Siblings

For the longest time I was concerned that I was raising two different entities who didn't care a hoot about one another. I know that it's a phase they all have to go through where they have no other awareness apart from the self. And that they have no concept of others. But I also heard about how twins had an instinctive connection between one another, almost a sixth sense of sorts. I never saw that with the two of them and was convinced it was a myth perpetuated by soapy television and books.

Over the last few months, the twins have gone through remarkable changes. They are more articulate and aware of their emotions. They are more able to express their emotions whether good or bad. They have also become aware of one another's presence and have developed a bit more of a protective streak for one another.

Now that the twins are back from staying with their grandparents, Jordan is going through a "I don't want to go to school" phase where she will cry and wail and protest going to school. We suspect it's got to do with all the upheaval and she has separation anxiety leaving me. We also think it's her manifestation of the Terrible Twos so I don't entertain her wailing. The only way I accomodate her is to allow her to go to school in a dress rather than her uniform. So when she wails "no school!" I ignore her. When she wails "no school uniform", I tell her she can pick a dress to wear to school. So she knows which one is a no-go and which one is negotiable.

Anyway, she knows as her morning routine progresses to her having to leave the house for school and the wailing gets louder. Evan is all too easy to distract because in order to get to school, he needs to take the lift- the best thing in the world. So while one child is bouncing off walls trying to bulldoze the gates down to get to the lift, the other one is wailing and moaning.

In a fit of desperation, I told Evan to tell his sister to hurry up so that he could get to the lift. The boy took it a step further, stepped back into the house took her hand firmly, looked her in the eye and said "hold hand, jie jie" and led her out. Quiet like a lamb, she went along and didn't utter another peep till she got to school.

So, my little boy brings enough comfort to his sister to mollify her and is able to lead her along. Of course, he looks like the older one between the two especially because of the size difference. But I feel heartened to see him look out for his sister and that she responds to him. She's always been keen to hold his hand but he's always shied from physical contact with her. But that seems to have changed and it's nice to see. Yet another reason to put them in the same school but Packrat will have none of that co-ed school nonsense for many reasons so we'll see.

Well, either one of them will have a sibling in the same school with them so I guess that will help but I'm guessing more for the younger sibling than for them.


















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