I hated Sundays when I used to work. The last couple of months, the days of the week didn't make a difference especially when Packrat hadn't gone back to work. Now that he has, I look forward to the days that he isn't at work. But there hasn't been dread, the way I used to previously. But over this weekend, I came close to feeling that same horrid rock in the stomach feeling.
Why?
Because of the twins. Because of their averse reaction to school. Mostly Baby J's. She cries pitifully when I put her into the car seat. Over the weekend, when I put Jordan into the car, she cried too and only stopped when I pointed out that her backpack that she brings to school, wasn't in the car. She continues wailing when she arrives at school and that escalates when the teachers take her from me. So, my ears ring with her cries for half an hour and it takes me about that long to shirk off the feeling of being the world's most terrible mom. When I calm down enough from that, I end up feeling bad for Evan who had cheerfully run off and didn't need Mommy's reassurance and was subsequently and involuntarily ignored because of the loud protests from his sister.
In Packrat's words, Evan is easily contented and happy to run about on his own with a goofy grin. And in his words, Evan is easy to neglect. Those 5 words make me feel depths of guilt that penetrate the ones that Baby J's wailing brought about.
So between the both of them, I hate school and I hate Sundays and Monday mornings that come after.
Technorati Tags: babies, going to school
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Book in blues
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Hey there... just wanted to suggest something... but you'll probably think I'm asking you to be even less of a mom...
ReplyDeleteWe run the babies' ministry in church, and we see kiddies who come in clingy and crying when they come with mummy, but if it's daddy or "auntie" or someone else who drops them off, they are all happy and smiley.
If you have someone else to do the job, you could try letting someone else do the drop off, and you do the pickup... then you'd feel less of a rat, and maybe Jordan might be happier? I don't know. Just a suggestion.
But you know how the female species is just more tuned into another's emotions than the male? Maybe Jordan is just tuning into your vibes, whereas like a typical male, Evan is clueless that mummy is dreading this whole episode as well??? Not trying to make you feel worse or anything you know... but yeah, been there, done that...