The confinement nanny who is helping to look after Muffin went back for CNY. And this time, I decided that I would take on the sole responsibility of looking after Muffin. Packrat thought that the twins would be quite happy to enjoy the festivities of CNY at their grandparents so he arranged for them to stay there while I stayed home with Muffin. He, the able bodied-not vulnerable to Asian interpretations of "wind", would shuttle between the two camps.
Looking after Muffin has been relatively easy. Perhaps it was the baptism of fire 2 years 7 months ago that makes this look like a stroll in the park.
But emotionally, I'm a bit of a wreck. I miss my older children. I feel guilty that I haven't done much that is stimulating with them, mostly concentrating on getting them to not smother their little brother or kiss him on the lips. They bring home all sorts of germs from school and even their own bodies don't do the best job deflecting the bugs, what more the body of a 10 day old infant. We've been trying to get Jordan to do her alphabets but she is more interested in other things and I just haven't had the time or energy to be dogged with her about it. With Evan, I've been concentrating on filling up his love tank so all other pursuits are on the back burner.
So because of that, I feel like I'm neglecting them and once again, choosing the easy way out; just looking after one child.
It's awful that even when I know I'm not doing anything wrong, my conscience finds some way of pushing me off the edge into the ravine of weepiness.
Technorati Tags: twins, newborn, siblings
Monday, February 15, 2010
How to induce Mommy guilt #2395
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I still feel Mommy Guilt every single day for not being able to spend enough time with each kid!! I used to wonder if I'm the only weird one who struggles with this all the time.
ReplyDeleteDid u get the guilt feelings with the twins? I mean, right from the start they had to share you.
PS: Bravo on the previous post!!
Sheri,
ReplyDeleteI get guilt feelings with the twins all the time! And right from the beginning too! Jordan naturally gravitates to me so it always feels like I spend more time with her. And I feel guilty that I don't spend enough time with Evan.
Now, it's worse!
We had our first baby almost 3 weeks ago, and I started feeling guilty everytime I don't pick her up after she starts wailing (or the husband doesn't) or when I don't know why she's crying.
ReplyDeleteArgh. But still wouldn't change anything for the world.
PS: Congratulations on Muffin :)