Thursday, March 20, 2014

Glimpse into the future

I had a glimpse into the future recently. I didn't need Doc from Back To The Future and the Delorean for that. I just needed a day out with Jordan and her bestie.

School was out earlier for Jordan and her bestie than for Evan. So, I took the two girls out to celebrate the end of term. It was interesting watching them play and chat with one another. Their conversation never let up. They were very animated and involved with one another to the point that no one else existed, mom included. I was just there to keep an eye on them, hold on to their water bottles, escort them to the wash room and eventually take them home. For all intents and purposes, I could have been the helper or their bodyguards. 

There was no malice intended and it wasn't because they were being brattish or spoilt or anything. It was just a real sign of them growing up, disengaging from their mums and becoming their own little people. It was like weaning all over again, feeling slightly out of place and not needed.

Both the twins are slowly doing this, in their own way. Both of them are establishing their own identities and choosing to do things separate from each other. Jordan wants to stay with her cousin. Evan wants to stay with his grandma.

It makes me feel slightly sad because we are no longer the centre of their universe. Packrat assures me that they will always look to us but we have to face up to the fact that while the space we inhabit in their world does not shrink, their universes grow and begin including more people and more stuff.

Part of me feels proud of them, that they are stepping out from under our metaphorical skirts and becoming their own little people. But at the same time, we do seem to be on the inevitable road towards growing up and not needing Mommy and Papa as much.

I suppose this is when some parents decide it is time to have yet another child. But since that just delays the inevitable by a couple more years and prolongs the sleepless nights and further deepens the lines around the eyes, no thanks. I think I'll just accept the truth as is.


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