Night and Day

The stereotype is that boys are less shy, more outgoing and bold. They are supposed to be less fearful and anxious. Girls are supposed to be clingy, nervous about separation and introverted. Supposed to be.

My twins defy stereotype and convention. Evan has always been the more articulate one. Jordan the bolder, more coordinated one. Teachers remark about this too. Jordan sailed into her new class at the beginning of this year as if she owned it while Evan clung to me, tear streaked.

We don't really know why Evan is more timid but he has been from day 1. Jordan has always been more assertive, to the point of rubbing people (some of her caregivers) the wrong way.

A few days ago, we popped into the Better Toy Store to order something and there was a story-telling session happening. Jordan was immediately riveted and pushed her way to the front and was in the midst of all the activity. Responding when asked to and singing on the top of her lungs.


















I gently ask Evan to join her but he refuses to leave my side. I try to coax him by telling him that it's a story about a mouse and that the mouse is looking for some cheese. He refuses to budge and declares that the "story is lousy" and he doesn't want to go. I don't force him. I take him round the store to play with the various toys on display. He also tells me that it is noisy and he doesn't like it.



















The poor sweetheart. He has Superman hearing. Everything is too loud. He even stuffs his fingers in his ears when his father snores too loudly. He hates new situations and needs me there with him to ease the transition. And in a situation like this, even he knows it's not worth his effort to try to settle and get used to the situation. So might as well just bear with it and hope it finishes soon and his sister would be done soon.

Our instinct is to indulge him and comfort him in such situations. We, mostly me I guess, try to make it better for him by holding on to him and not insisting that he must be in the social situation. I am certain at some point, it would do him good for me to insist that he joins in and be independent. But right now, I don't really have the heart to. The boy has learnt to give me a stressed out-'I don't want to be here' -'get me outta here' look that I give in to most of the time.

It's amazing. They shared a womb, share the same set of parents and the same experiences but couldn't be more different.

We wonder what Muffin would be like and whether he'd be more like Evan or Jordan. Right now, we can't tell although he spends a great amount more time than either of them did at his age gurgling, chuckling and laughing. 3 different personalities, all from the same DNA.

Bizarre.

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