Up Close and Personal with animals

Once again, we are back from a long vacation. Unlike the previous one which was all about theme parks and everything artificial, spending 3 weeks in Australia and New Zealand meant the direct opposite. It was all about nature, animals and fresh air. All excellent things for the city slicker kids we have.

Since the twins are old enough, they are guesting on the blog and writing about the animals from their perspective.

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Our first encounter with nature was in Blue Mountains, an extremely beautiful place with nature everywhere.
We even heard a baby goat bleating in the distance! It was actually the neighbour's pet goat. A pet goat is called a kid. They named it Juicy. That wasn't funny. And things actually got more exciting from there.

On the first night of our stay, a possum broke into the house. We didn't know how she got in, but we have a theory that she might have come through the chimney and into the fire place. Ho Ho Ho! Very Santa Claus of her! The men then tried to lure the possum out of the house with a banana. Unfortunately, my uncle and my dad spooked the possum and it ran into my brothers' room. Eventually, they laid a trail of cereal puffs out the door to lure the possum out and it worked. We were all relieved that the possum finally got out of the house! Our parents nicknamed the possum Gretel!

The next day was my favorite day. We went horse riding! I immediately fell in love with the horses. They are such beautiful, strong creatures. On the first two rounds in the bush, I had this small but strong horse called Effie. She had a white streak down her snout, and I immediately liked her. She was stubborn, like me, and had a short temper, like me. She was always  irritated with other horses. We were a perfect match!

The most exciting part was when my grandpa's horse knocked into Effie, and that immediately set her off. She whinnied and actually galloped off. We weren't supposed to gallop, but she was out of  control. For a moment, I enjoyed it as she galloped, but she suddenly stopped and bucked. Now, that was scary! I could barely hang on. At that moment, my hands instinctively pulled the reins, hard, saving me from falling off. I was so shaken, and had trouble stifling a scream. When we got back to the stables, I was so relieved and my legs were jellified!

One thing I learnt was that horses are unpredictable! My cousin's horse also ran way, but at least the horse didn't buck her off TWICE. The second I almost got bucked me off,was actually on her horse. We switched horses for the last ride and that was such a mistake. Her horse's name called Gunner. I was nervous about Gunner for two reasons:
1. he was much bigger than Effie, so I felt unstable.
2. I was afraid that Gunner would try to buck me off, and being bigger and stronger than stronger than Effie, there would be a 75% chance that I would fall off if he tried to buck me off. Miraculously, I could hold on!

Even with all the scares, it was one of the best days of my life, getting to be with these beautiful creatures.

The rest of this is going to be written by Evan.
During our voyage on the Ovation of the seas we stopped at some islands in New Zealand including Wellington and Picton, and we had various close encounters with sea creatures, including starfish, fish, rays and even a penguin! We couldn't capture the penguin or ray on the camera, though.

 My favourites were the penguin and the ducks who were all over the place. Occasionally, we saw a goose. But the geese we saw looked like they were going to bully the ducks. Not cool.

I have seen sea stars at the aquariums but I have not seen any in the wild. Or maybe I have, in Hawaii but never so big. These were clinging on to the rocks in the pier at Picton. It was also where we saw the rays and the penguin. The water was so clear and the rays looked so lazy gliding in the water.

Ray fishing is banned by law. We were told this by some boys who were fishing on the pier. They also told us that if a fish was smaller than 30 cm, they had to release it again. They caught a small fish and wanted to do that but the hook was inside the fish's belly! Jordan tried to help and then the fish fell between the rocks. I don't know if it managed to swim away. Jordan said her hands smelt funny after that. Obviously! They smelt of fish!

                                                  

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That's that. I'll do another one on the cruise next. We'll see if the twins try to hijack that one too.

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To the parent of a first time camper

Dear Parent of child going off to camp for the first time,

I recently went through the first of my children going to camp. It was a somewhat surreal experience that I feel I ought to share. In a grand scheme of things, it is in preparation for the mother of all camps, 8 years from now for my eldest boy child.

We knew that it was coming but we didn't think it would be all that bad. After all, she has had sleepovers before.

But everyone did miss her and everyone felt her absence. She's home now though and we're back to regular programming.

There was a sobby (I am assured they were tears of joy) reunion but all is good in my world now and I can now objectively think back to the last three days.

So here's what I've learnt.

1. You will want your child to call home. Don't.
Packrat went to the briefing and reported that teachers were inundated with questions about whether their children could bring air-mattresses, sleeping bags, portable diffusers. They faced disgruntled parents when they informed them that the children would not have access to their mobile phones and that no, they could not queue up to use the coin phone either.

