How to pop the bubble?

I went to do my pre-admission paper work today so that in the event that the bubs decide to make an early arrival, I won't have to answer stupid questions like what my name is and what my phone number is while in pain. It feels strangely final though, to have the paperwork done. Like I've been given the green light to have them out- although I don't want them out yet!! It's too early still.

Anyway, another thing I talked to the doctor about today was the mode of delivery. Most of the time, twins are delivered by C-section. I took it for granted too, that I would deliver through C-section as well until I started reading a little bit more and realised that there were people who did deliver twins naturally. What also gave me hope was the fact that one of the bubs was in fact head down.

But when I ran it by the good doctor today, he said that we'd still have to wait and see because the other bub had his/her head jammed into my ribs and that wasn't a good thing if I wanted to deliver them naturally. Even with a single birth, doctors would be reluctant to deliver a breech baby naturally although it is a little bit more common and possible than when one of twins is breeched. So he told me to prepare myself for a c-section birth and told me that while it wasn't ideal, it did have its perks.

Strange thing is I felt extremely disappointed when I heard that. I guess in my head, ideally, it would be a natural birth for many reasons. Practically speaking, I'd recover from it a whole lot faster and with two at the same time, that's something pretty important. There also won't be a lifelong reminder of the birth on my belly and I'd get to nurse the babies almost immediately. On top of that, I have come to realise how much I hate staying in hospital so a natural birth would also mean I get to go home faster although that means the nightmare begins much earlier as well!

There are a whole lot more reasons why a natural birth is favourable but I guess I need to reorientate my mind and remind myself that I should do what is best for the bubs. I don't want to endanger either of them at my insistence on doing it vaginally. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if that were the case. And I guess, at the end of the day, what counts is that they are out safe and sound. The worst scenario would be if I tried to deliver them naturally and it didn't work and put them at risk and then end up having to do what is called a "crash c-section" which in itself already sounds horrifying!

So for the next few weeks, I will need to start wrapping my head round the idea of getting spliced open. I'll also need to prepare Packrat for it because the future dad's not all that good when it comes to blood and gore and apparently, there will be plenty!

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