Terrible Two Tantrums

The twins have officially hit their Terrible Twos. Evan worse than Jordan. Packrat thinks that Jordan's Terrible Twos were when she was an infant. When she was unreasonable, could cry for hours when she didn't get what she wanted and displayed great anger at everything that did not go her baby way. She still throws tantrums, she still gets angry, she smacks and kicks occasionally, but generally, she has developed a girl like quality about them. Her rages get distracted when she realises that you are angry with her then she cries and is upset because someone is mad with her.

At that point, it becomes easy. Put her into a corner, let her calm down and she'll come to you and want to be consoled. To be assured that you're not mad. I usually use that opportunity to explain to her why I was annoyed with her and reassure her that while I was angry at what she did and I was not angry with her as a person and still loved her. Often for good measure, I will make her apologise to whoever she was chucking a fit at and she would tearfully go "Solly" and angle for a hug.

Evan, on the other hand requires a different tact. He is quintesentially two years old. He will jump up and down in rage when he does not get what he wants. Flings away all attempts at trying to distract him and cry till he hyperventilates. He doesn't listen to reason, he is often fixated on what he cannot have. It often takes a long while to calm him down. And he fights it. Physically with all his strength. And for a two-year-old, he has plenty of strength. Kicking, flailing, making him impossible to carry or hold down.

I console myself with the thought that it is just a phase and he is a generally sweet and even-tempered child. Of course, that is until he doesn't get his way. And the difference is he has enough vocabulary to tell you exactly what he wants and it escalates in octaves when he realises he's not about to get it. This was what happened in Phuket.

Because the twins had been in and out of the pool so much, they developed quite a bad case of the sniffles, which meant, they were banned from the pool and were only allowed to be at the playground. Evan however, spotted a wading pool and before we could stop him had headed straight into pool filled with 13 cm of water. On hindsight, we should have taken him out immediately, but we thought that since it was so hot and he was unlikely to get his entire body wet in 13 cm of water, we'd let him splash around a bit.

The problem was when his time was up. We usually do this thing where we do a count down with them. So that they know their time is running out. Of course, water trumps any type of reasoning or mental preparation. The result was much splashing, this marvellous ability children have to squash their arms tightly together and squatting so they are impossible to lift (there is also another ability they have of plastering themselves to the ground but that hasn't happened yet *fingers crossed*) causing him to fill his diaper to the max with water, screeching, clawing and great big fat tears.



















Joy in the water.


The resultant tantrum and tears that followed after being unceremoniously dragged out of the water. Loud, angry, pathetic and snotty all at the same time.























He eventually calmed down when we got back to the hotel block and allowed him to ride the lift up and down a few times. Then, he started chuckling but hiccoughing at the same time with the remains of the tantrum still evident with the red swollen eyes and the tear streaked face.

I'm just hoping it remains like this, dealing with one tantrumist at a time. Because if the two decided to revolt at the same time, that might be when I might consider running away and hiding under a rock till they turn 25. And even then, I can't be guaranteed that the tantrums have resolved themselves.


Technorati Tags: twins, Terrible Twos, tantrums

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Snippet

Another snippet to be followed up later. Just in case I forget. And it's too priceless to forget.

Context.
The twins birthday. They're all wound up from having people over and cake to eat. Jordan refuses to brush her teeth. I tell her if she doesn't, she can't have a pacifier and pretend to go outside to throw away the pacifier. I am unaware that Evan has seen all this.

Then Jordan flings her toothbrush across the room resulting in a loud bellow from me and a slap on her wrist. This of course, causes her to wail. Then Evan pipes in.

Evan: Che Che cry. (Che che or Jie Jie is sister)
Me: Why did Che Che cry?
Evan: Mommy naughty.
Me (Trying to keep a straight face): Why was Mommy naughty?
Evan: Mommy throw Che Che's pacy (That's what J calls her Pacifier)

So, I'm the bad guy and the boy didn't see anything wrong in his sister flinging the toothbrush.

I'm touched at his protectiveness over his sister. But at the same time, me being cast in the role of baddie so early on...it's going to be a long 20 years!

Technorati Tags: twins, speech development

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Turtle hutch

I have been very delinquent about blogging. Much has been up in my world and I haven't quite stopped to catch my breath yet. There's been the Phuket trip, the moving (or attempting to move), a sick spouse, an extreme sense of ennui in the face of so much to do, birthdays and celebrations to boot...

