Sensitive mommy

Some people really need to be smacked around and taught proper etiquette around mommies to be. But then again, maybe I'm just being sensitive in my advanced stage of pregnancy. It's ok to comment and state the obvious that someone is large although it depends on how it's said to me. By friends who haven't seen me in a while, I don't mind so much. By some who express surprise that I'm large, I give a very quizzical look and go "er, if I wasn't, there would be a problem here." By those who exclaim and make a big fuss about it along the lines of "why are you soooooo large?", those are the slap worthy ones.

Similarly, with the rubbing the belly. When friends do it as a sign of affection, I'm fine with it and I'm quite happy for them to rub my belly although I did jokingly comment to a friend once that what she was doing would seem weird if I wasn't pregnant. Her response was that my belly was public property. Coming from her, it was funny. If someone else, especially a stranger had said it, I would thwack the person with my strangely heavy handbag.

There are however people, relatives, friends and acquaintances alike that are somewhat rude. And it is puzzling to me. I mean, these are usually polite people. They don't go round asking the obvious like "ay, have you gone fat?" etc so what puzzles me is why they think, just because someone is pregnant, which I might add, is an extremely common condition with hormones that already make for an even more sensitive woman, that they can get away with openly laughing at your clumsiness, awkwardness or the fact that you have no choice but to waddle? It really befuddles me and it's not because my brain is cotton wooly from the hormones or anything but isn't it just plain downright rude to go "ay, you walk funny!" or "you walk like you have something wedged between your legs!"?The latter was told to me by a friend who was plain offended when her best friend told her that in the very late stages of her pregnancy and the baby's head was engaged.

On top of that, pregnant women are known to go through various dermatological changes that may leave them looking less than attractive. I am fully aware of how self-conscious us pregnant women are at the sight of skin break outs, blotchy skin, extreme eczema, sometimes larger noses or swollen lips, swollen fingers and feet and angry red rash and welts from the heat. All in, because of how large we become, there's a lot of consciousness about how we're changing physically. I'm thankful that I was spared most of the skin conditions except for some early eczema and of late, a nose that looks like I had a cold and blew it too much. But I hear what cruel things are said about how one's lips are swollen, how ugly they are because of dark blotches of skin round their nose and cheeks and I wonder why people are so damn cruel? And cruel to a bunch of people who have absolutely no control over what's happening to their bodies. It's unfathomable.

Perhaps I'm just being grumpy because of the heat. My doctor told me very matter-of-factly that I feel so incredibly hot because of all the oestrogen raging through my body and that hormone dilates all the blood vessels making me a perfect candidate to live with the polar bears for a while. He also added that such heat cannot be easily alleviated by cold water and airconditioning because it's heat from within. And he asked me to prepare for more especially if I was going into confinement for my first month. I replied in the affirmative and he wished me all the best. So perhaps it's just that which is making me grumpy about this issue. But then, when I think very objectively about it, I don't see how anyone can make a case for it. When you tell people who make such unsavoury comments off, they will probably just tell you they were joking and we shouldn't be so sensitive. Well, perhaps, but like I said, us pregnant women, not the more secure and assured in the looks department, how not to be sensitive? And like I said, isn't it just common courtesy? If I had a nickel for everytime I wanted to say something rude to some of these people that have been all too generous with their opinions and comments, I'd be able to buy all the Kate Spade diaper bags in the world for myself now. But I chose not to. Why can't they?

A quick check on Google revealed that there are a whole ton of websites dedicated to pregnant mommy etiquette. That means I'm not the only one who has encountered it. Which once again begs the question- why???


Technorati Tags: Pregnancy, What not to say to a pregnant woman