Water babies

When I first had the babies and had no idea what to do with them because they were so alien to me and were irrationally hard to understand, someone told me it gets better. Especially when you can play with them. I didn't believe the people who told me that and I often wailed to my mother "You promised this was going to get easier!" My mother would just smile this sage-zen like smile and told me to be patient.

I don't think I'm totally there yet but I do have a lot more fun with them than when they were tiny and squirmy. Now, they're bigger and squirmy but can cackle and laugh and show that they're enjoying themselves. So much so that I hate that my job takes me away from them even in the after hours, even during the holidays. Yesterday, I felt like a child left at home while everyone went out to play because I hadn't finished my homework. I really hadn't. I still had papers to grade and the twins were going swimming with their grandparents and I couldn't go because the papers were due back by Monday. So, I stood there while they drove off feeling really crappy and dissolving into a puddle of tears when the car drove off with my babies. Packrat promised that we would take them swimming today but I wailed about how I wasn't going to be there to watch my kids have fun. It did incentivise me to get through my grading so that I could at least spend some part of my weekend enjoying my children.

Which I finally managed to do this evening. I thought it would be like the last time I wanted to take them swimming where it literally rained on my parade and once again causing me to dissolve into a puddle of tears. But it didn't. And we finally managed to get into the pool quite uneventfully this time.
The twins have begun to enjoy the water much more than they used to, especially Evan, even though he did drink a gallon of water and kept falling face first into the water. They had floaty ring things which gave them the freedom to chase all the bubbles that were erupting on the surface of the water. The two of them had a grand time doing that and protested all the way to the showers.

















































Evan looking extremely thrilled with the bubbles that he could catch and all the water he could splash at everyone including himself and Jordan having what reminds me of Spaceman Spiff hair


This also meant that they were exhausted very early into the evening and like the last time, proceeded to pass out almost immediately after dinner. I like tired, happy babies. They go to bed without much of a fuss and don't complain when you move them from bed to car and from car back to bed.

Tomorrow's Monday again and it's back to the grind again. I do harbour a teeny bit of hope that I can make things better for myself at work. But we'll see about that.

Incidentally, if it reads as if I cry a lot now, I do. I can't help it. I'm constantly overwhelmed and on edge so it doesn't take much to trigger the water works. My only consolation is that my children still cry more than I do but it's a heck of a comparison since they are pre-verbal and their primary means of communication is to cry and I have words. Although words really don't come easy sometimes and all the other times, there just aren't enough words to describe what's bubbling inside and I'm not saying this in a mushy, romantic way.


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