery rock walls much to my terror. I feared that with every time that Muffin lost his step, he would slip, fall and break his teeth at the very least. But every time he slipped, it elicited a nervous chuckle and tried it again.

The ground was wet. The air was cool. And an added advantage There was also the added advantage of the playgrounds being empty on account of the rain. 

Evan was so happy he was both singing and dancing in the rain. He has the sodden, swimming pools in his boots to prove it. 

All this plus the long and hot bubble bath in their bath tubs meant that it took up the entire afternoon and by the time they were done, they were ready for dinner and very quickly ready for bed. 

It meant that I could shower myself, do my last minute packing and get them all to sleep before I had to head off to the airport.

So, if you are okay for your kids to play in the rain, rain doesn't mean they can't play outside. Unless there's lightning of course. I may be nuts but not that nuts.

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I cannot be a mom if...

Occasionally, my schedule doesn't allow me to be at home all the time and sometimes requiring me to fly out of the house just as JED come home. At times like that, I  have to live on stolen moments with them. For the most part, I see them to the point that I want to dump them, take a book, head over to Starbucks and sit there, uninterrupted for an hour. 

But when it's crunch time, it's a totally different story. And I realised that no matter how busy and how much I'm in and out of the house, there are certain things that help me feel that I'm not ignoring or neglecting JED. In my mind, I know I am not. It's just that occasionally, my heart takes a bit more convincing. And if I can do the following, I'm good to go and last a day without seeing them. 

For Jordan, I can't be a mom if I can't tie up her hair. I don't know what it is, but with her, it's her hair. I have to find time to do it. And the more intricate I can do up her hair, the happier I am. I suspect that's a remnant of those by gone Barbie playing days. 

For Evan, I can't be a mom if I can't hang out with him and help him do things he otherwise worries he cannot do. Hang on the monkey bars, wheelbarrow walk around the house or handstands against the wall.

For Muffin, I can't be a mom if I can't take him out on my own at least once a week and just see the world through his eyes. It doesn't have to be a long outing. Half an hour at the park where he tosses bread at the fish, chases the birds or picks up leaves and seeds suffice.

And I can't be a mom if I have to go without seeing their ridiculously loopy grins or hear their chuckly ticklish laughter. It has gotten to the point that if I need to go out and I haven't had enough time with them, I descend upon them to tickle them. That always does the trick and I can always leave after that with a heart that feels slightly lighter.

Hooking up with...
 

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Foodie Friday: Sausage monster

There was this picture that was making its rounds on Facebook, where you stuck raw pasta noodles into cut sausages and you boiled them and there you had it! A meal that the kid would eat. It looked like a whole lot of fun.

There was just one problem.

I am averse to feeding JED processed food, as much as I can help it. So I couldn't in good conscience give them this even though they would polish it up and ask for seconds. But then, I really wanted to do this with them.

I am in the midst of what I call my nightmare 14 day work week. I have to teach for 14 days without a break. It is crazy ridiculous, downright exhausting and I miss JED and JED miss Mommy being home in the evenings. That made me want to do this with them even more.

So I went out to hunt for sausages I would approve of. NTUC would not have anything unless it was a Finest. We have one Cold Storage nearby and I prayed that they had a better variety for me to choose from. Packrat later informed me that I could have gone to the gourmet butcher across the road. It.Did.Not.Occur.To.Me. Noted for the next round of these guys.

Anyway, there wasn't a lot of choice.

Things I realised, trying to find 'kosher' sausages.
1. What I realised was that not only did most sausages have loads of nitrates, most have monosodium glutamate. The stuff that makes you thirsty and rumoured to make your hair fall out. Present in most Asian food. I had no idea that made in the USA sausages had them too.

2. Sausages that didn't have any of those things quadrupled in price.

3. I really wouldn't know if there was horsemeat in any of the sausages I bought. 

What I eventually ended up with were sausages that cost $10 for 4 that were raw, pure pork meat, no filler, low sodium, gluten free sausages. On the ingredient list, it listed 'lean pork, white pepper, black pepper, salt' and I can't remember what else but nothing with numbers and nothing that wasn't already present in my kitchen. Unfortunately, our helper ripped the sausages out of the packaging before I had an opportunity to take a photograph of it.

I would have loved to use wholemeal spaghetti but Muffin can't swallow the stuff so the regular spaghetti had to do.

