Bob the Granddad

It has always saddened me that my children don't see enough of my parents. But the truth of the matter is that they are too aged and too busy to be able to help keep up with my 2 and a half year old bundles of exuberant, hyperactive energy. It doesn't take much for me to miss my parents, especially when I live on the other side of the island and find it hard to seek solace in my in-laws just because they are my in-laws. I am eternally grateful to my in-laws and how much they have helped with the twins and how much attention they shower on the twins. No words can express that.

But at the end of the day, I am my parents' child and my children are my parents' grandchildren. Because we only see them for a couple of hours a week, the grandparents Ng are just people whom we drop in on once a week. Thankfully, my children are performers and on command, will yell on top of their voices for their Grand dad.

Because my dad is almost totally deaf, he misses a lot of conversation and always feels left out because he can't hear what's going on. I, personally, find it difficult to hold any sort of conversation with my father because I sound rude and insolent when I do so. Sometimes, I feel so because it frustrates me that he can't hear and by extension of that, doesn't really process what I say to him. But at the same time, I feel so sorry for him because we, his children, are all he has and he loves us to death, in his own way. So, I make it a point to make sure that my children are over the top with their affection to him. Even if it is something that I have to command them to do, I make sure they do it and I make sure he sees it. If only for a couple of hours a week, at least he feels that he is the most special person in the world.

Evan tickles him because Evan hollers for him on top of his voice and calls him 'Bob Builder Ah Gong'. Sometime back, Evan was learning all our names and when I told him that his grandfather's name was Bob, he put two and two together and started calling him Bob (the) Builder Ah Gong.

Jordan being the more physically affectionate one, will go up to him and hug him, will holler for him to look at her and will reach out for his hand when she's coming down the stairs. But what warmed my heart today was when she clambered onto his bed and sat with him, albeit filled with sand since she was fresh back from the sandpit and playground. Because my dad is deaf, he watches Channel 8 Chinese serials since they are the only thing, apart from DVDs that have subtitles.

My little TV addict daughter was utterly nonchalant about the fact that there was no sound and snuggled into her grandfather and sat there, riveted. She had to be pulled away from him to get showered and resumed her spot by his side the minute she had her clothes forcibly put on her.

This made my father beam and cuddle her, to which she responded in kind, climbing all over him and smothering her with her two year old kisses and big smiles. It also led him to take me aside and tell me that my children were well-behaved and obedient; which coming from him, the stern disciplinarian was extremely high praise. He also tells me, when I nag the twins to say hello to him or to hold his hand or something, that it is alright and I shouldn't disrupt them since they are eating, watching television or staring into the fish tank. That, in itself is a great concession because this is the same man who would thunder very threateningly if we weren't at the door to say hello to him when he came home at the end of the day.



















No doubt, he lives with my brother and my brother's three children. But because they are older, are less pliable to command performances and have their own lives, he seems more disapproving of them and they give him a wide berth because he is, after all, an ornery old man.

So, once again, I do what I can to make my dad smile for those few hours that we are there and I hope that both my daughter and my son will continue to share something in common with their grandfather and in their own way, warm the cockles of his heart.


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