As a child I hated being in front of a crowd.
I always feared being embarrassed. I was always self-conscious. I don't think I dared to speak in public. My voice would tremble and crack. And not until I went to uni and had to do a VIVA, did I dare to speak in front of an audience. After that, I haven't been all that fazed. I ended up choosing a career that required me to stand in front of people and speak or teach. Call the VIVA the baptism of fire.
I cannot remember whether or not there was a time, as a child, that I didn't fear being embarrassed.
Slowly, the twins are becoming old enough to understand what embarrassment means. So that means they have become a little bit more self-conscious.
But generally, they are a lot less fearful of being in front of a crowd than both Packrat and I were; though more so Jordan and Muffin.
Evan is the closest template to us. The other two just belt out tunes, ham it up for all and sundry to watch.
Muffin has no qualms being in front of his class, talking about what ever strange item he chose to bring to school that day. Jordan loves performing and she has a mega-watt smile for the crowd. Evan, if he has rehearsed enough pulls off a pretty good show even if he tells me later that he was actually very very scared.
Thankfully for pre-schooler performers, the critics are not as demanding and harsh. We've all had one of those critics in our lives (occasionally our teachers), who have told us that it was wrong to colour the ocean green, mocked us when we tried to speak up or plain laughed at us because it was such a ludicrous thought, whatever we were suggeting. Hopefully, whatever freedom they've felt just singing, waving their arms and speaking in front of a crowd, will be the beginning of courage to stand in front of others and be heard, as they grow older.
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