Monday, February 14, 2011

A day of love

I'm blogging at 2018hrs on Valentine's Day. That gives you an idea of what we are doing for Valentine's Day. We have spent the evening showing love. We have muttered assurances of great love, that we will always be there. That we will never go away. That no one else compares. That the other person will always be number one. We have spent the evening fearing that our love is not enough and how else can we be everything that we are needed to be. The thing is, all these declarations of love have been to my little boy who goes into bouts of insecurity and to my little girl who misses me and screams hysterical (she is tired as well) when I leave the room even for a minute. And to my little baby son who sometimes gets forgotten in the milieu of chaos that ensues, I fear I am not doing right by him that I am not providing him with enough cognitive stimulation.

Yes, that's been my Valentine's Day. And where is Packrat in all this? We tag team the children, he distracts Muffin while I read to the twins and stroke Jordan's hair and hook my leg round Evan. Then he cuddles the twins while I sing and rock Muffin to sleep. And right now, he is at the doctor because he caught Muffin's cough.

Facebook has been an avalanche of updates that involve flowers, expensive gifts and dinner plans. Part of me is a little bit envious because I'm having herbal chicken and veg with rice in front of the television later. I saw many couples today. They all looked the same. The girls were dressed up and one arm would precariously cling to their partners while the other arm wrapped around a ridiculously large and expensive bouquet of wilting roses. They carry it proudly, although cumbersome because it is a badge of sorts.

We haven't really ever made a big deal about Valentine's Day. But I think as our lives become more about the kids and less about us, I instinctively reach out and try to snatch any opportunity to celebrate us. It hasn't been all that successful because our kids need us and their grandma has been with them for a better part of the day and it would be unfair for us to ask her to do anymore than the great lot she has already done.

I am thankful for the small things though. I am thankful that Packrat got me this Starbucks tumbler even though I don't drink coffee. And because of that, it is a silly gift. I love silly gifts in a life that is now filled with what is practical.

I am grateful that I managed to spend some time with him this afternoon as well. We grab what we can in between because I know that it is a lot more than what some other parents have. A friend of mine who just had a baby before Valentine's Day declared "Forget love. Give me food and give me sleep!" True sentiments of an exhausted mom. So I constantly remind myself not to whine and complain. But even then, I think we miss each other. Two days ago, Packrat hugged me after dinner and said he'd been trying to do that the whole day but hadn't been able to get close to me the whole day. And this was a weekend when we didn't have to work.

A far cry from dinner, chocolates, gifts and flowers. But I guess most days, Valentine's Day included, it's about the kids.

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  1. Tell me about it. I am stuck at home "doing" confinement, eyeballing a milk thirsty 2 plus week old. The only silver lining is that I smell fine because I threw the 'no shower' rule out of the window the moment I returned from hospital.
    Some Valentine this is. =P

  2. Just always have a great time with your son and I'm sure you will be a great parent to him.