This caused much distress and I think this was where the camp experience differed from a sleepover. A sleepover would have involved the constant exchange between the parents on what funny things the kids were up to and this sometimes included photographs and videos. This time however, there was a complete cut off from our children.

But, now that she's home and she's told me what went on at camp, I think the teachers were indeed wise. After all, they have done this year in, year out.

She told me that she went to the sick bay on the first day. It was a bad headache, despite drinking gallons of water. And she stayed there for 3 hours, napping before she felt better and more human. It was at that point, that I realised that, had she been able to call home or get in touch with me, she would have told me about being in the sick bay, possibly been weepy about it and I would have immediately asked if she needed to come home. There would have been a possibility that she would have said yes and then, the camp would have been a slightly extended version of a day camp.

Because I didn't know, because she had no idea that coming home would have been an option, she got  over herself and her headache and went back out to play.

So, the radio silence was great. It prevented homesick children from indulging in their homesickness and anxious parents from finding reasons to bring said child home early. I suppose if she really were unwell, they would have called me. And headaches, in their book, weren't serious enough to warrant a potentially heart dropping phone call for me to receive.

2. You will want to spy on your child. (See Above)

With 240 ten year olds away from their parents for the first time, there were bound to be anxious parents. And because Singapore is small enough and the camp location was made known to the parents, some showed up, testing their prowess at stealth hunting and paparazzi level stalking. There were also parents who worried that their children needed creature comforts and attempted to show up under the guise of delivering them or simply delivering pizza. Whatever was necessary to gain access to the child. 

I asked her if she saw parents hiding in the bushes or pretending to be trees. After she finished laughing, she looked at me in all seriousness and asked if I had been one of those nosy parents. I said no. She said good. I asked her why. She said it would have been an interference on the part of the parents. She said it would have been embarrassing (She tried to soften the blow by saying she would have been happy to see me but even then...). And she said it was only for 3 days and if she could miss me and didn't beg her teachers to send her home and didn't run away from camp to come find me, I didn't need to stalk and spy on them. 

Basically, she was telling me, in her 10 year old way that she needed this space to grow up. 

Wise one, my first born. 

3. You will underestimate your child. (Ditto the previous point)

Admittedly, I worried. I worried that she wouldn't be able to sleep in a sleeping bag. When I found out that someone snuck in a pillow (I didn't even think of getting her to pack beyond her packing list), I found myself wondering if she could sleep without a pillow. I found many other little things to wonder and worry about. Above all, I worried that she would not have a good time and she would be miserable.

Much as I hate to admit it, Packrat and the teachers were right. She had been fine and she came home brimming with excitement of all her achievements. She told me she abseiled down 7 storeys. She told me that she rolled her jacket into bundle and used it as a pillow. She slept like a baby. She, whose extent of cooking at home was to make a grilled cheese sandwich, was able to cook up her own meals on an open flame. She managed to also successfully put drops into her eyes like we taught her to at home. 

In short, not only did she survive camp, she thrived. 

So, my advice? Cede control, trust the school and child. 

And you'll get all the good bits. You'll get to hear the stories through triumphant rose-tinted glasses, you get to stand anxiously at the school gates waiting for that first glimpse of her and you get to get all the air squeezed out of you when she throws her arms around you and gives you a hug big enough to make up for all the time she was away.

I promise you. It'll be hard to do all these things. But it'll be worth it.

From a parent who survived her child being away at camp.

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Visiting Melbourne: Through JED's eyes

As promised, this post is Melbourne through the eyes of JED. Or it could be titled "What to do with Melbourne with children" because this post is about what JED loved about Melbourne.

I shall state from the outset that the twins are very infatuated with Melbourne. Jordan is ready to move there. Forever. She wants to go to school there and go like now, now now.

To JED, Melbourne was about 7 things.

1. The cold weather

This was the most important. That is, once they got used to it. Muffin was the one that took the longest to relish it. It went in order of the amount of insulation they had in their bodies. And Muffin doesn't have any, at all.

But once they climatised, they ran around with jackets and even ventured as far as going to the beach twice. Something I wouldn't have even considered no matter how mild the winter was.

2. The animals. 

JED love animals. But as with most urban kids, they are scared of them. So it was funny when Evan wanted to feed ducks (his favourite animal in the world) and run away when the ducks approached him for more. It was similar with the guinea pigs that they could play with at the petting zoo. Evan wanted to have the guinea pig but was squealing about it being ticklish because of its claws. I liked the Open Range safari type animals more than the local Aussie ones and while I understood that it made sense for the joey to be head in in the pouch, I was grossed out by the fact that there were a pair of legs sticking out of Mama-Kanga's belly. No one got why I was grossed out so I was left alone to make faces.

