Permanent Solution

While discussing contraception with Packrat, he asks, if we could really afford it, as in have enough help, be able to send the kids to their choice school and even have enough to send them overseas, would I EVER consider having Number 4?

I let it roll around my head for a little bit.

I thought about how I love the smell of the baby. I thought about how I love their inate baby-ness and how sweet it was when the baby looked at you and grabbed your finger.I thought about the very superficial fact that I would miss my Ob-gyn. I thought about the long moments I have, staring in awe at my baby as he feeds from my breast and clings on to me as if I were a life-line. I thought about how I would love to have another baby girl and be able to shop for pretty clothes. I thought about all the funny things the twins say and wondered what it would be like to have another few years of that.

Then I thought about going through childbirth again. The pregnancy and the throwing up. I thought about the uncertainty of a new infant's feeds. I thought about the nervousness I had, wondering if the baby was developing okay. I thought about the breastfeeding and sleepless nights. And the tantrums to come. And one more child to worry about, take to the Emergency department. Weather through fevers, coughs, runny noses and the assortment of medicine associated with that. I thought about myself and how I need to shed a whole ton of weight and how, unless I went for surgery, I'd never get my abdominal six-pack back and how I fall asleep every single chance I get.

And the answer was, even if we could afford it (and that is already a very big IF), a very certain, very definite, over my dead body, NO.

We're stopping at 3. Thank you very much.


Technorati Tags: pregnancy, birth rate