One month down, a gazillion more to go...

Yesterday, we celebrated the babies' first month with a big bash. It was slightly reminiscent of us getting married, seeing that it was held at the same venue. We felt it strange that we were extremely stressed by being there, waiting for guests and worrying about the twins. But the twins made it much easier by being asleep.

The party was as much a celebration of their turning one month but also, us surviving the one month. It's been harrowing to say the least but I think we weathered it okay, not great seeing as I still have little ability to get the babies to sleep. This is unless I whip out my secret weapon- the breast, but I don't really want to do that all the time otherwise I'll never be able to go out or rather, anyone who has breasts that don't work won't be able to put them to bed.

Truthfully, it has been a month of humbling lessons. Adults thwarted expertly by newborns tend to breed humility in one. Afterall, logic gets thrown out the window and there's really no rationalising with these unreasonable but lovable munchkins.

So, lessons learnt-
1. Anyone who tells you that you will automatically bond with your child and fall in love with your child is a liar. The baby is a stranger, albeit a stranger that has been gestating in you for 10 months, but a stranger nonetheless. I spent my first days home not really wanting to interact very much with the twins. I would feed them and then hope they fall asleep after that because I had no idea what to do with the flailing mass of limbs in my arms. And even though I'd read Naomi Wolf's Misconceptions and knew to expect that I wouldn't immediately bond with my children, I still felt guilty when all I wanted to do was to hide in my room and pretend that my life had not changed irrevocably.

2. The midwives all lied when they said that breastfeeding doesn't hurt if you're doing it correctly. No doubt, it hurts a whole lot more when they don't do it correctly, the nipples do get sore and they get very very sore. By the end of the day, I would be cringing when my barracudas mistook my nipples as their chew toys that also conveniently released sustanence.

3. There is never a good time to change the diaper. No matter when it is done, Murphy's Law kicks in and the newly changed baby will deem it the best time to poo, once again, despite Mommy moaning about the fact that a diaper costs about $0.30 each.

4. Twins do not do everything at the same time. They have different internal clocks and they usually spend that time at night in the same cot discussing how best to have totally different schedules that totally screw around with our sanity.

5. It is possible to tandem feed, as in feed both at the same time, but my younger son tends to lose out because he's a distracted feeder and I am no octopus with hands to hold them as well as relatch them etc.

6. There will always be people willing to help and the dumbest thing a new mom can do is to reject the help and insist on doing it on her own. Even if the help comes with strings attached, like a whole host of inappropriate questions and backseat driving, just having someone to take the baby/babies off your hands so that you can rest, sleep, eat, bathe, blog, is pretty crucial.

7. Papaya and fish soup tastes foul, chicken essence made with DOM and Martell tastes foul but I discovered an ability to grit my teeth and eat the most foul stuff in the name of producing more milk. Having said that, I loathe being called a "milk factory" or any other references to the cow and its udderly functions.

8. The feelings that one develops for the baby/babies do eventually surface and you end up spending a lot of time marvelling at how the first photograph you had of the bub in question was one of it being an 8-celled organism. Those feelings however fluctuate, as do all feelings for anyone, depending on how well behaved they are that day. Similarly, there are days when there are friends I'm not all that fond of and other days where I'd go to the end of the world for the same friend. And when the baby doesn't stop crying regardless of what we do, walking, bouncing, singing, swaying, jigging, doing all at the same time, you're likely to not feel all that fond of the bub at that point.

9. Cabin fever doesn't end when confinement ends. I don't think I've totally wrapped my head around how much my life has really altered although I am getting a clearer and clearer picture of how encumbered I now am. Going out now takes careful planning what with babysitting and feeding arrangements to take into consideration. I gasped when I realised that we wouldn't be able to nip across the road for ice cream anymore.

10. The worrying that occurred during pregnancy, about losing the baby, whether the baby would turn out fine etc doesn't stop at pregnancy. It extends into the horizon when the babies make their appearance into the world. You worry if they're too cold, whether they're feeding enough, whether they're ill when they feel warm to the touch, everything. You end up being the world's greatest worrywart.

So, ten lessons learnt in the first month and I'm sure a gazillion more to come.