3. The playgrounds

With the benefit of space, the playgrounds around Melbourne were awesome. And I don't mean it in the tween way, I mean it in the "jaw dropping, covet and want to steal it back to Singapore, talk about it all the time" way. 

Every day, we explored a new playground and every evening, there would be the request of going back to the same playground the next day. Because it was just that much fun. It didn't matter that they spent good long stretches of time at the playground, it was never enough. 

Even the adults were hard-pressed to  vote on which was the best playground. 

a. Parkville

Packrat and I loved Parkville because it was behind our old uni and where he lived. We also loved it because it showed great sensitivity to the landscape. It was just a playground plonked into a field. The architectures built the playground into the natural landscape with slopes and trails integrated. Then there was a large hill that we could scale and the Grey's Anatomy fan in me loved the fact that from the playground or the top of the hill, you could see medical helicopters landing on the hospital rooftop across the road. 

JED loved it because it was challenging, sprawling and so open to the imagination. They played hide and seek but gradually settled to play at the dam structure, which in itself was a stroke of genius. The kids could build a network of waterways in the sand and there was an irrigation system that they could work, pump water and dam before releasing it into their waterways. Over and over again, in different permutations. 

My only concern about the playground was that it was so sprawling that you couldn't quite keep an eye on the kids all the time from one spot. But other than that, we spent 2 days and had lunch there. Even then, it was really with a heavy heart to leave. And also to know that should we ever come back, the twins would be too old to enjoy it as much. 

b. St Kilda
St Kilda's a pretty bohemian part of Melbourne and it follows that the playground there is similarly so. It looked like a junkyard with odd pieces of wood structures painted in a cacophony of colours. There was a haphazard feel to it, it was challenging in places for the kids with an adrenaline junkie's dream of a flying fox that whizzed at top speed and only stopped with a mighty clang when it hit the end and caused the kid to rebound or get thrown off into wood chips (though we didn't see any kid get thrown off!)

Similar to the Parkville playground, even though we spent 3 hours there, JED didn't cover every inch of it. They climbed a tree, discovered secret tunnels built under the playground structures and tried to run up a skateboard run which was close to impossible. The playground was run by the city council and there were crates of free fruit for the kids. With places like these where you can see so much love and care has gone into creating it, I was happy that I could put in a donation to keep the place going or to help buy the next crate of fruit.

4. Fake snow
I badly wanted to drive up to Mt Buller for some snow even if we didn't ski. But the men, who were the designated drivers refused to budge. It was too long a drive to see mounds of ice and they couldn't imagine tetchy kids all the way there and disappointed kids back. The next alternative was an ice rink near the hotel that had a fake snow slope.

The cold, together with the speed thrilled JED to bits especially because the only way to stop was to crash headlong into a thick padded wall. Muffin and Jordan were the most adept. I came down screaming while Evan internalised all his fear with a constipated look on his face. It wasn't enough to totally get the snow jollies out of the way but it did go some way into assuaging it.

5. Rowing a boat
If at any time, a child suggests that rowing a boat would be fun, heavily indoctrinated by years of singing that insipid kid song, please say no. Against our better judgement, we agreed to row a boat down the duck pond. With 5 in the boat, the weight wasn't evenly spread out and that meant I spent half the time worried we might truly capsize. And never believe the children when they promise to help row because all they do is splatter water and complain their arms hurt. So rather than rowing, we spun in circles in the general direction of the current, bouncing off both banks and miraculously spun back to where we started. By then, there was water in the boat and JED had all been splashed by algey mucky water that was filled with duck pee.

6. Autumn leaves

There is a Chinese saying about fishing that goes along the lines of "even if can't catch fish, settle for the shrimp". It sounds better in Chinese. That was the philosophy that JED approached Melbourne winter. To them, winter meant snow. We spent the better part of the year dispelling that notion so they settled for the next best thing. Leaves.

Piles of leaves, leaf tracks, just shuffling and rustling in leaves, picking at them, comparing the different shades of yellow, orange and green was interesting enough that they left the adults alone.

 

7. Friends 

There was always fun to be had where ever they were because they were 5 of them, 4 of them of similar age. There were squabbles and differences but they tried hard to work it out for themselves and figured out the best dynamics amongst them. They didn't sleep together but played together, ate together and even celebrated their birthdays together.

