Strong and Confident

5 weeks after the twins were born, I blogged about the great sense of loss I felt when my nanny left.

Today, I am in the same predicament and feel the same loss. I think in some ways, I am a little bit more prepared. I have survived the twins and I did have to look after Muffin on my own over the CNY period, much of the time, without Packrat's help even.

But there is the additional challenge now of the twins competing for my attention and basically no one to fob Muffin off to if the twins really needed my full attention. That is coupled with the fact that there will be occasions that I will need to go out and am uncertain whose hands I can leave Muffin in. I'm not going to ask my helper this time round. But I can't really explain why without it becoming a very ranty, other post.

These are very real challenges for me. Packrat is certain that, like with the twins, we will survive it. I guess so too. But there is a tiny sense of trepidation in me. Something I'm trying to be brave about and quell by telling myself that it'll be fine, babies are tough and it'll be a great time for the twins to learn to be more independent of me.

Like one of those self-affirming meditation tapes, my mantra for today is "I am a strong and confident Mommy". All I have to do is convince myself of that.


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