The best and the worst of times

Things I love most about Evan
1. His easy smile
2. How he looks round for me in a room and when he sees me, he smiles.
3. Him being ticklish and once you set him off, even looking at him makes him feel ticklish
4. Him being able to sleep for 3 hour stretches in the day

Things that drive me crazy about Evan
1. His waking up at 4 am and not going back to bed.
2. The constant need to be carried and screaming as if the whole world has wronged him when he is put down.
3. The way he bites, twists and yanks when I breast feed him.

Things I love about Jordan
1. Her chatty outgoing nature
2. How she makes you feel that she is actually having a conversation with you, eye contact, gestures and all.
3. How she giggles when I dance with her.
4. How she feels against me when I breast feed her.

Things that drive me ctazy about Jordan
1. Her ability to scream and be inconsolable for 2 hours at a stretch in the evenings.
2. Being petulant. Yes, 6 month olds can be petulant too.
3. Eating like she were already an anorexic dancer. She eats so little, her little brother is almost twice her size.

Things I love about being a mommy
1. Carrying my children and having them nuzzle up against me when they fall asleep.
2. Having been on leave for the last 8 months
3. Smelling their baby baby smell and knowing that I can come home to cuddle them everytime I go out.

Things that make me miss being kid free
1. My non flat belly- damn that diastisis.
2. The fact that even after 6 months, I still don't know what the heck I'm doing.
3. New levels of insecurity that I never know existed all tied to my ability and my expectations of being a mom.