The adults vowed that for as far as possible, we will try to bring them away together because these are what make for good memories for them. 

My takeaway from the entire trip was that fun didn't need to be expensive at all. So, no we didn't go and see the penguins. Nor did we take the windy Great Ocean Road or the coal spitting- tear inducing choo choo train round the Dandenongs. And it really didn't matter to JED nor their friends.

Every one needs more of these sorts of holidays. It does wonders for the soul.

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Revisiting Melbourne

We've been wanting to go back to Melbourne for a very long time. We moved back to Singapore close to 15 years ago and haven't been back for 10 years. Since JED were now old enough to appreciate Melbourne as where "Mommy and Daddy met and went to school", we thought it was a good time to do it.

We didn't expect to feel as nostalgic as we did when we got there. So this post is basically Melbourne, through our eyes, as opposed to the subsequent post, which will be Melbourne, through the eyes of JED.

What we generally did was to re-trace our lives in Melbourne, right from touch down.

There was
1. Breakfast at Thresherman's. 
We didn't eat here on a daily basis because we were poor students but on the occasion or when there was family in town, we'd come here for brunch. It was a 5 minute walk from our house. I remember giant fruit salad take away bowls, hot soup in the winter and farmer's breakfasts. Incidentally, when we bought the farmer's breakfast for JED, they complained it tasted weird. When we tried it, we realised that their definition of weird was our definition of 'fresh'.
 

2. Uni of course.
Because we were at Thresherman's, we were close to uni and since we couldn't check in to our apartment, we went to uni for a walk around. That's when all the feels came flooding back.

To humour JED, we recreated a photo we took when we got engaged and we took a photo at the stop light where we first met.

But for us, it was walking around, remembering what it was like to walk through the various buildings and hallways on the way to lectures, marvelling about the things that hadn't changed and the buildings that were new, bright and shiny.

There is something about old buildings, blue skies and trees that makes the heart rate slow and the blood pressure drop a bit.

3. The old apartment

No trip down memory lane would be complete without visiting the old house. We pointed out to the twins where we would BBQ, where we kept our dog for a while, where Packrat and their Uncle's bedroom was. We told them about Barry the neighbourhood cat who would surely be dead by now though it didn't stop us from looking in the same places that he would hang out.

3. Food

I warned Packrat that when it came to food, we might be a bit disappointed because we were students on a budget then and now that we are a bit older and more discerning, it could possibly be a case of "What did I just put in my mouth?".

There was Italian at Sofia's where it was about mass rather than quantity as well as taking up the challenge of the giant gelato. Even with 9 people, we didn't manage to finish the gelato nor the food but everyone was happy and left in a blissfully stupourous state.

There was also Vietnamese many times over, steaks for our carnivorous tribe and some Chinese thrown in for familiarity sake. For Packrat and myself, souvalkis were necessary because souvalkis remind us of our first real date. Unfortunately, it was a truly a situation where the eyes were larger than the tummy because we couldn't finish the souvalkis. We forgot to take into account the difference between 20 year old's and a 40 year old's appetite.

4. Friends

No pictures here but meeting up with ex students who have lived in Melbourne for longer than I did as well as ex-classmates was on the agenda. We visited their homes, ate where they ate and did what they did. Not touristy at all. In fact, it was these meet ups where we learnt of the reality that Melbourne is actually more costly to live than Singapore, that housing, transportation and even food ($3 for a box of plain rice is daylight robbery) is as costly if not more than in Singapore. A nice reality check for the grass is always greener sentiments.

And then, for me, there was
5. Ballet.

Not specifically for me but for Jordan, to meet my old ballet teacher and to take class in my old ballet school. Time stood still in the ballet school, right down to the carpeting and the ballet studios. Even the teachers. Jordan got to meet my old teacher and take some classes with her. What she taught Jordan, watching her teach class and instilling the same discipline and etiquette I remember from all those years ago, I felt I was an undergrad and the years had melted away. But I wasn't.

10 days of re-tracing our steps and then we had to pack up and come back to reality. But while it lasted, it was good.

Some would say that the past should stay in the past. But I think that occasionally, it's a good thing to touch base with the past. It reminds us of simpler times, what it's like to slow down a little bit, not to get too caught up in the things that actually don't matter and laugh some.

 

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The One Where Evan Hits Balls

Both Evan and Jordan do sport. Actually Muffin as well though the twins spend a lot more time on it.

But their narratives could not be any different.