So, while I organise my thoughts and conjure up some energy and time to actually blog about the events passed, here's yet another picture of Evan and his funny sleeping positions. This time, it's his turtle in a shell position and we put a turtle there for comparison.


These are times when I go "aw....my baby is so cute" Then he gets up and goes from zero to 100 in 2 seconds flat and I spent the rest of the time floored and speechless.



Technorati Tags: twins, sleeping positions

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The colour of money

Apparently, the concept of money and 'buying' things have to be taught. Some kids grow up thinking 'buy' means mummy/daddy will make it happen and whatever it is will materialise. The only good thing about these kids not having grasped the meaning of money is that they are not easily bribed. You can't tell them "eat this and I will give you $2" because $2 has no meaning to them. It could be 2 rupiah for all they cared.

Since Packrat comes from a family on financial advisors and analysts, we have seen it necessary to teach the kids about money, even at their wee ages. They learnt how to rotate and twist their wrists while learning to put coins into a money box. Now, everytime they see coins, they put it into the money box. The bad side is we can't leave coins lying around because they are like little sniffer dogs when it comes to seeking out coins.

The twins are also often brought to the supermarket as a means of getting them out of the house. One of the first phrases Jordan learnt was to say 'buy things' when you told her that she was going to the supermarket. The conversations that ensued often would revolve around what she was going to buy. Inadvertently, she would say 'buy apples' or 'buy bread'. Occasionally and it would thrill her to bits, we would give her a 2 dollar note and have her hand it to the cashier and she would wait for change to be given to her. Of course, in her mind it must have been "wow, cool, I give a dollar note and get a bunch of coins in return". More is probably better in her mind.

Anyway, the other thing about Baby J is that she loves rifling through my wallet. Two days ago, she pulled out a $50 bill that I was worried she was going to tear. In order to lure it away from her, I had to offer that which in her mind was of equal value. Biscuits. Goldfish crackers to be exact.



Apparently, I was equally gullible when I was little. Every Chinese New Year, my brother would try to trade my Big Blue Notes for more Red Notes. In my mathematically irrational mind, one note in exchange for four seemed like a good idea until I learnt Money in school and wisened up to my brother and his tricks. I threatened to do the same to his kids although to this day, I haven't remembered to do so. And now that I have my own to trick, the impetus of conning his kids is much less. *rub hands in evil glee*


Technorati Tags: twins, the concept of money, goldfish crackers

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Chilli padi twins

Since it was Fathers' Day today and I hadn't had time to get the twins to make Packrat a present, I decided to go out and buy him breakfast. Of course, when it came to eating it, he had to share it. Not with me although dry mee pok noodles with chilli is one of my favourite noodles dishes. He had to share it with the twins who apparently share in my Peranakan ability to take chilli.




As you can see, they're eating with gusto. Jordan ate more than Evan and declared it good several times. If you didn't catch it in the video, Evan pronounces the noodles "hot hot day". I guess it's the only "hot" he knows.

Of course, after that, both exclaimed a little at the burning sensation on the tongue and were given copious amounts of water and prunes to extinguish the fiery taste in their mouth. They did however try to return for seconds.

Strangely enough, I'm extremely proud of them. Don't anyone out there report me for child abuse please! I didn't intentionally smear their mouths with chilli and you can't blame me if my two year olds are a tad masochistic!

Technorati Tags: twins, spicy food, fathers' day

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2 chuckleheads

For those who were genuinely alarmed by my last post which I'd already added a caveat to, that it was cranky and angsty, here are some videos to show that however grumpy I am, the twins do crack me up.

They spent a lot of today playing in my giant bathroom because it seems that we've been hit by monsoon weather in Phuket plus both of them have a bit of the sniffles from being in and out of the water so much.

It's also because someone asked me if they were aware of one another and if they could communicate. They can, though they spend a lot of time just parroting one another.



And it is also obvious who the boss is between the 2 of them.



They'd do this all day if I allowed them to. But I can't leave them in the bathroom while I read a book because I'd be too scared that they'd fall head first into the bath tub and hit their heads against something. The other thing Evan likes to do but I don't have a video of, is to flush the toilet and just watch the water swirl around. All very gross. But all very boy.

Technorati Tags: twins, vacation, play, communication

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Growing into motherhood

Warning: Cynical Mommy post ahead. If you're looking for something warm and fluffy about motherhood, skip ahead, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

----

The first time I visited to Phuket, Phuket smelt of freedom. It was my first vacation without my parents. It was my first vacation with just friends. It was just after my 'A' Levels. Needless to say, the thought of the Phuket I went to then gives me a heady feeling. This is my third time in Phuket in the last 14 years. And each time, it has come to mean something entirely different. I am amazed how much my life has changed in the span of time it takes for an infant to become a rebellious teenager. And I think, in some ways, my life mirrors that analogy.

