Thursday, March 08, 2012

Holding down the fort

I know lots of husbands / dads who travel. As teachers we don't travel as much for work although it is not unheard of. I did spend three and a half weeks in Calgary one Chinese New Year pre-kids.

With Packrat's new job, he is slated to travel much more. I am happy for him. He gets to learn new things, see new places, meet people and chalk up frequent flyer miles.

But when he travels it bums me out. It's got to do with his presence. Realistically, whether he is around or not isn't much of a difference except on the nights that I work. That's because he is at work the whole day and I handle everything necessary for the kids from getting them ready for school, doing their work with them, disciplining them, playing with them and picking them up from school or whatever is required. So, there really isn't much difference most of the day, that he is in another country.

But it still bums me out. It's about having him around after the kids have gone to bed. Having him around to help me decompress after the long 14 hour days that I have with the kids, with work and with running around. It's about knowing someone is there for me to lean into and just breathe. Someone I can be grumpy with if necessary. Someone who gives me the strength to get through those gruelling, long and trying days.

Thankfully, this trip isn't a long one. Thankfully, I can be home in time for bed these nights. Thankfully, and I hope I'm not speaking too soon, no one is really ill. So, in my mind, I know that it isn't going to be too hard and it'll be over soon. But my heart has a slightly different take on the matter and life doesn't feel right when Packrat isn't around.

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