(Im)Perfect Children

Everyone wants to think that their children can do no wrong and that they have borne children that the world would be grateful for. Unfortunately, anyone who thinks that their children are perfect are sadly deluded.

I have 3 children who are far from perfect. Of course, Muffin being the youngest and a baby at this point does the least wrong.

The twins and their high jinks amount to a 10 foot long list at least. Some of the things they get up to are hilarious but some are downright embarrassing and makes me exasperated to say the list.

I thought about it yesterday while being mortally embarrassed that I had raised unruly, uncontrollable children who could not sit still.

So here are 10 ways that my children are imperfect.

1. They cannot sit through a meal. They squirm, they play with all the cutlery and crockery and are always on the brink of giving me a heart attack because they seem to be always almost dropping them.

2. They run around in restaurants and if there was actually a stage, would be on it, singing on top of their lungs and if anyone were on stage trying to give a speech, they would chime in at the most inopportune times.

3. They don't listen to us when we try to shepherd them off the stage.

Obviously, we were at a restaurant last night and this made us keenly aware of their flaws. I wish our kids would sit quietly through dinner and eat like any civilised grown up. But I guess the operative term here is 'grown up'.

4. They cannot sleep on their own or have chosen not to so they invade our bed at all times of night kicking us off our nice King Koil mattress and relegating us to sleep on the cheap Sea Horse one we have to lay on their floor.

5. They still need to be fed during meal times. Despite all the earlier training of making them sit and eat on their own, they end up needing us to be there to shovel food into their mouth especially after the initial burst of enthusiastic hunger.

6. Evan's whining can rival any spoilt little petulant girl.

7. They rebel when they get disciplined. Evan's favourite way of rebelling is to pee on himself. One day, he did that and proceeded to slip and fall on the puddle. When that happens, I end up almost imploding from keeping the laughter in and a straight face on.

8. They are never well for more than 10 days before the next bout of cough hits. It's not their fault but it still makes things difficult.

9. They are so noisy they end up waking the baby all the time.

10. I always have one or the other clinging on, literally to my leg.

Ah, so anyone reading will say, what a shallow mother! Children are children and they will get up to all these things. Yes, that is true. I am just stating the obvious out loud. But I also dare to say these things because despite all their 'flaws', I think the world of them and wouldn't swope them out for any other children.

That's because despite being wild children who seem uncontrollable at times,

1. They are fearless on stage and in front of crowds. Well, Jordan more than Evan but when they belt out ditties, they are articulate and seem to be having a whale of a time.

2. They say the darndest things that even the best stand up comedian couldn't come up with on a daily basis. It's a laugh a minute

3. They are considerate children who know how to apologise if they bump into one of us.

4. When they are in a good mood and playing together, there's a lot of camaraderie between the two older ones.

5. When Muffin smiles his two teeth grin at me when I get home from work and peep through the window, he makes the exhaustion from work melt away.

6. Evan has my angry eyes and it's hard to be angry with someone who looks like a carbon copy of yourself.

7. When Muffin puts his head on my chest and I can cuddle him and smell the top of his head, my world feels complete.

8. I am a sucker for their emotional blackmail tricks and it's hard to ignore them when they start sentences with "but I love you, Mommy" or "I miss you, Mommy". Of course, it gets old quickly but their ability to express themselves is something I love.

9. They know at a very deep, intrinsic level what it means to be a family. They love it when we are all squished together on a tiny single mattress.

10. When they are falling off to sleep and they're cuddled up to me or Packrat, we gaze at them marvelling that we made them.

And at that moment, they are perfect.

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