Minding the P's and Q's.

One of the twins' first words was "please" or a derivative of it. They knew that "please" was the password to what they desired, a promise of good things and their way of gaining favour. Now, I'm teaching them "thank you" since they've pretty much got that one down pat. Of course, they use it incessantly and sometimes it's the escalation to a tantrum when the something they want is not kosher.

Packrat and I are pretty particular about this. That they be taught manners. That they learn to yell and say hello to their deaf-as-a-post but still insists on being addressed Grandpa. That the first thing they do when someone walks through the door is to run up and say hello. At Chinese New Year, we made sure they could present the obligatory oranges and greeting not just because it was funny but because it was respectful.

In that way, Packrat and I are very traditional. Almost Confucian, one would say. But that's how we want our kids raised. Respectful to the right people, polite to most and to one another. It seems a common sense thing that should be taught from young. But with all common sense, it doesn't seem all that common. Without a doubt, I'd like my kids to succeed in life and do well in whatever they do. But I think I will be bitterly disappointed in them if they turned out to be spoilt, rude and expected the world to revolve around them and everything to be laid at their feet. I come across so many of them, those so arrogant with no sense of modesty or humility. Those who suck everything from you, use you and then deem it fit to ignore you and waltz right by you when they've succeeded. Those who don't thank you for helping them succeed but would have had no problems pointing a finger at you had they failed. Those that I see like that disgust me, make me feel that everything I did was a waste of time and I'd failed by allowing them to succeed. And those make me feel sad.

And I'll be damned if I allow my children to be like that. To claim all victory as their own, to forget who helped them get there and to be humble in success. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I sure as heck am going to try. No child of mine, on results day, will waltz right by his/her teachers pretend they didn't exist and exclaim that they got xxx number of distinctions. That's just bad manners.

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