The boy who cried wolf

The twins are at the point where the mimic and copy everyone doing everything. From yawning to waving to pretending to talk. Their favourite way of mocking us is to cough when we cough or choke. And they do it pretty convincingly and they do it pretty often too because they seem to get a kick out of it.

On my birthday, I told everyone that my son gave me the best present by keeping me up with a fever. It went away after that so I wasn't too perturbed although I was keeping an eye out for a recurrent fever or any other symptoms. I thought we were in the clear though his nose sounded a little bit congested. Even that, I wasn't sure because it only happened when he was sleeping and the boy snores!

Until yesterday morning when I heard clearly a phlegmy cough. And it was a full blown one too. Now, am I a bad mommy that missed the fact that the boy had been coughing all this time since a phlegmy cough does not materialise overnight? I blame myself a little bit but mostly, I'm 'tsk-ing' him about it. I blame his new trick of mocking our coughing. All through the week, he's been coughing but no one knew whether it was pretend cough or real cough.

And even now, after he hacks up what sounds like a hunk of phlegm, he looks at us and grins almost saying "fooled ya!" Well, if he needs meds and complains, them's the breaks for him.


Technorati Tags: babies, sick

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Happy Birthday to all

The difference between the twins' and my birthday is a day.

I'm all nostalgic today because I went into labour exactly one year ago today. Well, later tonight would be exactly a year.

And the best present I got was a video Packrat made for me on behalf of the twins. I got to admire how much they've changed and grown over the year and got teary at everything else.

So here's the video of my first year as a mommy, the twins' first year of life and what I've been doing between last birthday and today.



And here are the lyrics to follow. According to my sweet Packrat, that's what the twins would tell me if they could talk. And since they can't, Daddy's said it on their behalf. Actually, Sarah McLachlan...

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go


Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day

According to Olie, the video goes very fast so try not to blink or you might miss some pictures.


Technorati Tags: babies, birthday

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Babies in Bintan

The Tan family survived their first family vacation by the skin of their teeth. I think it all amounted to being away for just about enough time to have fun, enjoy the kids and come home before the kids really got out of hand and all the adults collapsed in a heap from exhaustion. The trip was to make up for the fact that Mommy and Daddy had scooted off on vacation leaving the bubs behind. What we learnt from this trip with the bubs was that, FIRST we take them on vacation and THEN we go on vacation to recover. Packrat and I got no rest and very little sleep the 3 days we were in Bintan with them.

That said, the vacation was for them and not us. For us, it was work as we ran after them, stopped them from falling into ponds where there were monitor lizards lurking, walking through glass doors, slamming their tiny fists into glass coffee tables or getting their fingers clipped by cupboard doors that they were so fascinated by.


























For them, it was a time for swimming everyday, sometimes even twice a day. They also got to hang out with Mummy and Daddy and discovered that Mummy's shoulders were a great source of transport and that she had really strong arms. Daddy doesn't appear much in the photos because he was the photographer.







































Anyway, lessons learnt from the vacation, apart from the aforementioned one?

1. It not only takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to take them on holiday. My parents and 3 helpers, us, my brother and his wife although to be fair to them, they had their own brood.
2. Hotel rooms are not worth it when there are 14 people vacationing. Villas are a much better idea, especially when there is a fully functional kitchen where meals can be cooked hence avoiding over-priced yucky resort food.
3. Children can entertain themselves with minimal stuff. Most of the bag of toys we lugged over were just flung to the corner in exchange for luggage tags, wet towels to be stomped on and crushed and villa keys to be fought over.
   
4. Adults are easily amused by kids and we spent a lot of time in stitches as the Boy walked round blowing raspberries at everything. He even did it while he was lulling himself to sleep and I found him asleep with his tongue between his teeth. He must have fallen asleep half way through a "Phhhhhffffff....zzzzzzzzzzz...."
   
5. Vacations usually mean schedules get thrown out the window along with the bread to feed the fish. By the last day, both kids were so hyped up on play, there was no nap to be had which meant a great amount of screaming ensued when the bubs were exhausted. This also meant a stressed out Mummy which by extension meant a stressed out Daddy.
   
6. Children even at such a young age know enough to miss home. The joy on the Boy's face when he discovered he was home threatened to split his face. Momentarily, he forgot he was angry at the world because he was exhausted and hadn't napped the entire day as he got reacquainted with his floor, his cot and his high chair.
   