The first time, like I said, was a birth of new experiences. We went to Club Med where we ate and drank like there was no tomorrow or no weighing machine. I had no curfew (except for some strange warning from my mom to stay away from gypsies). I think I had enough alcohol for the first time to feel high and have a headache the next morning. We stayed up and lounged around because we could. We spent all day at the beach because we could although that meant lobster red shoulders and cheeks. I bought a white shift dress that I wouldn't be caught dead in today because it was short, tight, white and well, short. But for an 18 year old with a tiny waist, legs that had just won her prom night's best legs and a tan that glowed from a mile away, it seemed like the best choice.

The second time I went to Phuket, I was a fair bit older and somewhat older. I was married. I had my kids six months prior to the trip and it was my first vacation away from them. We chose luxury that time. Indulged as if on our honeymoon. The chauffeured driven Mercedes with reclining seats that took us from the airport to the resort. The villa that opened up to a pool where a chef would cook dinner for us and we dined by candlelight. It was a different type of freedom. For the first time in 6 months, Packrat and I were alone on our own, we had time for conversation, we had time to sleep and we had time to be like children carvoting in the waves, teenage surfer bums drinking mugs of cold beer (him) and coconuts (me) at the straw huts that peppered the beachline and adults dining with champagne. A divine break from reality.

This is my third time and this time, I am back in Phuket not just with Packrat but with the twins, the grandparents and a grandaunt to boot. This time, I am the twins' shadow. I'm up when they're up, I'm asleep when they're asleep (except for now). I'm in the pool when they are and any spare time I have, I'm trying to cater for their meals or wash/prepare their bottles. It defines my existence now. It could be worse I know. At least there are other people around who are able to take the twins' off my hands when I need to use the bathroom or prepare their meals. But this is the first vacation I've spent more time in the hotel room than out (except for the time when we went to Bintan and it rained 3 days straight). I'm struggling to break out, to break free, to have a moment just by myself or to talk a walk with Packrat by the water at night. I feel like a frustrated teen that is dying to break out and just break curfew for once except all I'm hankering for is some time to do my nails. And I watch these kids outside our window as they fling, flip and swing their way in space during their Trapeze School lessons and I'm wishing I could be there, soaring through the air without a care in the world.

The reality is that unlike a teenager, I am well aware of my responsibilities. And I have to carry them out. It is what propels me out of bed at the crack of dawn when the kids wake up because I cannot bring myself to fob them off or to leave others to tend to their morning needs. It is why I haven't chucked a fit about not seeing more of the resort than the children's pool and playground. I'm here for the twins and that's fine. Except, there's a little part of me, which has not sold out into Mommy mode who cries out for some air and space. That little part's not likely to get any air time soon. But I guess that's what it means to be all growed up. More than most 14 year olds would but I guess the difference is while 14 years have passed, I do not have the luxury of having the sensitivities of a 14 year old.

I know I shouldn't complain because there are moms who suck it up for a lot less. But we're all wired differently and however much it makes me sound like a prissy, self-centred princess that shouldn't have had kids, I need my time outs. And I'm not afraid to say it because I know it doesn't make me a bad mom. And I also know that I don't have it, I suck it up and do what I have to do with a smile on my face (except for the first hour after I've been rudely awoken because then, a bear with sore head would be preferred company) because I do love my children and I am sincerely happy that they're having a great time.

Technorati Tags: twins, motherhood, vacation, Phuket

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Boys and their toys

A cousin of mine who is expecting is displeased that her husband is looking to buy a 2nd hand Porche. He claims he can put the baby in the back seat. I ask, what back seat.

Another friend who just discovered his wife was pregnant went out and bought himself an $830 reel.

And yet, another friend whose wife is pregnant with their 3rd child has a BMW 1 series and has 3 PS3s in his house.

What do they all have in common apart from expectant wives? They all spend a great deal of money trying to still be a boy.

Apparently, it's a common phenomenon. Or so Packrat says. That boys will always like their toys regardless of age and income. And it starts from young.

Evan loves trucks. He is not the only one. The garbage truck driver that passes his school every morning waves at all the boys who line the fence to watch him drive by. There seems to be a great amount of awe for the big truck and it's a shared obsession from what I have observed and it's amazing. For a minute, the playground, the slides, the swings are forgotten and hold cannot hold a candle to a loud, sometimes stinky smelling truck.


