Stripping the rifle, blindfolded

The joke when my friends were all serving National Service was not whether one could strip their rifles down in x number of seconds but whether they could do it in x number of seconds blindfolded. Apparently, they were supposed to be so familiar with the rifle that they were supposed to be able to do that.

Fast forward.

I've been told that it's not too early to pack my hospital bag. Especially since two babies mean an extremely high likelihood of early delivery. So rather than pack blindy and panic while everything is happening so quickly and I'm doubled over in pain and trying desperately not to swear like a hokkien sailor, I've started the rudimentary packing now.

I was also advised to bring a breast pump to hospital. It facilitates the production of milk and prevents engorgement, a process I hear is nearly as painful and hair-wrenching as labour itself. I haven't really bought myself a breast pump or 2 for that matter! My mantra is wait and see, especially since the set I'm eyeing costs an arm and a leg and one Kate Spade diaper bag combined. On top of that, my mother's idea of a joke has turned out to be of some use after all. The trick now is to figure out before hand, how to assemble the damn thing. I have also been inundated with horror stories of breasts hard as rocks and having to bear with the searing pain all because there was the inability to assemble the contraption. And looking at the parts, I'm not surprised that it takes a rocket scientist's IQ or a very calm collected mind to be able to put it together.



So, I try, conscientiously and obediently following instruction manuals. I hate instruction manuals. In my book, if it's not intuitive, it shouldn't have been bought. But since I didn't buy this in the first place and am still reluctant to actually spend real money on my own breast pump, them's the breaks. After a couple of false starts and a half hour, I finally figure it out.


This is one way of doing it, straight into the bottle and straight into the crying bub's mouth if necessary.

Then, there's this way, into a cup, into the fridge so that if the bub is crying and mommy is feeding the other bub or way to knackered to even open her eyes, there's sustenance a waiting.

All I have to do now is to figure out the steriliser that a dear friend bought me as a baby shower present so that I can sterilise the equipment before packing it into the bag. It's huge, it's got its own instruction manual and its own cleaning solution. Now, that, I'm leaving for the man of the house to come home and figure out. I figured out the pump, it's his turn to do the work, after all, the kids are his too.


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