JED had a great time stealing cooked sausage slices as they impaled the spaghetti into the sausages. A word of warning, the noodles break off so it would be wise to teach the kids to be gentle yet firm with the noodle. (What an  allegory for bringing up kids!) Evan, whose fine motor skills resemble that of an elephant trying to do embroidery broke a whole bunch of noodles but had a lot of fun chucking them into the pot to boil. 

The result looked like something we could do for Halloween. In fact, with a bit of tomato sauce and a lot of imagination, it would be great Halloween food. Muffin and Evan called them Sausage Monsters and Jordan called hers Sausage Jellyfish. Whatever it was, they wiped the plate clean. I kept some for them to eat cold the next day in school as a snack. They wanted to know why there were so few in their snack box.

Being the crazy food mom, their eventual dinner comprised of this topped off with a lot of carrot and spaghetti with home made baked fish nuggets on the side. No pictures unfortunately because JED inhaled the food too quickly for me to move.

We're toying with other derivatives of this.

Meatball Monsters
1. Boil the pasta first
2. Make meat balls, press in the cooked pasta
3. Pan fry them.

Bleeding Sausage Monsters
1. Same thing
2. Pasta sauce with vegetables cooked in.

Bleeding Brains.
1. Pan fried meat balls with pasta (assuming our Meat ball monsters work out)
2. Douse meat balls in pasta sauce and they'll be dripping blood! (sauce)

The kids are into zombies and monsters now, hence the gross food names!

We had fun. I think it justified my $10 sausages and seeing it fed all 3, it didn't come up to all that much. As long as I don't have to do this every day.

And since it's Friday and Dinomama has a foodie Friday, I'm linking to it!



Technorati Tags: JED, Healthy Eating, Kids Food

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Giveaway- Trying to be a fit mama

I sit here writing this at the end of an extremely long weekend filled with melt-in-your-mouth pineapple tarts and chock-a-block full of egg yolk and butter kueh lapis among all the other evils. I managed to run once before the gorging began and once yesterday, on the 2nd day of the lunar new year, in an attempt to make myself feel better about the tarts, the cakes and the fried shrimp rolls.

But the running was just to hold it at bay; till Friday.

Friday is my day of pain.

That's because, on Fridays, after JED go up the bus, I break the sound barrier in a bid to get down to my Xtend Barre class at Sky Pilates at Liat Towers. Xtend Barre is a ballet-inspired Pilates class. So for about an hour, I pretend to be all ballerina again, just for that little while. It doesn't take much to fake the ballet in an Xtend Barre class because only the basics are required. Pointing the toes, bending the knees outwards, holding up the arm in position and that's where the similarity ends.

On my first class, Karrie (inflictor of torture, instructor and all around friend) warned that there is very little in Xtend Barre which is going to be balletic. It is afterall, to get the heart rate pumping. Plus it is a very big challenge to look balletic and graceful when the muscles are burning and screaming from the puny 1kg weights that Karrie gives us. Woe is us for we initially sniff at the weights because we think 1kg weights are child's play.

I am no longer as fit as I was pre-kids. So this class is a bit of a challenge. The poker face I learnt to put on from the hours of pointe training and long interval training on the track occasionally cracks and I grimace and roll my eyes at inflicting myself with this. My inner core muscles that used to be rock hard, in times of exhaustion now tremble and forget how to pull up my knees to my chest. But with my new year's resolution to attend the Xtend Barre more regularly, it's slowly regaining its memory and not letting me down so much. These core muscles are called core muscles for a reason. They are the reason we can stand straight and are connected to all those important things we take for granted like posture and a painless back.

By the end of class, my legs are jellified and I know that if I sneeze wrong, I will remain in that contorted position till the following Monday. But at the same time, my headache (which I get from sleeping in the contorted positions that the little interloper Muffin dictates) has gone away away. My legs feel a little bit toner, my jeans fit a little bit better and I walk a little bit taller.

It also does wonders for my post-natal belly (which still exists 3 years on) and Karrie knows exactly what exercises to give me and reminds me that the post natal me cannot do crunches while the pre-natal me used to self-inflict 1000 crunches a day on those muscles (there is this nasty thing I have called rectus diastasis; it's got little to do with the bum and a lot to do with the abdominal walls splitting thanks to pregnancy).  So while the rest of the class huffs and puffs their way through crunches, she sets me something that is a derivative of it; that still works my abs, works at healing the diastasis rather than exacerbating it and slowly flattens out the Mommy belly; all the while checking with me to make sure that I feel okay doing it. But no, she doesn't make me do it 1000 times.