7. The twinlets, while being pre-verbal have words in their own language. We are now able to discern the Boy's 'word' for food, 'I want out of the room' and 'I am SO MAJORLY PISSED OFF WITH YOU!' in upper case including the exclamation mark. Baby J is quite adept at demanding for Aunty D, calling for parents and going 'MINE! Don't touch'. She differs from the Boy by showing more ability to comprehend instructions. Funny how they're developing.
   

Now that they're back, the struggle is to try to get them back into their routines. And this isn't even counting any sort of jet lag. Oh right. Another lesson...we're leaving the factoring in of jet lag till when they are a lot older.

We already have enough to contend with. I need another break.

Sorry, the format's all weird but it's too late for me to do anything and I need to sleep before Baby J comes a looking for me. So for the anal out there, gimme a few days

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Pre PTSD

As our kids near their first birthday, we've been very rudely asked by a surprising number of people whether we were planning to have another one any time soon. Even though at some point, I might like to have another child, the sheer thought of anyone expecting it of us this soon is quite incredulous. No doubt, some people do use their child's first birthday to consider having a second one. We also know people who have fallen pregnant with their second child even before their first turned one. The difference between us and them is that we have TWO of them. Often people who express great envy at the fact that we have twins and show great desire to be like us get a look from me and a warning along the lines of 'watch what you ask for'. People who think twins are a piece of cake and are only TWICE the effort of having one should obviously have rocks in their head and should go to twin baby boot camp. Anyway, to quote a good friend, 'there are always stupid people out there'.

Sufficed to say, we're not ready. And we were proven how not ready we are, a few nights ago when Baby J inexplicably woke at 10 pm and yowled till midnight. We knew something was bothering her but we didn't know what. Teething gel to her gums and hot soothing oil to the tummy were to no avail. Neither was the pacifier, bottle or nipple. Eventually she calmed down enough to sob through her sleep between Packrat and myself. Till the next evening, it was easy to tell when Packrat was thinking about the previous night because his face would suddenly take on this shell-shocked quality. When he talked about it, he made clear that that was the very reason why he wasn't ready to have another kid. Because he hasn't quite gotten over the shock of the first two yet.

I think for mommies, it's a little different. Because we weather so much, no matter how distressing the crying becomes, it's just another incident of unfathomable baby behaviour. Unfortunately for this particular father, he remembers every nuance of the cry and every instance of such inexplicable distress. He records it and it is replayed with exponential intensity every time there is an addition. Apparently, I've added to it too, with the tears that I shed at my own ineptitude every time I fail at consoling our children.

At the end of the day, when we take stock, it has been difficult. It's become progressively easier but it's still not without its challenges. It's still stressful, it's exhausting, exasperating and sometimes leaves one feeling extremely panicky. And it's easy to hit that breaking point. Thankfully for us, there are always people to relieve us so that we can step outside, take a breath and regain our footing and composure.

One of our doctor brothers was telling us how he had to treat a 9 month old who had been shaken so hard she bled in the brain and had retinal tears. Of course, outrage was expressed and pain was felt for the child. I also felt a flash of anger and irritation when others who had heard the story began to tsk at the lack of self control, the bad temper and the wrong choice of caregiver that led to the child being harmed. And in the next breath, espouse the joys of having children, especially children who are close to one another in age and how that is the best thing for every couple out there. In my mind, if these people got their way, it would be a recipe for disaster. Yes, it is true that the caregiver bears all responsibility of harming the child. But I've been around my children enough to know that there really is a fine line between restrain and totally losing it because of the child. I can easily imagine how Jordan's continuous crying can cause a person to want to do just about anything to shut her up. I can easily imagine how the lack of sleep, the great exhaustion and being at the end of the tether can cause one to do something that he or she wouldn't normally do. In other words, I can imagine the insanity that someone can be driven to by an inconsolable child.