The only odd one out was Baby J who went to see what the big deal was because her brother was there. But obviously only half as interested as the boys judging from how she wasn't nose pressed against the fence and actually looks like she's still contemplating going back to her beloved slide.

Technorati Tags: boys, trucks, playschool

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Leaving on a jet plane

Thank you so much everyone for suggesting what to bring on the trip. It's been plenty useful although I suspect I've naturally over-packed. I think the twins are psyched too because they didn't sleep well last night and woke up at the crack of dawn this morning.

Of course, that does not make for a happy mommy.

What else doesn't make for a happy mommy? Other people telling me what I NEED to pack for the twins and what I should do to try and make them comfortable. I think I generally hate that because it questions my authority as a Mom. So, it's not really about the travelling. It's just that this upcoming holiday seems to have everyone trampling on my delicate toes.

Of course, Packrat will say I'm being uber-sensitive as I have a penchant to be these days. I pouted and sulked for half an hour because he allegedly snapped at me while we were trying to get the twins to sleep. I say allegedly because he claims he was just trying to make himself heard. Anyway, yes. There is much Mommy angst because I hate packing and I'm all over the place. Right now, I need to remember to go to the supermarket to buy the twins a loaf of bread, some floor cleaner for our helpers here, a small bottle of liquid detergent for the twins paraphenalia and I'm sure other things. As much as I am stressed, I loathe writing things down because inadvertently the scraps that I note things down on gets lost in the wind or by grubby little fingers deploying creative marker streaks all over it.

Ok, this is just a ranting post. I don't really have time for this because I need to get ready and start my day that will end with us being in Phuket. Hopefully by then, my aggro levels would have plateaued and all the voices barking at me in my head would have quieted down or tired by then. Goodness, I sound like I should be swatting imaginary flies next.


Technorati Tags: twins, travelling

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Sleep in style

They say that one's sleeping style tells a lot about the person and his insecurities. I guess it's what makes a person feels safest and most comfortable. A newborn babe must be swaddled otherwise will cry herself hoarse, scared of the fact that she actually has limbs that flail. And that a foetal position implies that a person is tough on the outside but pretty much a big softie on the inside. And lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don't like criticism, or extreme situations.

But I've found little to explain what it means when the sleeper takes something and covers their face with it. Why I wonder about all this is because the twins have the strangest sleeping position.

Baby J will sleep in more or less a foetal position but with her favourite stuffed animal over her face. I used to think it was to prevent us from getting to her pacifier. But I really don't know. From young, she used to do an ostrich thing and stick her head into the crook of my arm or whomever was carrying her to sleep. Now that she sleeps on her own, the stuffed animal goes atop her face. Those who worry about her breathing, she seems to do it just fine. Packrat says she has the cutest Face Hugger around.




The picture is blured because the room is darkened and I didn't want to switch on any lights for fear that the munchkin beneath the Face Hugger might be woken and angered.

Evan on the other hand, will sleep freefalling and I sometimes think he dreams of freefalling. His new favourite way of sleeping is to sleep perpendicular to the cot and have his legs dangle off the sides in a pseudo standing position. I don't know how he manages to not cut off the blood supply to his legs but he can sleep like that for a better part of the night and has slept his entire nap in that position with his legs not just under the rails but wedged tightly between the rails of the be that you see on the right of the cot.




Someone told me that a baby's muscles were still at the stage where they didn't ache or get strained. That's why they didn't get stiff necks and apparently, pins and needles in the legs...although that might have a little more to do with circulation. On occasion, when the boy is feeling a bit needy, he uses his feet to search me out, to see if I'm still lying on the mattress between their cots. And then, he will press his foot onto which ever part of me he makes contact with and keep it there to prevent me from moving.

Such ploys to keep Mommy around.

Technorati Tags: twins, sleeping styles

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Up up and away

The twins are due to go on their first plane ride exactly a week from today. Their first holiday was by boat and for 3 days. We're off to Phuket for a week and this'll be a lot of firsts for them.

1. First time on the plane, which will either thrill them to no end or terrify them. I hope it is the former because I hope to take them on many more vacations.
2. First time on vacation with the paternal grandparents. I hope it works out because they do love travelling and the twins will benefit a great deal from travelling with the grandparents. We know we will. The extra pairs of hands and the potential for a night out with Packrat is enough, hopefully to keep any aggro at bay.
   