That's the one thing that I've liked best about classes at Sky where I started going in 2007 when I was first pregnant with the twins; the instructors are not just instructors, they take it upon themselves to know and remember what I can and cannot do and eventually became my friends.  When I posted about any of JED being unwell, Karrie asked after them. I also fondly remember being in a cat pose in pre-natal class and Teresa (who owns the studio and runs some of the classes) came round to adjust me and pat my belly singing "Hello babies!". It made me feel warm, taken care of and loved. While they slave drive us during that hour in the studio, we chat, exchange gossip and do Starbucks after, like girlfriends do.

So, I look forward to Fridays because I get a bit of a workout, I chat a bit with people there and wave hi to others and when I step out, there is a spring in my step (that could be a good or a bad thing) and the world out there is brighter!

-- Giveaway time! --

Because Sky Pilates knows how important it is for moms, moms-to-be and non-moms to keep their core muscles strong, they are offering 2 readers a chance to try out their classes (one winner will get a free private session and the other a free group session; both of which are great!). To take part, simply

1. Like the Sky Pilates FB page.

2. Open up the  Sky Pilates menu on another tab and have a look at the classes they offer. Leave a comment here stating which class you think might benefit you the most! Don't forget to leave your email address so that we can get in touch with you.

3. Share this blog post on your FB page and tag Sky Pilates.

* Contest is open to those who are not already members of Sky Pilates. 

Closing date 22 February 2013.

 Technorati Tags: Sky Pilates, Singapore, motherhood, Fitness

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Friday Night Freedom

With three children spaced 2 1/2 years apart, saying that parenting is challenging is an understatement. It's worse when it is coupled with a Super Type A A personality so I am often exhausted by JED's shenanigans and so wound up it doesn't benefit anyone. Often, I need some breathing space to regain my centre. As I once blogged about,  I am much less inclined to fob them off as much as I used to want to when they were little. The irony of the situation is that since I've stopped full time teaching and have availed myself to them when they are not in school, I feel it more difficult to tear myself away despite being a lot more exhausted and frustrated at times. Thankfully, I have a wise voice in my head.

That voice isn't mine. When it comes to JED, I am hardly rational (Now, I just sound like a neurotic mom!) Packrat remains the rational voice when it comes to parenting and he openly encourages me to let other people take JED off my hands once in a while.

So, we've got a little bit of tradition in place. Every Friday, JED go swimming. Some time along the way, the twins basically suckered their grandparents into letting them stay over after swimming. These are Packrat's parents whom the twins are super close to. Now while I feel that it is an imposition and I shouldn't allow them to stay over on a regular basis, I also know it is a good thing. Packrat reiterates that, reminding me also that this way, we kill many birds with one stone.

1. The twins get to spend time with their grandparents, which to both Packrat and I, is an important relationship they need to establish and cherish.
2. Muffin gets undivided attention from both Packrat and I. Something he has to fight for when his siblings are around.
3. I get to sleep a little bit more because I only get disturbed by one child through the night.
4. The twins learn to be independent from us and get used to sleeping away from home ( I remember a cousin who stayed over as a child and had my parents send her back in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep).
5. The twins get a little bit of breathing space away from Mommy and her strict rules.
6. Packrat gets a wife who is a little bit more relaxed for the night. 

Like I say, it's a difficult thing for a mum to do; to let go. But it's good for everyone and all it takes from me is to let go and go easy a little bit. It's easier said than done but every Friday, I try and every Friday it gets easier, especially on Saturday mornings when we pick them up and the twins are excited, happier and more importantly none the worse for wear.

The message it sends out to them, according to Packrat when he tries to rationalise it with me, is that 1. Their grandparents are important.
2. They can survive quite well without Mommy and Papa.
3. They need to learn to fend for themselves without us aforementioned parents.
4. Their parents' relationship and marriage is as important as they are to their parents.

I am linking this to Simply Mommie's Tips for Mom Series because if anyone asked what was the biggest survival tip I could share, it would be this. What has helped me survive being a parent to twins and a fierce, younger Muffin is to find time to step away. I know that not all mums have that luxury but where ever and whenever there is some opportunity to let go, sometimes, there is wisdom in doing so.

Technorati Tags: twins, Tips for Moms

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