Spirits

In a Christian context, we talk sometimes about various spirits. Not as in the haunt-you-and-scare-the-beejeezus-out-of-you spirits or evil spirits but spirits of virtues. Basically, we believe in a Holy Spirit that can imbue us with good traits. And in secular speak, we also hear about spirits of generosity and kindness etc.

I blogged about wanting my twins to grow up with the spirit of humility and to have a sense of gratefulness in them. And I'm certain most parents want the same thing for their children. Today, I discovered yet another virtue that I think it's important. We all pay lip service to it. We all tell our kids and claim to live by this virtue. And that is of generosity.

I am blessed to know some very generous people. People who have gone out of their way to help me and now, my children. Little things, like explaining to me how to get my kids registered in kindy or passing me a bag of old clothes for the twins because they know it is expensive to raise 2 children on one salary. Or even just giving time and taking the kids off my hands because sometimes, a mom can only be a mom that long before she goes stir crazy and loses all her marbles. And I am eternally grateful. Sometimes, I feel like I need to repay the kindness and occasionally stress about how to do it. But usually those who give of themselves just like to be acknowledged.

My mother is the most generous person in the world. I am ashamed to admit that I am not half as generous as she is with her time or resource. But she is a great example and I have learnt from her. Where ever possible, I try to help those around me and try to make their lives that little bit easier. And because people give clothes and toys to my kids, I do the same. I give to those who have younger children than I do. All is fine and good until you meet someone who takes and takes and takes but never gives. And then you wonder.

Do you still give? Is it wrong to expect that because you've helped her and gone out of your way for her to expect her to do the same? Am I being calculative by expecting her to think about others for a change? I know I'm not perfect and I should be able to give and not expect anything in return. But there is a tank that one gives from. It needs to be replenished and if it isn't, there's really nothing to give.

I need to teach my kids that. Because there are two of them, their first abject lesson is to be generous to one another. We do it by example. My mother did it for me. I didn't learn from her flawlessly but I did learn. And I would like the twins to learn too. To share and to give. What will bug me will be when they ask the same thing I'm wondering now. Do they still give if they are being taken advantage of and made use of?

I haven't figured that one out yet. But I suspect for myself, I will still help the selfish-self-centred person who thinks only about herself and her kid because by not doing so, I'm an even worse person than she is. But that tank is rapidly running on fumes and I harbour no illusions that she will ever be different.

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