Friday, February 04, 2011

Mother vs Employer

I have helper woes.

My helper of less than one year wants to return home. Apparently, her son, whom she was raising on her own has been forcibly taken from her home by his father (who did not want to have anything to do with her when she fell pregnant). Because of that, she's become gaunt, stopped eating and has become very distracted. Because of that, she's asked to go home.

It leaves me in a difficult position. I feel sorry for her because if anything remotely similar happened to my children, I would have totally fallen apart and lost it. And all this while I look after someone else's kids. That has to be very difficult. But at the same time, it leaves me very inconvenienced.

I need to find new help which is difficult to do because of the festive season and because of all the tightening regulations that the Ministry of Manpower are implementing. I have to travel in March and that doesn't help either.

It really bums me out because all 3 children like her. Perhaps she's not the most efficient helper around but she does good with the kids and in my book, that trumps shelves that are not properly dusted. So the hunt and weaning begins. As with the previous helper whom we actively decided to repatriate, we have to slowly wean the kids off her so that the transition isn't too difficult. Thankfully, Muffin is as close to us as he is to her. Jordan used to only allow the helper to get her to sleep and that was a stressful situation if our helper wasn't around.

I know it's a terrible thing to say but I do feel a bit annoyed having to be put through this. I know she didn't ask for it and it's a tough situation for me but the selfish part of me is also saying "How could you do this to me?". And most of the time, because that's the easier emotion to feel, I am fretting and stressing. And this is disregarding how much it will cost to get a new helper. Airfare for the helper going back, agency fees for whichever agent is able to find me a good helper, insurance again and all that jazz.

The older generation had it right. Without help, life is hard. With help, life is still hard. It's just a different type of hard.

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