So Packrat is actually right to have reservations about adding another to our brood right now. We kid and tell people we haven't really got much sleep since the kids were born but there is more than a grain of truth in it. I do often feel like a failure because I'm not the ideal mother to my children. And our children are not the easiest of bubs to care for. I think, either one, on their own would have been fine but the good Lord blessed us with the two of them at the same time and that challenge, while not insurmountable does require every ounce of energy that we have. One day, we will be able to look back at all this and be misty eye and nostalgic about this first year. But we haven't really gotten to that point yet. When I jokingly remarked that we were still experiencing Post Traumatic Stress, Packrat's slightly hysterical and high pitch response was that we couldn't possibly be suffering from that because that would imply that the hard part's all over and we just have occasional nightmares from it rather than still be living in it.

That said, I do miss my bubs being tiny and sleeping all the time. I also know that if given another chance, I'd do a lot of things differently. But such a sociological and selfish reason is not reason enough for me to warrant putting myself and Packrat through all that at this point in time.

Technorati Tags: babies, crying

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Driving Miss Jordan

The new favourite playground for the twins is the car. Either car. Ours or their grandparents. They love moving the steering wheel, they love all the little gadgets and flashy things.

The problem is getting them out once they're in the car. A little bit like getting them out of the pool.

Anyway, this is one of the munchkins, going for a spin. Her grandfather says that he will use this photograph to bargain for a dowry for Jordan.

"My grand daughter drove a Merc before she turned one. Now, how are YOU going to top that?"

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Missing in Action

We finally made it out to Melbourne despite all the false starts and the kids not being well. And now we're back. We're well rested but this time there wasn't a bath tub in sight for milk baths so there was a lot of dumping of milk which cause the VERY pro-breastfeeding mother community there to bug their eyes while I nonchanlantly poured milk away into the sinks of nursing rooms. As with all trips when there is finally time for reflection and the mind isn't running on auto-pilot, some revelations crystallize. One of those revelations was that I have a threshold of about a week before I start being whiny about missing the kids and being irrationally paranoid that the kids would punish me for being away. Another revelation, well, it's not a new one but it's one that slaps me right in the fact every time we're in a country with a cooler climate is that Packrat metamorphoses into a different person, a happier and cheerier person. And since the kids take after him favouring cooler temperatures, well, me too (though my moods are not as extreme),the question is SHOULD WE MOVE?

But that ability to ponder and possibly turn it into reality remains a flight of fancy because, well, it's taken me 5 days to find time to sit down and write this, much less think about things that are potentially logistical nightmares! Maybe it's part guilt, maybe it's because I'm more rested and up to the challenge of the kids but I've been more busy with them than ever. In part, it's also to do with all the high jinks they manage to get up to now and marvelling at how much they've grown in the last 10 days.

They now are able to communicate better and their personalities come through quite clearly. Even though Packrat laments that they're not rational beings yet, they are beginning to understand more and it is infuriating and amusing at the same time.

Both children now understand what NO means. "No touching the fan", "No pulling the wire" etc. It elicits a loud cry of displeasure and often is followed by the stamping of their little feet.

Jordan knows how to point and grunt imploringly, steering whoever is carrying her to where she wants to head.

Evan is able to fling balls forward, spending a great amount of his time, squatting down to pick up his plastic balls and fling them one by one or two by two out of his playpen.

But the biggest achievement of all and possibly the most liberating for them is their new found freedom to walk unassisted. Of course, my impetuous daughter always ends up in a run, propels herself forward faster than her balance allows, causing her to trip and fall. That ends up in tears of complaint to everyone around before she picks up where she left off. Her little brother is more cautious and uses his arms for balance. His walking reminds me of how I used to mark out ballet steps in the studio. The feet were always more complicated and the arms always got in the way so marking out steps often involved me holding my arms over my head while working out the feet. The boy does the exact same thing. Arms raised high, as if surrendering and tottering around at full speed with a big grin on his face.

We're very proud of them though. At 11 months, wings on their feet. It's that or talking and I guess since they've started with the walking, the talking will come later. Right now, there are some consonant and vowel sounds and a whole lot of grunting. Communicative imperious grunting but grunting nonetheless.

















































They seem to also like the both of us a whole lot better now that we've been away and we're back. My only concern is that it is getting progressively harder to leave them because they're more cognizant and more able to emotionally blackmail us. We think what might happen is we'll still vacation on our own but we'll vacation with them too. Progressively, our getaways will become shorter and holidays with them longer but that'll be when they stop with the grunting and start with the speaking. We agreed that the first place we take them to should be Perth where the weather is mild and there are open spaces for them to run around.

Technorati Tags: babies, couple time

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