Saturday, May 09, 2015

Girl Justice Jordan

My daughter literally gave a boy an ass kicking two days ago.

Part of me was horrified. Using violence is something we do not endorse. My initial reaction was "SHE DID WHAT??!!"

She tried to defend her actions.

The boy in question was eleven. He's been pretty mean to his sister. His sister and Jordan are very close friends. So she tells Jordan about it. Jordan has told me quite indignantly that he's mean to her friend. She begged me to tell her mother. I guess she decided enough was enough and she took matters into her own hands.

So two days ago, said boy was in our house. He was bending over to pack his bag when Jordan walked in with his sister. She saw that he was bent over, walked over to him and delivered a swift kick to his behind. Literally, a kick in the ass.

Pissed off he was and yelled at her. She yelled back. He hurled names at her.

They had to be physically separated. Almost garden hose style.

She was upset after that. She cried.

We haven't made a big deal out of it for two reasons. One, we don't really know where we stand on the whole thing. Don't hit, yes. But protecting your friend, also yes. Two, we figured she felt bad enough. And when I did mention it, she was still indignant about how the big brother was being mean to his little sister and we could stand by and help. I've promised to talk to the siblings' mother. The only thing I've said to her regarding the issue, very clearly, is that she should never, ever, hit anyone. Well, there may be exceptions but for now, we're going for black and white.

That's our Jordan. Girl Justice Jordan packs quite a punch and looks out for the underdog. This is coming through very clearly; that she has a very strong sense of morality and justice. Both of them do but she's more proactive in responding to it. Sometimes, it comes across as tattling though Evan does that quite well too. But the other part of it is that she wants to act as the mediator and the one that smooths things over (of course, they are on her terms) and she wants to right every wrong (both perceived and real).

Another conversation I had with her was about helping others. I was trying to explain to her that sometimes, telling people how to act or behave isn't very welcomed. In fact, sometimes people might not take it well. It can come across as imposing and judgemental; in kid terms, downright bossy.

Jordan: But what if they are fighting? I can stop them and help them make friendship. My power is to make friendships.
Me: But they may not really want you to. You can go up to them and ask them if they need help. But when you ask them if they need help and they say no, what do you do?
Jordan: Walk away?
Me: Yes.
Jordan: But what if they don't know they need help?

Good point. But also the beginnings of a superhero complex.

Superhero training
So what do we do? We haven't quite figured it out. Vigilante superhero justice isn't as clear cut in real life. Whatever it is, she's got to learn that with great power does come great responsibility.


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