Evan is not a natural athlete. As a baby, the doctors worried because his head lolled to one side for the longest time. As a toddler, he would fall over a lot and bump his head repeatedly on the same spot. Even as a tennis player, he is no where as good as many of the kids in his age group.

And that makes it hard for him.

It means that he has to work doubly hard to do what comes naturally to some and sometimes, it gets very disheartening. 

It means that there are some coaches that don't like that he isn't a ready made player, who has natural ability. They would yell at him because his footwork isn't what is to be expected of a 10 year old who plays x number of days a week. These were the coaches who would make him cry in frustration.

It means that in a team, he might not be seeded very high and might not get picked to play because he might weigh the team down.

But does he try. Try very hard, he does.

He works till rivets of sweat run down his face and he can't lift his feet anymore. He's learnt to be consistent while he works on power. On the days he doesn't play, he goes running with Packrat and is attempting the jump rope.

We do our part by putting him with coaches who will affirm his effort and encourage him along. We stay away from the coaches who only see him for what he is not. That isn't helpful, to anyone.

In his first ever league tournament, he knew he wasn't seeded very high and every time he played, he tried very hard and tried to make it count. When he couldn't kill the shot, he rallied till the opponent made a mistake and he always took stock of the players he played with. He learnt very quickly to place his shots out of reach of his opponents. And in that way, he won more points and in some of the matches, ended up carrying the 'higher' seeded partner he was playing with because his parter, while stronger was more inconsistent with his shots.

The day of the finals, when he helped the team place well, was a vindication for him; against the managers who would leave him out of line ups, against the coaches who thought him crap and even, to some extent, against us, for the times that we rolled our eyes at his seemingly uncoordinated ways.

I told Evan, the one thing I truly admired about him, is the fact that he's a cool cucumber. He looks cool on court. He doesn't let the stress get to him and he just goes on placing the shots where he needs to. When we commended him on being cool, he exclaimed that he was nervous as heck. That, I told him was excellent, that he doesn't let the nerves get to him. I told him the analogy was to be duck like; gliding along the water as if nothing gazed him  but actually paddling furiously underneath, away.

Someone said to us that Evan is probably learning more because he's isn't naturally gifted and things don't come easy to him. And like pediatricians used to tell us, as long as the milestones are achieved, it isn't about who gets there first.  It'll come in good time and he really is getting there. 

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Childlike enthusiasm

The nice thing about having kids is to see the world through their eyes rather than our own cynical ones.

In the last week or so, despite the fact that the twins have been ramping up for exams, they've been very excited about things happening in school. Things that an adult would yawn and roll eyes at.

For Evan, it's an emergency preparedness exercise. He's filled with importance because it's his job to lock all the windows and draw the blinds. And we all know how important that job is especially since Mas Selamat climbed out of an unlocked one.

He also very conscientiously packed his 'lock down' bag full of supplies (enough food and water for himself and some friends, how considerate). We were all briefed. There would be a cryptic message that they'll have to listen out for, along the lines of "The chicken has flown the coop, catch it!" that begins the lock down and a similarly innocuous "All clear" signal as well. So there were muttered prayers for good weather because any sort of attack on a school would only occur when there is good weather.

Jordan, on the other hand, has been a jumping bean because she got roped into auditioning for one of Packrat's student's film project. She thinks she's going to be on TV. She asks everyday if we've heard from the student. We tell her not to get her hopes up. We tell her that she won't be on TV or famous. But she can't hear that, while bouncing around excitedly.

At the same time, there's a concert in school. Where they get to sing and play the ukelele. I'm not sure how good she is at playing it or singing for that matter but every spare moment of the day has been dedicated to strumming and singing.

I would really like to be in school to watch both events happen but short of a Big Brother camera in school, I can only wait for them to recount them to me.

I like that they get excited over these little things. And their excitement is so genuine, you can't help get infected by it. Especially when half the time, we're snippy, cynical and critical of things around us like Trump managing to fail Easter.

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A love story

This is a story about a duck and an elephant.

Duck Duck and Amelia (Ellie for short) were given to twin babies 10 Christmases ago. Duck Duck went to the boy and Ellie to the girl. Both of them loved the twins immediately and adopted them as pets. Duck Duck and Ellie were inseparable from their pets.

They went on the same dream adventures, possibly because they slept with their pets every single night and when their pets got older, they went on real adventures together.

The rule though was that if they were to sleep together with their pets, every week, they had a bath so that they would always be fresh and clean.

