Morning surprises

There is a line that Tina Fey says in Date Night that I fully agree with and empathise with. She is complaining about how after work, she goes home and she has to fight with her kids about taking a bath and putting on their pyjamas and she screeches about how despite the fact that they do the same thing every day, her kids protest, put up a fight and generally make her wish she didn't have to come home from work. I'm loosely paraphrasing here because I can't actually find the quote.

But that's what it's been like for me every. single. morning. Every. single. morning. I wake up and get the twins ready for school. I let them sleep on as I mop them up, put on their uniform and socks. They basically can get away with opening their eyes five minutes before we're out of the house just so that they can get their teeth brushed and their shoes on.

But every morning this week, they've protested. Not in the whiny, reluctant sort of way but the full on screaming, kicking and flailing way as if taking off their pyjamas was akin to taking away their Arc Reactor and they would die without their pyjamas or heavy pee soaked diaper for that matter. And wiping off their eye goop and drool stains would severely reduce their resistance to the evil forces abound in school.

We've gone from bribery (promising Evan the iTouch, promising Jordan her pacifier) to cajoling to outright ultimatums. It's hard to battle with them every morning, especially when I'm tired, sleep deprived and all kinked funny from sharing the bed with bed monopolisers. I try to breathe and not lose it but I've come very close to tipping the entire wash basin of water over Jordan because she's screeching about wanting to keep her dress on rather than change into her uniform.

After they get up the school bus (by which time, all is forgotten and they're happy and excited to be going up the bus), I wearily turn to Packrat and ask him, like Tina Fey does, why oh why do they fight it if they know that this is what needs to be done in the morning and they've done it every single day for the last 5 months?

Of course, his logical answer is they're trying to push their limits.

Well, newsflash to the Terrible Tiny Twins as Plentyfish is fond of calling them, you've pushed Mommy's limits and the only thing stopping Mommy from getting a cane and using it is Packrat warning me about how using the cane on children breeds violent children in the future.

Argh! My hands are tied and I need a spa holiday.

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