I think my daughter prefers the bottle to my breast. When I feed her, she'll feed for a while and then scream blue murder even though there's still milk in abundance. I figured it's got to do with the fact that she gets the bottle at night and sometimes in the day if I'm not home or not feeling well.
This has added to the already building layers of dismay that I feel. And of course, to make it worse, the BFNazi has made it worse by berating me for having put them on the bottle this early on in their lives. That made the mommy in me feel extremely guilty for failing my own child. But the rational and educated adult in me knows the world has not come to an end because at the end of the day, if Jordan can drink from the bottle and is willing to do that, that's all that matters.
Unfortunately the mommy in me is winning and I'm heartbroken that she will only drink for 10 minutes at the breast and then scream her little lungs out. I fear that if I stop nursing her, I won't be as close to her as I will be to her brother who has no issue taking the breast or the bottle. Damn all those BF Nazis out there who promote direct breastfeeding as the be all and end all and this whole issue of nipple confusion as great a sin as giving them formula which I am also guilty of. I think, by their standards, child services should come and confiscate my babies since I've committed the biggest offences possible!
So how? For now, I'm going to keep trying- she gives me a little bit of hope because even though she kicks up a fuss, she does drink and fall off to sleep after that and I take comfort in knowing that if she were still hungry, she'd be yelling her head off too. On top of that, she also protests furiously if I were the one to give her the bottle so she knows I'm the one with the real stuff. It's becoming increasingly clear who the trying one will be. I don't love her any less, in fact, it makes me want to try harder although she's also reducing me to tears a whole lot more.
Technorati Tags: babies, breastfeeding,
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
The ultimate heartbreak
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Is your girl's reaction something like a frantic bopping on and off the breast? I kena before from my no.1. Just endure ok? Keep trying. I think it's a phase. My friends also have this stressful frantic/crying baby at the breast experience before. But all the babes outgrew it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it IS a good decision to introduce the bottle early. Really. Or else next time the baby only wants the boob and nothing else lor. Want to go shopping also must bring baby along, or else baby will starve. Until now, my no.2 still prefers direct latch on. She took MONTHS to accept the bottle.
Do what you feel is right. At the end of the day, you know - and LOVE - your babies best and most. That's why whatever decision you make as their mother will also be the best decision anyone can make for them. Guidelines, tips, rules, advice, etc are ultimately just that - based on general knowledge/wisdom but not baby-specific.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, you seem to be doing a great job! The love, concern, anxiety, paranoia(!) - you're a mummy who's got it all! So don't let the BF-nazis get to you! :)
yah, tell all those BFNazis to fck off. it's hard enough with 1 baby, and you've got twins!
ReplyDeleteyou are already doing your best and that's what's important. at the end of the day, if mummy is not happy/sane, i think the babies won't be either...
Hey there... hang in there sweetie... I know it's hard to deal with the new-mommy guilt, but let's just face it... different babies are different, and no matter what we do, things will never be picture perfect, the way it was in somebody else's life with somebody else's baby... it's your life, and your babies, and you're their mom and nothing will change that... at the end of the day... nothing can come between you and them... nothing changes that.
ReplyDeleteForget about those BFNZ... it's hard not to subconsciously absorb all that crap from people "who know better"... watch "crash test mommy" on cable 70... it's good for your soul and for dealing with all that mommy guilt... becos at the end of the day, all those know-it-alls don't know it all... and have to admit it on national tv. LOL. Hang in there... like I said... all my babies mixed bottle and breast... and yes, two of those 3 screamed bloody murder while feeding... but what the heck.. they still turned out fine.
Love and prayers to you!
email me at jr4email-blogs at yahoo dot com if you need anything, yah? Or PM me through SMH forums... OK?