Duck Duck and Ellie were a source of comfort for their pets and they would always be sought out when their pets were upset or ill. Their pets would also include them in the games and Duck Duck and Ellie were happy. Duck Duck was always amused when they played Duck Duck Goose and would look suspiciously around to see if a Goose actually showed up.

As their pets got older, they included Duck Duck and Ellie in a lot more things. Both became very well-read as their pets read to them. Duck Duck's favourite books included Super Diaper Baby and the Tree House Series and Ellie was warned not to be like her name sake naughty Amelia Jane. Occasionally, they stowed away to school though that happened more with Ellie than Duck Duck.

And when their pets went on vacation, Duck Duck and Ellie got to go as well. Both of them have their own passports and thankfully, when they travelled to the United States with their pets, there wasn't any of the current nonsense about visas and aliens from other countries. Their pets would have been very distressed if they were told that Duck Duck and Ellie could not enter the country with them.

 

 

Now, the problem was that Duck Duck and Ellie were growing old and they were beginning to look their age. Their frequent baths had made their skins a lot thinner. Ellie had even gone to Build-A-Bear one day to get stuffed because she was rapidly losing weight. It had been gently suggested that Duck Duck and Ellie take residence by the side of the bed and start to take things a little bit slower; perhaps not travel as much and to cut back on rigorous activities which included bathing.

But their pets who loved them dearly were heartbroken to even think about Duck Duck and Ellie in that way. "We don't want anyone else!" they cried, sobbing their hearts out. "No one can ever replace them!" they wailed.

Both Duck Duck and Ellie have promised their pets that they'll still be around and will still love them but perhaps, as their pets grow older themselves, to perhaps just hang out at home and lead quieter lives. Their pets would have nothing to do with that though they have been noticeably a lot gentler and a lot more loving with the two seniors in their lives.

For never has there been a story of more love than this of Duck Duck, Ellie and their twin pets.

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Odyssey

There's been radio silence.

There's a reason for it. Every couple of years, we take the kids on what has become a traditional odyssey of sorts.

To date, our odysseys have been to the North American continent and this one was no different.

It was meant to herald the beginning of Muffin's primary school life. We did a similar one to Hawaii when the twins were entering primary school.

Our vacation this time was unabashedly non-educational. There was going to be no value in it in terms of exposing them to new lands, new cultures, geography or scenery. We went with one intention; to go on the Disney Cruise, which itself was just about indulgence and comfort. Add on to that, being in the theme park city of the world, we spent the rest of our time in theme parks, riding roller coasters and soaking in everything make believe and computer generated. In other words, we did not go to the United States, we went on a themepark holiday.

But JED had a great time as did we. And it wasn't true that they didn't learn anything. This trip was a first for them in many ways.

1. They had to look after themselves and they did so in a myriad of ways.
In Orlando, they slept in the upstairs bedroom while we were downstairs. They were in charge of getting themselves ready in the morning without any prompting. Many a morning, they appeared at my bedroom door all ready to head to the parks.

2. They had to look after each other.
On occasion, we would leave them alone to get groceries, get dinner and even do a spot of shopping. My paranoid imagination had them fighting and hurting each other or me coming home to a house on fire. But none of that played up. They watched TV, cleared the table at the designated time (as monitored by Evan), brought everything into the kitchen with no mess and nothing broken (supervised by Jordan) and then trooped up to wash up (closely watched by a hawk-like Muffin).

3. They looked after their own things.
For children who have a helper in the house, they can be awfully spoilt and messy. But on vacation and with my declaration that I wasn't going to pick up after them, after the nth time they were unable to find their toys or their pyjamas smelt funky because they left them in a pile together with a wet towel, almost everything got folded away or put away nicely. It wasn't perfect but it was good enough.

Granted, there was the non-Facebook- non Disneyfied version. That included
a) a bout of food poisoning which required a jab and quarantine
b) a hacking cough (that lasted all holiday and made it back 3 continents)
c) bad food (Poor Chinaman Muffin had nothing much to eat except for fries, hash browns, sausages and chicken tenders and even that got old quite quickly)
d) the occasional bad weather (either too hot or too cold)
e) too much walking causing exhausted, painful feet, whiny children too heavy to carry
g) bad airport queues causing us to almost miss on flights on multiple occasions
f) 13 hour long transatlantic flights with our girl child who was unable to sleep, kept throwing up and eventually only settled sleeping on the cabin floor at the back of the plane.

But even then, we miss it.

So, posterity, the a video that JED and Packrat worked very hard to make.



It'll be a holiday we all will be talking about for a long time to come.

