My favourite children

Everyone who knows we have three children asks who we favour. Do we play favourites? Are we more partial to one than to the other two?

They are not easy questions to answer. We always have our favourites. But I have to qualify that. Who emerges our favourite at any one point of the day depends generally on who is the easiest and most cooperative. And at different times of the day, I find myself gazing at each of my children in absolute wonder. Of course, when one child annoys me over the other two, I find myself sighing and inadvertently comparing them and wishing that the ease of the other two children be upon my difficult third one. But that sentiment always comes with a great amount of guilt.

I absolutely abhor the fact that some people blatantly favour one child over the others, sometimes even going to the extent of ignoring the needs of the child. When that happens, regardless of how difficult the child was, I feel very badly for the child. Very indignant and very upset.

It is in these moments that I realise that no matter how annoyed I am with any given child that it is for me as a mother to play favourites. I love each of them and they are all my favourites in one way or another.

First there's Jordan.

My little fire-brand. The one that I had epic clashes with almost from the get-go. She caused me great amounts of angst, tears and was basically the reason why I went to therapy for in the first few months of the twins' life. I remember fearing then that she actually hated me and I had failed her as a mother. Because of my struggles with her, I grew up very quickly, in my role as a mother. And people who see us together now, would never imagine that our first months were the most tumultuous.

I suspect because of those first months, she will always have a special place in my heart because we had to work so hard to get to where we are now. And when she cuddles up to me as she falls asleep or holds my hand and refuses to let go even as she slips into her world of dreams, I relish the moment, knowing how badly I yearned for such closeness in during those long nights of piercing screaming.

















Then, there's Evan.

Evan was born the baby of the family. His cry, his deer-in-the-headlights eyes, his involuntary reaction to loud noises all made me want to protect him. As he got older, his megawatt grin, his constant cheeriness and easier (compared to his chilli-padi sister) disposition made my day. He is the one that would get up to the strangest antics, like breaking into the pop-corn jar and even now, trust him to say the weirdest things. Of course, right now, he is also my most challenging child because he is trying to push his limits and he is a do-er. Jordan is content to sit and flip through her books or just laze on the bed. Evan HAS to do something and by extension of that, I have to be doing something with him or he becomes El Destructo.

But when he forgets that he's being defiant and naughty and actually becomes Mr Helpful and does what we ask him to do with his flashing grin or holds a conversation with you in all seriousness about the most bizarre thing in the world like why black cats like being out in the dark, you're just swept away by him.


















And lastly, Muffin.

When we found out we were pregnant with Muffin, we were mildly panicked. We had just gotten over the trauma of having twins and we were worried that he would put us through what we had to go through with the twins. Our Ob-gyn in his usual comforting manner told us about how his youngest, despite being the most neglected, was the most well-behaved and the loveliest of his three children.

Thank goodness, the good doctor was spot on. Muffin has indeed been easy to figure out and a great joy to have. He has easy grins, only cries when he is uncomfortable or hungry and spends the rest of the time mostly being able to entertain himself. He has the loudest voice, possibly to rival his older siblings' ruckus and is unafraid to use it.




He is animated, has tone and is hilarious to watch.

Regrettably, I spend the least amount of time with him, primarily because of the ministrations of the older two. And surprisingly, seeing that I was pretty ambivalent with the twins when they were his age, I yearn to spend time with him. When I spend the day defusing the sibling minefield that the twins inadvertently find themselves in, I always feel like I've missed Muffin.

But I think, in a nutshell, Muffin is my favourite because he was a surprise, his birth took my breath away and he is the last of our children. It is a bonus that he's got big eyes and a big cheeky grin to boot.