3. First time they'll be on full formula and fresh milk. I hope they don't complain. The breastfeeding stopped a while ago, but the milk stores in the freezer are still sustaining them. That said, I'm not taking frozen milk to Phuket.
   

So we're off in a week. I need a list. I'm panicking a little bit because I don't really know what to bring and I might end up bringing their entire room to be safe. Problem with that plan is that we are flying budget and luggage allowance for budget is pretty much 'what you pay is what you get'. I realised how useless I was at trying to guess-timate when I couldn't figure out

1. How many diapers to pack- I'm aiming for a packet of day ones and a packet of night ones. As my FIL keeps repeating, there are grocery stores in Phuket.
   
2. How many pieces of clothing to bring for them- MIL insists that we can do laundry. But do I really want to spend my vacation washing out the twins' clothes.
3. Milk bottles? Tins of formula? Once again... who knows? To figure it out, I need to figure out how many scoops of formula exist within one tin and I don't have enough IQ to do that without scooping everything out and putting it back in.
   
4. Toys? or No Toys?
   
5. Food? What food? I know there are grocery stores there but do I bring some staples just in case tom yum flavoured everything isn't to their liking?
   

I know I need sunblock, hats, beach toys and swim suit. Some clothes, diapers and formula. Everything else, I can buy I guess.

Anyone who's created a list and is happy to share, please send it my way! Thank you!


Technorati Tags: twins, travelling, packing

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CSI art

The twins have this thing about getting us to trace the outlines of their hands and feet. I suspect it's something they do in school. They also try to do it themselves but it's not the most successful attempt at motor control although it is admirable.

This afternoon, I decided I would do one better than draw Evan's hand. He was still sleepy from his nap and was lying on the piece of mahjong paper I had laid out for him to scrawl on. So, I told him to lie still (he actually listens now) and drew an outline of him, much like the chalk outlines that crime scene investigators do. He was quite good at identifying himself and asked for some hair to be put on his chalk self's head and some eyes to go along. I have zero ability to do anything arty so it turned out looking this awful. He still thought it was a hoot though.


Of course, asking him to fill in the rest of the body with colour was impossible. I did however, see him ambidextrously at work with a colour pencil in one hand each and going at it with a great amount of zest. And as you will see in the video, he can also fling objects from both hands simultaneously with equal strength.

We suspect he might develop into a left-hander. Packrat is thrilled because he thinks left-handers are generally smarter and of higher intelligence. I, on the other hand, am concerned about how inconvenient it is to be left-handed with only 1% of school furniture catered for them. So, I'm trying to encourage him to switch hands. So far, it's worked but who knows if he really is going to be left-handed? If he is, I will go out and buy him his left-handed geometry and calligraphy set.


Technorati Tags: twins, art, play time

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What is mine is mine, what is yours is mine.

The twins have no concept of what it means for their parents to be celebrating their wedding anniversary. All they knew was that Mom and Papa disappeared for 2 days and that there was cake to be had. And the latter more than made up for the former.

The twins love cake. Possibly because this health nut mommy doesn't give them much of it, especially after seeing how the kids of other people buzz and vibrate on the spot after being given too much sugar. But more than them loving cake, they love blowing out the candles that sit atop the cake. We encourage this because we know they'll need to do a command appearance of that in less than a month's time for their birthday.

So, Packrat's parents, bless them, bought us cake to celebrate our anniversary. But really, it was more for the children and we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. We were trying not to burst our sides laughing while the two valiantly struggled to blow out all six candles and at the same time, raining a whole lot of germ infested spit onto the top of the cake.




And then, as usual, the inborn knack that siblings have to annoy the heck out of each other, was in its full glory for everyone to see. Some people have told me Jordan is a fiery little girl (a.k.a. chilli padilet) and she shows it here too. No qualms about taking what is not hers. Thankfully, Evan like his father isn't all that keen about cake and was pretty much nonchalant with Baby J reaching over to get some cake after finishing off her own. He gave her the cursory swipe but generally figured it wasn't a battle worth fighting. The girl wants cake, let her eat cake.



Their different ways of eating cake also tell you a little bit more about them. Evan can be a clown, but is also downright serious and for a two year-old has a remarkable ability to focus when he wants to. Baby J, well, she's just Baby J. She will engage you in conversation, show that she's having a time of her life and at the same time reach over and take your food without missing a beat. The girl gets what she sets out to get. No two ways about it.

Technorati Tags: twins, eating, sharing among siblings

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