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Dealing with loss- a 9 year old's perspective

JED lost their great granddad last week. The twins, in particular were close to him because they grew up living in the same house as he did. There's something to be said about living in a multi-generational house.

Anyway, he passed, at a ripe old age of 100. We knew it was soon because he wasn't doing so well and had done our best to prepare JED. Even then, when we found out that he had passed on, telling them was still going to be no easy feat. For good or for bad, Grandma broke the news to them before we managed to.

Jordan was inconsolable. Evan was very take charge. He took it upon himself to ring myself and Packrat to let us know. He also let us know that Jordan was distraught about it. Muffin was confused because he didn't have as many memories about Tai Gong as the twins did and he couldn't understand why he wasn't as upset as they were.

It took some time for us to talk Jordan through her despair. And what perhaps helped them all process it was for them to write cards to Tai Gong to place before the casket. We also got them to share their best memories of Tai Gong.

Jordan: Going into his room and taking his hymnal and singing with him.

Evan: Stealing butter cookies from his cookie tin (the traditional round tin of butter cookies)

Muffin: The stuffed tiger that taught him to roar loud.

Allowing them to talk about Tai Gong seemed to help. So did bringing them to the wake. When there weren't many people about in the afternoon, we brought them over and allowed them to say goodbye and place their flowers and cards.

We didn't stop them from crying. Some of the elders tried to console them by telling them not to cry since Tai Gong was in a better place and had gone to heaven but we told them they could cry and it was okay to be sad. Because we didn't hide how sad we were to have lost him, we told them they didn't have to either.

By the end of the funeral, everyone was emotionally spent but I think we were all calm and at peace with Tai Gong's passing. And while I thought we were done processing our grief, I found a letter Jordan had written to a friend, two days ago. The passing of a friend's cat had triggered reminders of all the deaths she's had to see through this year and that's when I realised that in their own little ways, they were still coming to terms with Tai Gong's passing.

He had no longer been part of our daily lives but I think he was always at the back our minds. And even though the twins had memories of him, it didn't seem enough to make up for the fact that he wasn't physically present anymore. So slowly, they have to work through it and as parents, we are just there to answer their many questions and hold them tight when it gets too much.

 But in the little things that they have said and done since Tai Gong's passing, they're also showing themselves to be little grown up beings in more ways than one. And I'm pretty sure, Tai Gong had a little bit to do with that too.

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The Corner Book Stall at the Market

As the youngest of 3, with brothers much older than I am, I could not wait to grow up. After all, I saw first-hand the freedoms they had as they got older and I couldn't wait to have the same freedoms.

Freedom meant the ability to go where ever I wanted to, by bus, on my own. Freedom was also defined as getting an allowance.

The biggest symbol of this freedom was this stall in Marine Parade Market. It was a second hand bookstore. You paid money for the book and if you returned it within the stipulated period, you got some of the money back. So, the trick was to rent the book and when you returned it, you use the money you got back for the book to offset the new book.

I would take the bus there, once a month when I was younger and had less money. When I got older and had more allowance or when it was vacation time, I would go there more often and get more books. Why didn't I just go to the library? Because the owner would be able to recommend books to me based on what I had previously rented (This was pre-Amazon but he provided that service). And he had series of books that the library thought too frivolous to bring in. I remember a gymnastic series called Perfect 10 and a ballet series called Satin Slippers that I bought from him and I still have them kept somewhere in a box.

It was a great place. It was musty as book stalls with thousands of old books would be. It was hot because it was in a market. And it was tight and squeezy because the owner crammed as many books as he could into that small space. But it was a place where you could always find something you wanted to read. And the amazing thing was that he knew exactly where every single book was.

I hadn't thought about this place for a long time. In fact, since I had moved out of the East, I hardly ever went to Marine Parade Central. But I think it was always there, a memory, deep in the recesses of my memory.

This afternoon, while having lunch with my brother at Parkway Parade, another place that holds much sentiment for me, I talked about the stall and he recalled how the owner remembered him even after all those years abroad. Both of us lamented the loss of such second-hand bookstores; especially this one. Serendipitously, I strolled by the market and my heart actually stopped when I saw the stall open, right where it always was, with the shelves and shelves of books encroaching onto the walkway of the market and the owner looking like he did all those years ago.

We have far too many books at home. We could start a library. Our shelves are actually breaking under the weight of the books. But I could not resist the temptation of looking through the rows of books. I became a teenager again. With the Sweet Valley High covers of the past wedged amongst the more contemporary tween equivalents; the fantasy novels that I remember my brother read to current zombie genre ones, such a great hodge-podge of books past and present. So many of the books had covers that I remembered. The owner asked if I was looking for anything in particular. My mind was blank from the assault of nostalgia triggered by the sight, the smells and the sensation of being so close to all these old books again. I couldn't respond. 

