Juggler in training

During a work review a long time ago, I was asked if I wanted to take on a certain portfolio. I very honestly admitted that much as I would have loved to and welcomed the challenge, I was acutely aware of my penchant for putting more on my plate than I could handle.

Right now, that just about is the sum of my existence right now. Too many things on my plate. And all things that I can't get rid off or 'off load', in bureaucratic speak.

There are the twins, who are off from school for the term break. There's little Muffin who can't lie on his own if he's awake. There's the fact that Packrat is swamped at work so despite his best intentions, I don't want to fob the kids off to him too much. There's also a helper that's not very helpful so I can't bring myself to ask her to help.

So right now, my days resemble a merry-go-round and while it goes round, I am trying to keep various balls in the air. And it's exhausting. My hat goes off to those who have many kids and go it alone. A friend said she was breathless when she heard what I was doing while trying to IM her with one hand and multiple typos.

This was my message to her (sans typos).

"I'm trying to express. But Muffin is up so I'm carrying him and typing this with one hand. Jordan's beside me and I'm terrified she'll end up spilling the milk as she's trying to take off her diaper and pyjamas while I give her instructions"

I was just thankful that Evan hadn't gotten up with and I didn't have to deal with him as part of the equation.

But generally, that's what my day is like.

Solution?

I've unceremoniously dumped the twins back at the playschool they were at last year. They're happy to be there. It's a treat to them and I get a few hours of quiet in the morning while I try and get Muffin bathed and ready for the day and then get myself a bath and perhaps some lunch if I'm lucky.

I've also planned to drop the twins off at their grandma's.

Of course, this makes me feel guilty because I'm not doing very much with them at this point. When I can, I read to them, play little games but not long after, I'm off because Muffin needs me again. I just hope that they're having enough fun not to notice Mommy's absence and by the time they do, I'd have a bit more time to spend with them.

There really is no rest for the weary.

But I told Olie, Muffin's Godma, I try and find the little things that make my day a little bit better. Like when Muffin finishes the bottle (which is a battle for him. He hates it!) or when the twins say something hilarious (Evan asking me to sing the Ah Ma clock song! (Turns out he was asking for the Grandfather's clock song). Or when I get to nap in the car when we're on our way home from some where.

Anything, to make the day brighter and more bearable. And perhaps, that way, I get to keep the balls up in the air, that little bit longer.

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