Looking into the future

Tonight, we tried to convince the twins to sleep on their own because we wanted to go out. After all, as we told them, it was Valentine's Day and Papa wanted to take Mommy on a date.

This led to a conversation about marriage and the twins growing up,  finding their significant others and setting up their own lives.

It was an eye opener.

Jordan.
She wants Mommy to live with her in her rainbow house.
I told her that she had to ask her husband first and there was a possibility of her husband saying no. Her response to that was that she would ask him every day until he said yes. Somehow I believe she is capable of being that doggedly whiney till the poor sod gave in just for his own sanity.

(Of course, Packrat swears that if she chooses to marry someone like her father, aka him, that would never happen)

What surprised us was how genuinely upset she got when we told her that it wouldn't be fair to her brothers if we lived with her and could we please live on our own? She suggested that I would live with her and Packrat would leave with Evan. When I pointed out that it wasn't fair because a) we would be split up b) Muffin wouldn't have anyone stay with him, she burst into tears and quickly spiralled into hiccuping hysterics at the thought of having to lead a life away from us.

On one hand, it was touching that she loved us so much she wanted us to be with her even when she got married. On the other hand, Packrat turned to me and went "This one has got to go for that lesson on Cleave" Cleave is a lesson we teach in marriage preparatory class where the individuals have to face leaving their families and setting up house and family on their own.

As I stroked her head and promised that we would stay over some nights; we told her we would babysit Valentine's Day so that she could go out with her husband, I couldn't help but recall how I went up, not to my parents but to my brother and asked him to come live with us when I moved out. And he very gently told me that if I were moving out on my own, sure. But since I was actually getting married, he couldn't do that.

It's a long ways away and Packrat also promises that she will be singing a different tune twenty years from now but it's interesting to see her 6 year old view of marriage and her relationship with us. When she eventually calmed down, she talked about family and how we should stick together and lived in a rainbow house altogether. While I am heartened that she seems family as the most important unit, I had visions of us staying in a house that resembled candy and the bickering that JED get up to then amplified with spouses, families and old cantankerous parents added to the mix!

Evan. 

Perhaps it was because he was in a good mood tonight and his sister had just dissolved into a puddle of tears, he takes on the more mature role. He tells us that he wants to live in a hotel so that he can spend time with his wife. (ahem!) He tells us that we should also live with him. When we tell him it is physically impossible to split ourselves amongst the JED, he tries to divide the 7 days into sets of 3. He can't and I help him. I tell him that each child gets two days in a week and the one day remaining would be for Packrat and myself to go on a date.  He told me that I had to help him look after Krystal (with a K) and Joshua (My 6 year-old has named his kids). In response, I asked him who he was going to marry. 

His response was that there were 5 girls, all of whom he named but whose identities I shall keep anonymous, and he wasn't going to pick the girls. He was going to get the girls to "scissors, paper, stone, 1 time. Who win, who marry me. " This was said as a matter of fact and it seemed to solve the issue of him needing to pick a partner. When Packrat told him that he didn't have 5 mummies because Papa only loved the one and only Mommy and he didn't need another 4 girls to decide, Evan seemed doubtful. Packrat, on the other hand, just scored a bigger basket of points that any floral bouquet could have, without even having to come up with a single cent. 

 

   
So, in short, I have one daughter who wants us by her side forever and a boy who wants to leave his choice of bride to chance, because he likes all 5 equally and doesn't want the hassle of choosing a mate. The littlest, was fast asleep all through this entire conversation but seeing as he chucks a fit when we don't go anywhere as a complete family unit, I suspect he would be the seconder to Jordan's "Everyone live under the same roof" idea.

I forsee that all the skills we learnt facilitating marriage prepartory classes in church are going to become very useful in the future. All the while, I have to remember that I cannot roll my eyes at my future daughters-in-law, as stipulated by Packrat. 

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