And even though I couldn't tell him what I wanted, he seemed to know that I wanted the books from my childhood and teen years and pulled out the Enid Blytons, Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys from that period (also published circa 1980). The pages were yellow and spotted and the print and font familiar. I bought what I could. I wanted to buy the Enid Blyton ones too but I have the recent editions at home and couldn't justify them.

I'm not entirely sure that the twins will read them but it was important that I had them for the twins. I told the owner that the last time I visited the stall, I was perhaps an undergrad or maybe even younger Now, I'm back, getting books for my children who are probably 3 years shy of the age I was when I first found his stall. He remembers me, for bugging him for both frivolous teen romances as well as Tom Clancy novels.

I hope he stays around long enough for them to make the same journey to him for the same reasons that I did.

For those who have asked, here's the address.

Silver Kris Bookshop,
Blk 84 #01-187 Marine Parade Central
12- 8pm  (Closed on Tuesdays)

Find the McDonald's at Marine Parade Central, then find the playground beside it and find the entrance to the market near the playground. That's where it is.

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Of Potter Heads and Potter-lets.

I was late to Harry Potter. I only read it in 2000. I remember discovering it one day when I was home, sick from school. I don't think I was sick for that long but I stayed home for the next three days. And the good thing about reading it then was that shortly after I played truant, the fourth book was released. At that point, Packrat the fan boy, who was my then boyfriend, told me that I should wake up early and get the book the minute the book store opens and start reading it immediately.

That was the beginning of our Potter book launch rituals. The last book was launched during my confinement with the twins and I broke out of confinement to go get it from the now defunct-Borders. I am grateful for the weight and length of that one because it kept me company during the long mindless hours of breastfeeding.

That was 9 years ago.

Yesterday was the launch of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. And in the span of 9 years, I haven't become less of a fan but my fan-mania has been overtaken by the Potterlets that I've spawned. So it was fitting yesterday that they wanted to go for the book launch more than we did. At the crack of dawn, they were up (very much unlike a school day where they would have to be dragged out of bed kicking and screaming) and they were dressed for the part; robes, wands and all.

I can't say we weren't excited. We were. We peeped into the Times near us and saw boxes ready to be unpacked for the 7.01am launch.

Excellent.

And the 5.45 am wake up on a Sunday morning was well worth it. 

The staff really knew how to throw a party. There were drinks and 'treacle' tarts and the twins were sorted while waiting in queue. They also got key-chain door gifts. Unfortunately, Muffin's was a key chain that said "Platfrom 9 3/4" but he loved it as much as Evan loved his wand and Jordan her Hedwig. 

The twins kept making friends, kindred spirits and all. By the end of the morning, I had triple the number of kids I came with and even though they didn't know everyone by name, they were playing quite chummily with each other. They shared food, they sat in the corner and played Top Trumps; Harry Potter edition, the older ones kept an eye on the younger ones while speed reading through the book, all while waiting for the next activity to start. 

They took part in everything from the Cosplay competition to the Snitch Hunt and Trivia Quiz.

The highlight of our day was seeing everyone so dressed up, from Loopy Luna Lovegoods with the Lion's Head atop her own to an incredibly sullen- adolescent Snape and a teeny tiny Harry Potter in Gryffindor Quidditch Robes.

The highlight of our day as parents was to watch the girls take part in the Cosplay contest where they were among the youngest, without a care in the world, duelling like they always do when they get together. It got loud, very heated and seemingly real. We were so chuffed that they did it without a hint of nervousness and they got so into character they could barely stop.

And at the end of it, they got some other Harry Potter books for their effort.

They were on such a high for the rest of the day and it carried through when they found out that they were featured in the newspapers the next morning.

Jordan is speed-reading through it and trying very hard not to spoiler Evan who is half way through Deathly Hallows. We love how they've fallen in love with the world like we did and how they've taken it a step further by imagining it through the eyes of children.

I spent yesterday and part of today getting through the book so that Jordan could talk to me about it and an added advantage was being able to annoy the heck out of Packrat as I gasped and growled at the parts that he hadn't got to yet.

We've both finished the book now and are discussing it in hushed terms lest our 9 year olds overhear us.

One thing's for sure though; we're feeling a little bit lost now, after all the hype and high of yesterday and the fact that tomorrow is just going to be boring and ordinary again. 

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