How a mommy can drive herself crazy

It is that time of year where the parents of six year old Singaporean children go stir crazy. It is the season known as Primary One registration. A rite of passage. And some believe where the child goes, will set the child up for life. It is the time of year where friends with kids of the same age suddenly view one another with suspicion and as enemies. It is a dog-eat-dog P1 registration world out there.

And it sends shivers down my back.

I have some friends who are in the thick of it now. And the stories from the front that I am hearing have sent me into a stressful frenzy. For the first time in years, schools that didn't have to ballot, had to do so. Accidents have happened. Failure to change addresses to put one closer to the school, failure to locate evidence of alumni status (lost report book- who keeps those things!!?) and failure to actually understand which damn phase to register the kid in. And then the walking on eggshells while waiting to hear back about balloting.

Then there are those who aren't citizens and balk at the injustice that in the event of a ballot, being Singaporean gives one an edge. I've seen anxious parents sit at cafes feverishly banging away at an appeal letter to the school citing the kid's extra curricular achievement even though the poor child has only been around for 6 years and one has to wonder what a 6 year old can have done to make his or her resume impressive.

If I had to write a resume for the twins, Evan's would go along the lines of "has great interest in anything tech. Is able to identify cars by their insignia. Is learning to identify type of helicopter by the sound of the rotor". Jordan's would be "is able to draw very meticulously. Knows that it is improper to display her belly button in public and tsks anyone else who does. Is able to hold her dress and curtsey prettily. Can copy ballet steps by sight and is able to perform in front of a crowd".

Not very impressive. No Mozart level piano playing ability. No ability to read Pride and Prejudice at age 3. And definitely no ability to speak Latin. How I have failed my children! They will have to go to whatever school deigns fit to admit them.


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